Techno hadn't expected this result to come from him mentioning he doesn't know when his birthday is.
He honestly didn't think it was that big of a deal when he said it. But apparently, birthdays are like… essential to some people? Techno knows age is kinda important, it's how you tell the children from the adults. But he's already been over how differently his warren viewed age compared to Phil and the others in the commune. So he thought birthdays were sort of an extension of that. What does it matter how old he is? All that matters is knowing if he can outrun those that want him dead. Who cares when his birthday is? All that matters is if he's alive for the next sunrise.
Come to think of it, maybe the warren is part of the reason Techno is 'like that' as Wilbur would ever so eloquently put it. It's kind of weird to learn that the way your species lives is inherently trauma-inducing.
Wilbur's party was fun though, and the fact he got a gift makes Techno incredibly happy even if he's not the best at showing it. He's been sleeping with Tommy's blanket every single night and he's sure the others have noticed. Whenever Tommy sees it he grins like he just won a prize or something so maybe Techno using it is in itself a show of appreciation?
But one chilly autumn morning, it leads to Phil holding him back when the others leave the nest.
"Techno, can you stick around for a minute? I want to ask you something."
Techno falters, pushing himself back from the edge of the nest where he was about to jump off. Tommy is already down on the ground but Wilbur turns back to look at him. Phil waves for him to go on, which Wilbur kind of frowns at. He hates being left out of stuff, Techno has learned that the hard way.
At least Wilbur is good at keeping secrets, even if he'll combust when he finds out somebody is keeping one without letting him in on it. Once he does know what you're trying to hide, he'll help you hide it. Compared to Tommy, who also can't stand people keeping secrets from him but is also the worst at not spilling the beans.
Phil's face does not leave any room for argument though, so after throwing him another glance, Wilbur pushes off the edge of the nest. His wings spread wide, allowing him to glide down to the ground. Techno can hear Tommy calling for Wilbur from further in the valley as he turns around and faces Phil properly.
"Is something wrong?" he asks, hating how his voice wavers just the tiniest bit.
Things have been nice, they have been going well. But that doesn't stop a small part of him from always worrying that he'll do something to mess it up. It's been a while since Techno has felt like an outsider with his new family. That doesn't mean he can't feel like he's one mistake away from being shunned again.
And honestly, that makes things even worse. It was easier to cope with the idea of Phil kicking him out when Techno didn't know what he'd be kicked out off.
At his words however Phil's expression gets softer. "No, nothing like that. I just have a question for you and I feel it'd be easier for you to think it over without those two badgering you."
"...Okay." Techno crawls forward, hands automatically reaching for the blanket and pulling it into his lap. The seams are kind of uneven, probably because Tommy made it in a hurry. But Techno likes that because it means he can rub his fingers over them and distract himself from the nervous energy all bunched up in his gut.
"Do you want to go back to your warren?" Phil asks.
Techno stops. His nails catch on one of the seams, pulling on it a little before realizing it might damage the blanket. So he digs them into his own skin instead.
Phil is… asking him to leave?
Did new rabbit hybrids come to the warren that was left behind and make it their home? Does Phil think that means Techno would rather go there and be with his own kind?
It's been almost a year. Techno doesn't know if he even can live like that again. But maybe Phil thinks it's better.
Or maybe Phil simply doesn't want him around anymore.
His breathing has picked up a bit, short little pants he can't quite control. He knows his tail is raised and his ears perked up and the fur along his arms and legs feels like it's standing on end. When Phil comes closer and wraps an arm around his shoulder, Techno nearly jumps.
"Breath, Techno… easy now." Phil rubs along his spine, pressing small little circles into the base of his neck. Techno shudders but allows the elytrian to pull him closer and put his chin on top of Techno's head. It's a bit of an awkward motion for him still - Techno knows it doesn't come instinctually to Phil like all the things he does to comfort Wilbur and Tommy. Phil tries though, mimicking something a rabbit parent would do for their kit. "Tell me what's wrong?"
"I don't want to leave," Techno says, calming down a bit at Phil's gentle touches. It reminds him of his mother, but in a good way. A way that doesn't hurt as much.
"You don't have to leave," Phil says, sounding confused. Until a moment later his own words catch up with him and he laughs. The thrill of it can be felt against Techno's back when Phil pulls him closer still and wraps his wings around him.
It's what he does when Tommy has a nightmare and starts crying. Or when Wilbur works himself up into anxiety over something.
And now he's doing it for Techno and that makes him feel like his head is a bit light and disconnected. Not unpleasant though.
"I'm sorry, I should have explained that better," Phil says. "I meant 'go back to your warren' as in we could visit the place where it used to be. And just take a look around. I realized you never really had a chance to say goodbye since that night, so I thought it might be something you wanted to do. For closure."
Oh… Techno nods absently. He really was working himself up over nothing again, wasn't he?
"I promised you could stay as long as you liked and I don't intend to go back on that promise, Techno," Phil says.
Techno nudges him, words failing him at the moment. He doesn't think he'd be able to eloquently express his gratitude anyway, and maybe he doesn't have to.
Phil gives him some time to think about it, telling Techno he knows it's a hard decision. He also tells Techno that he doesn't have to hurry in making up his mind but it's been almost a year since that night. Techno would be surprised if there was much leftover of his old warren to begin with. The longer he waits, the more nature will have taken over that little hollow where they'd dug out their dens.
Eventually, he tells Phil he wants to go.
They pick out a day in early winter, when storms are brewing on the horizon but haven't quite broken through. There's a tension in the air that lingers along Techno's skin like static electricity. Phil clasps a cloak around his shoulders, tugging it in place.
"Scott is going to meet us there, okay?" he asks. Techno knows Scott is going to come with them. Phil asked if he wanted to bring anybody else, like Wilbur. But Techno had refused.
He didn't know why, but it felt weird that his new family would get to see his old home. Like two parts of his life that existed next to each other but weren't supposed to ever coincide. Phil only comes along because Scott can't take Techno by himself - Starborn can't teleport somebody else besides themselves and it is too far to travel on foot. He might have figured out some other way to make it work if Techno had specifically asked for it. But Phil had found him, he is kinda also part of his old life and his new life. So Techno thinks it is okay.
Only time would tell if he'd come to regret that decision.
"Front or back?" Phil asks. "What do you think is going to make you less nauseous?"
"Uhm…" Techno has to think about it for a moment. Phil hasn't really flown around with him too often, but from just those few times, it's hard to say which he prefers. If he's clinging to Phil's back, he has an easier time looking around and that is preferable for Techno's prey instincts. There's something very unsettling about being hauled around with no idea where you're going. But the movements of Phil's wings also make him kind of dizzy.
Holding onto Phil's shoulders is easier on his stomach, even if it means he has to try and suppress his damn heartbeat from spinning out of control the entire way there.
"Front," he decides and Phil nods.
One more time the elytrian checks that his cloak is fastened properly. Techno has no hardened skin covered in feathers to protect him from high altitudes, so Phil is extra cautious about making sure Techno's sufficiently layered up. Aside from the cape, he's wearing his thick pair of winter trousers, one of Wilbur's jumpers over his normal shirt, and a scarf that Phil sometimes wears when his throat is bothering him. Phil also draws up the hood of the cloak, carefully tucking Techno's ears into the folds of the fabric so they're also protected.
When he's done, he lifts Techno into his arms.
Techno curls his own arms around Phil's neck when he takes off, a quick snap of his wings sending them upward immediately. Phil flies lower than he usually would, but he still has to be high enough to properly survey their surroundings and make sure they don't slam into any obstacles. Techno's stomach swoops dreadfully, feeling a bit like his organs are being smashed against his ribcage. It's better when Phil starts gliding though, only the occasional flap to make sure they don't descend too low making Techno's head spin.
He still closes his eyes, trying to smother his rapid little inhales in Phil's shoulder.
Techno can feel the man shift a bit, to allow one hand to cradle the back of Techno's hair and weave his fingers into it, trying to distract him. It doesn't really work, but the intention is appreciated.
The entire flight only lasts ten minutes or so, probably lengthened slightly by Phil flying slower than he normally would to minimize any sudden jolts that would freak Techno out. When they touch down on the ground, Techno stands on wobbly knees that refuse to lock up properly. That's probably why Phil doesn't let go right away.
"It's just beyond those trees," Phil says. "But I'm assuming you know that."
"Not really," Techno answers. At Phil's curious look, he feels forced to elaborate. "I didn't leave the warren a lot."
Phil hums absently, finally letting go to type a few things on his communicator. A couple of seconds later, Scott materializes next to them in a burst of pink and purple particles.
Techno is kind of jealous. Teleportation must be handy.
"You ready?" Phil asks after they've exchanged some words. Techno wasn't really paying attention, staring at the forest around him as if it would offer even a smidge of recognition if he tried hard enough.
Phil's hand on his shoulder actually makes him jump. But then he nods.
"It's right up here," Scott says. He goes ahead of them, the starlight cape trailing behind him. Techno finds himself staring at it, focusing on its movements. "I was here earlier to make sure the coast was clear."
Techno hadn't even really considered the possibility of there still being hunters around, it has been so long. He barely knows what to expect as they crest the hills and make their way through the underbrush.
He couldn't have prepared himself for this sight either way.
It's… underwhelming.
There's really not much more to see than a slight unevenness to the landscape and some upturned earth where the entrances to burrows were. And Techno can't be surprised since that's the entire point. Rabbit hybrids like to live in secluded communities, undisturbed by others. The warren being hard to spot from a distance is kind of the entire point.
Still, he feels like a place that meant so much to him once should leave a bigger mark behind.
As if everything inside him is not reflected in what he sees, just some dirt and grass and peacefulness that makes him want to scream his lungs out. Almost a year has passed, yet it still doesn't seem right that the world could have just… went on without acknowledging what happened here?
Phil's hand is on his shoulder again, a solid presence. "Do you want to go inside?"
Techno shakes his head, words too overwhelming for him to even think of trying to formulate a sentence right now.
"Do you just want to stay out here a while?"
A nod. Techno pulls the cloak firmer around him, squeezing it between his fingers. Thunder rumbles in the distance, the sound muffled through layers of atmosphere but Techno can feel it trailing down his spine.
He used to live here. He used to play in that grass and sleep in these burrows. He was born here, and raised here, and almost died here.
And it's nothing. It looks like absolutely nothing.
Phil slowly starts brushing his fingers through Techno's hair again, a low cooing sound building in his chest. It doesn't do anything for Techno. He's not an elytrian.
He leans into Phil's side anyway and doesn't cry.
Scott walks over to the field. Starlight seems to fall from his very being and in every single footstep of his, flowers bloom. They're small and round, with tuffs of color on them. They're pretty. They remind Techno of the valley where the commune is.
When Scott gets to the other edge of the warren he bends down and picks up something from the grass.
"Is there anything you want to say?" Phil asks.
Techno doesn't know. He feels like he should say something, he's the last one left who can speak any words for his family.
But it all feels so useless.
"I want to go home," he says instead.
And Phil smiles as he picks Techno up again. Techno isn't even embarrassed by how he clings to Phil's coat this time. "Yeah, we can go home."
"Here." Scott has approached again. He's holding out what he picked up from the ground, a small beaded bracelet.
Techno realizes it must have belonged to one of the warren - maybe even a family member of his. He just wouldn't be able to tell who.
He sticks out his arm and allows Scott to slide it onto his wrist. Only then does Techno dry his tears by rubbing his face into Phil's shoulder.