I felt angry. I tried to stand on my feet, but I couldn't. I had no idea whether it was the boiling of my blood, or the adrenaline rushing through my veins that cause the ringing in my ears. They couldn't just take us like we were an infestation that needed to be vanquished. I wouldn't stand for it.
"No. No! They're taking everybody. They've taken my Puddin'. I can't live without my Puddin'," Harley exclaimed.
I have no idea why or how Harley had even grown accustomed to the Joker in the first place. It was clear he wasn't a boyfriend anyone in their right mind would want to have. Then again, Harley wasn't in her right mind, at least, not after she was pushed into a vat of chemicals by the Joker.
I knew how hard Harley tried to forget that part of her past. She even went as far as to fabricate the lie by saying it was her own choice to jump, and that her "Puddin' " jumped in after her before their lips met in a passionate kiss. Yet, these were only her delusions.
That was the story Harley told anyone who asked. She didn't have a clue that I knew the truth. I had discovered only a few short months after I met her.
She had been bruised and beaten again. She was far beyond her breaking point, but never did she do anything drastic until that one day.
Knock knock knock!
By now Ivy knew it was Harley Quinn, one of the few people who ever visited Ivy anymore. She'd long since given up hope that once the door was opened, Harley wouldn't be covered head to toe in bruises, but still, every damn time Ivy hoped it would be true, it never was.
"Oh, Harls" Ivy rushed over to the poor girl.
You would've thought she'd fallen down three flights off stairs by the looks of it. Her costume was torn and frayed in various spots, while the visible parts of her body were battered black blue and purple.
Her ribcage had a huge purple spot leading to her midriff, where other bruises had settled. Harley's shoulders were bruised as well as her arms and legs. Her lip was busted open, and a new tattoo was added to her shoulder. Property of Joker was written around a skull wearing a jester's hat.
Ivy bent down. "What the hell is this Harls?!" Ivy couldn't believe how Harley could want a tattoo that marks her as property to anyone, let alone anyone as sinister as the Joker.
Harley didn't answer for a while. She simply didn't have the words.
"He said letting him do this to me wasn't enough anymore. So I got this tattoo. To remind him that I'm his."
"Why the hell would you-"
"Because I love him," Harley had stated.
Neither one of the girls were sure that was true anymore. Harley was afraid of him, and she didn't think there was any way out of the mess that was her life. She didn't know that she could come to Ivy any time that she needed, instead of only when he beat Harley.
"He sure as hell doesn't love you, Harls. So why do you go back to him? Every god damn time you go back to him!" Ivy was beyond angry.
"You wouldn't understand. You've never been in love."
"You're right Harley. I could never honestly truly understand why you'd want to go back to a twisted conniving man who beats you for no good reason at all! I've been in love once. And it ended horribly. I'm lucky to be alive. Hell, the reason I'm still alive is that I had enough sense to take a step back and look at my life. But you and the Joker? Your love for each other is toxic! Why can't you see that!" Ivy didn't mean to shout, but the Joker had taken it too far this time.
Harley sighed and turned away, not wanting to cry in front of Ivy. It was hard being in a one-sided relationship, but Harley didn't want to admit it to herself. She knew if she stayed strong, and if she kept on trying, there would be a day where Harley got to see the true side of Joker. The hidden side than had locked itself away after Batman pushed him into the chemicals.
"Harls, please don't cry." Ivy reached out for Harley's shoulder.
"It's too late for that." Harley flinched under the delicate touch of Ivy's hand.
"Harley. Do you not see what the Joker is doing to you."
"He knows I can take it."
"If he knows you can take it, why hasn't he apologized. He hasn't even said sorry once. He's pushed you out of skyscrapers and helicopters, he's manipulated you from the beginning. He's a no good psychotic malevolent violent cruel horrendous-"
"Angel. . . my puddin's an angel, and you're not gonna tell me otherwise" Harley couldn't stop the words from pouring out of her mouth.
"You call a person who beats you for no reason an angel?"
"There is a reason. I'm just not good enough for him. Sometimes I forget to laugh at his jokes, sometimes I interrupt him while he's working, sometimes I'm an idiot, and the fact that I can't tell whether he's in a bad mood or not is reason enough. I should be able to know when my Puddin's mad or not, but the smile always throws me off." Harley's tears fell faster.
"Harley, you-"
"I don't need your advice if all yer gonna do is reprimand me. I'm outta here."
Harley ran out of the living room back into the pouring rain. She needed to forget the pain the present has bestowed upon her, but every time she looked to the future, all she saw was horror and fright, and when she looked towards her long-gone past, she couldn't help but feel sorrow and regret.
After ten minutes of walking through Arkham city, she walked into a place she hadn't visited before. Ivy's comfort and support were usually enough to keep her away from this place, that and the fear of making careless mistakes and earning more beatings from the Joker.
Harley opened the door and sniffed the crisp alcoholic air.
"Well well well, Harley Quinn. I expected ya here sooner. Domestic abuse and alcohol go hand in hand one way or another" The bartender's grainy voice bellowed.
Harley sighed. She had no idea her situation was that obvious.
"What'll it be?" He asked above the cheers of everyone and the booming music.
Harley took a seat and laid her head down on the counter, blue eyes meeting the brown of the bartender's.
"The strongest thing ya got"
. . .
After a few hours, Ivy began worrying. Harley surely hadn't gone back to the Joker's lair, and it was too late to hitch a taxi to anywhere. There weren't that many places Harley could've gone either. She usually came back soon after their arguments with a new potted flower, a tub of ice cream, and tears dripping down her face, apologizing and telling Ivy that she was the only good thing in the messed up psychotic world she lived in.
Those were the moments Ivy lived for. Not because it offered her a chance to snarkily tell Harley she told her so, but because Harley would long for Ivy's freakishly warm embrace at two a.m. in the middle of the movie they were currently watching, and Ivy would tighten her arms around the poor girl, mindful of her bruises, and they'd stay that way, falling asleep in each other's arms.
Ivy wished they could stay that way forever, but she always woke up alone, as Harley awoke in the middle of the night to sneak off to the Joker, time and time again. The worst part was how light of a sleeper Ivy was. Every night she'd wake to the movement of Harley trying to slip out of her grasp ever so quietly, as to not wake her up. Little did Harley know, Ivy woke up every night, listening to her parting words.
"I'm sorry, Red. If only I could live without my Mr. J. I'll probably be back sometime later in the week." Harley had once said, thinking Ivy was asleep.
Ivy wanted so badly to stop Harley every time she left, but no amount of persuasion could stop Harley from returning to the "Killer Clown" as Ivy called him, it would only shortly prolong the process, so every night she'd pretend to sleep as Harley ran back to the Joker.
Ivy didn't want to think about those lonely nights, she didn't want to be alone at all. So when Harley was yet to return, Ivy grabbed her things and started searching for the helpless girl.
After a thorough search of Arkham city, Ivy thought Harley was nowhere to be found. It was one a.m., maybe she did go back to the Joker after all. Ivy accepted defeat as she turned around to head back to her greenhouse, that is until she saw Harley through the bar's glass window.
Ivy burst inside and ran past the crowd straight to the girl. There were thirteen shot glasses beside her.
"Harley?" Ivy questioned.
"Oh-hiccup-hiya Red. It's about time you found me. What took you so-hic-long?" Harley slurred her words, which came out jumbled and incoherent.
"We need to get you out of here."
Harley stared at Ivy, expecting something to happen. Ivy grabbed Harley's hand and pulled her up, to which she stumbled and fell to the ground. She mumbled something in frustration, inaudible against the blasting music.
Ivy didn't have time for this. She didn't want to spend any more time here that she needed to. It was obvious she wouldn't be walking anytime soon. Ivy took the helpless girl and carried her in her arms, out of the bar and down the dark Arkham sidewalk.
Ivy walked in silence, other than the occasional hiccup or two from the blonde.
"Why'd ya do this Harls?" Ivy asked.
"Because I'm fucking sick of life." She said in a nonchalant tone.
Geez, that was harsh. Harley was never the one to curse or hate life. She was always so energetic and eccentric and innocent.
Harley put her arms around Ivy's neck as she cried into her shoulder.
"Have you ever loved someone you knew was wrong for you? Someone who hurt you over and over again but you could forgive them every time because losing them would hurt even more."
Yes. Ivy has loved someone like that. She learned from her mistakes, but not quickly enough. Not before the syringes and pills were administered. Not before the long nights of sleeplessness and even longer days of torment. Ivy sighed, as she turned her attention to Harley.
"That's what's happenin' to me and Mistah J. The first time I forgave him was after he pushed me into those chemicals. I don't see why they didn't add railings after Mistah J. was spawned because-"
"Wait, he pushed you? You said you jumped into it." Ivy stated.
"Yeh, well, I guess I told the story I wanted to be true. I never asked for my life to be taken away from me." Harley began to cry even harder.
"Do you ever miss it, being normal?" Ivy asked.
"Sometimes, on really sad days. But then I think about the good things that happened, like meeting you, then I cheer up" Harley explained, genuinely laughing through her tears as her whole demeanor drastically changed.
Poison Ivy thought for sure that her ears were deceiving her, but no, what she heard was in fact, real.
Harley's smile faltered as a tear escaped her eye. Ivy wiped away the tear, staring into Harley's eyes. Those baby blue orbs of hope were shining with tears waiting to fall.
"I'm tired of crying, Red."
"I know you are Harley, but you'll forget tonight as easily as you'll crawl back to the Joker."
"How do you know? You don't seem like the alcoholic type."
"Sadly, I was. That's a part of my past I'm trying to forget."
"Maybe. . . we could forget together."
"What do you mean by that?"
"I don't know anymore"
Harley was so broken. So vulnerable. Ivy always knew she was. The shattered world she was trapped in revealed itself to Ivy more and more each time Harley ran back to Ivy after Joker beat her, but this, this was full, and whole, and all at once. Ivy could feel the sorrow emanating from Harley.
Maybe it was the moment, or the time, or the atmosphere, something made Ivy realize that Harley wasn't going to ever change because she needed someone to help her. Harley needed someone to mend her broken pieces back together.
Ivy looked into her eyes, Harley's big, beautiful blue eyes; and she stared back at Ivy, with the same loving warmth as her. Ivy couldn't look away. She needed to look away because she couldn't stare into Harley's eyes without wanting to kiss her, but Ivy's eyes stood still. Harley smiled.
"You're too innocent for this world," Ivy whispered to Harley. "Never change."
Ivy continued walking, with Harley still in her arms. After a while, Harley's breathing steadied, and the soft sound of snoring arose.
Ivy glanced down towards the sleeping girl in her arms. A busted lip, scratches, and bruises all over could never change the way Ivy saw Harley. She was Ivy's cute little psycho.
. . .
Ivy arrived at her hideout and set Harley on the bed. She changed the girl into pajamas and headed for the door to leave the room.
"Puddin', don't leave me." Harley slurred her words, still drunk after her nap in Ivy's arms.
"You'll be fine, Harley. And I'm not the Joker, I'm Poison Ivy," she stated through gritted teeth.
"Red? That's you. Don't leave me. I need you." Harley whimpered.
"You don't need me like you need the Joker." Ivy bitterly spat out knowing even if Harley did love her that she'd always be second place to Joker.
"Yeah, I do. Why do you think I come to you every time he beats me?" Harley asked.
"So I could put you back together to prepare you for your next beating."
"It's not like that, I promise," Harley explained.
"Harley, you're drunk. You have no idea what you're saying." anger raged inside Ivy with every beat of her heart.
"Ow! Red, stop, please." Harley pleaded.
In her anger, Ivy didn't even notice the vines wrapping themselves around Harley.
"It doesn't matter! You won't remember! You never remember." Hot tears ran down Ivy's face as the vines wrapped tighter around Harley.
Maybe it was the helpless look in Harley's eyes, maybe it was the thought that Ivy was hurting Harley just as the Joker would, or maybe it was both of those reasons which forced Ivy to release Harley from the vines.
Harley took a gasp of air. "Thank you."
Harley had said it in such a way, such an indescribable way, it left Ivy speechless. How could she thank the very person who just tried to kill her? Knowing they harbor a feeling as vengeful as murder is a sign to run away and never look back, not to thank them and shove the past away.
That's when the final puzzle piece snapped into place. She thanked Ivy for not killing her, but she also thanked the Joker, the same person who beats her for batting an eye, for not killing her. She expects it. Harley expects her life to be taken away at any moment. She was beaten to believe she doesn't deserve a life because she already gave it away the moment she met the Joker.
A wave of guilt washed over Ivy as she stared at the drunken helpless girl.
"You shouldn't expect me to kill you. You shouldn't expect anyone to kill you because you deserve to live, Harley. I'm sorry." Ivy walked over to the girl and embraced her in a warm hug.
. . .
"I promised myself I wouldn't go back to him... I promised myself I wouldn't leave you." Harley whispered.
Ivy glanced at the clock without letting Harley know she was awake. It was four twenty-one.
Harley rested her head on Ivy's chest like an infant koala. "I'm sorry Pammy" It was no more than a whisper.
Ivy strained to hear Harley's whispers. Silence started to grow, then a snore escaped Harley's mouth.
"I'm so so sorry." She stated again.
Was she... sleep-talking?
"Sorry for what, Harl?" Ivy questioned.
"F-for coming to you every time he beats me," Harley whispered.
Ivy gazed down towards Harley's eyes, still closed. Harley must've heard Ivy speaking in her dream.
"I know it h-hurts you a lot." A tear fell from Harley's closed eye.
Even in her dreams, she cried persistently.
"Don't cry. Just stay asleep Harl."