Chapter 13 – "Everyone is someone's dog"
Peony meant bravery, pansy – caring, while daffodil respect; at least from what he remembered. Kakashi never had lessons of hanakotoba as they were typical for kunoichi classes, but he learned a few things in passing. Even if he was totally ignorant, it would be impossible to overlook the amount of thought and work Rin put into a bouquet for him. It was a small thing but very elegant, contrary to the monstrosity standing next to it. The wild bush from Gai included dahlias, freesias and lilies to name few rather inappropriate flowers (that in order meant good taste, childishness and hatred), and now was the object of interest to his dogs, especially Akino, who seemed to have some sort of personal grudge against the overwhelming scent irritating his sensitive nose.
Looking at the pile of puppies it was hard not to crack a smile, at least if you weren't one bratty redhead, who despised everything that wasn't sterile clean. Shiori had to be the only child he knew that wasn't cooing over his pack, because no matter how useful they were, no one could say they weren't also sickly adorable - even if Bull was eating bed's leg, Bisuke was scratching walls and the rest tried to smear their slob all around the place. They were in constant motion, wagging, wriggling and jumping. His puppies were a breathing store of pent up energy waiting to release itself on the world. Medic-nins told him to uphold summoning jutsu for the time being, so they could monitor his chakra levels. Kakashi doubted they hadn't regretted their decision these days.
Pakkun raised its head from the boy's chest and sniffed the air. Its tail started to waggle like crazy, tapping out rhythm of some frantic polka, to which the other dogs joined after a second. In crescendo the puppies sprang in the direction of the opening door. Their back legs swung outwards as if almost losing balance when they leaped up, landing on Kakashi's new visitor, whom now they were licking furiously.
"Hatake-san, do something with this stupid mutbleh! Stop putting your tongue into my ear, you overgrown fleabags!"
"They just like you, however I don't know why." He added in a low voice. No matter how entertaining the shrieks of the young Uzumaki were to Kakashi's sadistic ears, the boy knew they would bring unnecessary complications, because where was this little brat, her loud cousin followed right behind. "Boys, that's enough. Come here."
The pack listened to their alpha, happily wandering under his bed, leaving the distraught child to her own doings, that at the moment consisted mainly wiping off their spit.
"These mutts aren't hygienic. How can they even be here?"
"They're ninkens, not normal dogs. And they're clean." Protested the masked boy. "Why are you here, Shiori-chan?"
"I bring you a gift." announced the girl, desperately rubbing her ear with a handkerchief.
"A gift?" That was rather uncharacteristic for her, at least as far as he knew the kid.
"Yeap, a splendid gift of certainty that you won't keel over and die. He should be here the moment he finishes speaking to your medics."
Kakashi had a gnawing idea who this mysterious he was going to be and he didn't like it. At all.
The world, as if wanting to admit that his fears were justified, materialized the serpent man in the room with his usual dangerous aura and a little unusual evident irritation almost simmering from his ears.
"Child, I hope you don't intend to pursue any medically inclined career path."
"I?" On Shiori's face was something what could only be described as the epitome of the mightiest possible deadpan. "For hours listening about others people suffering, surrounded by their germs? Sacrificing my time and energy to ease their pain, because of the kindness of my good, soft heart?"
Apparently both men had the same problem imagining this, since Orochimaru only snorted and in few swift steps stood looming over Kakashi, unceremoniously removing his bandages, what clearly hadn't gained approval of the dogs, that now where growling at the tall man. One glance from those snakelike yellow eyes was more than enough to send them back under the bed; with one exception. The smallest puppy began to growl even fiercer and when that hadn't deterred the shady fellow, the pug pierced the man's trousers with its tiny, needlelike teeth.
"Bad dog." scolded the little redhead and picked up the dog. Looking straight into its eyes, she tried to explain. "Orochimaru-sama just wants to help. He's the most competent person in this abode of debauchery to check on Hatake-san. Normally, he wouldn't even bother himself with your master, so be a nice doggy and be grateful."
Reprimanding the dog Shiori was so passionate, she didn't notice when she moved the pup closer to better convey the message; and so she gained one powerful lick through the face.
"You little shi…"
"Language, Shiori-chan."
"Buuuut Orochimaru-sama," wailed the reborn woman. "This fur ball has some dirty, sticky vendetta against me. I cannot simply do nothing."
The Sannin sneered but it wasn't addressed to Shiori, at least she hoped so. The girl toddled closer to see what displeased the man. The only possible explanation was a problem with Kakashi's sharingan. The boy had his mask on but the longitudinal, red scar was clearly visible on the upper half of his face.
"What's wrong, Orochimaru-sama? Was the transplant rejected?" she asked, giving voice to her own and the boy's worries.
"The eye is going to work, if that is what you are asking. Its efficiency is another thing, even those cretins noticed it." The two dumbfounded stares forced him to explain his point further. "Kakashi-kun, your eye will work as any other sharingan but the amount of chakra, which it will consume is incomparably higher. Your body will go through chakra like Shiori-chan through dango."
The silver-haired teenager clearly paled at the comparison.
"Is it normal?"
"Well," Orochimaru pondered the girl's question. "It's the first case of transplanting sharingan to a non-Uchiha, at least officially and not the one when the new owner is hunted and killed by the clan before anything could be assumed, so it's hard to say. However, there's no scientific reason why it couldn't be far more efficient; especially when its ocular power is freshly developed."
"So it should work fine?"
"It shouldn't work at all." said Snake Sannin in a supremely bored tone. "At least I've no idea how it's working with so poorly executed surgery. Your friend, Kakashi-kun, had no proper knowledge nor skills to do something like that, not to mention the circumstances of the whole ordeal. It really shouldn't work, and yet here you are."
"I understand. Thank you, Orochimaru-sama." Mumbled Kakashi, with trouble closing his new eye.
"So nothing can be done?" Shiori was however as adamant as at the beginning of their talk. It couldn't be just it. "You can fix it, right, Orochimaru-sama?"
He had to turn away his head. The child regarding him with that absurd little crooked smile of hers and that whole ocean of adoration rocking in her golden pools, always stirred in him a desire to satisfy her whims. He knew he was being manipulated but was still convincing himself that he was agreeing to it just to be able to use the girl in the future. He couldn't be getting soft, right?
"True, it is in the range of my expertise, but I doubt Uchiha would let Kakashi-kun to keep the eye then. I believe it's better the way it is."
"But if they agree, would you do it?" The child was clearly sent to this world to complicate his life. In no other way the girl could know how that devilish dimples worked on him, especially after the time he thought she might had died. The man just pried she wouldn't blink and tilt her head. She did. To made things worse, in tandem with the puppy she still squeezed.
"I suppose so." He hissed through clenched teeth.
A loud squeal came from the length of his knees, that in the next moment were attacked by an enormous hug (the pug at the last second evacuated from her arms under the bed).
"Great, thank you, Orochimaru-sama. You're the best!" Shiori turned on her heel and headed for the exit, but was stopped by two things. The first one was the Sannin's voice.
"Child, wait for me. You're not going anywhere alone."
The second one was Bull, that moved extremely fast for something so big and generally resembling some fuzzy icebreaker. The enormous pup crawled out from under the bed and stood on its two hind legs, put the remaining ones on the girl's shoulders and knocked her to the ground no problem, only to lay down on her. The other puppies eagerly joined tormenting Shiori, whose face was getting as crimson as her hair.
"Get off me, you portable germs containers! It isn't some slapstick comedy, dammit!"
The two men just blinked watching the absurd scene.
"She's planning something." Said Kakashi with trepidation in his voice. "Why? She doesn't even like me."
Orochimaru watched how the teenager unconsciously touched his new eye. The boy had to think that Shiori was doing it for Obito, but the Sannin knew better. The girl was everything but sentimental.
"Sometimes it's better to remain blissfully unaware. It's healthier." He handed the bandages to Kakashi. "I'll send a nurse to put it back. Goodbye, Kakashi-kun."
The young jonin half-aware observed as the man pulled the girl by her collar from under the mountain of dogs and calmly walked away with the still fuming child, throwing ridiculous threats left and right.
The moment the door closed, his pack started whining after their favorite new pet.
Ω
Uchiha Mikoto always knew she wasn't the best mother but she also hoped she wasn't the worst. Now she had mixed feelings. What even remotely good mother would feel relief seeing her only child crying? She had.
When the Village reached the news of the attack, she thought that her heart had just been broken into a million pieces. Fugaku told her to stay put and was instantly gone. The hours she waited for any news were the most terrifying in her life, even when she tried do everything not to think about the horrors her little boy was going through. She focused on cooking Itach's favorite onigri, but none she made was good enough, so she ended with so many plates, they almost didn't fit in the kitchen. There were so many, that she had trouble getting to a window when a messenger crow started to tap the glass; well, she would have had trouble if she hadn't simply marched over them without any care.
She wasn't sure she cried reading that Itachi was unharmed and coming to Konoha with Uzumaki Kushina. The only thing that indicated it was the smeared ink on the note. Mikoto managed to compose herself as well as she could (which wasn't much) and the next thing she knew she had her lovely, little boy in her arms.
The Uchiha matron smiled glancing at the four-years-old sitting at the kitchen table and reading an old scroll from the clan library. Worth mentioning was the fact that the scroll was far bigger than its reader. Her son was a true genius, but his recent tears confirmed her hopes that he was also her little boy. The woman knew he was their future, be she believed he should stay a child at least until he would go to the academy. To think that earlier Fugaku was actually considering taking Itachi to the warzone, so the child could wholly understand what being a shinobi meant. If then Itachi would start crying she would… well, her husband should feel like a tremendously fortunate man it wasn't the case.
"Itachi, do you want one more onigri?"
"Thank you, mother, but I am full." Squeaked the tiny voice behind the scroll.
"So maybe we can go on a walk?" Asked the woman, gently taking away the boy's reading material.
"I am sorry, but I would prefer to read, if it does not do you that much of a difference."
Mikoto sighed placing the scroll back on the table.
"If you say so. But it is such a shame. I wanted to talk with Kushina today, I have not thanked her yet for rescuing you, but on the other hand I do not want to leave you alone." Itachi twitched hearing Kushina's name. "Who knows, maybe her little cousin also will be there?"
"I will be ready in five minutes, mother." Declared the boy, slid off his chair and very carefully walked from the kitchen as fast as possible while not running. In the end he didn't want to seem too eager.
Mikoto couldn't control herself any longer. She burst out laughing.
When Itachi talked about the attack, he was very methodic and refrained like seasoned shinobi, except the time when he spoke about the little, bloodstained and dirty girl – then his eyes sparkled. No matter how sad it was, her son had no friends. Children were simply too… childish (not to say stupid) for him; he couldn't understand them. And then from nowhere appeared a girl, who wasn't just as bright as he was, she was smarter – at least from what Itachi told her.
Her husband also advised her to keep an eye on the little Uzumaki. Possible asset as he put it.
Yesterday Kushina was more than happy for her proposal of a playdate for their children, and so today the Uchiha matron took her bag, her son's hand and walked out of their home to meet two redheaded Uzumaki.
Ω
The reborn woman was never one to look a gift-horse in the mouth, so she didn't comment the accidental meeting with Itachi and his mum, after Kushina dragged her from home. Shiori needed to talk with Fugaku and the easiest way to do it was through his son but… THIS WASN'T NORMAL, GOD DAMMIT!
She stood in one place, pressing a big, white and fluffy towel to her figure. They were in a bathhouse. That stupid, stoned with pork ramen woman took her to a freaking bathhouse!
Shiori's cheeks puffed, gaining more reddish hue with every passing second. Her changing coloration wasn't the fault of high temperature. It also wasn't because something so mundane as embarrassment. The reborn woman was never a prude; especially here and now because she was five. She could stroll through Konoha naked like a newborn baby and the main problem of seeing it in the crowd would be her possible cold and irresponsible parents. Scandal – total zero.
The same applied to Itachi. He was even younger than her, and no woman in the bathhouse spared him more than a glance for another purpose than commenting his adorableness.
Shiori had another big problem with this place.
It was completely and utterly unhygienic.
Pure water without chlorine or any other disinfectant. She had no idea who was there before, using it to clean their freakish body; for example, an Aburame with all those crawling insects came to mind or some Inuzuka with their dogs and dogs meant fleas… Oh gods, how she despised it all! There were moments when getting dirty and germ-infested was necessary. This certainly wasn't one of them.
She wanted to turn around and run back to the changing room but the embodiment of evil was faster. The older Uzumaki smirked, wrenched the towel from Shiori's hands and poured a bucket of soapy water on the girl.
"Now, I'll scrub you! Get ready, shrimp!"
Itachi hid behind his mum soaping himself as fast as he could. There was no way he would let this exceptionally lively woman assist him. His mother only laughed seeing the distress of the two children. Father was right. Women were cruel creatures.
Something red flashed before his eyes and with a loud splash landed in the bathtub laughing like a mad hyena. At the same time another something walked to him. It was a snowman made from foam and the only distinguish thing about it were its golden eyes outshined by recent failure.
"Shiori-dono?"
"If you truly must call me like that, I prefer senpai, pfhe!" She shivered accidently swallowing a bit of foam. "I need to rinse myself, now."
As if her wish was a world command, a large wave splashed right into her, leaving the girl spitting water.
"Very mature, Kushina-san. Don't you think you should be little more tactful in Mikoto-sama company?"
A delicate hand patted Shiori's locks.
"It is alright, Shiori-chan." Assured the dark-haired lady. "I know Kushina from the time she was still genin. Actually, my husband, then my fiancé, spend more time on his patrols running after her than doing anything else. She was always very… spirited. If she behaved otherwise it would not be the same. It is refreshing."
Shiori had to bite the insides of her cheek not to scowl, resulting in a smile that looked as if someone slid under her nose something rather reeking. Because of Kushina's imbecilic ways making a good impression on Uchihas was simply impossible.
"If you say so, Mikoto-sama."
The Uchiha matron just smiled and put two children in the tub. Shiori wasting no time, scrambled to Itachi's side and not paying attention to his obvious embarrassment glued herself to him. She hoped that Kushina had enough sense to not try and drown her, risking at the same time the life of the future clan's head.
Was the reborn woman ashamed, using a four-year as a shield? Not at all.
"Tachi-chan, protect me from this bad lady suffering from major case of mental indolence."
The boy didn't know what indolence meant but he knew he would be protecting his senpai no matter what, so he nodded and gave Kushina the best Uchiha glare his pudgy face was capable of.
"Those two are too adorable" cooed Mikoto.
Kushina just smiled. They were adorable all right, but she had an inkling that Shiori treated Itachi more like a pet than a friend. Oh, but it would change, Kushina was sure of it, mainly because she intended to cause it.
Ω
The newest addition to Konoha's gastronomy map was a blast. At least in Kushina's mind. Shiori couldn't see anything extraordinary in famous Ichiraku and so after the semi-pleasant visit in the bathhouse, while her cousin was eating one more portion of the soup chatting with Mikoto, the girl was window-shopping nearby with Itachi faithfully toddling half-step behind her.
Shiori noticed a nice set of hair clips. Maybe she should bring Minato here and not so gently let him know how pretty it looked or just simply guilt trip him about something completely insignificant. What however would put his golden heart in a state of strain sponge? No matter how you looked at it, she was still slightly resentful towards him.
In that moment karma made its presence known, showing that plotting one-person demise can be contribution to a would-be-conspirator suffering.
Sobbing was one of the sounds that put the human brain in overdrive, so it was natural that hearing it Shiori instinctively located its source and then wanted to be as far away as possible from it. It turned out to be a scrawny kid being extremely aggressively pushed by a group of older boys behind a trash bin in the entrance to a side alley; because with her luck it couldn't be some drunkard she could easily ignore, it had to be someone heartbreakingly pitiful. How many idiots in distress she met these week? If it keeps going on she was going to break some record.
A loud cry came from the alley.
She nearly fused her nose with the glass. It wasn't her business. Kids cried for no reason, she knew, she was one of them. No number of tears or pathetic sounds could get her interest; not even this sniffling noise full of anguish and echoes of running footsteps. Oh for the sake of double expresso, why was she only resistant to it?!
As could be deducted, Itachi wasn't unaffected by the sounds of assault and sprinted straight to it, so in the exact opposite direction to where Shiori wanted to be. Hell, before she could find Kushina that adorable idealistic moron would be in big shit. Was she really so afraid of a few half-witted teenagers to leave a four-year-old baby at their mercy? Maybe they were bigger than her but she was mentally older for the fuck's sake!
Shiori fixed her dress and full of conviction marched to the alley where Itachi was already standing between the beaten kid and his five tormentors, that were far taller and mean looking than she thought. Self-loathing her stupid heroic moment the girl frantically signaled to Itachi to run away but if the boy saw her, he hadn't shown it.
"Leave him alone." That was the tone that clearly promised a world of pain for any sight of disobedience. The tone of a true Uchiha.
However, Itachi faced people having survival instinct of a lemming.
"And what do you think you're doing, brat? You wanna end like that shit?"
"Hey, that's enough" interrupted the recent punching bag and shakily stepped before Itachi. "You've business with me, not the kid."
"But you are letting them beat you." Protested Itachi.
"No one is letting us beat them!"
Shiori had enough testosterone for a century. She groaned and walked to the little Uchiha and patted his head grinning as if suffering from really onerous toothache.
"That's enough Tachi-chan. And now, gentlemen, please, all this's unnecessary. I think each of us should go our own way and forget this unpleasant incident, what do you say?" Her smile and words had no effects beside general belief that the newly arrived redhead was an idiot.
"Forget?" Asked the boy resembling a pink hippo. "Because of him our friend is dead!"
Under the accusations the boy seemed to shrink and it wasn't just any feat in his case. The lad looked like a stunted sapling that would break at the slightest gust of wind. He wasn't much taller than her. Nothing more than skin and bones. If not for the normal clothes Shiori would think he was some street urchin.
"This is war and at war people die. That's just what they do." She really had enough of this conversation. "And now I'm asking you to be nice and go away."
"Or what, you carrot top?" And here came the most ridiculous nickname ever. Shiori almost face palmed.
"Yeap, that's the moment when I'm telling you my sly plan. I think not. KUUUSHINA-NEEEE-CHAAAN, HEEELP!"
The children's lungs were a true marvel. Her voice wafted across the streets clearly like a siren alarm and in the next second a curtain of red hair was everything what the golden eyes could see. Thanks to some kind of Hiraishin or other teleportation technique all kids were able to admire the Red Hot-Blooded Habanero in her full powerful wrath.
"What's going on here?!"
The teenage attackers screamed something about monstrous vegetables and ran away leaving only clouds of dust, one irritated woman and three coughing children.
"Shiori-chan!" a tough hand bumped said girl's head. "How many times need I tell you: stop getting into trouble and making other children cry! It's mean!"
"Wait! How exactly is this my fault?"
"If not yours then whose? Itachi's?"
They both looked at the big eyed, bewildered boy. The only thing he could be guilty of was stirring an irresistible desire to cuddle him to death.
"I believe it was the fault of those boys who just ran away." Uchiha generously explained to her.
"These two wanted to help me, nothing more. I swear, Madame." Assured the dark-eyed child attempting to pull back his snots and frantically wiping his face. He wasn't wishing for more trouble to anyone; especially the two small kids that tried to help him, even if one was doing it unwillingly.
"These two? As if he and she? Helping?" Kushina had a hard time assimilating the concept. To be sure he understood about who she was talking about, the older Uzumaki rather indelicate pulled Shiori's cheek, earning a loud squeak.
"Seriously, I can be nice. From time to time." Muttered Shiori, massaging her sore face.
"Yeah, and I can be as dignified as Hiashi." mocked the crimson haired woman.
"I don't know who the bloke is but I already like him." The words got her the next bump in the head.
"Cheeky shrimp," mumbled Kushina and focused on the new child. "And who are you, exactly?"
"Shisui, Uchiha Shisui." Answered the now identified boy, heralding Shiori's upcoming headache, because the girl wanted nothing more than start banging her head in a wall. Someone had to really hate her up there. She demanded answers, dammit! What was the probability to meet this peculiar boy from all people in Konoha?
On the other hand, at least one of them had fun. Kushina's snickers turned into a full-fledged laughter within seconds.
"Seriously cousin, you had an Uchiha-radar or something? It's even more odd than funny. Maybe you should start collecting them?"
Was Kushina right? Was Shiori meant to catch them all? Was it some sick equivalent of PokemonGo?. Wait, then she would have had to meat Madara and that was a big HELL NO! Two future-self-sacrificing-idiots in one day were more than enough for her; an ancient badass was completely unnecessary.
"If I start bringing home boys like some strays, Mini-nii is going to get an aneurism."
"You don't need to bring them home immediately. This one, for example, had to be fattened first. Just look at him. You can't be chubbier than your boys."
Itachi assessed the boy suspiciously. Maybe he was from his clan but it didn't make him any more trustworthy. Not only wasn't he protecting himself, even when it was clear he could easily defeat his tormentors; now he was called his senpai's boy. She couldn't take this Shisui guy home just like that. Shiori was his senpai. And so his brilliant four-year-old brain had a splendid idea.
Itachi took Shisui's hand.
"I am Uchiha Itachi, your cousin. I will take you to my mother. We will take care of you."
As could be predicted Kushina cooed over Itachi's loveliness and dragged them back to Ichiraku, where she left Mikoto. The Uchiha matron regarded Shisui with something bordering between pity and trepidation but took care of him non the less. It turned out that the new Uchiha was eight and just started his last year at the Academy. This caught Itachi's attention, because if the older boy also was a prodigy then maybe he wouldn't look at him oddly and call him a freak. He could even be friend material, but first they had to explain a few thing regarding Shiori senpai.
The redhead girl had another thing on her mind.
When sizable bowls of ramen were set before them, the reborn woman wanted to cry. This day was awful. First, she was smeared with dog's slob; then nearly drowned in water probably containing at least seven thousands colonies of different germs; met people who she wanted to avoid at all costs and now she was going to be poisoned.
Golden pools full of dread met Ichiraku's owner happy face. Yeap, she was going to die.
OMAKE
Few days after Shiori arrived to Konoha
It was official. Shopping with Kushina was more tiring than a pentathlon.
Shiori wasn't feeling good. Actually, she wasn't feeling at all. She was tired, sweaty and bored, because even the perspective of new clothes couldn't recompense hours of Kushina's lively company (Minato dragging his sorry ass behind them wasn't feeling better than the girl). The only possible option to not go mad was turning off her brain. Unfortunately, thanks to this precaution Shiori didn't note where they were going to eat, at least until she was sitting on Minato's lap at the counter.
"Prepare to be amazed, shrimp." Announced Kushina bouncing in her seat.
"I'll try to contain my excitement." Only someone deaf and blind wouldn't be able to spot her cynicism. "Kushina-san, you know I don't like broths."
"Broths?!" The cook in outrage dropped a spoon. "I'll let you know, little lady, that it isn't some broth. It isn't even a ramen. It's Ichiraku Ramen."
"Easy there, Teuchi-san" Minato, the lovely voice of reason, shielded Shiori in his arms. "I'm sure she'll love your ramen the moment she tastes it."
The man grumbled something but went back to his pots with just one more glowering look. In the meantime, Shiori made herself comfortable in the blond jonin's arms, mentally preparing her taste buds for the unpleasant flavor.
"Heyo!"
The small Uzumaki almost bit off her own tongue. Unexpectedly, just before her nose appeared a face smudged in flour. Its owner was a girl the same age as Shiori, sitting on the other side of the counter.
"Who ale ya? I'm Ayame. How old ale ya? I'm five. What ya like? I like flowels and doggies. Ya wanna be fliends?"
The single possible interpretation of Shiori's grimace had to be disgust. Not only this child was an incoherent moron, she also held out her hand smeared to the elbow in some stinking, meat slime.
There could be only one answer.
"No."
The same could be said about Ayame's reaction.
The brown-haired girl started crying. Her wails mangled with barrage of "shrimp", "Shiori-chan" and "you brat"; while Shiori couldn't care less. With some luck this would be the last time Kushina dragged her here. The reborn woman was completely apathetic to the whole mess and her apparent rudeness to the moment she encountered Teuchi's gaze. It was murderous.
Thinking more about it, in the Village of full professional killers getting hemlock or arsenic couldn't be too hard, right?
Shiori gulped. No more ramen for her, ever.
Next chapter done. Let me know what you think.
Thanks for all your comments, favs and follows. And as always I bow before my lovely beta - mrsmiawallace88.