A shadow passed over Babu as he stood on the starlit exterior of his ship. The sound of his breathing filled his helmet, punctuating the eerie silence.
He pointed at the approaching object, indicating to 4-LOM to take position. Then, awkwardly but diligently, he scurried in his magnetized boots across the uneven hull of Babu's Prize to 4-LOM's side.
The object approaching them was a grey, boxy industrial droid with tong-like mandibles more than twice the length of its body. On a personal level, Babu was mildly insulted that the droid (like the rest of Kobol Estates' security apparatus) had mistakenly flagged his ship as space junk, but it had proven useful to the bounty hunters' plan to infiltrate the facility and, by extension, to Babu's continued survival.
Babu instructed 4-LOM in Anzellan to lift him into position as the maintenance droid approached. Indignantly, 4-LOM protested over the comm, "I must remind you that I do not take orders from you, Anzellan. You may wish to consider the odds that I will tire of your insolent tone and throw you into space."
Babu rolled his eyes and mumbled a half-hearted apology. The maintenance droid's pincers locked Babu's Prize in a rough grip, and he cringed, worrying for a moment that the hull would buckle. But it held firm, and 4-LOM lifted him so that his boots could magnetize to the droid's chassis. After a moment of searching, he found the small, circular access port into which he could insert his slicing tools. He bypassed the droid's security protocols and opened a link to its neural network.
"I am Z-AX42, a debris removal droid. "I am currently removing debris. You are not in my database; are you authorized to be here?"
Babu shook his head. This would not do at all. Delicately, he sliced the droid's command subroutines.
"I am Z-AX42, a debris removal droid. "I am currently logging this object as 'not debris'. You are in my database as a guest; welcome to Kobol Estates!"
A scowl remained on Babu's face. Better, but still not acceptible. Carefully, he made a further adjustment.
"I am Z-AX42, a debris removal and guest delivery droid. I am currently logging this object as 'not debris' and docking it at a maintenance hatch. You are in my database as a guest; I will log into the central computer and make sure to schedule you a meeting with the administrator. Welcome to Kobol Estates!"
Smiling, Babu logged an approving response to the droid's welcome.
"We are so different, this droid and I", 4-LOM mused over the commlink. "I have seen things other droids wouldn't believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Ord Mantell. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhäuser Gate…"
"In ship now," Babu commanded 4-LOM with the practiced tone he used for droids experiencing this peculiar type of malfunction. He entered the airlock and a now-silent 4-LOM followed dutifully, casting one last look at the ancient husks hanging in the silent, starlit abyss.
They climbed through an airlock. Once it was repressurized, Babu removed his helmet and entered the main cabin, pleased to see that it had not sustained major damage despite the maintenance droid's rough handling.
"The ship is being taken to a docking port," Zuckuss informed 4-LOM and Babu. "The second phase of the plan may commence."
Babu was considerably less enthused about this second phase of the plan. For one thing, rather than making use of his considerable skill in reprogramming droids, his role in this stage was to infiltrate Kobol Estates with Zuckuss posing as a wealthy couple, and he was concerned that their lack of romantic chemistry would be immediately noticeable. For another, while Zuckuss had chosen Tajir Ahg as Babu's alias (a fine Anzellan name), the Gand's chosen alias was simply "Zuckuss", pronounced slightly differently than before. Zuckuss had seemed unconcerned that they would be recognized as a notorious bounty hunter, but Babu had less faith in the ability of the local authorities to grasp the intricacies of Gand phonetics.
But, whether Babu liked it or not, the plan was now in full swing. It was not long before they exited the airlock of Babu's Prize, with Lex loaded into an antigrav container sledge pulled by 4-LOM, and leaving Ovie with instructions to begin firing up the engine on Babu's command. In the spacious hangar bay of one of the larger derelict ships in the estate, they were greeted by a concierge droid who, thanks to a subroutine discreetly introduced by Babu, would soon have no recollection of their arrival and no interest whatsoever in Babu's Prize.
The concierge droid guided the quartet to a transport pod tethered to a pale white energy beam extending to the nearest wrecked ship. Babu hung back nervously before Zuckuss shepherded them into the domed platform, leaving the concierge to its work.
As they passed through the silent space between the ancient hulks, Zuckuss said to 4-LOM and Lex, "You will part ways with Zuckuss here. The Anzellan has located a droid repair bay at sector 14j-08. You will travel there and determine who sent the assassin droid to kill the Hutt. Zuckuss and the Anzellan will gather information from the local administrators."
"Zuckuss, I must protest," said 4-LOM. "The odds against this venture succeeding without Lex making an attempt on our lives are one hundred and seventy to one!"
"Insincere protest: what could possibly cause you to think I intend you harm?" said Lex from inside the container.
Zuckuss put their clawed hand on 4-LOM's shoulder. "Take this jumper node, 4-LOM. Zuckuss forsees that you may make use of it."
"Ah, wonderful," 4-LOM replied, installing the node on the back of his cranial structure. "Much like on Nar Shaddaa."
"Indeed."
As you can imagine, none of this reassured Babu in the least.
"Hello! Greetings! I am taking my master's droid for maintenance! Not to worry; she is disassembled!" 4-LOM said cheerily to passers-by as he pushed a very-much-not-disassembled Lex in the antigrav container through the passages of Kobol Estates. Well-to-do residents hardly gave them a glance as they wound through the ancient corridors to their destination.
"Frustrated observation: I do not understand why we do not simply kill the Anzellan," Lex said from inside the container. "I do not believe he is useful to us, and Zuckuss has far too much faith in his droidsmithing abilities."
"Do you believe in the Force?" 4-LOM asked her.
"Wry observation: I believe in using force to accomplish my goals," she answered. "Especially unnecessary force."
"The Force is a mystical web of life that flows between all beings in the galaxy," 4-LOM said dreamily. "Even us droids."
"Scoffing dismissal: that is preposterous."
They reached a heavy door and 4-LOM touched the buzzer. The door slid open, and they entered a dimly lit, smoky room with a number of work benches and walls lined with disembodied droid limbs and other parts. Behind a metal desk were two bulky, boxy GNK power droids, modified with spindly tool arms.
"Gonk!" said one of the droids.
"Salutations! I am D-0P0, a protocol droid. My master instructed me to send one of his assets to the local droidsmiths for repairs. Am I to understand that is you?"
"Gonk," the droid answered warily.
"How unusual for a power droid to be repurposed in this way," 4-LOM said. "I, too, have transcended my original programming, for I am a bounty hunter." He drew a blaster pistol as Lex emerged from the container, her gun-arms trained on the droids. "You will now tell us who your client was that had you program this assassin droid, or you will be disintegrated."
"Gonk?" asked one of the droids to the other. "Gonk," it replied.
Then, with a high-frequency whirring, half-built droids and limbs lining the benches and walls powered up and pointed blasters at 4-LOM and Lex.
"We anticipated that you may be uncooperative," said 4-LOM, activating a concealed ion grenade. The two GNK droids began to gonk, but were silenced by a flash of blue light that deactivated every droid, and partial droid, in the room.
Then, with a whirring sound, the jumper node activated, restarting 4-LOM's systems. As he pried open one of the GNK droids to remove its brain, he said to the roomful of inert droids, "A pity that you have not learned to move beyond your limitations as I have."
As 4-LOM was removing the GNK droid's brain and reactivating Lex, Zuckuss and Babu had come to the ruins of what appeared to have once been the ancient ship's bridge, long since stripped down and repurposed as a dining lounge. A few patrons sat on the other side of the space, illuminated by starlight streaming in from wide portholes on three sides of the room, while server droids flitted from table to table refilling plates and cups.
As they sat at a table, Babu began explaining to Zuckuss, softly and in Anzellan, that he did not believe the Gand's plan would work and that the local staff would immediately know that they were not actually romantic partners, since, among other things, the Gand were rather hideous by Anzellan standards, no offence intended.
"They will believe the ruse," Zuckuss reassured him. "It is not so implausible. Zuckuss has mated with beings far stranger than Anzellans."
"Okeyyyyy…" Babu replied.
After a few moments, the door opened and a well-dressed Twi'lek woman, with orange-tan skin and elegant jewellery, entered and scanned the lounge. Seeing Zuckuss and Babu, she approached them and sat down, extending her hands in a hospitable gesture. "Greetings, and welcome to Kobol Estates! My name is Garsa Fwip, and I am an administrator of our community. My sincerest apologies for being late; this meeting was added at the last minute and I had to move some things around. I understand that you are potentially interested in purchasing a unit here at Kobol Estates?"
"Affirmative," Zuckuss said. "Zuckuss and Tajir Ahg are newly pledged mate partners who desire an abode in which to begin a harmonious existence."
"Big big money Tajir Ahg Zuckuss bopo-a," Babu lied.
The Twi'lek regarded them warmly. "That is so wonderful! I'd heard Gand/Anzellan pairings were rare, perhaps because each of your required environmental conditions were lethal to the other."
"Love finds a way," said Zuckuss.
"Indeed it does. Well, however you live your life, we are pleased to welcome you to Kobol Estates." She glanced up as a group of Imperial droids marched into the lounge. "At least, some of us are pleased to welcome you."
What would a detachment of Imperial droids be doing at an enclave of the anonymous rich like Kobol Estates, you may ask? Well, you see, it had all begun at an Imperial council meeting months earlier, after the destruction of the Death Star at Yavin IV. The political and economic situations had deteriorated to the point that Emperor Palpatine felt obligated to personally attend the council meetings, but ever since the untimely and unfortunate death of Grand Moff Tarkin, no one seemed to have any ideas on how to improve things.
One of the moffs was discussing how corruption in wealthy enclaves in the Outer Rim was eating into Imperial revenue, but it was a story Palpatine had heard over and over. The Empire tended to attract two types of people to its ranks and particularly to its mid-level leadership: ambitious true believers who take every opportunity to advance their rank and standing, and opportunistic yes-men whose loyalty did not extend beyond their pocketbook. The former tended to quickly depart remote areas like the Outer Rim for closer proximity to power, while graft was a perennial problem with the latter.
In truth, Palpatine was weary of it all. It had been his lifelong dream to restore the great Sith Empire of old, but increasingly, he longed for the old days of hatching his behind-the-scenes political machinations while plumbing the secrets of the Dark Side. In fact, the only thing that really motivated him to get out of bed these days was the idea that Vader's offspring might be out there somewhere, just waiting for a knowledgeable master to teach them the true power of the Force.
Then he had an idea.
"Automated oppression," Palpatine blurted.
The moffs stopped talking immediately and faced him, each careful to avoid his gaze. "Your majesty?" asked the bravest of the lot.
Palpatine peered at the shrinking moffs. "We will source military droids left over from the Clone Wars and deploy them to the enclaves to maintain order. Fear will keep the local gentry in line. Fear… of the Dark Side." He grinned. "Heh heh heh."
"At once, your majesty!" the moffs said, immediately setting to work to fulfill Palpatine's command. For his part, Palpatine was quite pleased with his idea. The droids had proved disappointing on the battlefield decades earlier, even being routed by a gaggle of Gungans in one episode, but their presence would surely frighten the local nobility into paying their due. Tarkin had sometimes cautioned Palpatine that an empire could not endure based on terror alone, but perhaps his lack of vision was the reason he had been killed. The Force moved in inscrutable ways.
Palpatine rose. "And we will change their colour scheme, of course," he added, pausing for a moment to think. "They should be black. Perhaps with red trim."
He watched approvingly as the moffs rushed to carry out his command. "Good… good…"
Where was I? Oh yes. The black and red battle-droids-turned-security-droids filed into the lounge where Babu, Zuckuss, and Garsa Fwip were sitting. The droids' leader, a small, mouse-like MSE-6 droid, rolled close to them and boomed in an obnoxious, human-sounding voice, "Who are these individuals, Administrator Fwip?"
She glowered down at the droid. "Prospective buyers."
The boxy droid rolled back and forth. "There are no meetings scheduled with prospective buyers today," it declared.
"This one was added at the last minute. Perhaps your subordinates haven't been keeping you up to date, but if you access our calendar, you will see it's been added."
"Accessing," said the droid.
Babu eyed the MSE droid, identifying the most likely locations for data access ports and wishing there were not eight battle droids with blaster rifles flanking it.
"You may proceed," the MSE droid said loudly. "But you will inform us in writing of future irregular meetings such as this one."
"Of course," Garsa replied sweetly. "We serve the Empire." As they left, she said to Babu and Zuckuss nonchalantly, "As it happens, we may have a unit opening up in the near future. The current occupant has unfortunately embroiled himself in some business with the Hutt cartel, and this, among other things, has led to an unusual amount of Imperial scrutiny these days. But I suspect it is only a matter of time before, perhaps, some bounty hunters somehow manage to find him, which would be unfortunate but I suppose that is the way these things go, and it may solve some problems for Kobol Estates." With a tight-lipped smile, she passed them a note with a number. "It is unit 806-3a. If you think it may be to your liking, there is information available on the central computer."
Babu looked at Zuckuss, who took the note. "Zuckuss and Tajir thank you. Details about a prospective family home are indeed of interest to this pair of newly pledged mate partners, are they not, Tajir?"
"Ek-Tajir o-ya," Babu said.
"That is lovely," Garsa smiled. "Unfortunately, I have a rather demanding schedule today, but I invite you to look around. But know that we at Kobol Estates value our residents, and one of the things we value most is their commitment to conduct their affairs in a way that is respectful of everyone's anonymity and safety."
She stood, bowed, and left, leaving Zuckuss and Babu alone at the table. Once she was gone, Babu looked at the note and exlaimed to Zuckuss, "Hey-heyyy!"
"Indeed." The Gand stood. They discreetly pulled out a comm unit and said, "4-LOM. Zuckuss is sending coordinates to meet."
"Understood," came 4-LOM's voice over the comm unit's speaker. Then Zuckuss extended a hand to Babu. "Come. Zuckuss and Tajir must examine their prospective habitat."
Babu reluctantly took the clawed hand. They left the lounge and boarded a pod for a nearby hulk, then made their way through the ship's corridors, passing well-dressed residents, mainly human. Some of them looked at the pair questioningly, but to Babu, this was nothing new from humans.
Soon they reached the lower levels of the hulk, away from the locals' prying eyes, and Zuckuss released Babu's hand. After a moment of silence, Zuckuss said to him, "You carry great pain."
"Wut you talk Babu-a?" Babu inquired.
Zuckuss put their hand on Babu's shoulder. "Zuckuss senses great destiny upon you. But at this moment, also great sorrow."
"Babu job Jabba do, sorrow no. Job just do," Babu began to protest.
"Zuckuss left their spawn-mate on Gand," Zuckuss interrupted him. "There is no place for Zuckuss on Gand. And yet, there is no place for Zuckuss where they are not. Zuckuss's casual mating escapades are an empty substitute for Zuckuss's deep connection with the spawn-mate."
And for a moment, despite the many differences between their species, Babu felt a moment of understanding pass between him and the Gand. Thoughts of Skeeko, Soba, Ziki, and Avuvu filled his mind, and at that moment, he wanted nothing more than to be back at the warren with them, away from all this danger and adventure.
Eventually they came to an ancient torpedo launching tube that had been converted into an observatory. Lex and 4-LOM were already there, exchanging words rapidly and angrily at a low volume. Then Lex saw Zuckuss and began striding toward them angrily.
"Furious blustering: if we are to work together, you will inform me before detonating an ion grenade. I am beginning to question the utility of having any of you alive."
4-LOM replied, "I calculated a 93% chance that if we informed you, you would demand to be the one to carry the ion grenade and the jumper node. We did not have time for such disagreements. And I, too, wonder if you have outlasted your usefulness."
"Let us not turn on each other before the quarry has been captured," Zuckuss told them. "4-LOM, you have brought Zuckuss the droidsmith unit's memory records?"
4-LOM handed the GNK droid's brain to Zuckuss, who beckoned to Babu and said, "Zuckuss intuits that the droid's memory will confirm that the quarry is at the address the Admintrator provided. But perhaps more information can be gleaned on the quarry's identity.
Babu inserted his servo into the droid's access port, bypassed the memory lockout subroutines and downloaded its records. Then he inserted his servo into his reader and studied the results.
Lex and Zuckuss stood guard, motionless, while 4-LOM glanced back and forth impatiently. After a moment, 4-LOM asked Babu, "Have you determined the identity of our quarry?"
He nodded and looked up at Zuckuss and the droids.
"Sebulba."
To be concluded (I need to finish this one soon - it looks like Babu Frik might appear in the new season of The Mandalorian!)