CHAPTER NINE

Hermione's eyes went wide, then slid shut with shock. After a few moments, he pulled back, his black eyes looking into hers.

"There," Snape said quietly. "Return to bed. I will bring your food."

Shocked, Hermione turned around and went back to the bedroom.

Was it always going to be like this? she wondered. Was he always going to treat her this way?

After a few minutes, Snape entered, carrying a tray containing some pumpkin juice, a few chicken sandwiches, and some fruit. "Here," he said, setting the tray on her lap.

"Why did you kiss me?" Hermione asked.

Snape didn't look at her. "There are some chicken sandwiches, some strawberries, and some peaches. If you still want more after this, tell me and I will get you more."

"Why did you kiss me?" she asked again.

He turned to go. "I will be in the living room."

"SEVERUS!" Hermione shouted without thinking.

Severus turned swiftly, surprised. Her brown eyes looked up at him.

"Why did you kiss me?" she asked in a quiet voice.

He sighed. "I don't know. I just felt like I needed to."

"But…you don't like me," she said.

He sighed and sat down on the bed beside her. "I do not harbor any particular dislike for you, Miss Granger. You remind me very much of someone that I once knew, and this constant reminder is very difficult for me."

"Lily Potter," Hermione said, not needing to ask.

"Yes. Lily Evans, as I knew her. She was only Lily Potter for a very short period of time."

"I remind you of her?"

"Very much so. You both excelled against all odds. You came from Muggle families, and there is no logical explanation for your brilliance. Either of yours. Her intelligence was without equal, at least until you came along. You are not the brightest witch of your age… you are the brightest witch of any age. And both of you share the same passion for life. The eagerness to learn and do good things. And such fierce, fierce compassion for others." Severus looked down. "It's very difficult for me to look at you and not see her in you. Much as it is for your friend. I look at him and see his mother, whom I loved, and his father, whom I detested. The past haunts me all the time. It's very difficult to live in the present because of it."

"I understand," she said. "But…please… Don't mistake me for Lily. No matter how similar we are, I'm not her."

"I know," Severus said quietly. "And I apologize, Miss Granger."

"Thank you," said Hermione. "And… You can call me Hermione."

"Hermione," Severus said, testing her name on his tongue for the very first time. "All right. You can call me Severus."

"I already did," she pointed out.

Severus looked at her, only to see her giving him a cheeky grin. She was teasing him!

"So you did," he said, smiling a bit.

"Thank you for helping me," she said quietly. "I've been feeling poorly for awhile, and I don't know what would have happened if you hadn't found me."

"Hermione… You need to eat. Madam Pomfrey said that if you keep going like this, you could die. Please eat."

After a moment, she nodded and reached for the tray, picking up a sandwich. "Do you want one?"

Severus started to say no, then changed his mine. "Yes. Thank you." He took one from the plate and smiled uncertainly at her.

After a moment, Hermione looked down at her shirt. "Did you undress me?"

Severus closed his eyes. He'd hoped she wouldn't notice. "Yes," he said unwillingly. "I did not look, and I did not touch. I averted my eyes and did not do anything."

"It's okay, I guess," she said after a few moments of awkward silence. "I mean… We're going to end up married. You'll end up seeing sooner or later."

Merlin, he'd forgotten about that part. This was the whole reason they were being pushed into this… To have children. And children meant…

He took a deep breath, pushing it from his mind. He couldn't think about her that way. Not now.

Once Hermione had eaten two sandwiches, she moved onto the strawberries and peaches. "Oh… These are my favorites," she said, smiling. "Thank you."

"Interesting. I had no idea. Just a coincidence, I suppose," Severus mused. "What other foods do you like?"

"Well, when I went to France with my parents a few years ago, I learned that I really like French food. I also love Italian food. But my very favorite would probably be… garlic chicken, rosemary-roasted potatoes, and grilled asparagus. What's yours?"

"I rather enjoy lamb stew," Severus replied.

"Well that explains it," Hermione said.

"What?"

"You eat lamb stew every single night. You never change it."

"I have a routine, and I adhere to it," Severus said.

"So you never do anything spontaneous?" Hermione asked.

"Such as what?"

"Like… going to Hogsmeade. Having something different for dinner. Wearing a color other than black."

"Black is practical," said Severus.

"Black is dark," Hermione said. "You would look so nice in something with some color."

"I am not being a fashion model for you," Severus said. "I say this now, because you look like you have ideas forming in that dangerous little mind of yours."

She gave him an angelic smile. "Always."

He chuckled. "Eat your fruit. You need some rest."

Hermione finished eating the fruit and nestled down into the bed. "Thank you again," she said. "For everything."

Severus gave her a polite nod. "You're welcome. Get some rest. I'll be in to go to sleep as well in an hour or so."

Hermione nodded. "Goodnight."

Severus returned to the main room, where he sat down in the armchair with a book to read, but couldn't. He couldn't keep his mind off of the girl in the next room.

She was so much like Lily. And yet… They were so different! He could feel something stirring inside him for this girl, but could he betray the memory of Lily?

"Merlin, what am I going to do?" he whispered, burying his face in his hands.