Somewhere on Autumn Woods Drive

By Rikku Minouke

Disclaimer: Don't own YYH, tough shit. a few would change. Like more seasons with some fluff here and there with other characters. Cough, cough

Chapter eleven

There are a lot of people I wish you could have met that are no longer in our life. People who would have shown you compassion and strength. But there are also those people that I'm forever grateful that you never had the displeasure of meeting.

It had been a few days since I had seen or talked to Kurama. Even though we had been roommates for two weeks and known each other three weeks, it was still very unsettling to not speak to him. I knew I couldn't let this continue and after a while of sitting against that door, I had accepted that it was my fault. Yes, I knew I had over reacted but I also knew I couldn't control that.

Today, Kurama was home in the living room. By the sounds coming from the TV, I assumed he was playing Call of Duty or something. Steadying my heartbeat with a deep breathing exercise I found online, I opened my bedroom door. Small steps led me to the opening of the living room. Kurama sat on the couch, looking zoned into the television screen. I stood there for a moment watching him. His red hair was pulled into a lazy pony tail at the nape of his neck and his grey sweater was rolled up to his elbows. His sock clad feet were resting easily on the cherry wood coffee table.

I ran my tongue nervously over my lips. Glancing up from the screen, Kurama did a double take at me standing there watching him. Quickly, he sat up while pausing his game. This made me smile lightly. I wasn't used to this type of reaction when I entered a room.

"Botan," Kurama said my name with surprise in his voice.

I glanced down nervously at my hands before looking back up at him. His uncertain expression almost made me chuckle. It appeared that he was as nervous as I was. "I think it's time we talked." Taking several more steps into the room, I decided to sit down on the edge of the leather chair.

"How are you feeling?" Kurama asked and I almost rolled my eyes at his question.

"I'm doing alright," I told him honestly. "A little nausea here and there but over all good."

"I'm glad to hear that you are feeling a bit better," he told me with a minor up turn of his lips.

Moving my thumb over each fingertip, I counted my movements.

One, two, three, four, three, two, one….

It was a technique a doctor once taught me to deal with high levels of anxiety. You focus on the counting as a way of taking a step back from the situation to get a clearer head. In this case, I wasn't completely sure it was working. There was no more avoiding this situation. He was here waiting for me to talk and I was here to gain a confidant.

Inhaling a deep breath through my nose into my lungs until it hit my stomach, I held it for a few seconds before slowly letting it out passed my lips. "I'm sorry for the way I reacted the other day. I was rude and emotional-"

"Botan, you really don't need to apologize," Kurama tried to stop me but my eye lids slid down to close for a moment.

"No, I really believe I do." Shaking my head, blue strands of hair fell over my shoulders. Raising my eyes back up to meet his, I could tell by the darkening color that he wanted to argue but he instead remained silent. "I did in fact go to the doctor the other day. Well, over a week now." I paused as he intertwined his fingers in his lap. My gaze went down to study his hands, loosely clasped over his jean clad knees. "I don't have a better way at coming out with this, other than just being blunt. I'm pregnant."

Like with Koenma, there was a moment of silence and I refused to look at his face. This wasn't a situation I could have ever prepared myself for, no matter how much time I sat in my room thinking of all the things to possibly say. He straightened his shoulders and tilted his head back to count the bumps in the ceiling. The music from his game was the only noise in the apartment. When he suddenly stood up, my eyes blinked wide open. Kurama walked to the sliding door at the back of our apartment. With his back to me, it gave me a moment to really study him.

His hands were splayed wide on the edging of the glass door. It wasn't too hard to assume his back was tensed up under his sweater. Peeking out of his faded blue jeans, his black android was nestled in his back pocket. The blue ponytail stood out against his red hair. My head lowered to watch the tremors in my hands shake once again. Damn, that anxiety is getting out of control.

The shuffling of fabric notified me that Kurama had turned around and was probably watching me now. Closing my eyes again, I wasn't sure what to expect him to say. "How far along are you?"

I swallowed before responding. "Eight and half weeks." Again he was silent as he probably regretted agreeing to me moving in with him.

"Who is all aware of this?" I couldn't tell what the tone in his voice was.

"You and my boss."

"And you are keeping the child?"

"Yes," I nodded and I knew that was probably the most defined answer I'd given him.

I heard him take a deep breath before walking over and sitting back down on the couch. "Were you planning on doing this by yourself or was that why you were so determined to move in with me?"

That got me to look at him with my eyebrows scrunching together. "I didn't move in with you because I was planning on making you my child's father, if that's what you are getting at. I moved in here with you because I knew that this would be a better environment for me and my child than to be at my parent's house."

"So you did know before you moved in with me and neglected to inform me of this?" Kurama leveled me with a gaze and I shook my head, momentarily glancing up at the ceiling.

"I assumed, but I wasn't positive," I told him honestly. "If I told you I could be pregnant, would you have let me move in with you?"

He paused and looked into my eyes as if they could tell him the answer he was looking for. "I'm not sure."

The silence returned as we both looked down at our hands. For a moment, I wasn't sure who would break it first. Then my impatience got the best of me. "Where do we go from here?" Standing up again, Kurama took a deep breath before heading to the front closet. I watched him pull it open and slip his shoes on. "Where are you going?"

"I can't answer your question yet," he sounded lost. "I need to go. I'm sorry, I need time to think about this." With that, he grabbed his black zip up sweatshirt and headed out the door with it still in his hands, only after snatching his keys from the hook.

Shock and regret hit me hard as Kurama's presence filtered away. Grabbing the TV remote from the table I shut off the screen to let the emptiness in the room settle in. I let my back fall against the plush of the chair as I raised my pink eyes search the ceiling for something I couldn't place. My right hand lifted to spread across my still flat stomach. A tight squeeze wracked my throat as I tried to force the negative feelings away. However, that battle was lost and a sob pushed passed my lips. At first there were only single tears that dripped from the corner of my eyes. It wasn't long before a steady stream followed.

My eyes burned once the flow stopped. Who knew how long I had sat in that chair, watching the unmoving white bumps while I cried. Once it was over though, my body felt so drain, I could barely push myself up to stand. Dragging my feet to my bedroom, I nudged the door open and flopped on to the bed I had made this morning. It took mere minutes for my mind to give into the weary muscles and drift off to sleep.