Shiori's pillow was hard and cold. She felt it gently. It was hard and cold because it wasn't a pillow, but a desktop. It felt like her cheek was glued to the wood, but she didn't want to even start to guess with what. The events of the previous week oozed slowly through the dirty gauze of memory. The most important was the slightly crouched figure of the man the reborn woman despised with unbridled passion. Danzo was the main catalyst for almost all her problems.

Firstly, highly specialized research equipment or rather the lack of it. She would have had to be a brainless, drooling zombie to believe that those test results Orochimaru was always analyzing have been done in one of the Research Department laboratories. The building was small, neglected and suffered from a serious lack of financial and human resources. The Ninja government didn't support the funding of research on how and why things worked. It's enough to know how to destroy them. So, the girl's mentor had to have other laboratories, far more advanced and backed by a mountain of money. Hidden Villages not without a reason controlled financial income of their shinobi. Money meant power, and too much power in one's hands (especially if those hands belonged to a strong ninja) was dangerous. The Villages earned a fortune, soldiers responsible for this had to settle for scraps.

Secondly, every test on living creatures was performed on humans and what was the worst it wasn't out of necessity or truly evil intentions but from pure ignorance. No one in this world knew they could use other mammals! Shiori wanted to smack her head in the previously mentioned desktop just thinking about it.

Her last big problem was Orochimaru's study over cell implementation. He told her it was for medical purposes – and sure, it could be, but she had the nagging feeling that because of it the snake sannin had to leave the Village. Having someone like him on her site would make everything far easier. Fuck, if she only could remember.

The reborn woman couldn't approach this situation realistically without going mad. She had to worry about it if she wanted to by fully dedicated to rescuing her own sorry ass. And worrying about all this shit was like opening a can of ham in the middle of a swarm of piranhas.

With her sleeve the girl wiped her golden eyes, moist from frustration and lack of sleep.

"What's wrong with you?"

She nearly fell from the chair and five pillows on which she had to sit to reach the desk. It was a long way down.

"Don't scare me like that, Orochimaru-sama. And besides the fact that I almost had a heart attack everything is ok."

The man glanced at her over the table full of tubes and reagents, then snorted. In this one snort a mocking smile sounded far too clearly.

"So running all snotty and crying to Namikaze for a hug in the middle of the night is alright?"

Shiori froze. How in the name of the magnificent Flying Spaghetti Monster did he know that? Had Danzo put her under surveillance? Was there some ANBU guy going all Edward Cullen on her when she slept? The reborn woman hoped it wasn't true. Humans were defined by what they hate. There were many things she hated. Twilight was almost at the top of the list, just behind tea and people's stupidity.

"But how…?"

"Minato told me, how else?" He mumbled and stirred a flask with violet substance; probably something with manganese.

"You two talk?" She didn't know what was more surprising; the fact Minato came to Orochimaru from his own free will or that the dark haired Sannin actually admitted it.

"I'm scrutinized because of you; better appreciate it." Shiori was sure he meant not only her caretakers. "Besides, they told me to observe you because of these incidents. They think you're going through delayed nervous breakdown."

If his previous snort had a mocking smile in it, that one was hosting a full-fledged laugh.

"I've seen my family and friends die. My home, my whole world collapsed before my eyes. I have every right to be traumatized; even an adult would be affected and I'm a child."

"Well, and that's bullshit if I've ever heard one. We both know you're too smart to do these… sentiments." His sneer indicated that he was speaking at least about bestiality or other similar deviations. "You aren't affected by the past things you have no power to change. You are afraid of the future. The only question is why?" In his cold, yellow eyes was no room for pity, it wasn't a quality aiding survival. Sometimes, however, he could risk a little gentleness. "What scares you so, child?"

At first, Shiori didn't even speak. She only felt that her jaw dropped, and some small areas of her brain melted together. What could she tell him? What should she tell him? She settled on some small half-truths and bunch of farfetched but not impossible probabilities.

"I fear for Kushina and Minato; Konoha is at war and if they die I would be left alone without a place to stay. There would be no one to cook for me and do laundry; not to mention pay bills. I'm also worried about you. That bandaged guy was bad news. Grandmother said that if a bastard from Konoha, calling himself Shimura, would ever be interested in me I must tell her and she will kill him. He's interested in you and Yori oba-sama is dead. There's no one who can deal with him for us. I know you're super strong, Orochimaru-sama, but he has powerful political sway; that's two totally different things. He'll use you and later get rid of you; then who will help me stop the boredom? Not counting you, they're all idiots."

At the end Shiori was out of breath but she was pleased with herself. Just an appropriate amount of truth overshadowed by a large dose of self-interest and a pinch of praise as the icing on the cake.

"In other words, you're worrying about losing roof over your head, delicious meals, free labor and gaining overwhelming boredom?" A firm nod answered him. "Shiori-chan, go home and sleep." He offered with a tone of a man who tried to persuade future suicide to leave a window sill.

The girl nodded once more and jumped off the stool. Her nonexistent innate grace and lack of sleep made themselves known; the little legs buckled under her and met with the hard floor. Fat tears started to run down her cheeks and trembling chin.

"You awful klutz," muttered the Sannin coldly. Evidently having already used the daily dose of human emotions.

Sadly, Shiori could only acknowledge it. She mumbled a goodbye and limped outside. The girl knew she should ask someone to walk her home, but she needed to be alone for a moment. She slipped into the crowd outside the Research Facility and walked with the enormous swell of humans, since when they moved she also had to. She was like a tiny, red smurf; if her feet failed to keep up she risked being trampled underfoot. The laboratories were close to the hospital and in a time of war the area was crowded. There was nothing for it but to move with the mass, trying to stir in the right direction.

The rest of the way home Shiori survived in automatic mode. At the moment she wasn't able to think of anything. Once she tried, the thoughts diverged immediately. And as always, when the world went overboard, they ran in other places. For example, when she tried to open the closed door to the apartment, her brain was trying to remember the recipe for a pizza. If only Kushina was home, the girl was sure together they could cook something similar. Unfortunately, the woman was out and the younger redhead was alone with no means of communication.

She should wait for her or Minato but the reborn woman had one, new big problem. She was hungry. Nevertheless, she couldn't go back to Orochimaru. Not only would he know she went alone, but her knee ached and bled. She hated pain. Why couldn't Danzo's spy be so nice and let her in? She wouldn't tell a single soul.

Resigned, the girl slid down the wall and being careful with the wounded leg pulled a small scroll from out of her bag. She opened it and slowly ran a finger along the symbols. She should have made a seal akin to a pager, then she wouldn't be sitting on the ground like some stray. Or they could make her a key.

The five-year old suddenly noticed that the rays of the sun were obscured by something big.

"Are you alright… Why are you crying?"

Shiori blinked. She didn't even know she was doing it. The girl wiped her glassy eyes and pulled an impressive snot back up into her nose.

"I'm in pain, hungry and on my own." She wanted to ask him if he had anything to eat, when it dawned on her with whom she was speaking. The shiny bowl haircut, thick eyebrows and trademark green jumpsuit - before her stood none other than Might Guy. She knew what she had to do.

She burst into tears again.

"Ku- Ku- Kushina-nee-chan and Mini-nii aren't home and I don't have a key!"

The boy panicked seeing the waterfall of tears.

"Hey, don't' cry. Such beautiful Konoha's little flower shouldn't cry. We'll find your Mini-nii… wait!" Guy eyed the building the child wanted to enter. "By Mini-nii you mean Minato sensei?"

"You know Mini-nii?"

"Of course, I'm the eternal rival of one of his students, Konoha's green beast, Might Guy – nice to meet you!" His shiny smile and thumbs up was sincere like never before. Seeing that, the small redhead stopped crying and rewarded him with a toothless grin.

"Hello, I'm Uzumaki Shiori, age five. It's nice to meet you. Do you have anything to eat?"

Ω

Finding his eternal rival was hard. He wasn't in his usual spots, expertly concealing every trace he could leave. Guy wasn't someone who'd give up easily, especially since he wasn't looking for Kakashi to keep the flame of their youthful rivalry. He was doing it for the little red flower, currently sitting on his back, eating her ninth portion of dango. The young chunin sadly patted his pocket, where he kept his wallet - now almost empty wallet – but smiled none the less. He was helping the young, innocent maiden; what could be better to prove his youthfulness than that?

"Who you kidnapped this time, Guy-san?" sounded Ebisu's stern voice.

Guy's two teammates were standing with their sensei in the entry to Akimichi's grocery.

"It isn't kidnapping. I'm on a mission to help this blossoming beauty to find team seven."

The three new males critically inspected the small head full of rosy locks emerging from behind the always excited boy. She didn't look panicked, happily munching the sweets.

"Then where did you find the kid?" Inquired Genma.

"On the street."

"And you decided to take her just like that?"

"Shouldn't I?"

Shiori stopped listening to their conversation long ago, focusing on the smell wafting from the shop. It couldn't be true. After so many years she lost hope, but here it was – a miracle.

She sniffed the air like a dog and forcefully tugged Guy's thick mane, slightly bouncing.

"Guy-san, foooooward, yupi-yup!"

The rest of Team Choza watched in disbelief how the boy, as befits a decent mount, walked around them according to the command of his tiny rider, who turned her large golden pools to the only adult in their group.

"Excuse me, sir, but what is this smell?"

"The smell?" the large man inhaled the air and chuckled. "You had a fine nose, little one. It's a new kind of beans from Grass Country. It's used to make a special beverage."

Shiori wanted to celebrate, sing praises to the heavens and dance naked in the middle of the street. She managed to find coffee. Her life made sense again!

"OK! Now we can continue our youthful journey in search of Minato sensei!" Shouted the green beast, grabbing two other boys and running in the other direction.

"But, but MY DRINK!"

"Don't worry little one, you can come back with Minato any day!" Shouted the huge man, waving her goodbye.

Akimichi Choza smiled broadly seeing the determined gleam in the child's eyes; he would be seeing her again – probably today. The new Uzumaki was really similar to Kushina in a matter of her favorite food. Minato was a poor man.

Ω

Guy wasn't stupid. Turning a blind eye on his peculiar style, he was kind, honest, straightforward and honorable in all his actions. In the world of shinobi these qualities were classified as symptoms of stupidity and provided him with an anticipated life span of a jellyfish in the blast furnace. But the reborn woman knew better. The odd teenager was on his way to becoming one of the strongest shinobi. He could be a precious ally, so their acquaintance was worth a little more craziness in her already abnormal life.

Now, they were going to the training ground thirty-six. According to Genma, who gained the information from the girl in the mission assignment office, Minato's team was tasked with clearing that area. Even before entering in the main clearing it was obvious the info was correct.

"How, on the First Hokage panties, you want to be a jonin, when you're out of chakra after a few small jutsus?"

"Just shut up, Obito. You always can do it yourself. Oh, I forgot, you have only one chakra nature."

Kakashi was sitting on the ground with Rin trying to replenish his chakra, while the young Uchiha was standing over them with a smug expression. Far more interesting were their surroundings. The field was full of gigantic rocks, towering proudly over everything else.

"Hello to you, my eternal rival and his team!" Their presence couldn't go unnoticed with Guy's hyperactive personality.

Kakashi's arms sank hearing his self-proclaimed eternal rival. And he thought this day couldn't be worse.

"Shiori-chan? What are you doing here?" asked Uchiha.

The silver haired boy groaned. Today was officially one of the worst days in his life. Even worse than when Pakkun ate chocolate and vomited for the next six hours, mainly into his sandals.

"I'm looking for Mini-nii."

"But why are you with Guy-san and his team?" Rin wanted to take the child from the boy, but the small redhead was holding him like a vise. She clearly liked him. It was highly suspicious.

"I found her crying by Minato sensei's door."

"You were alone?" the kunoichi couldn't fathom that, especially considering Kushina's overprotective streak.

"Yes, but it doesn't matter. Guy-san rescued me. And he fed me!" As in prize she patted his hair. "Now I must know where is Mini-nii. I need him."

"Sensei told us he'll be back when we'll get rid of these rocks." Explained Rin.

"And because Kakashi has tiny chakra resources, this will take forever." Added Obito with ultimate faith in his knowledge.

"Worry no more. We're going to help you." Offered Guy, handing the redhead to the Uchiha and heading for the nearest rock.

"Guy, don't offer your help without asking us." Pleaded the senbon wielder without any conviction. It was way too obvious this was daily occurrence.

"Without earth ninjutsu you won't do a thing. They're too heavy."

"Nothing is too heavy for the power of youth, my eternal rival. I'll move it or do two hundred laps on my arms around the Village!"

Guy was sweating and groaning, but no amount of muscle made the boulder to even flinch. Shiori had enough of this. Her mental wellbeing demanded coffee, so she needed the blond man and it meant these freaking stones had to be gone, instantly!

"Can't you blow them up into smaller pieces?"

"Sure," answered Obito. "But with what?"

Shiori shot him a glance worth of highly irritated cow.

"Exploding tags are expensive. Kakashi has a few, but we would need far more than that."

"Rin-chan is right, besides, standard tags aren't powerful enough to deal with these boulders."

Shiori listened to the young Uchiha's explanation and prayed for patience.

"Any of you have a seal paper?"

"I have some blank tags." Offered Genma.

"You're learning fuinjutsu?" Rin was impressed. Even Kakashi had too much trouble with sealing to want to learn it.

"Genma-san is great in it." Confirmed Ebisu, proudly shifting his glasses as if it was his own achievement.

"I still have all my fingers if it's counts."

Shiori marched to him and held out her hands.

"Gimme."

Every pair of eyes anchored their attention on her short form. Shiori would face palm if she had one more hand. All this drama was unnecessary.

"Are you kidding me? These things aren't for children."

"I don't believe I'm saying it but I'm with Kakashi." Anounced Obito. "Kushina-san would kill us if she knew we give you things that can go boom."

"I can handle it."

Kakashi sneered.

"You're a winy, spoiled brat. Can you even write and read?"

Shiori saw red, quite matching considering that her face was as red as her hair. Had he just called her illiterate?

"You brain-dead, retarded waste of space! Forget I have been nice to you or wanted to help. And if you ever would want your toys back I'll bite you!" The girl finished her lightly slurred toothless outburst with a loud hmpf and walked away from them.

When she sat under a tree something particular happened. The scroll she took out from her bag puffed, revealing a notebook in with the girl started to write, trying to tame her anger. It was a rather fruitless effort.

"Has she just summoned something?" Asked Ebisu flabbergasted.

Rin didn't like the girl, mainly because she was still hurt after her previous rant, but seeing her tiny form sulking, remained her Shiori was nothing more than a child. She wanted to apologize for Kakashi but Obito was faster.

"Ne, Shi-chan, don't worry about the bastard. We both know you're smarter than him." The boy slumped next to the angry Uzumaki. "And what toys? Is he still playing with them?"

"I'm not!"

"He isn't," confirmed the girl coldly. "But he's an idiot. I cleaned his old plushies and he didn't even thank me."

"You mean old, stuffed dogs? Few days back I saw Kushina-san washing them." Interrupted the medical kunoichi.

Shiori's face red with anger, turned red in embarrassment. Nevertheless, the color hasn't changed much.

"I told her to do that," she mumbled and tore a sheet out of the notebook. "One done".

"Wait, this is an exploding tag!"

"Brilliant observation, Rin-san," her words almost reeked of sarcasm. "The only convenient alternative is making storage scrolls, but as spice-time fuinjutsu they're more complicated and time-consuming."

"So you have your own paper." Senbon in Genma's mouth twitched.

"Yes, but I don't see why I should use mine when I can take yours?" She yearned a coffee far too much to worry about some stupid facades. She threw the tag to Obito. "Go and stick it to that small rock."

The boy took it delicately in two fingers as if the paper would instantly cremate him when handled roughly.

"You can't seriously think it'll work?"

"Yeah, then take it." Obito was more than happy to give it away.

Kakashi took the paper and stuck it to the indicated stone; anxious to end this farce.

"Even if it'll work, Shiori-chan, I don't understand why use it on the small rock?" Asked Guy. "I can take care of that one without a problem."

"This is only a test. The stone has about ten inches in each direction. Combining the measurements with this tag's force I'll be able to calculate how powerful I have to make the next ones to blow up the bigger stones. Of course it'll be correct assuming their solidity is the same."

Kakashi blinked. He was used to the vision of spoiled, whimsical Shiori. Her clever version threw him out of balance like an attack from a predatory piglet.

After the flash of light and loud explosion as a result of which the stone broke up into several parts, Kakashi was sure his brain was knocked out by a whole flock of exceptionally bloodthirsty piglets.

Ω

Minato looked at a tired but no less brilliant smile visable on Shiori's face. An hour before, when he returned to his team and found far more kids than he had left behind, he was puzzled. Seeing them happily blowing up granite rocks while being led by his little girl, gave him a seizure of the size of Hokage's Mountain.

All the kids were excited; in the end, despise being ninjas, not every day they had the opportunity to toy with exploding tags. Very potent, unauthorized exploding tags made by a five-year-old adorable pintsize devil, that on the brink of collapsing from chakra exhaustion was teaching Genma how to wipe out his nearest surroundings in a second.

"See here? Activating the key in the core turns the chakra from neutral to the fire nature, seeking to further balance the chain. That, in combination with the air seal in the second layer, leads to the power phase of the collision - vapor cloud's ignition, what is followed by the positive feedback. In other words, the energy released as heat increases the rate of chakra circulation on the chain's loop path, further rising the amount of released energy."

The moment she ended her lecture and finished the last brush stroke, Obito grabbed the new tag and laughing like a maniac ran to the nearest boulder, sticking it with the explosive, before diving behind the mud barricade Kakashi made for their protection.

Five teenage heads carefully leaned out. Each of them with a pair of goggle, not unlike the one the man has always seen on the forehead of the still snickering Uchiha. Then the countdown started. Minato couldn't believe it, but his ears stubbornly tried to convince him, that in the chorus of youthful voices one belonged to Kakashi. When the excited one sounded, a blinding flash came from the point where the tag was and a white cloud rose in the air.

"The next one is mine," roared Guy jumping from their cover.

"I think it's enough." The blond jonin butted in and in the next moment he had hands full of a bit of a shaky little lady.

"Mini-nii, you're late."

Sometimes, he wondered if the female part of the Uzumak clan had some special dojutsu. He could swear that the glare he was currently receiving made him feel guilty, even when he knew he wasn't the one in trouble.

"Maybe I'm a little late, but you're somewhere you shouldn't be at all. Why?"

Damn this angelic face, she thought trying not to sink into naughty thoughts, again. Minato was sexy as hell when he had this commanding, stern vibe. She needed distraction and misdirection.

"Because you didn't give me a key to our home! Its good Guy-san found me, other way I would be alone in the street the whole day."

Minato wanted to say something more but Obito interrupted him.

"Can we have her on the team? She's really useful; like a pocket demolition squad. Have you seen our explosives, sensei? I did wuu, and then was boom and the BANG! It was awesome!"

"Yeees, I've seen it." Shiori gulped. That smirk and cold gleam in his blue eyes couldn't mean anything good. "Just how I've seen six chunins letting a five-year-old child make an extremely destructive weapon, and used it without necessary percussion and supervision."

"But we had goggles and everythi…" Obito's protests died when he and Kakashi found themselves in a strong, one-handed headlock.

"Anyone else has anything to say?"

"I'm hungry."

And because of Shiori's bottomless pit and the fact that he was a hopeless sucker for those golden eyes, all of them were sitting at the table on the back of Akimichi's store, eating dinner and waiting for the odd beverage the small Uzumaki was very adamant about (Shiori told him if she didn't get it, she would tell Kushina everything; especially the part where he wasn't with his team as he should, because of with she could end as a pile of ash).

The oddest thing was the content atmosphere. Minato made his team to pay for everything, but his brain wasn't boiling and ears didn't want to grow legs and run from uncontainable racket of his students. Rin was - as always – calm, chatting quietly with Genma and Ebisu, while Kakashi was TALKING with Obito. They were allied against Guy, who tried to bribe Shiori to join his team, however now for both boys Shiori was an integral, albeit unofficial part of team seven, because even though she could be insolent like a little troll, she was able to make things go BUM, and that was more important than anything else. There was no yelling, biting, punching, threatening and name-calling or other word-creating efforts. Maybe part of it was thanks to Shiori sitting on Uchiha's lap, but the two boys seemed to honestly come along. To think everything his pupils needed to create a friendly bond was a life-threatening fun with explosive materials.

Meanwhile Shiori became fully aware that she never before realized how tiring the exhaustion could be. Creating so much explosive tags at once was a stupid idea, even if it was a step toward her dreamed coffee. The idea turned out to be rather counterproductive, since when Choza brought a jug filled with liquid miracle the girl was already happily snoring.

My dear readers, tons of thanks and e-hugs for your feedback, and as always the biggest hug for mrsmiawallace88, my lovely beta.