Somewhere on Autumn Woods Drive
By Rikku Minouke
Disclaimer: No YYH
AN: I don't know guys; do I have to go on an updating freeze? I barely get one review per chapter. What's up with that? I know that I get around 60 hits per chapter and none of you can review? How do I know if I'm doing anything wrong or you like certain things or want certain people to come back? Please review. I'm feeling kind of lost without your guys inputs.
Chapter seventeen
I had fallen into a routine that I was way too comfortable with. By the time the second trimester was over, I knew that it would just get more difficult with every day. What I didn't know, was what to expect from the people I hadn't told about my pregnancy.
I looked down at my raisin brand serial Monday morning. Well, it was morning for me, it was actually around noon. Setting the metal spoon on my tongue, I listened to the quiet apartment. The spoon returned to the bowl while I slowly chewed the bran flakes. From my seat, I could see the snow falling onto our balcony.
I had gotten half the bowl down before the morning sickness slithered around my stomach. Nodding to myself, I softly placed the spoon in the bowl before pushing it a few inches to the left. Then, I placed my elbows on the granite and rested my head in my hands. My eyes were shut as I focused on deep breathing. Anything to calm down my heart beat in hopes of not throwing up today.
The bedframe squeaked in Kurama's room and I knew he was getting out of bed. After a few minutes, he appeared in the hall, approaching the kitchen. "Good morning, Botan," he greeted before grabbing a bottle of water from the fridge. "Not feeling so well this morning?" I almost jumped when I felt his palm rub a small circle on the middle of my back.
"Not really," I grumbled. I missed eating whatever I wanted.
"Only a few more weeks," he said and I imagined him having a tiny half smile meant to make me feel better. "Today marks eleven weeks, right?"
"Thankfully," I took a deep breath when he stopped rubbing. Hearing the click, click, snap of the plastic, I knew he opened his bottle to take a drink. Lifting my head to look over at him, Kurama pulled out a stool on the opposite side of the counter.
"Why did you move the stool over there?" He asked, grabbing my bowl and picking up the spoon.
Shrugging and laying my arms straight in front of me, I could feel the cold counter slowly working its magic on my overheated body. I said, "I wanted to watch the snow."
He glanced behind him momentarily and then back at the bowl. Eating a spoonful, Kurama commented, "Right in time for Christmas."
"Can we not celebrate?" I asked, grimacing. "Please?"
Blinking a couple of time, Kurama raised his eyebrows at me in question as he placed another spoonful in his mouth. "No Christmas? Ok Scrooge. Christmas is only two days away." Then he shook his head at his own joke. "Why not?"
"I've just never had a great experience with Christmas," I said quietly, not meeting him in the eyes. "My parents always went above and beyond for gifts. But then the rest of the year we were always struggling for money. It's not worth it. I'd rather not celebrate and remain happy all year round than feel like I live in toy store with an angry Santa the rest of the year."
"Has your dad always been like that?" Kurama asked seriously and I had a feeling it wasn't about Christmas anymore.
I licked my lips nervously. "No. He was worse. My mom said he got sick right after I was born and he just never got better."
"What do you mean worse?" Kurama set the spoon down to watch my facial expression.
I took a moment to think about how to word my comments. As much as I hated my father, he was still my dad and there will always be a part of me that loves him no matter what he were to say or do to me. "He grew up in a strict household and he took some of that with him when he had a family. He's very traditional."
"Botan, stop being cryptic and just tell me," Kurama told me sternly.
Swallowing, "The way I look at my dad is complicated. He never sexually assaulted me and I know he only has the best intentions. But most days, I don't think he knows how to actually, properly, carry out those intentions. I mean, you met him. He's rude, mean, and has what I've always called a 'God Complex.'"
"I could definitely feel the man of the house vibe, very clearly," Kurama nodded but continued to watch me.
"There was a time when I was younger that he used to hit me," I told Kurama and out of the corner of my eye I saw him straighten up. "I forgot to call him 'Sir' after he told me to clean something, I didn't eat the crust on my French toast, or I didn't pass my spelling test. Sometimes I probably deserved it-"
"Nobody ever deserves that."
"When I accidently stepped in his fresh cement slab, or the time I lost the dog, or I tried to run away," I tried to shrug it off like this conversation didn't affect me. Even though, I had no doubt Kurama could see right through that BS.
"I think you trying to run away would be a clear sign to anyone that there is something wrong," Kurama said and I could hear the anger in his voice.
"He once hit me in the head with a rolled up magazine because I wasn't walking fast enough after he told me to do something," I shook my head at the memory. "Like I was a dog. I remember he hit me hard enough for it to really hurt and my eyes tearing up."
I heard Kurama take a deep breath but I let my eyes focus on my fingers.
"That all stopped when I was in eighth grade though," I told him with a little bit of a littler tone. "I couldn't tell you what the question he asked me was, but I remember my answer. I asked him that I wanted the hitting to stop. It caused a big episode. He refused to talk to me for days."
"Did it stop?" Kurama asked, the serious tone taking hold of his voice box.
"Yes, yes it did," I nodded, but the pause in my voice and the ajar slit in my mouth made his eyebrows rise.
"But?"
"But he because more vocal about things," I told him, pressing my lips tightly together. "That's when he focused on verbal insults."
"You mean, like calling you fat?" Kurama asked and I nodded. "This would make more sense then. That's why he felt it was ok to tell me I had permission to just slap you around a bit to keep you in line if I felt like you weren't behaving."
"Yeah, he says that…" I shook my head and sighed. "But that's how he was raised. If someone in his family didn't do as they were told, they would get the belt."
"Did you?" Kurama asked.
"Only once from my dad, but that was different," I tried to explain. "It wasn't severe and he didn't try to hurt me. It was kind of a 'You're lucky I don't do this to you' thing. Really that was nothing compared to other things."
"Why are you defending him?" Kurama asked and I stopped to process what he was asking.
"Because he's my dad," I shrugged. "I don't think he even realizes half of what he'd done. Everything he did, he did because he wanted to make me a better person. It wasn't to give him pleasure. He wasn't one of those parents who got off on that crap and I know this for a fact. Sometimes I think it hurt him as much as it hurt me, he just doesn't know how to change who he is."
"I don't agree with any of this, Botan," Kurama let out a deep breath and grabbed my hands. "I am so sorry you had to grow up that way."
"Like I said, things have gotten better," I told him. "Since I left home, he actually seems like he wants to see me every once in a while. As long as I don't live with him, that is." I rolled my eyes at the thought of those two months that I lived with him recently. "I joked with my mom that he is starting to realize that no one is going to show up to his funeral and he doesn't want that."
"I can imagine."
"Please don't hate my father for what he's done in his past," I finally looked into Kurama's eyes and I could see the conflict there. There was no doubt that my unshed tears where turning my eyes bloodshot. "I don't and if I'm gonna have this baby; my parents will probably be part of that life. It's taken me many years to get over my childhood, but I am now. It was just something that made me grow into a stronger woman."
"You are an amazing person," Kurama exhaled and stood up from his seat. He took several steps around the bar to draw me from my seat into a hug.
"Not so tight, my boobs still hurt," I whispered into his chest. He smiled into my hair and loosened his grip.
"Botan, you will be a fantastic mother." Kurama told me and I couldn't stop the tears from sliding down my cheeks and embedding themselves in the fabric of his black cotton shirt.
AN: Please review