Chapter 60

Night fell. Dinner was served. Edward didn't show. Oswald sat in his chair for the better part of an hour, his chicken breast and mashed potatoes left untouched. Then, he silently rose and retired to his room. Ruby sat at her own seat for a while longer, playing with her tofu chicken, before following her friend's example. As the servants cleared the table, Ruby clomped up the stairs. She could already hear the dense clicks and clacks of liquor bottles being placed against glass. Sighing, she glimpsed at her watch. Nine forty-five. Edward had left at five.

When she reached Oswald's door, Ruby stopped. Caught between two choices. She could leave her friend alone to his thoughts, or keep him company. Either she gave him space or show him comfort. Either one could turn out to be the wrong choice. What if he sought solitude? What if he wanted company to avoid drinking himself into a stupor?

With a sigh, Ruby rapped her knuckles against the hardwood door. Her rings - turquoise, emerald, opal - clinked softly like chalices. When there was only a murmured reply, she dared to turn the knob. Peeking through the slender space, she was immediately assaulted by the scent of rum. Quickly plugging her nose, she called out. "Hey, Oz."

"Hello." Oswald's reply rose from amongst the blankets.

Ruby hesitated, ready for an ugly answer. "Do you...want to be alone? I can go if you want." She added quickly.

There was a moment's silence, then a rustle among the fabrics. Oswald sat up, his sihlouette dark against the fireplace's crackling flames. A glass full of brandy sat in his palms like a baby bird. His eyes were almost luminescent, like tiny bolts of blue fire. Around them were deep crescents of worry. And pain. "No." He croaked. "If...if you'll have me, I would enjoy some companionship." Ruby gave a tiny smile. Nodding, she turned to dust. Her particles blew towards the bed, where she reformed into a sitting position. Oswald scoffed, shaking his head at the display. "I shall never get used to that."

"Good." Ruby fingered her pearl necklace. "I want to keep some of my appeal."

"You have enough appeal for more than one lifetime." Oswald told her kindly.

Ruby rolled her eyes. "Yeah, sure." She plucked the glass out of his white fingers. "You've clearly had too much." Her arm stretched out, reached the slightly-open window, and emptied the glass in the night air. A second later, they heard angry shouting coming from below. Sharing a look, the two chuckled behind cupped hands. Ruby crashed back on the mass of pillows and blankets. "So, what now?"

Oswald shrugged.

Ruby knew what that meant: that Oswald intended to mope around until Edward returned home, however long that took. No, that wouldn't do.

She rested her chin in the palm of her hand. "Want to play chess?"

Oswald cocked a brow. "Chess bores you, as I recall."

The first deputy mayor gave her friend a vixen's smile. "But it doesn't bore you."

Oswald blinked, then returned the smile. For the next hour, the two of them played meticulously. They hardly shared eye contact, instead focusing on the placement of their pieces. The room was quiet, interrupted only when Oswald rang the bell for a maid. Ten minutes later, the maid returned with hot tea and leftover biscuits from a campaign. Ruby devoured one chocolate-chip cookie after another, getting crumbs all over the Persian carpet, whilst Oswald sipped his tea. He kept the bag in until the hot liquid was almost black, and took no sugar. Ruby, on the other hand, added a generous dallop of honey to hers. Over this after-dinner snack, battle erupted on the chessboard. Oswald won thrice, while Ruby held a solitary victory.

Oswald watched her from across the board, his eyes taking in her nervous chewing and her twitching brows. At last, he spoke. "Can I impart on you some advice?"

Ruby sighed. "Well, considering that your army slaughtered mine, sure. Just as long as it's not a trick."

"I wouldn't need to trick you in this game." Oswald smiled playfully at her. "I know you, my dear. You have a fine mind, but it stumbles when it comes to strategy."

Ruby nodded, albeit reluctantly. He was right. Whenever they formed Cobblair, Oswald was the one concocting a plan while Ruby focused on defence and offense.

"Don't fight here," he pointed to the chessboard, "or against our enemies. But fight everywhere simultaneously...in your mind. Everyone is your friend, everyone is your foe. Every possible scenario is played out. Every possible outcome is given life. In that way, nothing will surprise you because you will have already imagined it occuring." Oswald quirked a mischievous eyebrow. "That is how I won my crown from the Maronis, Falcones, and Fish." A shadow fell across his face for an instant. Ruby recognized it for what it was: a dark memory, diluted with doubt and sadness. He wasn't sitting in front of her anymore. He was back in the woods, back under the moon, standing before a resurrected Fish.

Ruby reached out and covered Oswald's hand with hers. It was clammy and damp, as though he'd just emerged from a cold bath. Oswald stared down at their hands as their fingers gently entwined. "Your hand is warm." He whispered softly. His brow furrowed slightly. "What was the name of that song from those fantasy books you read? 'Hands of a Woman'?"

"'Hands of Gold'." Ruby corrected him. Smiling at the memory, she sang softly, "For hands of gold are always cold, but a woman's hands are warm." Oswald nodded, watching her. Suddenly blushing under his gaze, Ruby removed her hand from his. Quickly rose. "Well, that's what the song says, anyway." She crossed her arms protectively over her chest, looking at the door. "Wow, it's really late. Maybe Ed's home."

"Ruby," Oswald said gently, "have I said something to upset you? Done something?"

Ruby swallowed hard. His only actions that had upset her - rather, unsettled her - had been to be himself. So wonderfully Oswald. Calculating and sharp-witted. Yet vulnerable behind his dense armor. The way he'd looked at her just now...it could have almost passed for longing. But Ruby knew better. He was emotionally fragile at the moment, and the alcohol had hardly helped. That was the only explanation possible, and Ruby knew it. But simply seeing that stare, knowing that it wasn't true longing but simply the result of loneliness and heartache, had picked at old wounds until they threatened to bleed again.

She shook her head, trying to smile. "No, of course not. I'm just tired and-"

The faint purring of moving tires reached her ears. Followed by the rapid crunching of overrun cobblestones. Ruby lit up. "He's home!" She darted to the window, pressing her face against the condensed glass. Edward's car (bought with his payment, along with a borrowed sum from Oswald) rolled into the drive-way. The headlights died, and the driver's door opened. Edward's long, thin figure stepped out. But he wasn't alone.

"Is he truly home?" Oswald's voice was close behind her. Too close.

"Uhhh, Oz?" Ruby spun around and seized her friend's arms. "He, uh, looks tired. And so are you. Maybe you should get some sleep, and talk to him tomorrow."

Oswald's jaw set. "If you think that I'm going to let him get away with missing dinner-"

"You won't!" Ruby interrupted. "Catch him by surprise tomorrow morning, when he's drinking coffee. He won't have time to make up an excuse. Okay, Oz? Okay?"

It wasn't okay, and Ruby could see that it wasn't. More than anything, Oswald looked like he wanted to break free of her grip and run down the stairs. But something in him wilted. Faded into the dark weariness caused by drink and pain. Sighing, he nodded. Pulling away from Ruby, he lumbered towards the bed. He crashed face-first into it, and didn't move. Ruby released the air from her lungs. Out of habit, she put the tea tray on the table to be collected in the morning. She put the chessboard, and all of its pieces, back on Oswald's shelf. Then, she turned and reached out. Her arm stretched to the length of a boa. Grabbing the edge of the blanket, puddled at Oswald's bare feet, she pulled. Once Oswald's thin body was covered, Ruby gave a polite bow, left the room, and closed the door behind her.

Silently, she made her way to her own room. Each creak felt like a greeting from old friends. Beyond them, she could hear the howling wind picking up outside. But there was another sound still. Unfamiliar, even alien. Coming from the ground floor. Ruby closed her eyes and strained her ears. Stopped walking so as not to mask the noise that she was attempting to hear. The wet sound of kissing. Clothes being shed. The creaking of a mattress.

Ruby gave a sad smile, feeling both joy and envy towards the Chief of Staff. Then, turning a deaf ear to his bliss, she climbed up the steps.

The next morning dawned bright and cold. Icy winds blew against the mansion, rattling the windows and making the surrounding trees bow. The floorboards were chilled as Ruby's bare feet, toenails painted pearl-shaded, stepped upon them. Yawning and stretching, cracking her neck and popping her knuckles, she headed for the kitchen. Oswald was still sleeping; she could sense it. That was why she had awakened.

As much as she cared for him, Ruby could not deny the uneasiness that last night had caused her. For a brief second, she had honestly thought that he may have kissed her. Under the influence of alcohol and sorrow, he had turned to her for comfort. That had stung her a bit, and she further felt guilty for convincing him to hit the hay. It was rather funny: she, a woman with no family, no name, no wealth, had sent the most powerful man in Gotham to bed with little effort.

Scratching her head, causing more curls to plop over her eyes, Ruby walked through the kitchen's doorway. Stopped.

Edward was hovering over the toaster, paitently waiting for its contents to pop out. Waffles, probably. Since he'd moved in, the household always finished waffles soon after they'd been bought. Edward was dressed in a green velvet robe, but beneath it, his legs and arms were bare. Covered in sparse brown hair, like a threadbare carpet. His hair, normally immaculate, was disheveled and sticking up like Oswald's. There were two spots glowing in his cheeks, and strange red bruises marred his neck.

Ruby smirked. Crossed her arms and leaned against the wall. "From what you've told, Isabella didn't seem like the feisty kind."

Edward jumped like a scared rabbit. Spun around and relaxed when he saw Ruby. The spots in his cheeks intensified. "Oh! Ruby, good morning, I was just-"

"Preparing breakfast for yourself and your lady? Presumably to bring to her while she's still asleep?" Ruby inquired with a fox's smile.

Edward's blush reached his neck, purpling his love bites. "I, er...well, yes." He bit his lip. "Oswald...well, I don't think he likes Isabella very much."

That's an understatement, Ruby thought. "Why do you say that?" She asked.

"Just a vibe." Edward shrugged. "So I'd really appreciate it if you didn't tell him she's here."

Ruby gave a small smile. "I already did."

Edward frowned. "What?"

"Last night, I saw you two coming in. I stopped Oz from looking out the window." She shrugged. "As long as you get Isabella out of here soon, Oz will be none the wiser."

Edward stared at Ruby for a long moment. His eyes were wide behind his specs, his cheeks flushed. The toaster emitted a popping sound, and the scent of waffles quickly flooded the kitchen. He didn't even turn. Ruby shifted under his frog-like gaze. Turned to the fridge where a chocolate pudding awaited. As she took a spoon along with it, Edward finally spoke. "Thank you." Ruby shrugged again. Hopping on the counter, she began to dig in. "No problem." She ate quickly and quietly, leaving Edward to finish preparing his own breakfast. From the corner of her eye, she watched him. He placed two mugs on a tray, as well as a small saucer filled with jelly. He retrieved the toaster's contents - a waffle and two slices of toast - and added them to the tray's gathering. It was only when he'd finished filling two glasses of orange juice that Ruby spoke. "What did it feel like?"

Edward stopped. Turned. "What?"

"To make love with someone, well, that you love." Ruby explained. Setting the empty pudding cup down, she elaborated. "I've rolled in the hay many times, but none of those times were done out of love. Infatuation, sure. Lust, definitely. And a lot of experimentation with my preference." She ran a hand through her hair, eyeing Edward unblinkingly. "I bet your time with Isabella was better than all of my times combined."

Edward chuckled a bit awkwardly. Temporarily abandoning the breakfast tray, he leaned against the counter. "I hardly know about that, but..." He smiled fondly. "Yes. It was wonderful. Marvellous. It was as though our very souls had linked, not merely our bodies."

Ruby gave a wistful smile. "That sounds like heaven on earth." She met his gaze and held it. "But I'd be more careful in the future. I may not be here next time, ready to tuck Oswald in."

"You were here this time," Edward replied, "and that means that I owe you a favor." He held up a finger. "Nygma favors are rare, so I'd advise against wasting them."

Ruby's eyes twinkled. "I'll think of something."

Morning soon melted into afternoon. Muggy and dark gray. Crows cawed loudly from tree branches. The hidden sun looked like a giant silver coin. Ruby witnessed all of this as she tended to the vegetable garden. Old habits die hard. Oswald, on the other hand, remained in the warm safety of the mansion. He stood before the large mirror of one of the dressing rooms, wishing that he could present his thoughts onto it as well as he could his face. That would help sort out the mess of sentiments currently at work beneath his calm demeanor.

The source of this discord was standing right behind him, helping him into the coal-colored jacket.

"You are going to cut quite the fine figure at the Founder's Dinner tonight." Ed stated warmly, his voice filled with admiration. If only there were more to it than that. Why hadn't Oswald seen it sooner?

"Yes." The mayor agreed as he buttoned the jacket closed. As he transferred his attention to the cuffs, he continued. "Did you know that this dinner has been thrown annually for over two hundred years? It was started by the first families of Gotham, and only the most powerful citizens are invited." He took a deep breath as Ed's only response was a nod. A bloody nod. Desperate for some bait, Oswald leaned in playfully. "It's a shame I don't have a plus one."

"Ah, what are you saying?" Ed gently nudged him. "You'll have Ruby, won't you?"

"Yes, right." Oswald felt a slight flush rise in his cheeks. He thought back on the party celebrating his ascent to mayoral status. Ruby had looked...lovely that evening, in her home-made red dress and pink pearls. And that dance she'd talked him into...it still made its way into his dreams at times. He swallowed hard.

"I can't go anyway. I have a date." Ed informed him happily before turning to the desk. It was littered with silk ties of every color. Oswald allowed an edge of steel in his voice. "With a woman that you claim to be in love with despite only knowing for a couple of days?"

Ed smiled, remembering his little secret. He held up two ties, deciding, whilst Isabella lingered behind his lids. "The heart keeps its own time." That stung more than a red scorpion's tail. Oswald closed his eyes, trying to control his breathing. His tear ducts. But a lifetime of protecting his dignity from bullies' cruelty had proved useful after all. He recovered just in time to feel Ed turning back to him.

Oswald took a deep breath. "Are you sure you aren't mistaking infatuation for love? You did say that she's the spitting image of Kringle." Which, by the way, he still found insanely creepy and unnatural.

Ed let out a dreamy sigh. He looked at Oswald with a dopey, lovesick expression. If only the mayor himself were the object of such a glance. "Isabella's beautiful. And smart. So she has a...passing resemblance to Kristen. It's just the universe telling me that I have a second chance at love." Oswald, in response, gave him an acrid smile.

Oblivious Ed summoned a tie the color of a ripe grape, and held it to Oswald's throat. Examining the result in the polished glass. "I'm partial to the purple."

Oswald gave a weak laugh. "The deep blue brings out my eyes."

Ed simply shrugged, pulling the tie away, as if to say, 'Suit yourself'.

That small gesture was the straw that broke the camel's back. Slowly, Isabella had eroded his patience. First, she had ruined Oswald and Ed's night. Then, she'd lured Ed back on more dates, on expanded hours together. And now, she was filling up his mind where there had once been interest for Oswald. A fortnight ago, Ed would have insisted on the purple, on being the winner. Now, he just didn't care.

This had to stop, lest things escalate further. Losing Ed would have been the very essence of Hell.

Oswald inhaled. "Where did you say she works?"

"The Main Public Library." Ed chirped obediently, still examining other ties. "Ah, you're right about the blue." Lowering his hand, he gave Oswald an eager smile. Like a schoolboy on the last day of classes. "Do you mind if I skedaddle? I just need to pick up a few things for tonight."

Oswald calmly took the tie. It at least gave his hand something to hold, besides his bleeding heart. "Who am I to stand in the way of love?" He couldn't cage the drops of bitterness that dripped their way into his tone. But Ed, too blinded by his rose-colored glasses, did not notice. Instead, he all but ran out of the dressing room. Leaving Oswald alone with a blossoming plan.