"So there's absolutely no way to transport him?" Miriam asked, her voice vaguely tinny over the communication device. She didn't sound worried, per se, but there was a strained note that was a stark difference from her usual cheerful attitude.

Lavi looked down the hall at the half-open door that was usually his own room, which they had repurposed into a sickroom for Kanda. There was the faint sound of retching, and then Allen exited, his worried moue covered by the white mask he wore. He was holding a trash bag in his gloved hand, and there was an odd-colored stain on his white apron. Lavi winced.

"Even if he didn't throw up on us as we were traveling and get us all sick," Lavi said quietly, turning away, "We would attract too much attention. There's no way to move him."

It had been like this all morning. First had been the fever, a ferocious thing that had sweat dripping slowly but steadily from Kanda's forehead. The samurai had insisted that he was okay, right up until he turned green and threw up his tea into the sink. This had continued until well into the afternoon; they were lucky if their friend could keep down water, at this point.

Miriam was silent for a second, the air filled with the buzzing static of the open connection. Lavi waited patiently for some kind of response, drumming his fingers against his folded arm.

"...I guess there's nothing we can do." She muttered finally. "We'll have to wait out Kanda's sickness before we can move you."

Lavi glanced over at Allen again, and met his eye. He was still so thin and frail, despite weeks of good meals and sparring with Kanda, and the white glove, mask, and apron he was wearing made him seem more pale than usual. It was probably just Lavi's imagination, but when Allen tilted his head curiously, it made him seem innocent and open. Trusting.

We said we'd protect him.

Lavi waved dismissively at Allen, and turned back to the communicator. "Yes, there's something you can do." He lowered his voice, listening as Allen headed back toward the sick room. "Leave us behind. Bao Lei isn't interested in us-get Allen out of here while you still can."

Miriam was silent for a second, considering. Or at least, that was what it seemed like to Lavi. When she spoke, however, her voice was firm and unyielding. "We've already considered that. We've decided to wait a little longer before taking that risk."

He was speechless for a moment. And then he had to wrestle his voice into something more moderate and less shouty. "Risk? The longer he stays here, the more likely he is to die."

"There's more than one reason why we put him with you two." Miriam responded calmly. "Why do you think we put the scapegoat of the war with the most decorated general of the war and the Bookman Jr.?"

It took him a second to catch on-what relevance did that have with anything?-but when he did, his mouth dropped. "You-" He stopped, voice strangled. "That's-"

"Precisely." Miriam sounded unfairly smug, the crafty little genius. "Bao Lei has shown before that she doesn't care much about civilian collateral. If Allen were living with a couple of finders, or even a few less well known Innocence-users, then she would have no problem simply killing everyone to get to him. That's easy to cover up or explain. But you two-if she were to destroy you two-"

"She would lose the moral high ground. The Order would turn its back on her." Lavi finished. "You...used us as a shield."

"A very effective one." Miriam added. "But if we tried to take Allen out of the city without you two nearby, she could very well just kill him and everyone he was with. It's especially dangerous since we know that Bao Lei is nearby."

Lavi hesitated for a second, uncertain as how to feel about that-how did one respond to being told that they had been used?-but in the end, just nodded. It was for a good cause, after all; they all wanted Allen to be safe. "I'd still like you to consider it, as a last resort. The longer they know where he lives, the more time they have to plan."

Miriam sighed. "Trust me, we're well aware of that."

A thought suddenly occurred to Lavi."What does Komui have to say about all of this?" He asked curiously. It had been several weeks since they'd heard anything from the head of the Black Order-but last Lavi knew, Komui had launched an intense internal investigation for Bao Lei's spies.

"Komui?" She responded, obviously caught off-guard by the question. "Well...he hasn't actually been informed of the situation."

"What?" Lavi hissed. "Why not?"

"That witch hunt of his has pulled up more spies than anyone could have expected, not to mention he's helping Bak Chan try and keep hold on the Asian Order." Miriam clicked her tongue. "As much as I'd like for him to be involved, he's stretched so thin as it is. He trusted me to handle whatever might come up, and so should you."

Lavi bit down on any retort he could've made, not willing to get into an argument about it right now. Even if Komui didn't get involved, that didn't mean he couldn't be updated about possible danger to his soldiers. More than anything else, this sounded like Miriam was out to prove something, but to who and why, he wasn't sure. He just hoped it didn't get anyone killed. "Alright. Was there anything else that you wanted?"

"Actually…" He tensed at the hesitant tone. "There was one more thing."

Something in his stomach dropped. He had a feeling that he knew what this was about.

"What?" He forced out through gritted teeth.

"I'm sorry if this is an insensitive question, but…" Miriam pushed on. "Have you thought about the Bookman's will at all?"

Had he-

Had he thought about the Bookman's will at all? What kind of stupid question was that? He hadn't stopped thinking about it, ever since he had first laid his eyes on the words. As if he could. He was unable to disentangle his emotions regarding it all-terrible anger overlapped with raw grief, paralyzing him, until it was all he could do to breathe.

(But he had to breathe. He had to be strong, for Allen and for Kanda. They needed him now.)

Of course he couldn't stop thinking about it.

"What of it?" He muttered, tone glacial.

"Lavi-"

"I-I know the implications." He cut in. "I know what could happen if I-if I-" He took a deep breath, then another one. He just needed to-to ride it out.

Miriam was silent as he collected himself, either with understanding or sympathy, he wasn't sure. Still, he was grateful for the opportunity to pull himself back together.

"Don't ask me." He whispered finally, knowing that his voice was half-pleading. "Not yet. Give me-give me some time."

"...alright." Miriam relented. "I understand. Please just...think about it. That's all I ask."

"I will." Lavi muttered, and hung up before Miriam could say anything else. He wasn't really in the mood to hear it, anyway.

"Did you just hang up on her?" A soft voice asked from behind.

Lavi jumped, startled, and turned to see Allen leaning casually against the wall, watching him, his delicate hand bare of the glove he'd been wearing. Lavi hadn't heard the other teen sneaking up behind him; despite the muscle atrophy, he hadn't lost his propensity toward stealth. He relaxed, sheepishly scratched the back of his head, and said honestly, "She...said something I didn't like."

He was expecting a mild rebuke, or a dry eyebrow raise. To Lavi's surprise, Allen just let out a bone-deep sigh, and said, "I know that feeling." He shook his head, and then stepped forward so he was leaning against the wall next to a surprised Lavi. "Kanda's finally stopped throwing up. He's resting now, but…"

"That's…good." Lavi decided, though that was debatable. The fact that Kanda was sick at all was worrying-he was, at the moment, their most capable fighter. With the samurai out of commission, they had no way of stopping Bao Lei's people if she decided to come after them. Lavi did not buy, for one second, that his and Kanda's presence was a deterrent. This was why he'd wanted Allen out of the city, dammit. "Listen, Allen."

Allen tilted his head, expression fading to expectant.

Lavi grimaced lightly, but forced the words out. "Bao Lei is coming. She might already be here. Kanda and I, as we are…" He looked away, his fingers tapping against his thighs. "We can't...can't keep you safe. We can't protect you."

Something shifted abruptly in Allen's eyes, and though Lavi couldn't quite tell what it was, it looked uncomfortably close to resignation. He opened his mouth, words forming on his tongue, but Lavi was quick to cut him off.

"I want you to leave Berlin by yourself." He said firmly. "Soon. Tonight, or tomorrow morning. We're dead weight to you, and you're better off without us." He paused for a second, uncertain as to whether or not he should bring it up-but he forged on anyway. "You managed to evade the Black Order for several weeks on your own, after all."

Allen stiffened at that, just a little, as though the very memory of that time made him jump. For a second Lavi wondered if he'd overstepped, but then Allen's shoulders smoothed out, and his expression went from vaguely hunted to thoughtful. "Is...that what Miriam suggested?"

Lavi scratched the back of his head. "I, uh…"

"So Miriam disagreed with you, and you disagree with her." Allen summed up, raising an eyebrow.

"She thinks its a better idea to keep you here, with us." Lavi blurted, swiping his hand through his hair, agitated. "But it's not. The longer you're here, the more chances Bao Lei has to get you, and-" He exhaled slowly. "I...don't want that to happen."

Allen bit his lip, his eye wandering from Lavi's face to the door where Kanda was resting. Without looking away, he asked, "What does Komui have to say about all this?"

Lavi laughed once, quick and harsh. "Funny-I asked the same thing. She hasn't told him."

Allen didn't react for a second, the words not quite registering. But when they did, his eye widened, and he stared incredulously at Lavi. "What?"

"I know." Lavi grimaced, folding his arms. "The fact that Miriam told us at all tells me that she's not a traitor. But I do think it means that she has something to prove to someone. I'm just hoping it doesn't get us all killed."

Allen opened his mouth, the furrow in his eyebrows indicating that he was about to say something biting and annoyed-

There was a knock at the door.

They froze simultaneously, Allen with his mouth still open, Lavi staring blankly at his friend's face. There was a beat where neither reacted, simply listened, waiting for some indication that that had just been their imagination-

There was another urgent knock, this time accompanied by a voice shouting, "Open up, it's me!"

Lavi sighed, relieved, and went to go let Aisha in.

Allen stood at the counter, staring at the boiling tea kettle in front of him, half listening to the chatter going on behind him. The other half of his mind was on the conversation he'd just had with Lavi, the one where his friend had suggested that he leave on his own.

"We didn't see any of Bao Lei's men," Aisha was saying, "But that means nothing. People have ways of moving around undetected. For all we know, they could be watching this apartment."

If he left on his own...where would he go? What would he do? He thought he was well enough that he didn't need the wheelchair all the time anymore, which would help with mobility. But on foot, he wouldn't be as fast. Could he find a carriage to take him outside the city limits, and then continue on foot from there…?

"That's exactly what I'm worried about." Lavi responded grimly. Allen felt rather than saw him drag his hand through his hair, a nervous tic the Bookman Jr. probably didn't even notice. "Where did Naeem go?"

And what if he stayed here, with Lavi and Kanda? Kanda had been the one who was supposed to protect him, but now that Kanda was sick...they were a liability. As much as Allen was loathe to admit it, the both of them were. Bao Lei could easily come into their home and take Allen, with very little resistance. None, if she threatened Kanda and Lavi.

Aisha sighed lightly. "I sent him across the city, in case Bao Lei was following us. I came here in a very roundabout way-we're hoping to throw her off your trail."

Fuck, why couldn't Bao Lei just leave them all alone?

Allen gritted his teeth, squeezing the counter with his hand. He just wanted to live in peace-couldn't she let him have that? But no, she had to cause problems for all of them, had to make them uproot Lavi and Kanda's lives as well as Allen's. It wasn't enough that she was hunting Allen-she had to hunt his friends, too?

It would be simpler, much simpler, if he just gave her what she wanted.

His grip loosened, and Allen blinked.

Kanda would be safe. They could get him to a real doctor.

Lavi would be safe. He could settle down in a library somewhere and write the grief out of his heart.

They could live the lives they were supposed to have after the war, rather than being chained to this broken pariah.

They said they'd protect him.

But they couldn't do that anymore, could they?

More than that, though, more than that...Allen remembered right before his trial, when he'd been too weak to walk on his own. When he'd resolutely stared Komui in the eye and told him, with complete certainty, that he was done running. He hadn't stopped though, not really. He'd still stolen away from the Order to escape his pursuers, still voluntarily locked himself in a cage instead of following through. In the end, he had still done what he said he wouldn't do.

"Thank you." Lavi sounded far too grateful. Far too tired. He was still recovering from the grief of losing the Bookman, Allen knew. But he'd forced himself to be strong.

The tea kettle shrieked, and Allen jumped out of his stupor. He stared at the metal container, for a second confused as to what he was supposed to do with it. Then he shook his head and said in a monotone, "Tea's ready."

Aisha came up on his left, where his sleeve had been tied up to where his elbow would've been, to keep it from getting in the way. She gently touched his shoulder and waited for him to look in her liquid brown eyes before saying, "Thank you, Allen. I know this must be difficult for you."

His train of thought stopped for just a second. His breath caught in his chest, choking all the words that he could've said. The look in her eyes was so kind, so understanding, he felt something break in his chest. It had been so long since someone had looked at him like that, like he deserved compassion and kindness. He felt unworthy of it. He felt dirty.

He had to turn away.

"Thank you." He breathed, "That's very kind of you." And then he covered his mouth with his hand to keep himself from saying anything else.

The hand on his shoulder tightened briefly, and then Lavi said somewhere in the distance, "Come on." Then the hand left him to his swirling emotions, left him to try and stay afloat among the shattered pieces of his heart.

There, drowning in a sea of uncertainty and fear, he made his decision.