Somewhere on Autumn Woods Drive

By Rikku Minouke

Disclaimer: Don't own YYH

Chapter ten

There was time in my life where I had to do things I regret, just to survive. I never want you to go through the things I have. While all of it was a learning experience and I agree I am a stronger person because of it, but I wonder if you would love me the same way if you knew what I had done.

I was starting to get sick of my frenemy, the toilet. If the doctor was close on her calculation, I was almost eight weeks along. Slowly standing up from my knelled position on the floor, I pushed the silver knob on the tank. These side effects were slightly annoying. Shaking my head I stood over the sink and ran some water. My hand cupped some to bring to my mouth. The vomit feeling coated the insides of my cheeks and I swished the lukewarm water around before spitting.

Rolling my shoulders, I pulled open the door to Kurama leaning against the opposite wall with his arms crossed in front of his chest. Stopping nervously, we made eye contact. He had that same look on his face that he'd had at Grounds when he agreed that I could move in. I stood there silently looking at him, waiting for him to speak.

"You need to go to the doctor," Kurama told me and I shook my head. "Seriously, this is the fourth day in the last week I've heard you throwing up. That's a lot of days to be calling in to work."

"I'm using my vacation days this week," I told him and that was actually true. Koenma told me that when the morning sickness started to get worse he'd let my take a paid vacation. It surprised me, but I gladly accepted.

"I doubt you have that much PTO," Kurama leveled me with a stare.

"No, but it's borrowed PTO for the rest of the year." I saw him inch his chin up slightly. His gaze remained unchanging.

"Botan," Kurama said. "I'm serious. I think you really should see a doctor."

"I can tell you're serious." I told him but shook my head. Attempting to move passed him, Kurama pushed off the wall to stand in front of my way. I could feel my heart beat pick up slightly. Deep down, I knew Kurama would never hurt me, but it was making me nervous. "Please move." My voice sounded like a wounded animal even to me.

"Why are you refusing to go to the doctor?" Kurama asked. "Do you have health insurance?"

"Yes I do, but I –" he cut me off.

"I'm worried about your health," Kurama told me as the green in his eyes swirled with concern. "You don't eat very much, and you throw up all the time. After the flu, my next conclusion is bulimia."

"I don't have an eating disorder," I pressed my lips together, trying to control the offended tone in my voice. "I eat small meals, but I do eat frequently throughout the day."

"For me will you please just go to the doctor?" Kurama asked, trying to calm his voice.

"No," I said and I was starting to feel like I shutting down on the inside.

His hands reached out and grabbed both my biceps. In my head, I knew his touch was light and his fingers were barely circling my arms. However, in my heart, all I saw were the dark amber eyes with bad intentions and the finger nails digging into my flesh. Tears welled up in my eyes and a few leaked past my barrier against my will. Even though I knew Kurama would never hurt me, I heard the laughter in my head. I heard his deep chuckle as each fresh tear burned my face.

"Don't touch me," I stepped out of his reach and closed my eyes. My arms wrapped around my middle like a tight straight jacket.

I could hear his hands fall to his side, brushing the fabric of his kakis. "Botan…" by the tone, I knew his face had fallen and his eyes turned s deep longing color.

Shaking my head, I moved by him and quickly walked to my room. I shut and locked my door, sliding down the wood to lean against it. A knock vibrated my back and I knew Kurama was there, just inches away. I had no doubt he was confused and possibly hurt my reaction. Partially, I blamed the pregnancy hormones and the other part was the past with my ex. I knew that in order to move on with my life, I had to get over what he'd done to me.

Another knock came through the door and I leaned my head backwards. "Go away, Kurama."

"Botan," he voice wasn't very loud and I wasn't sure if that was because he wasn't speaking at full volume or if it was the haze clouding my brain. "I'm sorry I pushed you so hard." He paused and maybe he expected me to respond, or maybe he just had to take in a deep breath. "I didn't mean to upset you." A shaky breath entered my lungs. If only he knew that any normal girl wouldn't have responded the way I did. "My mother died last year." When I closed my eyes at his words, I swore under my breath. "She was very ill and the doctors couldn't save her. They told me later that if she had come in sooner that maybe they could have done something to keep her alive." Swallowing the lump in my throat, a few stragglers slipped out of my eyes at his story. His voice was like a sad melody. "I don't want you to end up like my mother."

It was quiet for several minutes before I heard his feet softly pad away.