Megamind—was not entirely certain how he had gotten into this position.
The position, specifically, of being underneath a desk and on top of Roxanne, oh god—
One instant, he'd been ready to attack whoever was waiting to ambush him from beneath the desk, the next instant—Roxanne? what was she doing here?—and then she had grabbed him and pulled him bodily beneath the desk.
He'd been so caught off guard by the move, and so focused on not accidentally cutting her with the knife in his hand, that he hadn't thought to try to stop her.
Which had probably been fortunate, because, as soon as they were both beneath the desk, the office door had audibly banged open and a pair of clearly intoxicated people had stumbled into the room.
A man and a woman, Megamind thought, with the tiny portion of his mind that wasn't occupied with wordless, panicked mental screaming. And they were clearly a couple.
"Shh! Shhh!" the woman said, giggling. "Be quiet! Somebody'll hear!"
"You 'shh'!" the man said, laughing, too.
"Make me 'shh'!" the woman said, and gave a quiet shriek of laughter that cut off into the unmistakable sound of extremely passionate kissing.
Megamind, perfectly motionless beneath the desk, stared down at the equally motionless Roxanne.
The space beneath the desk wasn't large enough for either of them, let alone both of them; Roxanne lay pushed up on her forearms, her knees bent, and Megamind had wound up actually in her lap, his knees on either side of her hips, bending over Roxanne with his own forearms braced against the side wall of the desk on either side of her head and the knife still in his hand.
(fuck fuck fuck fuck she was so close she was too close—)
One of her hands was clutching his jacket, and the other arm was wrapped around his waist, and the light from the window fell on her face—only inches away from his own—letting him see her frozen, wide-eyed expression quite clearly.
"Mmm," the unseen woman said. "Do you think anybody saw us leave?"
"No," the man said—there were several short smacking kiss noises—"Why?"
"Because if not, we could go ahead and take advantage of the privacy."
There was the clicking sound of high heels crossing the floor a little unsteadily, moving—oh no—moving towards the desk, followed by the heavier sounds of the man's footsteps.
Megamind saw his own horror reflected in Roxanne's face. Her arm around his waist tightened.
The footsteps stopped, still on the far side of the desk, and then the desk shook slightly as she evidently hopped up to sit on it.
"Really?" the man said. "Here?"
"Why not?"
Roxanne's eyes got even wider, and Megamind saw her distinctly mouth the word 'no'.
"Someone could come in," the man said.
Someone is already in! Megamind thought desperately. Go away! Go home! Go to a hotel! Go literally anywhere except—
"Mm, I know," the woman said, "makes it more exciting."
There was the noise of more kissing.
Megamind cursed the couple in his mind. Beneath him, Roxanne shook her head in wild, silent horror.
The sound of kissing grew more passionate.
Do something! Roxanne mouthed silently at Megamind.
Like what?! Megamind mouthed back at her.
He glanced pointedly at his hand that held the knife and Roxanne made a face at him and shook her head. Megamind gestured eloquently with his shoulders, indicating that he was out of ideas.
Above them, there was the sound of more kissing, interspersed with giggling.
Roxanne's lips moved rapidly—cursing fluently, Megamind saw, reading her lips. Finally she stopped and just gave him an agonized look, which he returned feelingly.
Both of them jumped as something from the top of the desk—the mayor's name plate, probably—clattered to the floor.
The couple didn't seem to notice.
Roxanne just looked up at him, eyes round—
And then her lips twitched—and twitched again—and—
She shook beneath him with silent laughter, and Megamind, who had finally almost managed to very nearly make himself forget the extreme closeness of their position, found it abruptly and forcefully called to his attention.
Roxanne jerked with laughter beneath him, her body moving against his as she laughed. She closed her eyes and clutched him even tighter and turned her head to the side, neck arching as she laughed soundlessly.
Then she actually squirmed underneath him, hips pressing up into his, and really, surely this was entirely more than a reasonable universe would expect him to bear?
In desperation, Megamind bent forward and pressed his lips directly against her ear.
"Stop. Laughing," he said, voice so low it was barely even a whisper.
Roxanne went still, and she did stop laughing—probably more out of surprise, rather than in response to his command, Megamind was sure; she'd never followed his instructions even once in the entire course of their relationship, but—
A quick, sharp pain at the edge of his jaw. Megamind jerked his head back from her in shock—had she just—had she just bitten him?
Roxanne glared up at him, eyes glittering dangerously—
—oh god, that was actually worse than the laughing had been; fuck—
Light suddenly flooded the room; both Roxanne and Megamind jumped. On the desk above them, the woman gave a little shriek, and the man a startled curse.
"—right, okay," said a new voice, the tone clearly indicating that it had seen things like this too many times before. "I'm gonna have to ask you folks to clear out of here; this is a restricted area."
The woman went into a fit of giggles and the man laughed, too.
"Right; right; sorry; yeah—we'll just—"
"This way," the new voice said.
"—sorry; yes—"
"—didn't know—"
"—looking for the bathroom—" the man said unconvincingly.
"Uh huh," said the third voice, unimpressed.
The light snapped off again, and there was the sound of the door shutting, and then silence.
...to be continued.
notes:
Happy Day 15 of my Birthday Fic Month! And happy day 4 of the Megamind tumblr Valentine's week event! The prompt used was 'awkward situations'.
Thank you all for continuing to read and review; I hope you enjoyed the update!