There he was, parked before me and glistening in the hot midday sun. His perfectly polished glossy black finish promised mystery and shadowy darkness. The only hint of color anywhere to be found was a slowly trailing amber yellow accent light mounted flush just above his sharply pointed bumper. If you squinted just so, you could see a hint of golden red.

Yep, you must have found him first. The prize money was yours. With an extra kick in your step, you skipped over to see if it was locked. After all, the scavenger hunt is not over until the car is delivered unto the start point.

With absolutely no forethought, you grabbed the driver's side door handle. And that is how you received your first ever shock treatment.

"OW!" You screamed at the top of your lungs as you tried to stand back up on now super shaky legs. "That hurt!"

An evil belly laugh with a tinge of Mwahahaha seemed to come from no where. It was super creepy.

But that didn't faze you. "So this is why I had to buy a pair of electrical gloves?" You commented with an evil grin. "Now try and shock me, Bad Boy."

The amber accent light flickered oddly for just a second before it went back to trailing slowly back and forth.

Now you are all safe inside your giant black rubber gloves. But, you have a new unforeseen obstacle. They are GIANT rubber gloves. Your fat and safe fingers cannot slip under the flip up door handle to open it.

And as you try and fail to get a good grip on that slick and suddenly very tiny door handle, you hear that evil laugh again. And that just gets you more steadfastly determined.

"Ok Smarty Pants," you concede with a smile. "You win Round One. But let's see how you like this?"

With a flick of your hip, you pull out of your hip pouch a cheap pair of plastic yellow clip clamps. They are hard to squeeze even on a good day. And even harder with thick rubber gloves on. But somehow, you managed to power grip that menacing clip clamp. You successfully achieved a whopping two inches of clipping space. You literally grind your teeth as you wiggle that yellow clamp into place on the black door handle. God forbid that it fall off.

Proudly, you step back and inspect your work. And what an ugly job it was. This magnificent black sports collector's car was pristinely polishes to a perfect gloss. And now, it also has an ugly lopsided haphazardly clipped cheap yellow plastic clamp affixed to its driver's side door. You actually chuckled at the irony.

"Ok you Sexy Beast," you laugh as you diligently check the tightness of your rubber gloves. You tug on them downward hard. "As Ali Baba would say, open Says Me!"

You grab onto that ugly yellow clip clamp with two hands and yank upward with way to much force than was necessary. You actually grunted. Though you don't remember it.

But it's hard to remember anything after a hard landing on your butt for the SECOND time.

That creepy laugh gained volume and lasted a lot longer. But you couldn't help but laugh too. It was freaking hilarious. You actually wished that you had gotten a video of this for YouTube.

"This vessel is protected by an original tongue twisting password." A dark voice rumbled deeply from the black beauty. "Proceed with caution."

That stifled you laugh quick.

It talks?

"This vessel is protected by an original tongue twisting password." It repeated. "Please proceed with caution."

"Oh," you chuckled as you carefully stood back up. "Car Alarm, huh?"

Carefully, you peeled off your right glove and dig deep into your handy dandy hip pouch. Thank goodness for the tongue twisting challenge earlier. Though you still have sand stuck in places that sand shouldn't be. But beaches and digging will do that.

Loudly, you clear your throat...more than once...more than twice...

"This vessel is protec-"

"Hey! Hey! Hey!" You interrupt that now annoying voice. "Can't you see that I am working here?"

"Incorrect Password." The heavy voice replied. "Attempt One has failed. Please speak clearly. You have only two attempts left."

"Seriously?" You commented under your breath.

"Incorrect Password." The deep almost sexy car alarm announced with an air of aristocracy. "Attempt Number Two has failed. You have only one attempt left. PROCEED WITH CAUTION."

You burst laughing at the sheer insanity of this whole situation. Your butt hurts. There are yellow clip clamps at your feet. And now, you are arguing with a sophisticated car alarm that is literally the sexiest deep voice this side of James Earl Jones.

God! You hope that the prize money for this is as good as they promised.

While gasping for a breath, you pat your chest as you try to contain that exhausted laughter, "Ok. Ok."

"Incorrect Password." That haute voice announced with an almost evil grin. "You have failed to provide the correct original tongue twisting password. Second Level Protection System activated."

The very nanosecond the car alarm finished speaking, a simple children's campfire song began to play. It started out almost silent. But as the tune continued, the volume grew in intensity.

You belly laughed uncontrollably.

Row, Row, Row Your Boat

As soon as you gathered your breath to sing, you began to join in. Why not? "Row! Row! Row!" You belt out without a care in the world.

Just as quickly as it began, it stopped mid-verse.

"HEY!"

"Secondary Protocol Protection System deactivated." The deep voice announced forcefully. "Reactivating Original Tongue Twisting Password Protocol."

"This vessel is protected by an original tongue twisting password. Proceed with caution." The black sports car reiterated smoothly.

Quickly, you clear your throat and hold up your now crumpled paper. "Miss Susie sat upon it and cut her big fat- ask me no more questions. And I'll tell you no more lies."

'Oh my god! That was Awesome!' You remember singing this as a kid. You could probably finish the limerick if you wanted.

"Limited Access Granted." The deep voice reluctantly, yeah you could hear that emotion, announced.

Click

That simple sound signified your achievement. You actually celebrated with a fist pump.

Triumphantly, you grabbed a loose hold of the flip up door handle only to have your slick fingers slide off. Still locked.

You sighed once again, defeated.

"Face Print analysis is required." The voice continued unfazed. "Please place you race against my windshield. Left side. Right side. Middle."

"You have got to be kidding me." You laugh as you try to figure out how in the world this will work. "Umm, Crazy Car Alarm? How do I do that?"

"Do you request further instruction?" The voice quarried with an almost chuckle in it.

"As a matter of fact," you agree just to make the car talk some more. "Yes, please?"

"Accessing." The deep voice rumbled softly. "Instructions: place left side of face on the left side of the windshield. Press down for a clear reading. Place right side of the face on the right side of the windshield. Press down for a clear reading. Crawl onto the hood of this vehicle. Place front of the face into the windshield. Press down for a clear reading."