Chapter 63

Newborn daylight flooded the garden. The flowers' colors caught fire, burning with a reverence. The unpicked blood oranges, apples, and lemons hung heavily on their branches. Coated in dew, they sparkled as the sun hit them. Brown bats small enough to fit in a handbag slipped into the shrinking shadows. Ruby watched it all with a heavy sigh. She took a sip of her hot tea, and hardly tasted it.

From her neck hung a clear, teal stone on a simple silver chain. Apatite. Said to help the wearer overcome sadness and grief. Thus far, it wasn't working.

She ran a hand through her curly hair. Closed her eyes. They burned. No surprise: she hadn't slept a wink, and had shed enough tears to fill a bathtub. Last night's events had haunted her each time she'd shut her eyes. Ruby kept hearing the soft sounds of her lips parting from Oswald's, only to collide again. She could still feel the firm, warm grip of his arm sliding around her waist. She still tasted the mixture of booze and tears from Oswald's mouth as it danced with hers. She saw the longing in his eyes burning holes into her soul. She still smelled the faint traces of spicy cologne, combined with alcohol and light sweat. It was a memory that had branded all five of her senses.

All she could do now was hope that the recollection left her quickly, lest it cost her her sanity.

Ruby had been wanting Oswald to kiss her, bit by bit, for over eighteen months. The desire had grown each day until it stood as tall and strong as a maple tree. But she had always hoped that, should it ever happen, Oswald would have kissed her out of infatuation...or even love. Not out of self-pity and misguided need for comfort.

Because, she feared, that was all that she would ever be for Oswald when it came to romance: the second choice. She had known that Oswald had intended to invite Edward on both the party celebrating Oswald's ascent and the Founders' Dinner. On the first time, Edward hadn't been around often enough to be asked; on the second, he'd already organized his evening. Ruby had known it, but she had repressed it. Buried it. Hoped that it was just her own lack of self-confidence and suspicion. Instead, that feeling had been a dark mirror that she'd refused to peer into.

Ruby covered her face. Her shoulders trembled. "Master," she whispered, "what am I supposed to do?"

For a moment, there was only silence. Then, came the scuttling noises of cobblestones being scattered about. An active engine. Ruby looked up. Through tear-blurred vision she saw what looked like a taxi, if the number on the passenger's door was anything to go by. A figure climbed out, slammed the door shut, and all but threw money through the driver's open window. Then, as the taxi backed away, the figure lumbered closer. Ruby rubbed her eyes. Removing her dampened hands, she saw Edward stumbling towards her.

To put it briefly, he looked terrified.

Panting like a hunting dog, he crashed on the porch beside her. "Hey," Ruby put a hand between his shoulder blades, "what's wrong, Stretch?"

"Oh, Ruby." Edward gasped and sputtered for air as though he'd run a marathon. A few chestnut strands clung to his forehead. Sweat created dark patches at his armpits and lower back. His face was as white as parchment. "It lived in the past, and lives on today. It exists in neither time period, yet haunts both. What is it?"

"A ghost." Ruby answered. Her brow furrowed. Setting down her mug of tea, she placed her free hand on Edward's arm. "Dude...why don't you tell me what happened? From the beginning?"

"No, no." Edward shook his head half-heartedly. "I wouldn't want to spew my tale of woe onto you."

Ruby gave him a morose smile. "I'll tell you mine afterwards, so we'll be even."

Edward looked at her for a long moment. Speculating. Calculating. Hoping. At last, he dipped his chin in a nod.

The sun slowly rose into the sky, burning away the dew and offering pallid warmth to the world below. But before it had risen too high, clouds came rolling in like horse-drawn chariots. So thick, they were, they seemed solid. Before long, whatever heat had been descending upon the earth quickly chilled once again.

Edward's story offered no improvements on that state. Ruby listened, dumbstruck, as he painted a terrifying portrait of his morning. A pair of glasses that echoed the past. A second face in the mirror, jeering and mocking. Delicate hands tightening around a slender throat. Gasping, choking sounds. All drenched in pure despair.

"What if I do end up hurting Isabella, as I did Kristen?" Edward asked at long last. "What if I'm caught in this vicious cycle of love and death?"

Ruby rubbed her coworker's shoulder. Her lips were pressed together, while her eyes evaded capture. At last, she sighed. "Ed, I'm going to be really real with you for a second."

Edward nodded, his eyes as large and trusting as a seal's.

"You're scared of hurting someone you love, I get that. And given your past, it's natural for you to feel like that." Ruby stated. "But at the same time, you can't let your fear rule your life. Maybe something bad will happen, but maybe it won't. What if you don't end up hurting Isabella, but you run away all the same? Then, you'll live out the rest of your life with that big, 'what if?'" Ruby gave a sad laugh. "And believe me: life is too long to ask yourself things like that." She looked away. "If you and Isabella make each other happy, then I say, 'have at it'. Dude, there's so little happiness in the world. Don't squander any because of fear."

Edward swallowed. "What if I'm simply too scared to cast the past aside? What if the thought of harming her haunts me every moment I share with her?"

Ruby rubbed her neck uncomfortably. Knowing that Edward had opened up to her, she decided to continued being honest. He deserved that much. "If you're that scared...then let her go. Living in fear all your life? That's not a solution. Though, I'd do it only as a last resort."

Edward slowly nodded. With some hesitation, he reached out. Took the hand resting on his shoulder. Ruby turned, surprised, as Edward squeezed it. Smiling softly, he let go. Ruby sighed as she rested the hand on her knee. "I almost wish we could trade problems."

"Oh, that's right." Edward crossed his legs. A few bones popped like overheated popcorn. "You still have to share your story with me."

Ruby blushed. "I...know I promised, but it's kind of embarrassing."

"More embarrassing than being caught by the police? After confessing to your most hated enemy?" Edward scoffed. "Not likely." He scratched his cheek. "You listened to me for over an hour. I believe you deserve the same courtesy."

Ruby closed her eyes. Inhaled deeply. "I...Oswald and I...we kissed last night."

Edward stopped. Blinked at the void, then turned back to Ruby. "Pardon?"

"He was drunk." Ruby added quickly. "And...upset. You heard about that mess that happened at the Founders' Dinner?"

"Yes, on the news this morning." Edward swallowed. "Indeed, I was wondering why you and Oswald checked in last night as Cobblair. I thought, maybe...it had been a preference."

Ruby curled a lock around her index finger. "I wish. No, we'd fought Tetch and were too tired to un-fuse. Basically, we were the only thing keeping each other standing." She sighed, looking at the grass. "But after this...fusing may just get weird."

Edward patted her back, looking at her significantly. "Ruby...what Oswald did was wrong."

"I know!" Ruby snapped, then quickly cooled down. "Sorry." She added guiltily.

Edward shook his head to show that it was alright.

"It's just..." Ruby sighed. "I...wanted it, Ed. Not like that, but..."

"You love him," Edward said softly, "don't you?"

Ruby froze. Gulped as she turned to him fearfully. "How-how do you-?"

"I think a blind man could see it." Edward cracked a smile. "I barely have a reason to be interested in you two, and I noticed."

"Oh, jeez." Ruby knotted her hands in her hair. Edward swallowed, realizing only too late that his joke had been premature, before patting her back again. "Er, what I meant was, well...what do you want to do now?"

Ruby shook her head. "I wish I knew." Sighing, she rose. "I guess I'll just see how things work out, eh?" When Edward nodded, this somehow endeared him to her. Cracking a smile, she saluted him. "Thanks for listening, Ed."

Edward smiled. "That's what friends are for."

Ruby stopped. This was the first time that their rapport had been labeled. At first, they had barely tolerated each other. Then, little by little, they had come to a sort of understanding. A ceasefire. Isabella had further unified them, helping them soften their relationship's rough edges. Now, it felt as though they had reached the top of a hill that they hadn't realized they'd been climbing. Simpering, she waved at him and disappeared into the house.

But who, of course, would have been waiting for her?

Ruby stopped. Her throat closed as though squeezed by an angry fist. Oswald stood in front of her, dressed in a gray-and-black striped suit. He clutched an onyx cane with a white wolf's head as a handle. His ebony hair was washed and gelled into its familiar spikes. His eyes were a bit bloodshot, and his cheeks were a bit ruddy, but other than that, he was the same Oswald as always.

Except, he wasn't. Ruby doubted that she would ever see him as the same Oswald again.

She quickly took a left.

"Ruby, wait!" Oswald called after her desperately. Ruby quickened her pace. She drove down the corridor, through one of the dining rooms, and spotted a flight of stairs. She'd only reached the first step when Oswald's voice materialized behind her. "Ruby."

"What?!" Ruby spun around.

Oswald took a tiny step forward, his icy-blue eyes never leaving her face. "I spent all of last night lying in bed, staring at the canopy and thinking about you."

Ruby scowled as she folded her arms.

"And...I did an awful thing." Oswald said. "I was upset, yes, and drunk. But that does not excuse the fact that I kissed you without consent. I was desperate for comfort, and I took it from you, not caring about your own feelings." He swallowed, guilt written all over his angular face. "Ruby...for just a second, I didn't care about how you felt. I was only thinking of myself, and my needs. I will never completely forgive myself for that. I swear to you, it will never happen again." He swallowed, his mouth dry. "I'm deeply sorry."

Ruby closed her eyes. Her heart melted. She knew that he meant it. She had lived with him, spoken with him, merged with him long enough to discern the truth from the lies. A part of her wound closed. The other section remained gaping. She sighed, too tired to hold onto the pain. Wanting, more than anything, to feel peace. "Look, just...watch your drinking habits, and we'll never speak of this again."

Oswald hesitated. "Yes...but first, I would like to say one final thing."

Oh, God. Ruby squeezed her eyes shut. "Okay, just...get on with it, before I plug my ears."

"You were my first."

Ruby stopped. Opened her eyes. "What?"

Oswald gave a helpless gesture, as if to say, 'Well, there you have it'. "Last night was the first time that I had ever kissed anyone in that way. Ruby, while I will never stop regretting my actions, I cannot deny that that was my first kiss. Truth be told, I am grateful that I shared it with you." He looked away. "I must seem horrible right now, speaking of your assault in such a positive manner-"

"It wasn't assault."

Oswald turned back to her in surprise.

Ruby was, to his relief, giving him a small smile. "I mean, do you really think I couldn't have pushed you off, if I'd really wanted to? That I was incapable of defending myself?"

"Not in the slightest." Oswald responded honestly.

"Good, because it's true." Ruby nodded. "Sure, it was a shocker for the first couple of seconds. But then...it was nice."

Oswald turned a deep pink. He offered her his hand. She took it. Their fingers intertwined, holding onto each other for dear life. The mayor looked directly into his friend's eyes. Icy-blue mixed with indigo. "I will never discard your well-being again. I swear it."

Ruby felt tears fill her eyes, but she held them in check. She inhaled through her nostrils, lest she reveal how close she was to crying. "And if you ever do, for whatever reason, I'll punch some sense back into you. I swear that."

Oswald gave a light chuckle that contaminated Ruby. He tugged slightly at their joined hands. Ruby stepped forward and wrapped her arms around him. They held each other for a long time. They held on like drowned people on a floating plank. Struggling to breathe again.

That was when Edward walked back inside, rubbing his eyes. Unnoticed by Ruby and Oswald, he took deep breaths and leaned back. A cold stone sat in the pit of his stomach, imposing and heavy to bear. As was the decision resting in his heart.

The decision that ensured both Isabella's safety...and his lifetime supply of unhappiness.