51.
The silence in the smaller drawing-room – she had investigated and it turned out, there was a bigger one, reserved for visitors – was so complete Effie could hear every tick of the old clock in the corner. Her father was nursing an amber liquid in a square glass, apparently lost in thoughts, her mother was staring at the clock, lips pursed… Lyssa had excused herself a few minutes earlier to see to her children's dinner…
When the doorbell finally rang, Effie shot to her feet, relieved that this very uncomfortable scene was at an end, but Elindra stood up too and waved her back down. "I will get it."
Effie slowly sat back down, reluctant.
"Do not worry so, dear." Tadius teased with a slightly terrifying half-smile, once Elindra was gone. "We won't eat him for dinner."
That sounded like a disguised threat more than a joke but she was distracted from it by the approaching sound of her mother lecturing someone about punctuality and its virtues. The moment Haymitch stepped into the drawing-room, a long-suffering expression on his face, Effie shot off the couch and ran to him.
It had been a while since she had failed to control her impulses better, since her first release of the hospital at least, but Haymitch was used to that sort of greeting and reacted appropriately, catching her in his arms. She barely resisted the urge to hop and wrap her legs around his waist, though.
"Alright, princess?" he asked, a little taken aback.
Ignoring her mother's outraged 'Euphemia, really!', she buried her face in his neck and took a long sniff, letting his familiar smell calm her frayed nerves. It also did wonder for the itching at the back of her head, somehow. It abated a little.
"I am happy, so happy, to see you…" she murmured against his neck before drawing back a little.
His grey eyes were inquisitive and a bit guarded when they briefly darted behind her at her parents. "Yeah, I can see that…"
Since she had already given in to one impulse, she gave in to the next and brushed her lips against his in a soft kiss that he responded to immediately if a bit tentatively.
"Are you sure you're alright, sweetheart?" he insisted, lifting a hand to cradle the back of her head. "Headache?" She nodded and his expression turned concerned. "Fog?"
"Not that bad yet." she promised, stepping back a little, finally taking in him properly. He had shaved, there were tiny cuts on his jaw and chin. And he was wearing a three-pieces suit in navy blue she had never seen before… No tie, though. But shiny golden pin at the wrists… Cufflinks, she remembered belatedly, that was the proper name. "You have new clothes…"
She wondered if he had gotten them back from the penthouse or…
"Plutarch." he groaned as if it explained everything. "Speaking of…" He pulled a slightly crumpled stack of papers from inside his jacket. "Showed them to him, he says everything checks out so I signed them for you…" He put the papers in her hands. She appreciated that. That he didn't give them directly to her father but left the ultimate decision in her hands, even if it was mostly an illusion of choice. She thanked him with a smile. His eyes were twinkling a little. He tugged on one of her styled loose curls – her mother and the hairdresser had championed the cause of straightening her hair but Haymitch loved the curls so she had been adamant that was what she wanted. "I like the new hair, princess…"
Her mother cleared her throat. "If the two of you are quite finished behaving like you have not seen each other in days…"
Haymitch didn't bother to hide he was making a face but let Effie lead him to the couch and sat down, accepting the glass Elindra handed him. Effie, meanwhile, gave the papers to her father who briefly checked all the signatures were there before putting them aside.
What followed was painful small-talk that Haymitch was very bad at. Effie was too tired to contribute much so she mostly leaned against his side, ignoring her mother's disapproving looks or her thinly veiled reminders that ladies should sit straight in public.
Lyssa's return was a welcomed distraction, even when she pecked the air next to Haymitch's cheek instead of offering a verbal greeting. Effie did her best to bury the hint of jealousy.
"We should relocate to the dining-room." Tadius suggested after a mercifully short while.
Elindra frowned, her eyes darting to the clock. "It is still early to have dinner served. And we have more amuse-bouche coming…"
That word made no sense to Effie but she figured her mother meant the little bites of food a waiter kept bringing on a tray.
"It would be better to have dinner served before your daughter falls asleep, Elindra." her father replied with a touch of humor.
Her mother's gaze flew straight to her and Effie flushed, sitting straighter, a little self-conscious. She hadn't realized she was leaning so much into Haymitch's chest or that her eyelids had been fluttering shut, lulled to slumber by the familiar comforting feeling of his voice rumbling under her ear.
"I'm sorry. It was a long day." She winced, doing her best to stifle a yawn.
"Very well." Elindra conceded, sounding a bit pained. "You are still convalescent, after all. Let's move to the dining-room. Haymitch, a word before dinner if you would be so kind. Tadius, I am borrowing your study."
Her father waved his hand in a permissive manner. "If you must. Do not disturb my desk."
"I am hardly going to snoop, now, am I?" Elindra huffed.
Tadius shot her a look, eyebrows raising slowly. "No, I suppose you did enough of that yesterday when you were in there to… What was it? Tidy up?"
"I do not like what you are implying." Elindra retorted. "And in front of a guest, no less."
"He is not a guest, he is our future son-in-law, he should know where we stand in this family." her father dismissed. "And you should know I never imply anything, Lin…"
Lyssandra, clearly fighting a laugh, hooked her arm under Effie's and dragged her away toward the dining-room.
"Do not mind them… They have been awfully playful with each other since the war." her sister whispered. "Being stuck together in the house has been good for their marriage, I think." Lyssa shook her head. "It is quite disturbing sometimes. He never used to call her by that nickname… Not since I was very little in any case."
Was it disturbing? Effie was a bit thrown. Was this unprecedented behavior for their parents?
"What are they like, then? Usually?" she asked, frowning a little.
"Polite." Lyssa deadpanned, leading her to one of the padded chair that surrounded a huge rectangular dinner table that could have easily sat a dozen people. "Sit here. Haymitch will be on the other side…"
"Can't he sit next to me?" she cut her sister's explanation off.
"I am supposed to sit next to you." Lyssandra said. "There is a proper way to do sitting arrangements, you know, and…"
"Please?" she interrupted again.
Her sister's jaw snapped shut and Effie had the feeling she wanted to comment on rude interruptions.
"Let them sit together." Tadius decided, walking in after them and clearly having heard the last bit of that conversation. "This is a family dinner. We won't stand on ceremony."
It seemed like a lot of ceremony, however. There were fresh flowers all over the table, candles in gleaming candelabras, four lines of cutlery on either side of her two plates, three glasses, a napkin folded like a swan… If this was a family dinner, she was curious to know what something more formal would look like…
Or maybe she wasn't curious at all.
Because her head hurt, she was really tired and she didn't like that Elindra and Haymitch were taking so long wherever her mother had dragged him.
"What did Mother want with him?" she asked, cutting in the light chatter Lyssa and Tadius were keeping about the search for a new nanny for the children.
Rude, Effie reminded herself. Again.
"A little conversation, I believe." her father hummed, dismissive in every way. "Do not worry. She will not chase him away. You were quite clear he was not optional, Euphemia."
"I am sure it will all be fine, darling." Lyssandra promised. "Would you like some water? You look a bit pale…"
She accepted the water and sipped from the big fancy stemmed glass slowly, feeling terribly awkward. She didn't really know how you were supposed to hold a glass like that but, given their discreet glances, it probably wasn't the way she was doing it.
Finally, after endless minutes, Haymitch reappeared, aiming straight for the chair next to hers. There was still a lot of space between them. Everyone was sitting very far from each other and they would have to speak very loud to be heard with her parents sitting on each head of the long table. It made no sense to her. Why not all sit together?
"Is everything alright?" she asked, as quietly as she could, outstretching a hand for him.
"Yeah. I'll tell you later." he offered, squeezing her fingers.
It was all he could say before Elindra made her grand entrance, followed by a ballet of waiters carrying plates.
"You will have to excuse the food… We did what we could." Elindra declared, looking genuinely embarrassed even though what the waiter put in front of her looked… wonderful.
The food at the Mansion was one hundred times better than what they were given in Thirteen but this… This was delicious and, suddenly famished, Effie pounced on it. She didn't realize three people were covertly staring until she looked up from her empty plate to find her family wincing. Haymitch looked like he was trying not to laugh too.
Self-conscious, she carefully crossed her fork and knife on the empty plate.
"It's very good." Haymitch said, after clearing his throat, bringing her family's slightly horrified eyes to him. "Food in Thirteen was terrible and we didn't get as much as we wanted."
"Oh." Elindra commented, delicately cutting a bit of her entrée. "Do you mean to tell me they starved you, Effie dear?"
"Hardly." Haymitch spat. "They're not the Capitol."
There was a tensed silence for a short while.
Effie had finished first and, clearly, had eaten too fast. She was a bit embarrassed to find her behavior had been wrong – or maybe not wrong but off – but she was also hungry and the food was good and… It felt like the tea lesson all over again… No matter how much her mother had tried to show her, she hadn't really been able to imitate her graceful hold of the teacup… And nobody had never cared how quickly or slowly she ate at dinner before. In Thirteen, they all ate together in a joyful chaos, they didn't sit prim like this… It was… weird.
"Well." her mother huffed after a moment. "You certainly can afford to gain a couple of pounds but you may want to watch what…"
"No." Haymitch snapped, glaring at Elindra like she had personally insulted him. "You're not going there. You're not putting that kind of shit in her head. Not again."
Her mother pursed her lips.
A hard beat started drumming at Effie's temple. The itch wasn't too bad but the headache… She swallowed hard, her mouth suddenly dry, the entrée sitting uncomfortably on her stomach…
"You will mind your language under my roof." her mother chided. "And you know very well if she does not watch her weight…"
"She never needed to watch her fucking weight." Haymitch retorted, clearly refusing to back down.
"Let's not argue." Tadius cut in firmly. "You are distressing her."
Effie gritted her teeth, not really liking the fact he was talking about her as if she wasn't sitting there. But she couldn't refute the fact that she was distressed.
The whole conversation felt…
Her weight.
What was it about her weight…
She turned toward Haymitch because he was the only one she fully trusted at that table. "Why do I need to watch my weight?"
"You don't." he answered immediately. "That's bullshit, sweetheart."
"Doctor Brown says I need to gain weight." she countered.
Something akin to relief flashed on his face. "Yeah, exactly." He flashed a nasty warning look in her mother's direction. "We need you to gain weight. We need you to be healthy."
"I hardly think…" Elindra huffed.
"You made your opinion clear, Elindra." Tadius chimed in again, with a touch more of steel.
"I happen to think you can never be too thin." her mother insisted anyway.
"Effie looks lovely." Lyssa cut in. An obvious lie.
"I look like a corpse." she scoffed, not quite caring that her family looked shocked by that comparison. Maybe not the most savory at the dinner table… "But less than before." she amended. It was important to try and have a positive look on things, she reminded herself. And while she was still far too skinny, her ribs were less pronounced when she was naked now.
"You look perfect to me." Haymitch declared in a tone that definitely closed the conversation.
Tadius quickly redirected it to politics, despite her mother's objection that it wasn't a proper topic for dinner. Effie didn't really follow and she didn't make an effort to. She focused on the next plate that had just been placed in front of her, imitating her sister when she picked her fork and knives from the assortment and making an effort to eat more slowly.
"Careful with the fishbone." Haymitch warned quietly, as an aside.
The fish smelled very good and she really wanted to savor it but it was hard to eat. She tried her best to follow her mother's and her sister's lead without seeming to but taking the skin off and then delicately taking out the fishbone was asking for too much coordination on her part. After a couple of minutes, her fish looked decimated, the tablecloth was stained, and she was so frustrated she put her fork down without even trying a bite.
Haymitch acted absolutely natural when he reached for her plate and exchanged it with his, his fish skinless and without bones, keeping up his part of the conversation. Everybody pretended nothing was out of the ordinary but she still flushed.
The fish, once skinned and bones removed, was very good. Not her favorite but good all the same.
She was feeling quite full when they brought the next plate. Meat, this time. It was tender and almost melted on her tongue. It wasn't a hardship to eat but she wondered how much longer this dinner would go on.
The headache was quickly approaching the limits of what she could manage and she was wondering just how rude it would be if she just stood up and went in search of the purse she had brought. It was empty saved for the bottle of pills in case of emergency…
She didn't have to, as it turned out, because Haymitch fished another bottle from his pocket and handed it to her. He didn't make a big show of it, he made it look very natural… She was so grateful she brushed her fingers against his when she took it.
Nobody commented on that either but she could tell her family looked at him with something like… She wasn't sure if it was growing respect or maybe approbation but… The fact that he seemed to be able to anticipate everything she needed was clearly working in his favor.
Not that she really cared about their opinion.
She swallowed two pills with a new glass of water, hoping it would be enough to kill the headache quickly.
She nodded and smiled when her father told her he had located a high-profile neurosurgeon and was trying to convince him the city was safe enough to come back. She even thanked him. When it came down to it, though, she let Haymitch handle that conversation.
When the waiter cleared the empty plates – or mostly empty, her mother and Lyssa had barely touched their food all night and her father hadn't finished his, while she and Haymitch had eaten everything – she hoped it was all over and they could leave but there turned out to be cake.
It was brought to the table, a three layers chocolate monster with strawberries and whipped cream, that immediately made her mouth water even though she felt almost uncomfortably full.
"Your favorite." Elindra declared, very satisfied, as if she needed congratulations for knowing that. "And champagne. Or sparkly water for those of us who do not partake." The waiter went around the room filling the third glass with sparkly bubbly golden liquid… Effie sort of wanted to taste it but she was treated to sparkly water instead. Her mother cleared her throat and tapped on her flute with her spoon. The clinging was hard on her headache but Effie tried not to wince too much. "Now… Haymitch has something to say."
Haymitch looked startled. "No, I don't."
"Yes." her mother insisted, her smile almost predatory. "You do."
"No, I don't." he grumbled more firmly.
"Do not be difficult, Haymitch dear, it is tiring." Elindra retorted.
"If I'm being difficult, you're being a…" Haymitch snapped back, only stopping at the last moment. Effie was pretty sure an insult had been about to follow. Instead, Haymitch looked as if he was swallowing something sour. "Look, I appreciate it but I'm not gonna make a circus of it."
Elindra stared straight at him, not battling an eyelash. "I would hardly call this a circus."
"I can safely say there will never be another boring family dinner…" Tadius murmured, apparently for Lyssa's ears only.
Her sister briefly covered her mouth with her hand to hide her smile but quickly composed herself.
"Mother…" Effie tried to cut in, unwilling to let Haymitch being bullied into whatever this was.
"Stay out of it, Euphemia." her mother ordered. "Haymitch, you told me your intentions were honorable, you told me you were already engaged, so be a dear and make it official before I lose my patience."
Oh, was this about that?
Effie sighed. "It's already official." Then she frowned, glancing at Haymitch. "Do we need to do something I forgot about to actually make it official?"
"Asking the father of the bride's blessing would be proper." Tadius remarked.
Haymitch rolled his eyes. "I'm not asking anyone's blessing but hers. I value my balls, thank you."
"Exactly." Effie huffed. "Although, language."
"Haymitch." Elindra snapped. "Do not make me regret this. I insist."
It was plain to her that Haymitch was beyond irate. He fished something out of his pants' pocket and slammed it on the table between them. His hand lingered a second, as if he regretted giving in, and when he took it away Effie saw an old-looking square velvet box.
She frowned, looking first at him and then at her mother. "Is that for me?"
Haymitch cleared his throat, obviously ill-at-ease. "Wanted to do it just the two of us…"
He spared her mother a glare but it didn't seem to disturb her at all. Elindra and Lyssa were watching the scene unfold with controlled glee.
He pushed the box closer to her. "So… Still wanna marry me?"
"Yes." she answered immediately, without even looking inside the box.
"Are you not going to get down on one knee?" Elindra pouted. "That is the proper way to do this, you know."
"When I get down on my knees for her, it's not suitable for an audience." he retorted with far too much aggressiveness. It was to cover his embarrassment, Effie knew. Still, she flushed at the absolutely inappropriate innuendo.
"Really!" Elindra protested, outraged. "Your ruffian manners know no bounds! This is…"
"Oh, you got me a ring!" Effie suddenly understood, completely ignoring the others. She grabbed the box and opened it a little eagerly. She didn't remember ever having gotten a present before. It was a nice feeling. And the ring was beautifully simple. Square diamond, white gold band… "I loved it." she declared even though she wasn't sure her taste in jewelry was reliable.
"It was your grandmother's ring. My mother's." Elindra immediately informed her, before Haymitch could answer. "I know how much you loved your grandfather and you told me you recalled some things about him… It is quite simple, of course…"
"Well, he had just been disowned." Tadius chided in flatly, lifting his empty glass of wine to stress the point and making Effie suspect he had been indulging a little too much. "She was just a District girl, after all."
"Capitol born." her mother hissed. "She may have had District parents but she was born in the Capitol."
"Semantics." Tadius waved the empty glass. "It probably looked expensive to her…"
"Anyway…" Elindra shot her husband a warning glare. "I thought you would like to have it, Euphemia, and since Haymitch did not have a ring yet… You complained so much when I got rid of your grandfather's things and you made such a fuss when Lyssandra named her first born Timotheo…"
Her mother could carry on an entire conversation by herself and Effie frowned, confused by the amount of information she had just been given, when all she wanted to do was actually gush on the ring and maybe kiss Haymitch and be happy…
"Wait… What do you mean your mother was a District girl?" Haymitch was frowning too. He looked from Elindra to Tadius in the sudden silence that followed.
"It was before the Games truly gained popularity…" Elindra dismissed awkwardly. "It was not illegal yet. Quite unwise, of course, but they fancied themselves star-crossed lovers. For the good it did them. Ridiculous nonsense. A mistake, really."
"You so rarely talk about her…" Lyssa commented, a bit carefully. "Grandfather told us a little, of course, but…"
"I hardly ever think about her." Elindra dismissed. "We are Capitols. There is little point wondering about the lesser… connections of the family."
"District connections, you mean." Haymitch snorted but he was still looking at Elindra with some sort of horrified wonder. "What District?"
Effie's mother was clearly done with the topic so it was her father who answered: "Two. Not as shameful as it could have been."
"Not as shameful as Twelve, for sure." Haymitch deadpanned.
"That isn't what Father meant." Lyssa was quick to salvage. "We are so very happy you are becoming part of this family…"
This was an exaggeration, Effie decided, a huge one.
She focused on her ring instead of their bickering, carefully plucking it from its velvet nest. There was an engraving inside but she could only identify the letters and not… "What does it mean?"
She dragged her chair closer to Haymitch so he could see the words…
"Alice and Timotheo." he read for her.
"You can probably have the engraving covered with your own names." Tadius suggested.
"That doesn't seem right." Effie frowned, protectively cradling the ring in her palm.
And she was happy to have this. Even as her head started filling with the vague melody of a violin… She lifted her left hand, briefly hesitating on the correct finger… Haymitch gently took the ring from her and slipped it on the second to last finger on her hand. It was bit loose but not enough that she was scared it would fall.
"Can get you another one if you want." he hesitated. "One that's just yours."
"I don't really care. I didn't need it." She shrugged honestly. "And I like this one. I like that it has meaning…"
She liked that it was a connection to a history she had lost.
It felt fitting to have a ring full of memories when she had none.
Like a link to the past.
His lips twitched. "Never thought you'd be so easy about engagement rings, you know." The smile turned into a small wince. "Then again, never thought we'd ever be talking engagement rings either so… Shows what I know."
Spontaneously, she grabbed his chin and planted a kiss on his lips. The budding tension in his shoulders immediately vanished and he leaned in further to deepen the kiss, apparently not caring that everyone was watching with tangible awkwardness. She didn't really care either. His lips were the only thing that mattered at that moment.
"This was the worst proposal I have ever seen." Elindra huffed, eventually, breaking the spell. "Congratulations. I suppose."
They all lifted their glasses for a toast and her mother gestured for the waiter to serve the cake…
Effie didn't put her chair back where it was supposed to be, she pulled her plate and fork closer instead, happy to be near Haymitch. The cake was the best thing she had ever eaten even though Haymitch muttered about the mystery of strawberries in winter… The answer was apparently private hothouses, or so her father claimed.
Lyssa and Elindra were talking a mile a minute about wedding preparations, Tadius jokingly interjecting from time to time that he wasn't paying for this or that, Haymitch and his increasing panic cutting in regularly to tell them – and then remind them again and again – that they wanted something simple and they weren't doing the big wedding thing…
Effie didn't really contribute to the conversation. Her head had fallen on Haymitch's shoulder and she was content to just listen. Her headache had faded to a light buzz again. Not the best but not the worst.
"Could I tempt you to a game of chess, Haymitch?" Tadius offered eventually. "You do play chess, I believe?"
"Yeah, but… Another time, maybe?" Haymitch answered, his arm wrapping around her shoulders. "I think we should go."
"So soon?" Elindra lamented, at least until her eyes landed on Effie who made a valiant effort to look more awake than she was. "You could always stay the night, you know. We have guest rooms. It is not the Presidential Mansion but we can make you very comfortable."
"Thanks but we should go." Haymitch said firmly.
After that, it was a flurry of goodbyes that she was far too tired to properly follow. Haymitch grabbed the case of clothes Lyssa had prepared, joking about how she wouldn't have enough room for all of it again, and then they were off to the military looking jeep parked in front of the house. There was a soldier waiting behind the wheel, a cigarette wedged between two fingers.
The smell of that cigarette woke up things in Effie's mind but her brain was too exhausted to follow the trail…
They sat on the back seat, Haymitch's arms immediately closing around her when she curled up against his chest.
"Enjoyed your day?" he asked hesitantly.
"I think so…" she mumbled, eyes already closed. "They made an effort."
"That's nice." he commented with forced detachment.
"Yes…" She turned the ring around her finger with her thumb. It felt weird to have a ring on… She wasn't used to it. "But what does it mean when your family has to make an effort to like you?"
She didn't need to see to know there was a wince on his face. "Probably nothing good. But I guess if they're trying… Ain't saying we all become best friends but… Family's important, yeah? And if they turn back into assholes… We don't have to stick around." She hummed her approval of that plan. His fingers started running through her hair in a familiar soothing rhythm. "One thing though… Don't let your mother put into your head that you're not perfect, yeah? If she starts some bullshit about diets or watching what you eat or the way you look… Ignore her. Promise me."
"I do not see how it is any of her business what I eat." she grumbled. "I was hungry and she gave me food… What was I supposed to do with it? Stare at it?" She leaned back a little so she could get a glimpse of his face. "Is that something I used to do? Watching what I eat?"
"She put it into your head that you weren't gorgeous." He sighed. "And that ain't something I'm ever gonna forgive her for. We're not going there again."
She rolled her eyes but rested her head back against his chest. "I know I'm not gorgeous."
Nobody could look the way she did in the mirror and be considered gorgeous.
"Effie…" he growled.
"But I love that you think I am anyway." she finished with a kiss on his chest he probably didn't feel through the multiple layers of fabric he was wearing.
She must have fallen asleep because when she opened her eyes again she was safely cradled in Haymitch's arms and the door to their suite was squeaking shut behind him. She nuzzled his neck while he carried her all the way to the bed, not bothering with the lights.
"You want to sleep like this or you want me to find you pajamas?" he asked in a soft voice.
The leggings' waistband was digging into her full stomach and she groaned. "I want to be naked…" She flashed him a sleepy grin. There was just enough moonlight spilling from the window that he probably caught it. "I'm all smooth everywhere now, you know…"
He snorted. "Are you, now, sweetheart?"
She hummed as she nodded, happy to let him undress her, happier still when his hands curled behind her thighs and ran all the way down to her ankles…
"See?" She shot him a triumphant, albeit tired, look. "I knew you liked it better with grooming…"
He muffled his chuckles against her stomach, planting a kiss there before pulling her shirt off. "I like you better any way."
She turned that over in her head and then groaned, wrinkling her nose. "That sentence makes no sense."
He got rid of her bra and she was finally naked, with him looming over her… It was close to perfect in her book, except he was still clothed… She tugged on his jacket…
"Aren't you taking that off?" she complained.
"Bossy." he accused with a smirk.
"Always, darling." she retorted.
The pet name passed her lips and then vanished from her head, leaving behind the same familiar feeling of frustration.
She didn't linger on it though.
She enjoyed the sight of him getting undressed in front of her, light or not.
She also enjoyed it when he curled up behind her in bed, warming her up with his body.