Disclaimer: First Chapter
Story Start!

"Target secured, are all of the bombs in place?"

Porno looked at the time as she spoke, and she noted that it was already 6:35 AM, meaning that she didn't have much time until the mission would be considered a failure. She strapped a large container to her back even more tightly, alarms in the building she stood on top of were already going off, so there would be a hero arriving pretty soon.

"Yes Mistress Porno, all Bomb Minions are in place, and the building is evacuated to your orders."

"Good... and I trust all the preparations have been... ah..."

"You... I can't believe that I get the chance to destroy you so soon."

"Seems we are dealing with more than the average hero, and one with a personal grudge... and here I thought I made you cum quite a bit... the pleasure not enough?" Porno was looking at the Hero Mirko who jumped to the top of the building, facing off against her. Porno looked back at her watch, knowing that she was going on limited time. She walked to the edge of the building, looking towards Mirko with her blank face.

Her brow narrowed.

Porno smiled at Mirko, with malice on her lips.

*SNAP*

"That crotch of yours was a delicacy, I hope you survive... well... I have business to attend to, so farewell." Porno leaned backwards and fell off the side of the building. The second she was out of view, Mirko rushed across the building to grab her.

She stumbled when the entire building shook.

Porno fell in free fall as the building started to collapse inward on itself, the minions with bombs strapped to them having blown themselves up perfectly (they would respawn in their clone bodies back at base). She prepared herself as Mirko jumped off the side of the building, running down it after her and quickly, very quickly catching up to her. Mirko grinned as she got within attacking distance, and reached out her arm to grab onto Porno.

The window shattered.

A minion on a motorcycle came crashing out of the building, with Porno grabbing the minion and throwing him off, taking the bike for herself. The momentum of the motorcycle carried Porno onto the top of another building.

"Fuck you hero!" The minion flipped Mirko off as he continued to fall to the ground.

"GENERAL PORNO! You aren't getting... DAMNIT!" Mirko grabbed onto the minion, only to quickly see him open up his uniform and show he was strapped to the teeth with bombs. She kicked off the building, barely getting out of the way in time and unable to save the life of the minion as he blew himself and part of the building into smithereens. She watched Porno drive off of the building she was on, with unreal levels of skill.

How could such a tiny, petite woman do that trick!?

Mirko was impressed by her skill, though she was more angry that Porno seemed to be getting away.

"Not on my watch."

Mirko ran along the buildings, following closely behind Porno as the girl landed her motorcycle on the road. Mirko landed on the ground, before she flexed her legs and took off at full speed to lessen the distance between her and her target.

"The package is on the way back to base... begin prep work for the next stage for when I arrive..." Porno clicked her teeth in annoyance when she glanced back and saw Mirko was gaining on her. She had less than 2 seconds before Mirko was going to catch her. Leaning to the side, she made a sharp turn and drifted against the road. sliding underneath a passing truck with Mirko missing her by a hair. "Mirko is in pursuit... how is the objective looking?" Porno spoke into her communicator.

"Mistress Porno, the target will reach the location at the predicted time."

"That doesn't give me long to shake her... very well... " Porno corrected herself and tightened the package against herself even tighter. Mirko was not in sight, having been forced to slow down to turn around. Porno took to an alley with her sharp turn, and Mirko had been unable to see her right away thanks to how she had taken that turn underneath a truck. It would be a few moments before Mirko realized where she had turned though.

She came out of the alley and landed in the middle of a park.

She kicked a paint can attached to her bike, and red paint exploded out of it. She did a few drifting donuts, before she drove off in a hurry when she heard the sounds of Mirko quickly approaching her. She kicked the pedal, and slammed it hard enough to get it stuck. She jumped off and landed in a bush, while the motorcycle kept driving off into a different alley. In her bush, she saw Mirko jump out of the alley, see the red paint, and look to where the trail went.

"I'm after you!"

Porno left the bush, before she ran in the opponent direction of where Mirko ran.

-Minutes Later-

"Package delivered." Porno rushed through the halls of the base, taking the package off her back.

Cerberus rushed towards her and sniffed her, approving that she was the real Porno as she moved herself quickly down the hallway. Porno snapped her fingers and several minions all ran towards her. One of them was carrying a portable TV, which was turned to the news.

"And Mirko has failed... Spiral left it's evil red spiral in a local park, after committing an act of terrorism... thankfully, the building had been evacuated ahead of time-"

"Good, the paint spiral came out looking perfect..." Porno entered a room, and she she quickly approached a machine that was set up on the counter. It was a device that Scientist-san had improved for her. She took the package, and she opened it up.

Black and brown powder.

She looked at her watch.

"Mistress Porno."

"Silence... the amount needs to be perfect." Porno started to take small amounts of the powder she had stolen, and poured it carefully into the machine. She needed silence in order to get the exact measurement that she needed. She closed the lid on the machine, and gently placed the large package with all of the powder that remained inside it on the counter.

*Click, pssssssssssh*

*With Naruto*

"Damn... almost 7 already."

"Here, your morning coffee... just the way you like it. 3 creamer, 2 sugar, and a spoonful of honey." Porno appeared next to Naruto with his morning cup of coffee in her hand. The cup was perfectly stirred, and perfectly light brown in color with steam rising from it. Every morning she started off by making him a cup of coffee to wake him up, and she knew exactly how he liked it, and the exact brand of coffee that he enjoyed.

The store she bought the coffee from was out of their brand though, so she had to do research the night before and set up a scheme to get more. So, she found a certain famous hero who drank the same brand as Naruto did... and she took all of his coffee. All of it, and she packaged it all up so that she could make her dramatic escape, leaving a spiral near the crime scene so that everyone would know that they were the ones who destroyed the hero agency.

"I'm-"

"Already prepared... a shrimp flavored cup ramen, already prepared... hot and ready." Porno gave him a cup of ramen in his free hand. She knew that he had stayed up late the night before, so she already had cup ramen picked out for the morning. She picked shrimp so that it could give him the energy, and because it was in line with the scheme he had been planning the night before. "... I have also compiled your scheme notes, and selected the general who will be partaking in the mission. Due to this being near the ocean, I have selected Loremaster as the most ideal... machines and water due not mix, and Scientist-san has zero heat resistance." Porno listed off as she showed Naruto the papers that she had gathered and compiled into an approprate mission command.

Naruto finished off his coffee, sat it down, and rubbed the top of her head.

She closed her eyes and enjoyed it.

"You make it awesome to wake up in the morning... having such a capable General makes being evil worth it." Naruto showed his affection for her work ethic. He threw his cloak over his shoulders, and sat down on his throne.

He took a deep breath.

His blue eyes turned red.

"ALL GENERALS ASSEMBLE!"

"YES SIR!" Loremaster came RUNNING into the throne room right then and there. She was missing one of her robot arms, and had a towel wrapped around her body. She had heard his shout, and decided that she didn't have enough time to get dressed and put both of her arms back on.

Eggmaam walked into the room, groaning.

"Is that coffee... I want a cup."

"Make your own." Porno took her place right next to Naruto's side, while Scientist-san entered the room after everyone else. She was yawning and wearing nothing but her lab coat, showing that she had fallen asleep working on something.

"Assignment time?"

"Yes... Loremaster, your job will be to prevent a hero ambush on drugs that are being smuggled into the country, and take control of the drugs for Spiral." Porno gave Loremaster the papers with all of the assignment details on them. She walked towards Eggmaam next, who just glared at Porno and took the papers handed to her with a sour look.

"Eggmaam, your assignment is to capture 4 Hero students from UA, 2 from Class A and 2 from Class B... bring them back here. Use whatever means needed, and don't forget to advertise." Naruto leaned forwardf and gave her a sharp look.

Eggmaam nodded her head.

"Just kidnap some students... on it."

"Scientist-san, we need you to cause chaos in Tokyo, use whatever means you need." Porno gave Scientist-san her assignment. It was a simple one with no set rules that she needed to follow, other than create enough chaos that the news would have no way to avoid talking about, and the usual spiral theme.

The naked scientist saluted.

"That leaves Porno... I'm going to trust you with the mission of revealing All Might's quirk to the world... it is high time everyone learned what the top hero's quirk is." Naruto gave Porno her personal mission.

"HAH... as if."

"I accept... consider his quirk widespread knowledge." Porno would start her research and find out who was closest to All Might, had been in the past, that may have that knowledge. Eggmaam laughing at her, treating the task like it was impossible only made her want to prove how possible it really was.

"Eggmaam, with your track record... I expect results this time... and Loremaster, I expect results from you to be just as good as our new guard dog." Naruto stated to Loremaster and Eggmaam, showing that he had high expectations for their success as well. "Scientist-san... do your best." Naruto gave the woman an encouraging thumbs up.

"Understood sir... I have the perfect monster I created!"

All assignments had been given, and Porno left feeling good about herself for the chance to once more prove that she was the best general.

She was always given the hardest missions for a reason.

Chapter End!
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