All things white and not so pure

"Stare or don't, it won't change a thing." Shiori had a way of not mincing her words, fingers clenched tightly over a fiercely pink pen in white cats. For such a tiny brat, she was kinda badass; Kushina had to acknowledge that. The red-haired woman shifted in her seat, her eyes still resting on the girl as if the child was a bowl of ramen.

"But, shrimp-chan, can't you hurry up a little? We need to crush that old perv."

The pen stopped, hovering an inch over a sheet of paper.

"What we are you talking about, Kushina-san? It's I who need to read and review this. I've been doing it for the last two days. Please, enlighten me: what kind of contribution have you brought to this glorious activity?" With the amount of the young Uzumaki's sass it was possible to paint a barn.

"I'm feeding you, bringing you that awful coffee, doing laundry and giving mental support." the kunoichi counter on her fingers. "We're a team. Totally perfect trio."

Shiori dragged her suffering gaze to the third part of the said perfect trio - the Sannin, who from the beginning stubbornly ignored the two redheads in his laboratory. Orochimaru, however ingenious, was an ass who wouldn't act against the girl's cousin if it wasn't completely necessary - the required time would be too inconvenient for his busy person.

"Soaring over me like an angle of misfortune doesn't exactly count as a support. It's more like harassing used to exert mental pressure."

"It's positive pressure." Insisted Kuhina. "Everyone needs it. Right, Orochimaru-sama?"

The man didn't even flinch calmly mixing some green goo in a tube.

"Orochimaru-sama?" Repeated the woman but still having no response she moved closer to the scientist. "Orochimaru-sama? What the hell? Why isn't he hearing me? Has he something in his ears or what?"

The girl looked up.

"Oh, it's probably the cheese from our lunch. Clever."

"Cheese?" Kushina leapt to see the improbable dairy product. However, the moment the Sannin quirked his elegant brow at the woman glancing into his ear Shiori added,

"Or he's just using chakra to protect his inner ear against external stimuli."

The next moment the girl had to hide behind her mentor's legs; otherwise the taller Uzumaki would whip her like cream.

"I don't even want to know." Mumbled the man ignoring the raising pandemonium around him and went back to his tubes.

"Shrimp, you should know that I'm a really forgiving, likeable and generally fantastic person. But I'm afraid you irritated me one time too much." A smile appeared on the woman's face; a smile that haunted Minato in his worst nightmares. "It's payback time, dattebane!"

One hour later Kushina wasn't so sure about that whole payback business. Shiori as a principle hated everything concerning planning her and Minato's wedding (Kushina just knew it was because her devious cousin had a massive crush on the blond jonin, and was simply jealous), but here and now the girl was running around with Kushina's female entourage – and what's the most scary, she wasn't complaining. The older Uzumaki could play her passive aggressive bullshit games and the child would only smile, nod and give every impression that she was the cordial looser of the skirmish. Shiori wasn't just her normal pleasant version in front of Mikoto. The girl was chatting with Rin and that could mean only one thing – they all were going to die!

"What about this one?" Asked Yoshino twirling a greenly-gold kimono around and bringing the redhead out of her panic attack.

"It looks just like the one you had marrying Shikaku." Deadpanned Kushina.

"Exactly, and I've a great taste."

"Actually, it's quite good." Commented the Uchiha matron. "It deepens the ruby hue in your hair."

No matter the kimono was quite lovely; if Shiori was a dog her ears would be dropped and she would be growling. Not to mention she would probably bite Kushina's ass. Shopping didn't bother her and Mikoto was easy to tolerate, even Rin's company she could endure. However, when Kushina introduced her to Nara Yoshino, fresh wife of the Nara heir and bearer of Nara's genetically enhanced intelligence, the reborn woman thought she was going to flip her shit.

Why couldn't she meet some kind, gullible and always having food Akimichi? But NOOO if not some red-eyed, self-sacrificing bastards or creepy, limping miscreant; now it was time for this world's version of Sherlock Holmes! It changed nothing that the Nara woman wasn't as dangerous as her husband because for sure he also was going to pop somewhere nearby, naturally in the least appropriate moment, just to screw Shiori over. The only blessing was the apparent lack of maternal instinct in the new woman, who left the girl mostly alone. The reborn soul liked attention but now she was content just to stay invisible. So, for now, her only involvement in the whole ordeal was preventing the disaster, mistakenly called as Rin's aesthetic sense.

"What about this one?" At least the medical chunin acknowledged Shiori's supremacy in fashion department. The older girl showed her a pink colored kimono.

"Get a shade lighter and…" the tiny Uzumaki dove into a pile of materials and pulled out a dark obi. "Also, take it. And for Hashirama's sake, do something with those purple markings. War paint isn't the best makeup for a wedding."

The young kunoichi's doe eyes grew so much the girl thought they were going to pop out.

"But, but it's family tradition. It shows our strength and spirit. We wear them from the day we are named." Rin bit her lips. "Shiori-chan, do you really think it can ruin sensei's wedding?"

The reborn woman truly disliked that girl. Being so sweet should be prohibited. She wanted to puke. Nonetheless she had to change her behavior for the sake of the greater good (mainly her own). Having in mind the change shouldn't be too swift as not to arouse suspicion, the girl theatrically huffed.

"Just come to me some time before the ceremony. I'll somehow change the design to make them more sophisticated. Maybe some little swirls or flower pattern?"

Rin wasn't convinced.

"Shiori-chan, are you sure you know how to do it?" The kunoichi wouldn't be surprised if the five-year-old ended painting something awful on her face, simply out of spite. Rin really wanted to warm up relations with the sensei's adopted daughter but Shiori in no way was easy to befriend.

"I know a few things about clothes and makeup. My sis was one of the prettiest girls in Uzushio, she showed me what to do to look pretty." Explained the child while her golden pools shifted to the older redhead. "And now I constantly have Kushina-san to worry about. All those baggy dresses, yuck."

Rin couldn't stop a giggle, seeing Shiori pulling a disgusted face.

"Kushina-san always makes that expression when she speaks about cleaning your room. You know so much about being a big girl, Shiori-chan. Maybe you could help her and clean it by your own?"

The child sighed like a venerable, old lady forced to deal with some callow brat.

"Maybe I could but it doesn't mean I should." Shiori threw a silver ribbon on the older girl's pile of things to buy. "Kushina-san needs someone to dote on, otherwise she feels useless and alone."

"So, you're being lazy so she can feel useful and know that she has someone to love?"

"Pretty mu…" Shiori couldn't finish because someone decided to throw some sort of overgrown bush on her head. The plants were artificial contrary to her irritation that was far too real.

"It suits perfectly." Announced Yoshino adjusting the garland of white flowers on the girl's head. "Just the white dress and you and my little cousin, Kasuga-kun are going to be adorable together."

Screw the Nara intellect, that woman's bossiness was making Shiori carving for a pole (it didn't even had to be a pole, really, any kind of stick would do), because in that moment Yoshino looked to her like a piñata. There was no way Shiori would be anywhere near with any one from that clan.

"But, but…" her panicked eyes halted on Kushina. "I thought I can go with Orochimaru-sama?!"

"Sorry, shrimp, but no can do." Answered the older redhead inspecting some velvet material.

"What? Why!? I know you want the wedding to be small and simple but you have to invite Orochimaru-sama!" Otherwise she would be sentenced to association with all those nitwits.

"Don't worry. Minato already invited him. It's just that he can't go with you because he's Jiraiya-sama's plus one."

Shiori's face changed. Now it resembled a brick. A repulsed brick.

"You want him to babysit that old froggy."

Kushina merely shrugged at the accusation.

"Someone has to do it and Minato will be a little busy that day sooo…" The violet eyes sparkled with mischief, not unlike one pair of golden pools had in habit. "You need someone else as your date."

Now the reborn woman wanted that stick to bite herself into a pulp. She was being manipulated and only noticed it when it was already far too late to change the outcome. However, the most horrifying in this whole perplexity was the fact that Kushina played a role of the wheeler-dealer; and that was just wrong on so many levels she didn't even know where to start complain.

The girl knew Yoshino was Kushina's old genin teammate so it was natural she was going to be on the wedding, no matter her new social standing. However, it wasn't so obvious in other cases. The ceremony had to be a top-secret deal - Minato had too many enemies for it to be otherwise – and that meant as few guests as possible, and if they invited one clan's head they would need to invite all the others. Then the wedding would be everything but small and quiet. Shinobi didn't do small and quiet in big gatherings; especially when alcohol pushed to the top their ambition and competitive streak.

Shiori, as any other polite, repulsed and resigned to its fate brick turned to Uchiha matron.

"Mikoto-sama, can I take Tachi-chan to the wedding?"

"Not so fast, shrimp." It seemed her cousin hadn't caused enough mischief for the day. "Itachi-kun is his own person. You need to ask him out. Nicely."

The smaller Uzumaki really wanted to wipe off that smug smile from Kushina's face. Asking Itachi wasn't a problem, but being maneuvered into it was. She was outsmarted by… judging by the three greens all three women was at fault. Shiori had become a victim of conspiracy. She, the little deviant, was being screwed and just wasn't right.

She took the garland off her head. At least it was pretty.

"I want one made from living flowers."

If she had to be manipulated at least she was going to be bitchy about it.

Ω

"It's going to snow."

"Hm."

It was the whole conversation ongoing for the last fifteen minutes on the Uchiha's porch. From time to time the silence was disturbed by a slurp of hot tea or clang of cleaned weapons. The two boys weren't talking but they were more than content with each other's silent company. Truth be told, Shisui liked the younger boy so much because he could stay quiet for more than five minutes; contrary to his aunt's kids.

"Can we train after supper?"

"Sure, Tachi-chan."

Just as Shisui thought, his words had a desired effect. Itachi leveled him with a glowering look, while his cheeks turned pink.

"Do not call me that."

"Why?" The older Uchiha whirled a kunai around his finger. "Uzumaki-san calls you that the whole time and you've never told her to stop."

"But that is Shiori-senpai." Mumbled the boy, methodically rubbing a cleaning paste into his shuriken set.

"What? You like her more than me? It hurts, Tachi-chan. it really hurts. And what about that senpai thing? I'm older than both of you. If anyone should be called senpai, it should be me."

At the teasing, the smaller boy turned even more red. He wanted to say something but Shisui won't ever find out what it was, because in that exact second they heard a pair of steps running toward them. A moment later from around a corner appeared a big pompon with attached to it colorful hat, under which stack out the mentioned little lady, who flung herself between them. The boys managed to collect everything sharp from the floor in the last moment, otherwise the girl's tush would look like a hedgehog. When she was focused on something, her mind was so one-tracked, that her awareness was completely null.

Shiori zeroed her golden pools on the younger Uchiha as if he was her lifeline.

"Tachi-chan, you haveto go with me to Mini-nii's wedding." She announced in desperation.

The four-year-old barely managed to nod, before from the direction which Shiori had just emerged, her cousin jumped on them. The boys blinked seeing her. Both Uzumaki were peculiar; each in her own way. Nonetheless, it was something new to see the panting Kushina, tugging behind her a mountain of shopping bags in one hand, while the other carefully held a bowl of ramen.

"Shrimp! How dare you run away like that?!"

"It wasn't any dare." Explained the girl with obviously false placidity. "You told me to ask Tachi-chan to the wedding and I just did."

"Did she?" Shisui flinched back when the woman turned to him like some starving gorgon.

"Yes?"

The kunoichi's shoulders dropped. Asking if Itachi agreed was pointless. But maybe… This time she grilled the smaller kid.

"Nicely?"

The boy vigorously nodded, grabbing Shiori's hand for support. Kushina wanted to scream.

"When you proposed to stop in Ichiraku I just knew you're planning something fishy. But beware, shrimp, it isn't over!"

The tiny redhead just smiled and patted Itachi's head.

"Don't worry, Tachi-chan. She won't do anything more to embarrass us. I'm going to watch her like a hawk. Besides she already has everything what she wanted."

Judging by Kushina's sour expression that was a blatant lie but Shiori was good in them. Especially, when no one could tell her bullshit since Mikoto (with no smaller pile of bags than Kushina) marched to them with a big grin.

"So, are we going?"

"Yes, you are." Grouchily mumbled the redhead, still couldn't get over missing Shiori's moment of helplessness.

"Excellent! Fugaku is going to love my new kimono. And maybe he will for once wear a new one…"

Kushina snorted.

"That man wears the same thing for how many years? Actually: Does he have the whole closet of identical clothes?"

"He doesn't like changes." Mikoto tried to defend her husband but seeing her friend's doubtful gaze she gave up. "Oh my Gods, I'm going to be so embarrassed

"Not necessarily." In that moment, the gleam in Kushina's eyes very, very disturbingly resembled Shiori's just before one of her daring plans. "Maybe you should send the boys to us for a night and start presenting the things you purchased from that white, lacy set?"

"You think?" Uchiha matron blushed not unlike her son few minutes ago.

The sparkling of those lilac eyes was a sufficient answer.

Ω

Two pairs of black eyes were trained on each other. The heavy eyelids narrowed a little too slow to call it a blink. The irises were so stationary than if not for swarming in them displeasure they would seem dead. It was as if their owner's brains were suffering a massive short circuit and were struggling to compute. However, the glaring contest wasn't the only war going on. The other one resembled a game of push and pull. When a hand stretched a little further it had to stop, forced by a quiet but no less threatening growl and flash of sharp fangs. When the hand backed away the rumble cased, drowning everyone in dead silence. It was repeated every minute or so.

Jiraiya grimaced and with a huff tactically retreated to his previously taken position - that is he comfortably settled on a sofa in Minato's living room. His adversary however still followed his every move with unnerving scrutiny.

The Sannin grimaced even more.

"Kakashi-kun, do something with your dog." Demanded the man but to his charging the addressed teenager didn't honor him even with a glance.

Sakumo's son was sprawled on the carpet between rest of his animals, tenths of fuinjutsu scrolls and the little devil who lazily patted his silver hair.

For some time Shiori wondered how on Earth Kakashi managed such hairstyle (was it some gel or other hair product or just one of those irrational, shitty manga things?) so no one should be surprised that when the boy sat next to her on the floor to see what she was reading, the redhead sized the occasion and put her chubby fingers into his tresses.

The girl's inner scientist wanted to laugh in glee. It was because of his chakra nature. Electric currents flowing through chakra coils electrified his hair, making them stand at attention. And what was even more awesome it caused a tickling sensation on the tips of her fingers when she touched him.

Kakashi at the first contact instinctively stiffened but after a second understanding there was no threat, he relaxed under the surprisingly nimble fingers. When Shiori touched a spot on the back of his neck the teenager transformed into a boneless goo and put his head on her laps. If anyone asked he was doing in just to entertain the little gremlin, in no way he liked it.

"He's only practicing guard command." Sluggishly spoke the young jonin.

"But why he has to guard my manuscript? Especially from me, the author? Call him off, Kakashi-kun."

The boy obediently opened his mouth to dismiss Pakkun but Shiori had other ideas. She once again scratched the spot on his neck.

"Mini-nii asked me to beta-read it and I'm going to do it for him even if Jiraiya-sama is being a grumpy scared cat. So, the doggy is staying where he is or I'm going to stop petting you."

The old man was very powerful and experienced shinobi but right now he lacked the right means of persuasion so Kakashi with no regrets ignored him and submitted to further mollycoddling.

Now the Sannin was more than sure that child was a demon. No, screw this, she was demon princess. Bloodthirsty, spoiled demon princes, who was send to this astral plane just to made him miserable.

"You're devious little thing, you know that?" Answered him very smug and enthusiastic nod "Maybe you should be trained as a seduction specialist. Gods know you're already familiar with the basics."

The girl's smile only grew. As far as smiles go, everyone would like to be possibly far away from that one. Preferably on the other half of the world.

"Great idea, Jiraiya-sama. You should suggest it for Mini-nii. I'd really like to see how he hiraishin you into a black hole."

That petting had to brainwash the normally sullen boy. Otherwise he would never snicker into her laps.

"What the fuc… funk, is a black hole." Jiraiya knew it couldn't be anything good but he preferred to be ready for every possibility.

"A black hole is a region of space-time, exhibiting such strong gravitational effects that nothing - not even particles and electromagnetic radiation such as light - can escape from inside it. The simplest static black holes have mass but neither electric charge nor angular momentum. While the mass of a black hole can take any positive value, the charge and angular momentum are constrained by the mass. Due to the relatively large strength of the electromagnetic force, black holes forming from the collapse of stars are expected to retain the nearly neutral charge of the star. Rotation, however, is expected to be a common feature of compact object…" *

"Enough!" Jiraiya's big hand not only covered the girl's mouth but half of her face. "I swear, if you aren't Orochimaru's spawn you has to be Satan's."

"Sensei, is everything ok?" Asked Minato peering into the room.

"Of course, why shouldn't it be?"

Shiori's frigid gaze spoke something totally different but the blond man didn't want to poke her already fragile temper so he left it be.

"Great, dinner will be in an hour. Shiori-chan's friends should be here by then." The jonin very carefully omitted any gender characteristics those friends possess.

Suddenly, something hit a window making all three shinobi to tense. They were in a middle of the Village. They should be safe. Sadly, in shinobi world safe didn't exist.

Jiraiya pushed the girl into Kakashi arms and carefully walked to the window. What he saw apparently wasn't dangerous since he scoffed and opened it, letting in a cold air and a few white petals.

"Maybe you should invest in some bars, Minato. Apparently, you're going to need them faster than you think."

The blond looked out of the window and decided that in spite of all, his sensei was a wise man. Minato knew that danger of Shiori slipping out through a window was nearly nonexistent but it didn't mean no one would want to slip in through it. The sapphire eyes dipped down. Those two boys standing below his window, were really sweet and innocent kids, whom his little princess seemed to easily tolerate and that wasn't a small feat. He might even be tempted to say they were her friends. And that was the problem - they were friends, for now.

The reborn woman oblivious to Minato's inner turmoil looked outside only to be kissed in the nose by frost. She knew it was winter, she had seen many in her previous life and exactly five in this world but it was first snowfall she had seen after she died. For what she heard it was also first snow in Konoha in the past three years.

The snow hugged the Village like a newborn baby, soft and clingy. It was like the street had been put to bed, hushed under nature's glacial eiderdown. How odd it was to look on that sight, so familiar and yet so different. What was once the hokage mountain had become three gigantic, white-bearded old men, resting under the heavy sky; distinguished and mantled in their thick, silvery cloaks.

Everything was white. Everything besides two black dots from with one was frantically waving.

"Hello Namikaze-sama! Shiori-san, come out! We're going to have a snow fight!" Yelled Shisui.

The reborn woman liked snow. However, she liked it the most while sitting in a warm room with a cup of coffee and a good book. Snow had one trait that bothered her endlessly.

"But it's cold!"

"Come on, please! if not for me then for Tachi-chan! He has never before seen a snow!" Shisui wasn't giving up. Especially seeing how the red-haired girl tried not to smirk at Itachi's blushing cheeks. "You two will be together against me! And I swear, I won't be throwing snowballs with full force!"

Ok, she had to admit she wanted to go and play with them, no matter how childish it sounded. Now she was a child, she could be as immature and silly as she wanted. On the other hand, most likely she was going to end cold and wet; and that was something she would rather avoid. Her coat wasn't warm enough to protect her from that weather, adding to it Shisui's future snow assault she could as well go there with no coat at all… However, there was another option.

"Wait a moment, you two!" After the shout, the girl immersed herself in her fuinjutsu notes. After a minute of scribing she jumped up and running back to the window, out of blue stuck a tag to the Sannin's back.

"What the hell, brat?!"

"Shiori-san!" Minto reprimanded her at the same time that Jiraiya. "You cannot use unauthorized tags on people. It can be dangerous."

But the girl more than in their words was interested in the toad summoner's health.

"Are you feeling good? No dizziness, rash, itching or any boiling organs?"

"What?" the man was clearly out of his depths. "Of course, not. I'm all right. Why shouldn't I be?"

As it was more common in every next conversation, no one cared to answer him. Instead that little gremlin turned to the blond man.

"See, he's ok. This is a simple warming seal. Nothing serious." Shiori beamed at him and stuck identical tag on herself. "Now can I go out and play? Please, Mini-nii? I'll be careful, promise. Thanks. Call us when dinner will be ready. Bye-bye."

And the girl was gone.

The Sannin blinked and then chuckled. Minato was a really poor sod. That child was going to give him a heart attack before he would hit thirty. The snicker stopped abruptly, when Jiraiya felt a rising warmth on his back. Swiftly he detached the tag and eyed it with disbelief.

"That fucking shit is working."

It was Minato's turn to blink at the other man.

"Yeah, it is. Wait, sensei, the whole time you thought Shiori-chan was just playing?"

"Of course, I thought she was playing! She's five, for fuck sake." He eyed the tiny figure in yellow that just walked to the boys only to be pounced at by the taller one and buried in a snowdrift. He once more focused on the tag. It was simple but rather ingenious in its simplicity. And to think she did it just like that… Jiraiya smirked. "Not Orochimaru's spawn my ass."

OMAKE (well, sort of)

Somewhere far away from Konoha

Inside here blackness was eternal. It was like an invisible energy, crushing his body, squeezing the remains of life out of him. Air was freezing here, sending some violent chills down his spine. Light reached neither walls nor ceiling, confining his vision to a small circle of dancing orange cast by a torch hanging over him. It was his only source of light and warmth.

That small flame was his only companion. The only companion he wanted to think about. He bit his lips. Pain was relentless. It was everywhere but it wasn't wholly bad. It was his anchor to reality. He knew it wasn't some sort of nightmare only thanks to it. The agony rising in him like waves of a tide, the stone table he laid on, barely visible outlines of roots growing out of the ceiling. Everything was better than thinking about that freakish white guy and the old man, who were nursing him.

Normally he would be grateful for saving his life. He had been. At least until that ancient, skeletal man, who looked like he could keel over and die at any second, told him his name.

In that moment, he vowed he would always believe that pintsize devil, no matter about what absurdity she would babble. Gigantic demons, aliens, other worlds – he was good with everything.

For now, he was doing the last thing he ever thought he would do. He was listening to Bakashi's advice. That arrogant idiot told him once, that he should just shut up his trap and look like a fool, because it was all he was born to do. And now he was doing exactly it. He was behaving like an idiot, unaware that he was living in a den of monsters.

But it wasn't the only thing he was doing. He was also prying for his friends, for their safety. And he was waiting. Waiting for a right moment to get back to them.

*I'm lazy so I took it from Wikipedia.

Ok, next chapter done. Thanks to my dear readers, especially those who comment – you're making my day.

Oh, and my eternal thanks to mrsmiawallace88 – best beta ever.