The Changing Lights of the Rainbow

Chapter 6

They stayed at the apartment they had rented for the first half of the school year. John thought it best that the boys got a steady start to school. At Christmas break they moved. Sam wasn't very happy about moving. He liked his school and had made lots of friends. But, Dean didn't seem to care one way or another.

Dad promised they would start at a new school after the holiday break. Dean hoped Dad would forget, but knew Sammy would never let him. Dean hadn't made any friends anyhow, so he didn't mind leaving town. Besides, its not like they ever stayed in one place too long, and he had gotten used to that way of living.

They stopped to visit Bobby before settling into their new town. Sammy couldn't stop talking about how much he loved school and telling Bobby all about everything he learned. He gleamed with pride in himself when he talked about how he was the smartest kid in his class and how much all the kids loved being his friend.

"And what do you think about school?" Bobby had to interrupt Sam in order to question Dean about his experience.

Dean just shrugged. "It's all right, I guess." That's the only thing he could come up with. He couldn't tell him how much he hated it. How much he wished life could go back to the way it was, without having to spend his days in the classroom. Besides, he was never good at book stuff, he was more of the hands-on learner. He could learn how to fix a car and shoot a gun just by watching someone do it, but his mind would wander too much when he sat in front of the pages in a book.

They headed out of town after spending the night at Bobby's. It was just a pit stop, because the drive was so long. John had rented a motel room, but it looked to Dean like one of the run-down apartments they had lived in before. Really, they all pretty much looked alike. John left on his hunting trip. Told the boys he'd try to be back by Christmas day. Not that it mattered much, they weren't big on celebrating the holidays or birthdays. Hunting took too much concentration, John couldn't worry about the little things like that.

Dean was given his regular instructions. Salt lines, locks locked, don't leave the room, and look after Sammy. If he wasn't back by the day before school started to call Bobby, he'd try to be back on Christmas day, even if he had to leave immediately after, but couldn't make any guarantees. Dean answered with a "yes sir" and settled in for a long couple of weeks cooped up in the room with his little brother.

Sam had started getting annoying. Sure, Dean still loved him, and would protect him with his life, but the kid wouldn't stop talking about school. He loved it and talked about it nonstop. Dean just wanted to forget. He hoped the new school was better than the last one. The kids picked on him because he was so quiet. They laughed at him because he would rush to the kindergarten classrooms as soon as school was out. They called him a baby and said he wanted to be in kindergarten again. He just ignored them. He had more important things to do, like take care of his little brother. On the playground, he never played with anyone. He would sit in the corner and keep a watch over his surroundings, making sure everything looked safe for when Sam came out to play.

It was Christmas Eve. Just another day for Dean, but Sam wouldn't stop asking about Dad.

"Dad's gonna be here, right?"

"He'll be here"

"It's Christmas"

"He knows, and he'll be here, I promise"

"Where is he anyway?"

"On business"

"What kind of business?"

"You know that, he sells stuff"

"What kind of stuff?"

His mind had taken on a whole new life of its own. He seemed to ask way too many questions. He said it was because that's what you were supposed to do in school. But, in the hunting life, questions weren't always a good thing, and right now, Dean didn't want to listen to his brother ask about one more thing.

"Stuff"

"No body ever tells me anything"

"Then, quit asking"

Dean tried to walk away, tried to make Sam stop asking him things, but in the small motel room that wasn't an easy thing to do.

"Is Dad a spy?"

"Mmhmm, he's James Bond"

"Why do we move around so much?"

Why couldn't he just stop asking so many questions? Why couldn't he accept life the way it was, the way Dean did.

"Because everywhere we go, they get sick of your face."

He hoped that would shut him up. He hoped that would give his brother a hint that he was tired of listening to him, he just wanted some peace and quiet.

"I'm old enough, Dean. You can tell me the truth."

When did he start thinking he was old? In Dean's eyes he was still his baby brother, and nothing was going to change that. He still needed to protect him, protect him from the truth about what was really out there.

"You don't wanna know the truth, believe me"

"Is that why we never talk about…mom?"

Sam didn't know her, he was just a baby when she died, but he was always curious, loved hearing what few stories he got to hear about her. But, in his heart, she wasn't his mom, he never knew her. He didn't know what she was really like.

That got Dean upset. He was already getting tired of his brother running his mouth, and now he had to mention HER.

"SHUT UP! Don't you ever talk about Mom, EVER!"

Sam had never seen his brother so angry. It scared him. The way Dad scares him when he gets mad and yells. But, Dean didn't stick around long enough to notice, or care. He grabbed his coat and slammed the door behind him. He didn't want to have this stupid conversation to begin with, but his annoying little brother wouldn't let it go.

When Dean returned, Sam continued with his questions, that kid was persistent, Dean had to give him that, no matter how much it annoyed him. When Sam pulled out their dad's journal, asking if monsters were real, Dean was shocked, and upset.

"Where did you get that? That's Dad's. He's gonna kick your ass for reading it"

"Is it real? Are monsters real?"

Dean tried hard to make Dad sound like a superhero. To Dean, he was. He told Sam how awesome of a dad he was. Sam went to bed in tears that night. Dean had wished his dad was there, he needed him, needed his help right now. But, like always, he was alone, handling adult things with his brother.

Dad never showed. Dean tried to make Sam believe he did, but when the gifts he had stolen were girl's toys, he failed at making Sam believe. Sure, it upset him, but Dean was there, he tried to make it good for him. He even got a little tree and put a string of lights on it.

Sam gave Dean the gift Uncle Bobby gave to him. It was supposed to be for Dad. When they stopped at his house for the night, he asked Bobby about a gift for his dad, and Bobby told him that necklace was real special, and had special powers. He was sure John would like it.

But, now it belonged to Dean. Sam explained to Bobby what had happened, the reason Dean had it and not his dad. He hoped Bobby wouldn't get too upset. He didn't. In fact, he seemed almost happy that Dean had gotten it as a gift from his little brother. Dean seemed to wear it with pride. No matter what, it never came off. He would protect it as much as he protected Sammy.

He knew he couldn't tell the kids at his new school what he had learned over Christmas break. It had to remain a secret. Dad was furious when he found out Sam knew. But, Sam had stolen Dad's journal, and read it, so there wasn't any way of hiding the truth from him. And, Dean was still young himself, without Dad there, he wasn't sure what else to do.

John tried not to punish his boys, but sometimes he didn't have a choice. The fact that Dean had broken the first rule of hunting, even if it was only his brother that he told, he had to learn not to do it again. With a heavy heart, John pulled his belt from his pants. There had only been a couple times he could ever remember having to punish his boys before, and each time it shattered him to have to do it.

"Over my knee, boy"

"Dddad, please! It was only Sammy. He's part of the family. He already knew, he read it, I didn't think he counted as someone not to tell"

"I said over my knee"

Dean did as he was told, his pants pulled just below this backside. He winced with each strike of the belt, but he refused to let the tears fall. He was stronger than that. And, if he had done something wrong, then he deserved the punishment. John had lost count. He was sure he had spanked the boy more times than he planned to. But, it had been a long hunt. He watched as another hunter get killed by the creature they were after. His mind was preoccupied. He didn't expect to come home and have to deal with this.

"Dad" Sam spoke up, "don't you think that's enough?" Sam had tears pricking his little eyes.

John was pulled from his thoughts by his son's words, realizing he was still spanking his oldest son. The belt left marks that were red and bleeding. There were whelps that he was sure would take weeks to heal.

"Go to your bed" he directed the command at Dean as he pushed him off his lap, then looked up at Sam as Dean pulled his pants back around his waist, "both of you" he added.

Dean didn't hesitate. He wanted to crawl somewhere and hide. His bottom was stinging in pain, the pants didn't help any. Him and Sam both made their way to the bed they shared.

"You okay?" Sam whispered

"Yeah, I'm fine, no thanks to you" Dean wasn't sure why he was so mad at Sam, it wasn't his fault, he was just a kid, he was curious.

Dean laid on his stomach for a few minutes before deciding to make his way to the bathroom. He needed to remove his jeans and put on his pajama bottoms. They wouldn't hurt so much. When he made his way out of the room, he found his dad sitting on the same spot on the couch, his head was in his hands. Elbows resting on his knees.

Dean carefully made his way to his dad's side. He placed a hand on his shoulder, "It'll be okay, Dad"

John wiped his eyes and looked up at his son. Dean gave his dad a small grin, and tightened his grip on his shoulder. That was as close to a comforting hug the Winchesters gave. John returned the grin. "Go on to bed, it's been a long day, and you're starting a new school tomorrow."

"Yes sir" Dean made his way back to his bed. He made sure Sam was tucked in.

"Night Dean"

"Night Sammy"

Before Dean was even able to find a comfortable position his little brother's soft snores filled the silence of the room.

Dean's stomach was in knots again. The thought of starting a new school didn't settle so well with him. He would take all the punishment Dad wanted to give, as long as he didn't have to go to school. But, that's what Dad wanted, and he wouldn't dare disobey, or show his weakness.

"I've got another hunt, gonna leave after I get you boys signed into school."

John was making his way to his bed, he knew Dean was still awake, actually the kid always seemed to be awake. He was the last to fall asleep and the first to wake up. He had a natural, or unnatural depending how you looked at it, drive to protect.

"How long are you going to be gone?"

"Not sure, this hunt didn't go as planned, a lot of bad things went down, gotta meet with some other hunters and fix what went wrong. It might be awhile this time. I'll stop by the store before I head out of town, and leave you some emergency money, just in case."

"Yes sir" Just for once, Dean wished his dad would stick around. He wanted to talk to him, tell him how much he hated school, how hard it was to take care of Sammy. He wanted to ask for his help after school. He would have to help Sam with his homework, do his own homework, fix supper, make sure they both had baths and clean clothes, and get his brother to bed in time to get a full night's sleep. It was exhausting.

As much as Dean wanted to say these things to his dad, even if he would stay around long enough, he knew he never would. He knew he would never complain, never say a negative word about the life they lived. He had come to accept it. His dad's snores filled the room, joining with Sam's.

After laying in bed for what felt like a lifetime, he couldn't handle the knotting of his stomach any longer and made his way to the bathroom. After emptying the contents of his stomach, it seemed to settle enough that he was finally able to get some sleep, all though, he was not excited about waking up in the morning, not excited about going back to school. But, he would go without complaint.