"Hey, just on time." Meredith said as Callie came through the door. "Dinners just ready, girls are just washing up."
"Perfect, thank you, how was Sofia?" She asks as puts her bag down next to the sofa.
"Great, she has been upstairs with Zola the whole time, Zola missed her." Meredith said as Callie followed her in to the kitchen. "How was Arizona, she talk with you?"
"Yeah, we talked, thankfully. She's doing okay considering. I feel really bad Mer, all this time I thought she was just putting work over Sofia, the arguments we had because of it and it turns out she can't fly. She's scared" Meredith frowned in confusion. "I thought she had flown with Alex?"
"That's what I said but turns out she had nightmares for weeks after that and hasn't been able to fly since and that makes me feel even worse, we were together then Mer, and I didn't know she was having nightmares."
"Yeah, it's hard, I have nightmares still, I have flown a few times since but every time I do, the memories it brings back can be intense, and I always swear I won't fly again."
"How do you do it?"
"I mostly freak out, sometimes I get drunk" She smiled.
"Arizona tried that too, it didn't work." Callie sighed as she picked up the plates to take over to the table as Meredith filled the glasses with drinks.
"You have to remember that Arizona not only has to live with the emotional pain but she has a physical reminder. I lost my sister, we all lost a friend. But most of all came back with injuries that we were able to let heal and forget about, never see again, but Arizona's injury will always be there to remind her of that time, that can't be easy for her."
"Do you remember that plane crash that happened here not long before you left I think, Richard saw the plane crash and they brought all the victims from the plane and those that had been on the ground, and I remember when I heard what happened and I saw all those people crying and screaming and the injuries my mind went straight back to those few days we were stranded, and all I wanted was to find Arizona, she was the only other person in the hospital who was with me that day and understood, and I searched everywhere for her while I was freaking out, and I found her in a cupboard and she was freaking out too, and we sat there together telling ourselves that we were okay. Over and over we repeated it." Meredith said remembering how hard that moment was. "Point is I hadn't had nightmares for months before that happened and I then had them for a short period afterwards. Derek never knew either, I didn't tell him because I didn't want him to worry about it. Maybe Arizona did the same thing after she had flown with Alex, sometimes we just want to protect the people we love." Meredith said as she walked out to the hallway to shout the kids down for dinner.
Callie did remember the crash in Seattle and she remembered that she had turned down Alex Karev's pleas for her help with Arizona, and she regretted that too, she had said she couldn't be that person for Arizona anymore and she believed it to be true at the time, but now thinking back, why could she not have at least checked up on her. Just because they had broken up didn't mean she couldn't have been there as a friend for her daughters mother in a time that had obviously been highly distressing. Just one more thing to add to her ever growing list of regrets.
"So, what's going to happen now?" she asked as she came back in to the kitchen.
"I don't know, I told her we would figure something out. If I need to travel with Sofia myself I will. Sometimes I wonder why I am even staying in New York still, I have nothing keeping me there, Sofia is obviously unhappy, she misses Arizona." Callie said "I guess I will have to think things over, do what's best for Sofia. I guess I never did that before" She finished off quietly just as the kids all came running in to the kitchen, full of laughter.
Callie decided to worry about all her problems tomorrow and enjoy her dinner with her friend.
Tomorrow she would work on fixing her mistakes.
...
"Mama wake up" Callie groaned the following morning as Sofia shook her awake but she didn't open her eyes. They had only returned from Seattle in the early hours of the morning and she was not ready to get up "Mama come on, wake up"
Callie opened one eye as she looked at the clock on her bedside table and groaned again louder this time. "Sof, its only 8am." She replied covering her eyes with her arm as Sofia jumped on the bed next to her. "We didn't go to bed until 3am, how are you so full of energy" she said, and Sofia giggled as she pulled Callie's arms away from her eyes.
"Can we phone mommy now?"
"Sofia it's too early, its only 5 o clock in the morning for mommy, she might be still asleep."
"But I want to tell her that I love her and that I'm really sorry."
Callie pulled the covers up and let Sofia climb under them, as she lay down Callie wrapped her arms around her pulling her in close.
"We will phone her at lunchtime, that means it will be 9 o clock for mommy and she should be awake by then."
"Okay" She replied quietly.
"Come on, let's try get another couple of hours sleep, otherwise I might turn in to a big grumpy bear" Callie joked as she tickled Sofia's side and nuzzled her cheek. Sofia burst into laughter as she tried to pull away. "Okay, okay I will go to sleep" she said as she cuddled into Callie and closed her eyes.
...
Callie woke first a few hours later, checking the time she saw it was just after noon, looking back to the bed she saw Sofia still sprawled out and fast asleep. She decided to let her sleep for a while longer, while she made something for them both for brunch.
She picked her phone up and saw that she a message from Arizona, replying back with a simple 'Thank you.' In response to Callie's text to her to say that they had arrived in New York safely.
She thought back to her conversation with Arizona last night and couldn't believe she had been so naïve as to believe Arizona had got over her fear of flying. She vowed to do better, to help her ex-wife. What she had said last night was true, it was her biggest regret letting things turn out how they did. They should have done better. She should have done better. She was the one that broke the happy medium they had managed to maintain after the divorce. Arizona had been happy for her when she moved on with penny, had even encouraged her at times. Was happy for Sofia to be introduced to Penny.
Callie had taken that for granted and had only now just realized. Her mind had been filled with Arizona since the moment she had seen her ex-wife the night before. It had been so long since she had seen her, and she noted how defeated Arizona seemed, how she had lost weight since she had seen her last and her eyes didn't sparkle the way they used too. She knew if it were her who had lost custody of their daughter she would probably have lost her fight too.
She flipped the eggs over and put the waffles in the toaster, and picked her phone back up again, and sent off another text to Arizona.
'Hey, Sofia woke up at 8am wanting to call you, she really wants to apologize, I told her she can call you this afternoon. Can you let me know when you are up? Or free? and I will get her to call.'
Callie placed her phone back down on the table as she turned the cooker off and began to plate the waffles and eggs.
Just as the plates were loaded up her phone rang, glancing over at the caller ID she saw it was Arizona.
"Hey" She answered, balancing the phone between her shoulder and ear.
"Hey Callie, Is Sofia there?"
"She's still asleep at the moment, I can go..."
"Oh Sorry, you said she was up from 8am, I...I can call back." Arizona said Quietly.
"No, it's okay, my bad I should have been clearer, I made her go back to sleep or I would have had a grumpy child all day."
"And a grumpy Mama!" Arizona retorted and Callie smiled to herself at Arizona's joke.
"Well, I did tell her that too." She said with a laugh. "I'm going to wake her now anyway, I have just made us something to eat. How about I get her to call you back once she has finished eating?."
"Yeah, thank you! I will be staying home today so whenever she is ready, I will be free."
"Okay. bye Arizona."
"Bye Callie."
Back in Seattle Arizona was sitting at the table reading through some research as she had taken a day off to let the redness and blisters around her limb heal before putting on her prosthetic, but she couldn't focus on her research at all, the conversation with Callie playing in her head. She had been surprised to see Callie on her doorstep, she was the last person she had expected to see. She was glad they had now broken the ice, and had been able to have a real conversation without arguments. She had spent so long resenting Callie for taking Sofia from her, for not even thinking of her at all when she decided to move to New York, it still hurt her but Arizona had intended to go to New York every opportunity she had. The first time she booked her flight, she hadn't realized herself just how terrified she was, like Callie said she had flown with Alex on a short flight and she thought she would be fine, but taking off on the top of the hospital was a completely different experience to walking towards an international airport that was so busy and noisy, planes were taking off and landing overhead non-stop and each time a plane passed over and she heard the sound of the engine her panic grew until she was so overwhelmed a panic attack kicked in.
She was so upset with herself when she got back home, she had been looking forward to seeing Sofia. She hadn't expected that reaction, she hadn't prepared for that reaction. When Callie text her to ask if she had landed, she had lied and said that she got pulled into surgery, she didn't want to tell her that she couldn't get on the plane, she didn't want to think about it, because if she couldn't get on a plane she was going to completely lose Sofia and she wasn't ready to think about that and the last years of their marriage had been destroyed with the aftermath of the plane crash and the loss of her leg, Callie had gotten frustrated many times that the loss of her leg had gotten in the way of their relationship and plans, and it had, but Arizona couldn't help her feelings, her life had changed when her leg was amputated, everything was harder, she was in pain not just physically but emotionally too, it had changed everything and she knew it hurt Callie too, it had changed her life too and Arizona understood that.
She was broken from her thoughts with the sound of her phone, seeing Callie's name on her Caller ID, but knowing it was likely Sofia had her smiling.
"Hello" She answered.
"Hi Mommy!"
"Hey Sofia, how are you, I miss you already." Arizona smiled.
"I'm good, I just had eggs and waffles for lunch."
"Yum! that sounds great."
"Mommy, I miss you too!" Sofia said a little quieter this time, "I'm really sorry for saying I hate you, I don't hate you mommy I promise, I love you, I really love you."
"and I love you too, so very much."
"You don't hate me?" Arizona detected a slight wobble to her voice, and it sound like she was trying not to cry.
"I could never hate you Sofia, I love you more than anything in the whole world." Arizona replied softly and she wholeheartedly meant it. Children had never been part of her plan, part of her dream, but the second she laid eyes on her little girl, the tiny baby she helped save she had fallen deeply in love, and she knew from that moment that she would love her forever. "Okay? I will love you forever and ever. I promise."
"I love you too, forever and ever. I promise too." Sofia repeated her words with a slight sniffle. "I'm sorry I didn't give you a hug goodbye."
"Don't cry baby, that's okay, next time I see you I will give you super long hug to make up for it."
"You promise?"
"Yes, I promise, I can't wait to see you again."
"Mama said you don't like flying, it gives you bad dreams." She stated "and that's why you can't come to New York to see me."
"Yeah that's right, but I am working on it" She said, trying to not to say anything that can get her hopes up.
"That's okay mommy, mama said we are going to help you. Oh mama is here I think she wants to talk to you too." She said before her voice was muffled a little bit as she moved the phone away from her ear. "Do you want to speak to Mama?" Sofia asked.
"Yeah okay." Arizona agreed.
"Okay, bye mommy, I love you."
"I love you too, bye Sofia." Arizona smiled as the phone got muffled again as Sofia passed the phone to Callie.
"Hey."
"Hey Callie."
"I just wanted to say I meant what I said yesterday, we will come up with a plan for you and Sofia to see each other. I promise."
"Thank you Callie" Arizona replied, smiling softly at how determined Callie was. "I'm not going to stop trying to get on a plane."
"I know you won't, but please don't put pressure on yourself Arizona, I know I have been selfish and inconsiderate at times, but I really didn't know you were struggling so much with this, I would have helped, I would have understood. I'm sorry you couldn't come to me. I will help you with this."
"Okay."
"How about you I bring Sofia out in a few weeks time for the weekend before school starts back and you can take her out and select some school items with her, I'm sure she would love that." Callie offered and now Arizona could feel her own emotions begin to take over.
"I would really love that Callie, are you sure?"
"Yeah of course I am. I know we have a lot of hurt between us both, and things haven't been easy, but I want to change that, for you and for Sofia. I may not be able to make up for the hurt that this has cause, but I would at least like to try." Callie said quietly.
"Thank you, I would like to try as well."
"Great, well how about you send me your schedule or whichever weekend you will be free and I'm pretty flexible right now so I can work around you."
"I will make the time, I will send you some dates once I'm off the phone." Arizona said, her mood already lifting.
"Okay great, well I best let you go for now, oh! how's your leg today? Is it any better?"
"Yeah thank you, It is better, I took the day off to let it heal a bit longer before putting my prosthetic back on."
"Thats good, how long will you need to keep wearing that old one?"
"My new one should be ready in a day or two, I hope."
"Yeah I hope so too, well, go enjoy the rest of your day off, and send me your schedules and I will let you know what dates we will come okay?"
"Yeah, I will, I will do it as soon as I come off the phone."
"Okay, bye Arizona."
"Bye Callie." Arizona said as she hung up the phone. She wiped at her eyes that were a little damp from her tears. but for the first time in long time, they were happy tears, she felt better after speaking with Sofia and now knowing she was going to see her daughter again in just a few weeks gave her so much joy and it gave her something to look forward too.