Chapter 44

Edward slept well during that period. As a youth, he had often been plagued by surreal versions of his bullies and father every time he'd closed his eyes. Then, as an adult, he had often dreamed of being outsmarted. By anyone, really...the women he tried to court, his bosses, the bloody postman...anyone. The mere notion had always driven him bonkers, for as far back as he could remember.

Yet ever since he'd moved under Oswald's roof, he had been sleeping like an infant.

But that night, the night before the appointment with Professor Barker...whomever the hell he was...Edward barely slept a wink. Curiousity gnawed at him like a moth on a wool blanket. What, he kept wondering, did Oswald want him to see? And why would a scientist have to be involved? In fact, now that Edward thought about it, he'd heard about Barker. He'd been stripped of his license because of his peculiar interests and home-brewed medicines. The underworld hadn't wanted him, either, because of how tame and pacific he actually was.

Did it have something to do with Ruby's status as an experiment?

What was he saying? Of course it did!

But what, exactly, did her abilities include? Oswald had muttered something here and there during his visits, but had never directly stated what his friend could do.

Now abandoning all hopes of sleeping, Edward tossed the blankets aside. With a flick of his wrist, the bedroom was flooded with soft light. His was a generous bedroom, larger than the 'sleeping section' back in his apartment. From what he'd heard, Oswald had had the entire room repainted a deep, forest green. Edward's favorite color. There was a generous amount of furniture as well: a king-sized bed with satin sheets, a polished desk carved from rosewood, and a wardrobe twice as wide as Butch. Not to mention the private bathroom and the scented sacks of herbs in each drawer. It was like living in a five-star hotel...without the daily bill, of course.

Except for Ruby's almost daily receipts for dinner. Edward wondered if she did this because she thought he might be able to pay them one day, or just out of spite.

He was leaning towards the latter.

Brushing off his pajamas, Edward sat down at his desk. His new laptop slept. He reactivated it with the push of a button. Then, carefully, he made his way into Arkham Asylum's virtual files. It was hardly a challenge when '12345' was the password for entry. It took him a bit longer to find Ruby Sinclair's file, having to go back almost a decade into the past.

What he read chilled him to the core.

At the first light of dawn, Edward bathed, dressed, and ate by himself. As per usual, he mixed Wheaties with Fruit Loops. Any psychology buff would have claimed that this metaphorically meant that he liked combining his unhappy childhood with his more respectful adulthood. But in reality, he just loved how these two cereals complimented each other.

He'd just finished rinsing the bowl when he heard a door quietly close. Instantly alert, he hurried to the window. Stark black against the periwinkle sky was a familiar figure, heading for the family crypt. Biting his lip, calculating his chances, Edward decided to give it a shot. Either that, or put up with the curiousity screaming in his ear all day.

Keeping sixty paces behind Ruby, he kept his steps as quiet as possible against the cut grass. When Ruby ducked behind the crypt's door, he waited until he'd counted ten 'Mississippis' before stepping inside.

Leaving the early morning light behind, Edward found himself in a chamber of cold dampness. With only the occasional scented candle fighting the shadows, the place looked as if it belonged to another time. With detached fascination he looked at the coffins. At the names and dates beneath. Some had, from the quality of their final resting place, made a name for themselves in life. Others had not.

Soft whispers floated through the air like dust. Edward followed it, careful not to make a noise. Any sound that he may make would be amplified. Ruby would have his head. And Oswald, too. He did seem to always be on her side.

Ruby's sweatshirt, which Edward now realized was a deep purple rather than black, was hunched over. The back of Ruby's curly head was lowered as if in prayer. As Edward edged closer, he heard her speak:

"Oh, Master. I can't believe it's been a year since you..." A faint sniffle. "I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. I should've prevented it. I knew that Grace was depraved. But...not enough to poison her own husband." She sniffed again. "Your...your bedroom. We never touched it. And your painting? I keep it clean and tidy. It's the least I can do. The estate is yours, after all. I still think it is."

Edward immediately understood. He may have disliked...pretty much everything about Ruby, he knew that he had no right to invade upon her grieving. Bowing his head, he headed out the door. Silent as the crypt walls.

Ruby opened her eyes, where more tears flowed. She turned around, a faint crevice on her brow. Seeing no one, she shrugged it off. Turning back to the coffin, she sighed. "I'll have to polish it again soon." Her fingertips lightly traced the deep pink lillies. "These are still good, though."

Not for the first time, Ruby's heart twisted in her ribcage. This was all that she had left of the kind man who'd taken her in. A rotting corpse in a stone crypt. A few lillies, changed every fortnight, and a couple of amethysts from her grotto. Nothing else. No more kind words. Pats on the back when she exceeded what he'd asked of her. Hugs for special occasions like the Master's birthday or Christmas. No more trinkets along with her monthly pay, unknown to anyone but the two of them.

Ruby covered her face with her hands. Wept until she no longer could.

Before any of them knew it, the appointment with Barker drew near. That was why, with a mere twenty minutes to spare, they all piled into the limousine.

"Okay," Edward flipped through his booklet, "we have until 1:30 until the rest of the election team shows up. It is currently 9:00, so-"

"We'll be there in time, yes." Ruby groaned from the driver's seat. "Dude, relax! This is the third time you've mentioned this."

Edward smile tightly. "One must always keep track of time, lest it keeps track of you."

Ruby rolled her eyes. "Great. Any more fortune-cookie quotes you wanna share before we go?"

Oswald sipped at his wine. Saying nothing.

Edward thought about it for a second, then nodded. "If you have to play Owl City again, I'm going to jump out of this car and let the road do with me as it will."

Oswald drank deeper.

Ruby's finger hovered over the radio. Then, with a sigh, she nodded. "Fine." Her hand dropped. A moment later, the limousine rolled smoothly out of the parking space. Oswald and Edward filled the silence by discussing business matters, while Ruby cast a glance at them when she could. A two-pronged fork of jealousy stabbed at her as she watched them. Edward and Oswald had loosened up since that night at the Big Bang Burger. Time had seemingly melted away for them, and any awkwardness that may have existed had died. The men's body language showed that they were quite comfortable with each other. The easy comfort on Oswald's face confirmed that he'd forgotten all about Ed's virtual abandonement.

But really, did he really have to cling on to the one time that Edward let him down? Edward had saved Oswald's life once, and for that, Ruby was grateful.

Who knew? Maybe she was simply instilling her own sense of abandonement onto her friend. Just because she held a grudge, did not mean that Oswald was obligated to follow suit.

As they took a left, a splash of color hit Ruby's eye amidst the city's gray. When she turned to look at it, she immediately regretted it.

A giant billboard of Opal Sinclair was currently occupying a rooftop. Wearing a skimpy, tight red dress, Opal looked like she was trying to look ten years younger. Yet any forty-seven year-old woman would have killed for a body like hers. Tall and curvy, with porcelain skin and honey-colored hair. Her face was round as a coin, with big eyes the color of milk chocolate. Her lips looked like they had been puffed up recently, and her eyebrows resembled those of an Egyptian queen's. Beneath her image were the words: Anyone can be a jewel.
"Except for me, apparently." Ruby growled. She hastily wiped her eyes.

A gentle hand rested on her shoulder. Ruby turned to meet sympathetic eyes the color of ice. Oswald kept rubbing her shoulder, speaking with his stare. Ruby, in turn, attempted to smile. She knitted her fingers through his and squeezed. Her friend gave her one last look of compassion before slipping back into his seat. Strengthened, the young woman drove them to the laboratory without further incident.

Five minutes later saw Edward sitting in a rustic chair while the weird man in the lab coat hooked up a bunch of machines. "We have an audience once again, sir? Madame?" He chuckled as he eyed Edward. "I truly hope he's a superior specimen than the last one. I've never seen a man so big look so scared."

Edward blinked. "I assume you're talking about Butch?"

"I am!" Barker seemed delighted. Turning back to Ruby and Oswald, who were both stretching, he added, "Such interesting company you two keep."

Ruby rolled her eyes.

Oswald nodded. "Yes. Edward is the most brilliant person that I have ever had the pleasure of meeting." Edward smiled at his friend's words. Cracking his knuckles, Oswald straightened. "Now, what shall we be doing today? Beating up another rude thug or...?"

"No, no." Barker grinned. "If we call in too many of those, people might get suspicious." He reached into his pocket and extracted a remote. He pushed the red button. "No, I thought we could stick to good ol' robotics today."

The closet next to the door burst open. Rhythmic clomps echoed from its wooden interior. From the wardrobe emerged a tin version of...

"Basil Karlo?" Edward gasped. Even as he said it, the new criminal could hardly believe it. And yet, here it was. The being was as tall and thin as his acquaintance, with his bald head shining like a new pin. His skin was polished and smooth, almost reflective. Even the Arkham uniform that maintained his modesty were fashioned out of tin. Even from the distance, Edward could see the meticulous attention to detail, from the faint lines in the robot's face to the stripes on its clothes. Its eyes had been fashioned from polished diamonds, cold and hard. Somehow, Barker had managed to give it the same cold, alien gaze that Basil owned.

Ruby turned to Edward suspiciously. "You know him?"

Edward gave her a look. "I spent the better part of a year in Indian Hill. What do you think, genius?"

Ruby's eyelid twitched. She said nothing. Cracked her knuckles. After a moment, she piped up. "I'm kind of his prototype, I guess. I was the second batch that survived being injected with the formula. Hence the name Strange gave me: Clayface Point Two."

"Interesting." Edward spoke sincerely. "So, is Karlo Clayface Point Three, technically? Because he claims that it is simply 'Clayface'."

Ruby shrugged. "I don't think so. I heard Strange reworked the formula before giving it to Karlo. I mean, it was the first time he'd had to give it to a corpse."

Edward nodded. "It makes sense." Turning to Professor Barker, he asked, "So, how does that robot in any way possess his abilities?"

Barker broke into a huge smile. "I was hoping you'd ask." He pushed a green button before bringing the remote close to his lips. "Initiate: metamorphosis."

The Clay-Bot straightened. A square hole appeared in its chest. What appeared to be ribbons of metal spiralled from its dark center, enfolding the face and body. Within seconds, it was formless. A mass of metal. Then, in the time that it took Edward to rub his eyes, it had taken on a new form. Now, standing before him was a metal version of himself.

Edward removed his glasses, polished them with the hem of his shirt, and perched them on his nose once more. Indeed, his defective eyes were not deceiving him. He was truly looking at a man made of steel, tin, and wires, wearing his face. Taller than Karlo, with broader shoulders and slightly larger biceps. Hair of dark steel slicked back from a long face with high cheekbones. Glasses fashioned from sticks of titanium. Behind them, eyes of sardonyx.

Ruby eyed the two before chuckling. "Hey, Doc, is there any way for us to trade?" Oswald slapped her lightly on the arm. Edward gave her a death glare. Oswald, sensing the renewed tension arising between them, quickly changed the subject. "Incredible, Barker! How did you do it?"

"That's for me to know," Barker winked, "and for you to find out."

Edward nodded, still staring at the robot. "Challenge accepted."

Ruby cracked her neck. "Same here." Turning to Oswald, she grinned and held out her hand. "Shall we?"

Oswald smirked. Took her hand. "That is my line." Edward bit his lip, saying nothing.

Barker held up the remote. "Are you ready?"

Edward stared at Barker, then at the robot. "Oswald and her are going to battle that?"

"'Her' has a name!" Ruby barked. Ignoring her completely, he watched Barker nod. "Yet, not in the most conventional of ways." In that moment there came a flash of light. Edward, thinking that a bulb had exploded, spun around to survey the damage. Instead, what he saw scared him to death.

A person stood where two once had. It was taller than Oswald but shorter than Ruby. It had Oswald's pale skin, but carried a hint of Ruby's peach tone. Hunched shoulders and crossed, thin arms reminded Edward of his friend, but the feminine hips and supple thighs could only be Ruby's. It wore Ruby's purple sweatshirt and Oswald's silken trousers. Its fingers were heavy with rings. Familiar, wild curly hair framed a chinless face. But now, gray-blonde-brown had darkened to onyx. A beak-like nose was raised in the air. Laughter that was both masculine and feminine thundered throughout the laboratory.

The figure opened its - their - eyes. Icy-blue. Dark blue.

Edward didn't notice when he toppled backwards. Nor that his jaw was still dropped.

Cobblair cackled some more at his appearance. Cracking their knuckles, they announced, "We almost forgot how awesome it is to be us!" Perhaps it was Edward's imagination, but their voice resembled Ruby's more than her collaborator's.

"That-" Edward's mouth felt like it had been filled with bleach. "What is-they-?"

"My good sir," Barker spoke up behind him, "what you are witnessing is the amalgam of the future mayor and Clayface Point Two." Chuckling, he added, "Honestly, after looking over this information, I've reached the conclusion that their appearance - that is, how balanced and humanoid the final result is - reflects the relationship between its creators." He giggled like a kid in a candy store. "Professor Strange, eat your heart out!"

Cobblair dropped their crossed arms. "You got it, Doc." Their voice deepened as they turned to Edward, "Hey, Ed. Would you like to see something cool before we commence?"

"I-I...of course not!" Edward yelled. He jumped to his feet and brushed himself off.

Cobblair's smile faded. Looking confused, they tilted their head. Ebony hair spilled over one eye. The indigo one. "Why not?"

"Why?!" Edward echoed. "Because...well, do I really need to encourage this shameless display? It's creepy, unnatural, and somewhat disgusting!"

Cobblair's eyes narrowed. An arm shot out as if to punch Edward, but the other quickly grabbed its twin. Stopping it. Breathing heavily, Cobblair closed their eyes. "Calm down." They whispered. "Just calm down. Calm down..." They repeated this mantra a few more times. At last, the tension left their shared body. But when they looked at Edward, it was cold and distant. Glimpsing past him, at the doctor, they growled, "Let's just get this over with."

Barker nodded. Bringing the remote to his lips again, he spoke. "Begin Clay-Bot Combat. Level 3."

The Clay-Bot changed form once again. Now, it assumed the shape of Cobblair themselves. Seeing Edward's frown, Barker nudged him. "It was Oswald's idea. He said that no matter what, you are your own worst enemy." Edward nodded slowly, remembering his time with the kingpin of crime. He recalled how Oswald had mourned his mother, how he had allowed his weakness to nearly kill him. Too bad he was committing the exact same error with this crime against nature.

Cobblair raised their arms. One widened and grew flat as a disc. Edward watched with both disgust and amazement as it transformed into a shield of bone and sinew. The other grew thin and jagged, reabsorbing the fingers and thumb.

In just a few seconds, Cobblair had crafted a sword and shield out of their own flesh. They glared at their robotic clone. "Let this be the perfect battle."

Clay-Bot copied their motions, forming a sword out of each arm. "You'll regret challenging us!"

Cobblair spat. "We'll see."

Swords crossed. Blows were avoided, delivered, and avoided again. Leaps. Dives. The two figures became but blurs constantly entangling before breaking apart again. Edward watched it all, unsure of what to think. He saw this thing as confirmation of what he'd been fearing until now: that ultimately, Ruby had taken his place. Angered, he raised his voice. "Hey!" He would never know what, really, pushed him to distract Cobblair. But he would know the taste of remorse all too well.

Cobblair stopped. Spun around to glare at him. "What the hell do you-?"

SPLAT!

Cobblair's words were cut off with a choke.

Edward gasped. Covered his mouth with his hand.

Barker yelped.

Cobblair panted, either from fear or pain, as they looked down. The bloody tip of Clay-Bot's had sprouted in the middle of their chest. In the center of a rapidly-blooming red flower. Cobblair's eyes filled with tears. Their mouth, with blood.

"Disengage!" Barker yelled in the remote. "DISENGAGE!"

Clay-Bot ripped its sword-arm out of Cobblair's chest. It made the sound of a knife being driven into a melon. A hole the size of a peach pit was left behind. Blood flowed even more quickly, darkening the purple hoodie. Cobblair made a choking sound as their eyes stared down. Seemingly unable to understand what they were seeing.

Their body became enveloped in light. Then, their figure split down the middle like frozen glass. As the light faded, two figures fell in opposite directions. Ruby. Oswald. Curled up in growing puddles of their own blood.

"Oh my God..." Barker ran towards his desk. Bending before it, he extracted a first-aid kit large enough to host a chimp. He ran towards the two, shoving past Edward. Quickly kneeling before one, then the other, he sighed with relief. "Oh, good."

"What?" Edward watched the color drain from both their faces. "What is it?"

"Cobblair was gravely wounded. But these two shared the wound. Thus, it's not fatal." Barker shook his head. "But still, they both seem to have a few shattered ribs. If we're not careful, the lungs may get grazed."

"Oh..." Swallowing hard, Edward bent down next to Ruby. "Let me help."

Ruby swiped her arm at him. Before Edward could register it, he was rolling on his side like a bowling pin. As he lay on the side, he watched Ruby crawl towards Oswald as Barker bent before him. Taking his hand, she whispered in his ear as Oswald winced and cried out.

Edward silently rose. Found refuge in the limousine. When Ruby and Oswald, both drained of color and slower in pace, returned to the car, neither looked him in the eye. Ruby's fury was evident in the way she slammed the door and stuck the keys in their place. Oswald, on the other hand, did not look angry. But very disappointed.