The following weeks of September were filled with hours spent in classrooms and textbooks. All of the teachers followed Professor McGonagall's example and began assigning daily homework. Most of them required light reading, but I found myself reading ahead each day, and near the end of the month, I had finished each textbook, front to back. Drunk on my new knowledge, I was the first to unfailingly raise my hand in class to give the answers. At first it stunned and impressed my teachers and classmates, but it was short-lived as students began calling me a 'show-off' and 'teacher's pet'. Even my professors gently asked me to 'give the other students a chance to speak'. Half of the time, the students' answers were incorrect, to which I would quickly supply the right answer. More than half of the time, this drew rolled eyes or groans of annoyance. I ignored them all. I wanted to impress my teachers and do my absolute best at Hogwarts. Mother would accept nothing less than perfection.

One afternoon while Lily and I were in the library doing homework in the beginning of October, she cleared her throat loudly. I glanced up from my copy of Advanced Charms for Starters, placing my finger on the opened spine so that I wouldn't lose my place. "Hmm?"

Lily looked exasperated. "Amber, this is getting a little out of hand."

"What is?" I asked innocently, my gaze already drawn back to the alluring pages of the book.

Lily rolled her eyes. "That! What you're doing right now!"

"Doing what?" I said vaguely, lost in the paragraph about the Color-Changing Charm. I wondered how my honey-blonde hair would look in cotton-candy pink instead.

"That!" Lily cried, tugging the book away. I scrabbled for it, but she held it out of arm's reach. "Give it back, Lily. I was just studying."

She shook her head. "You weren't studying. You're doing more entertainment reading. You have an addiction to books, Amber. I don't think it's healthy."

I felt the first twinges of annoyance. "Come on, Lily. Give it back, please."

Her green eyes sparked. "I'm worried about you, Amber."

Rolling my eyes, I reached for the book againb. Lily pushed it farther away.

"Come on, enough. I'm not done with this chapter."

Lily leaned closer, so that I could see the darker green flecks of color in her leafy eyes. She didn't look angry. She looked concerned and determined. "Amber, just talk to me for a minute. You hardly talk at all."

A flush worked its way into my face. I could feel the heat on my skin. "I don't have much to say." But I did. I wanted to talk to people. But they would shoot me down for my ideas. They would laugh at me, call me names, or hassle me. Just like James and Sirius did. They wouldn't take what I had to say for truth or meaning. They would just walk away. Talk is cheap, Amber. Mum had said when I was a little girl telling her about my first day in the second grade at the local Muggle school. I had never forgotten it.

I tried looking away from her burning gaze, but it followed me. Lily had me pinned with her gaze like a spider with a fly in its web. I couldn't escape. Not until she had gotten what she wanted.

"Amber, I get that you're shy. Or that you just don't want to talk. But I don't think it's just that. I know you want to interact."

"I like books." I said defensively. "I like reading."

"Yes, I get that." Lily validated. "But you're not hearing me. You hide in your books. This last month, have you ever even been to any of the extracurriculars? Professor Flitwick mentioned he's looking for more choir singers."

Did she really need to talk to me about this? I just wanted to read. "I can't sing."

"Well, you should at least try. Let him be the judge of that. Or, you could try out for Quidditch."

I made a face. "They never let first years onto the team."

Lily let out an exasperated sigh. "Yes, but how do you know unless you try? If you're good, they'll bend the rules." She gave me a meaningful look. "At least try something, Amber. Please. It's not good that all you do is read and go to class. There's more to Hogwarts than that."

Was there? It was a boarding school, not summer camp. I nodded once and reached for my book again. "Can I finish reading please?"

"Only if you promise to try at least one extracurricular. It's not good for you to be so disconnected."

Lily was dead set on this. I sighed in defeat. "Fine. I'll try out for something. But I probably won't get in."

Lily smiled widely, triumphant. "Great! I want to hear about it, Amber. I mean it."

I knew Lily would hound me until I did what she asked, so the next day I made my way down to Professor Flitwick's classroom. He was busily scrawling down notes with a quill on a roll of parchment. He looked up as I approached his desk. "Miss Harkstone! What brings you to my office?" He seemed open, friendly.

I offered him a small smile. "I was hoping I could try out for the school choir."

Professor Flitwick's smile broadened. "Of course, of course! We're always looking for more singers in our choir. We meet Mondays, Thursdays, and Sundays at five p.m. in the Great Hall. We have dinner right after. Practice runs for one hour."

"What about auditions?"

Professor Flitwick smiled. "Well, those were two weeks ago."

I felt a small stab of disappointment, like a pinprick in a balloon. I deflated slightly. "Oh." Despite my aversion to extracurriculars, I was discouraged. A tiny part of me was looking forward to being a part of a group outside of class.

Professor Flitwick nodded. "Yes, you missed the deadline. But we'll never turn down new members. In fact, you can audition right now."

I felt heat creep into my face. "What?"

Professor Flitwick set down his quill. He smiled at me expectantly. "You can audition here. I am the conductor, after all!" He gave a light titter.

My heart was sprinting, as if it could escape this scrutinizing performance. Already, my palms were slick with nervous sweat. "I don't know."

Professor Flitwick shrugged. "Don't worry about it, Miss Harkstone. Just sing."

But my throat was so tight that my voice felt like a violin string, pulled taut enough to snap. "I don't think I can sing right now." I said in a quavering voice.

Professor Flitwick nodded again, looking sympathetic. "It's alright, dear. Maybe you can try again when you feel ready."

A part of me protested at cowing at a challenge. I wanted to look my fear dead in the eyes and say No! I will do this. You can't win! Taking a deep breath, I sat down at a desk near the door while Professor Flitwick bowed his head and went back to composing his notes for his next lesson. I listened to the sound of his quill scratching into the soft, oily surface of the parchment. The grandfather clock behind him swung back and forth, the pendulum clucking with each swing. It kept time like a metronome.

I opened my mouth and softly began to sing.

Lord, make me an instrument of Your peace;

Where there is hatred, let me sow love;

Where there is injury, pardon;

Where there is discord, harmony;

Where there is error, truth;

Where there is doubt, faith;

Where there is despair, hope;

Where there is darkness, light;

And where there is sadness, joy.

O Divine Master, Grant that I may not so much seek

To be consoled as to console;

To be understood as to understand;

To be loved as to love.

For it is in giving that we receive;

It is in pardoning that we are pardoned;

And it is in dying that we are born to eternal life. Amen…

My voice shook at the beginning, but as I finished each line, my timbre eased and steadied. I finished quietly on the last word, drawing it out with a vibrato. I kept my head down, studying my black robes and their many folds. I couldn't dare to meet Professor Flitwick's eyes. After all, how many students had the gall to use a song from church?

The room had quieted. The grandfather clock still ticked, but the scrabbling quill pen had stopped. After several beats of silence, I rose to my feet and started for the door. At least I had tried.

"Practice is at five on those days, Miss Harkstone." Professor Flitwick said from behind me. "Don't be late."

I turned and faced the Head of my House. He looked at me curiously. I felt as if I was glowing at his approval.

"I'll see you at five tomorrow night." I promised, and swept out of the door.

Later that evening in the Great Hall, Lily joined me at the Ravenclaw table, sandwiched between me and Angelina Azadian, who was kind enough to stand up two weeks prior for her when one Ravenclaw reminded us of the no-shared-tables rule. "We're creating alliances between the Houses," Angelina had remarked, "and that gives us two legs up on Slytherin for the House Cup."

Slytherin had won the House Cup for the past two years. Hufflepuff had won three years running before that. Gryffindor and Ravenclaw were shamefully behind.

"We'll dethrone them." Lily promised. "Unless Ravenclaw can come up with enough points."

Ravenclaw was in third place this year. Gryffindor was last, thanks to James and Sirius's antics constantly costing them points.

"Did you try?" Lily asked me over a plate of salad. She didn't have to specify.

"I did." I said as I swallowed a spoonful of rice and mushroom soup.

"Did what?" Angelina questioned as she poured herself a glass of icy water.

I shook my head self-deprecatingly. "I tried out for the school choir."

Angelina's eyes lit up. "I didn't know you could sing!"

I shrugged. "I can't. Not that well."

"Well enough!" Lily jumped in. "You're an amazing singer, Amber. I've overheard you."

Heat rushed to my face. "You have?" I had never sung in front of her. Not that I knew of.

She was grinning. "Of course. You sing when you study sometimes. Or when you read. You just never notice it."

"Brilliant." I moaned, hiding my face in my arms.

"I want to hear you!" Angelina encouraged. She was on the verge of transitioning from acquaintance to friend.

I shook my head hard, rubbing my forehead against the sleeves of my robes. "Not ever."

"You will at concerts, Angelina." Lily reminded her. "Amber is very humble."

"I'm not that either." I mumbled from my arms. "I'm just…"

"The top of our class?" Lily offered.

"Noooo…"

"Brilliant?"

"Noooo…"

"Talented?"

"I'm just… Amber."

Lily and Angelina laughed.

I raised my head and finished my soup. There was the sound of wings fluttering overhead, and I looked up just in time to see a white envelope drop onto Lily's empty plate.

Her eyes brightened as she tore open the letter, her eyes scanning the lines eagerly. Her smile faded as she reached the bottom.

"What's wrong?" I asked, concerned.

She set the letter down, a sad look on her pretty face. "Petunia still hasn't written to me. It's just my parents." At my own dismal expression, she looked mortified. "I'm so sorry, Amber. I didn't mean it that way."

The tide of sorrow rose up in me again, extinguishing my joy over choir acceptance. "It's fine, Lily. It isn't a big deal." My own parents hadn't written me a single letter since my arrival at Hogwarts. And I had been here for over a month.

Lily looked melancholy. "It isn't fair that they don't write you, Amber."

"They're busy." I said, making excuses for them. Dad really was busy with the Ministry, and I knew Mum would be devoting a hundred and fifty percent of herself to Virginia. Of course, that meant no time to write a quick letter to her firstborn.

"Wait." Angelina piped up. "That's your owl, Amber. He's coming this way."

I frowned. "What?" She must be mistaken. Soren never flew down for me. He never had anything to give me.

But Angelina was right. A white square was clenched in the black beak of my barn owl. He flared his snowy wings and landed on the table, knocking over an empty glass and steadying himself with his brown flecked tail.

"Still working on flying, I see." I remarked to the young owl, who nipped my finger playfully as I pulled the letter free from his mouth.

"Is it from your parents?" Lily asked, looking anxious.

I shared her feeling of apprehension. My hands shook slightly as I opened the top of the envelope. "I think so." I pulled out a small folded sheet of paper. Written inside was a messy child's scrawl.

Dear Amber,

Hi! It's Naomi. Mum said that you were probably too busy for letters, but I wanted to write you one anyway. Romulus chased off two coyotes so Dad put up more spells. We are getting another cat soon because we have lots of pixies and they are annoying. I really like my P.E. class at school. I painted a picture of our family and I want you to see it when you come home for Christmas. Mum said you might have too much studying to do for Christmas and will probably have to stay at Hogwarts. I hope she is wrong. I want you to come home.

Virginia says hi. She isn't feeling well. Mum moved her bed into her room and moved Dad into Virginia's old room so she could take care of her. Mummy didn't want me to tell you this but I am telling you anyway. I think it's weird but Virginia coughs a lot and can't sleep unless Mummy is there and gives her special medicine.

I hope we don't have to send her away to a hospital.

Please write back soon. I miss you so much. I am going to cry now. Bye.

Naomi Heather Harkstone

P.S. I love you

I let the letter flutter back onto the table. Soren was helping himself to a leftover bowl of rice.

"What's the matter?" Lily said quietly. "You look sad."

I blinked hard, trying to force the tears back. I hadn't heard from home in a month. Not from my parents. But from my little six-year-old sister, who was smart enough to spell every word correctly but who didn't know why things were the way they were. Especially with Virginia.

I closed my eyes, feeling sick. So Mum was finally considering putting my younger sister into a hospital. I wondered if Mum would go with her and leave Naomi alone.

"Amber?" Lily asked. "Are you alright?"

I bit my lip hard. "I'm fine, Lily." I lied. I was crushed by a wave of homesickness so strong that it nearly suffocated me. Get a grip, Amber. It was just a letter. Not a death sentence. Everything is okay.

It had been so easy to pretend my life was idyll when I was here, learning and reading. I hadn't had to consider Virginia's failing health or my family's dangerous alienation from one another. And I hadn't heard so much as a word from Mum.

Lily reached for my arm. "I'm sorry, Amber."

"I'm-"

"SIRIUS BLACK!"

The female voice split the air like thunder; the entire Great Hall fell silent as a graveyard. A moment later, a fork clattered to a plate. I whirled around, zeroing in on the perpetrator: the lanky boy with dark hair and dark eyes. The bane of Professor McGonagall. Sirius Black.

But this time it wasn't Professor McGonagall who was giving him a good tongue-lashing. This voice was female but unfamiliar. In Sirius's hand was a blood-red letter, which yanked itself free from his grip and curved into a mouth with huge red lips and gleaming white teeth made out of the paper bent into a snarl. For once, Sirius actually looked scared.

"HOW DARE YOU BETRAY OUR FAMILY LIKE THIS?! YOU HAVE BROUGHT SHAME UPON MY FAMILY FOR BEING SORTED INTO A HOUSE OTHER THAN SLYTHERIN. A GRYFFINDOR, IN THE LINE OF PHINEAS NIGELLUS BLACK? HE IS ROLLING IN HIS GRAVE AT YOUR DISLOYALTY! IF YOU THINK CHOOSING BRAWNS OVER BRAINS IS GOING TO GET YOU ANYWHERE IN LIFE, YOU ARE HORRIBLY MISTAKEN, SIRIUS BLACK! YOUR FATHER HAS THE MIND TO PUT YOU ON THE TRAIN STRAIGHT HOME! I HAVE NOT DECIDED, BUT YOU WILL KNOW WHEN I DO!

The letter spat ink in his face, and then ripped itself to shreds on his plate of half-eaten dinner. He exchanged a look with James Potter, who sat to his right.

They both burst into laughter.

Two boys flanking them did as well. Gradually, the rest of the Great Hall returned to its normal noise and atmosphere, though several students shot Sirius Black curious looks. Professor McGonagall's gaze did not leave Sirius Black from the moment he received his shrieking letter.

"What was that?" Angelina exclaimed as James playfully threw shreds of paper at Sirius.

"That was a Howler." I said gravely. "They're recorded messages. Usually when people are too angry for just writing words. It gets the point across." I wrinkled my nose at Sirius's jolly demeanor. "Usually."

"You read too much." Lily joked, plucking a strawberry from a plate. Soren helped himself to them.

"At least I'll ace my tests." I countered.

"If you're not careful, I'll have to consider that a challenge." Lily teased, eyes gleaming.

Angelina nodded toward the laughing boys, who were enjoying their breakfast after the loud interruption by Sirius's supposed mother. A boy beside them with light brown hair and green eyes was watching us. He looked away quickly when the three of us turned to look back at him.

"Who's that?" Lily wondered.

"Hopefully, nothing like those two." I muttered darkly as Sirius and James chugged sparkling water and had a belching contest. They both received black looks from McGonagall from the other side of the room.

"Disgusting." Angelina added.

Rolling my eyes at the display, I picked up my book bag and rose to my feet. "I'll see you later, guys." I said.

Lily followed me. "I'll come with you. I'm done with breakfast anyway."

Out of the corner of my eye I saw James Potter watch Lily. I frowned. "I think James has a crush on you."

Lily made a gagging sound. "He's revolting. I'd rather have Frank Longbottom have a crush on me."

Frank, who had just walked by, turned beet red and hurried by. Lily looked horrified.

"I hope he didn't take that seriously!" She squeaked, her face turning the same shade of red as her hair.

I laughed as we left the Great Hall. "I doubt it. I think he fancies Alice Jenkins."

A greasy-haired boy fell into step beside us. Severus's dark eyes hardened when I met his gaze.

"Hello, Severus." I said politely.

He mumbled a greeting.

Lily brightened. "Hey, Sev! Why don't you come to class with us?"

Severus shrugged. He shared History of Magic class with Lily. "I suppose so."

Lily filled Severus in on her week while I parted ways to walk to Room 2E. The Charms class was taught by Professor Flitwick, who looked pleased to see me as I entered. Clearly, he was still happy to have added another member to his choir.

I took my usual seat in the front of the class, opening my textbook in preparation for the lesson. Professor Flitwick waited until the rest of the class had taken their seats, and then sat on the cushion on his high-backed chair, facing the three rows of tables.

"Good afternoon, class." He began, spreading open a thin notebook. "Congratulations on completing your first month of Charms class. Currently, our top student is Miss Harkstone."

There was a smattering of applause. I could feel my cheeks reddening.

"As a reward, she receives a charm for a charm bracelet! Get it? Charm bracelet?"

The class groaned.

"A reward will be given each month for the top of my class. Anyway, anyway," Professor Flitwick went on merrily, waving his wand so that a C-shaped moon charm floated to me, "I have decided that you have all become too comfortable. It's time to mix things up. Students learn the least when they are in their comfort zones."

I frowned slightly. Where was he going with this?

Professor Flitwick waved his wand again, and the chairs, with the students still inside, rose into the air. Alarmed, I gripped the seat with tight fingers. Two girls gasped in fear.

"I've changed the seating plan. So, hang on for a moment while we rearrange." The chairs floated above the desks and seemingly at random lowered themselves at different points of the room. Feeling my lunch churn in my stomach angrily, I closed my eyes and took a few deep breaths to ease the nausea. Drifting through the air definitely wasn't one of my chosen pastimes.

I was in the back of the room now, three different students near my old seat. I felt a flicker of sadness and loss. I had liked my place at the head of the class. I hadn't had any distractions from other students. I had been able to listen and watch Professor Flitwick head-on so that I hadn't missed anything in the lesson. It was going to be much more difficult to learn in this setting.

"Very good, very good." Flitwick said, pleased. "And who can tell me the spell that I used in order to make the chairs move by themselves?"

"Wingardium leviosa." I answered, tracing my finger absently against a whorl in the grain of the table. Two students turned around and shot me irritated looks.

Professor Flitwick cleared his throat. Apparently, sending me to the back of the room had been an attempt to keep me quiet. And it had failed.

"Yes, very good, Miss Harkstone. Five points to Ravenclaw. But, please, try and give other students a chance to answer and to earn rewards."

Rolling my eyes, I stayed silent.

Professor Flitwick squeaked, "Please turn to page 67, class. Miss Young, would you care to read the first page of this chapter?"

Hannah Young began reading the chapter that I had already cruised through twice, once a month ago, and the second time, last night for review. I scribbled drawings into the margin of my notebook, placing the quarter-moon charm in the spine of the book so I wouldn't lose it.

"That's a nice drawing," a quiet voice complimented from my left. I looked over sharply and realized, for the first time, that I was not alone back here.

He was a green-eyed, sandy-haired boy my age, with faint pink scars on his face, as if a big housecat had clawed him right in the cheek. A really big housecat. He didn't meet my gaze.

I studied his face for a moment. "You're the boy who was looking at me at breakfast."

He glanced at me, looking uncomfortable. "I didn't mean to."

I shrugged, returning to my drawing. It was a labyrinth of curves and waves. There was only one way out.

"I'm Amber." I said quietly as Hannah droned on. "I'm in Ravenclaw."

"I know." The boy replied. He was reading the textbook. He was following along with what Hannah was saying.

"What's your name?" I asked, remembering Lily's advice to put more effort into how my time was spent here at Hogwarts. Just be friendly, Amber. Don't tune yourself out into books.

But that was exactly what this boy was doing. He didn't even look up.

"Your name?" I tried again, getting annoyed. Was he ignoring me, or just not hearing me?

He slid a quick look at me. "Remus."

"Remus…?"

Now he was the one looking annoyed. "Who would like to read next?" Professor Flitwick asked. "Anyone?"

Remus raised his hand. "I will, Professor." He recited the next three paragraphs of the chapter, his green eyes never looking my way.

I felt miffed. Lily had asked me to put myself out there, to try and form new friends, to engage with my fellow students. And this boy acted like I was some kind of mosquito annoyingly buzzing around his head. Narrowing my eyes, I raised my hand for the next volunteer.

"Yes, yes, go right ahead, Amber."

Taking a deep breath, I blitzed through the next four pages in the same amount of time it had taken Hannah Young to read three-quarters of just one. I never mispronounced a word or missed one. Half of the class had turned in their seats to give me alarmed expressions. "…This is why it is essential to maintain control when performing charms, especially ones involving elements like fire or water, to avoid injury. Remember, casting charms is the first step in the journey to becoming a fully fledged witch or wizard." I finished the sentence triumphantly and looked up at Professor Flitwick in conclusion.

He looked a little pained. "Very nice, Miss Harkstone. Well… let's see…" He began scrawling movements and words on the chalkboard. "Can someone tell me what kind of spell I would use if I wanted to conjure fire?"

I opened my mouth to speak, but before I could, Remus said, "Incendio?"

I shut my mouth and gave him a glare. "What's your problem?" I hissed as Flitwick praised him.

Remus shrugged. "You don't have all the answers, Amber."

I felt a flush rise from my neck to my face. "I'm aware of that." I said tightly.

Remus gave me a measured look. "Are you?"

Seething, I bent over my notebook and began drawing a pair of moose clashing with their mighty antlers.

"Today's assignment in class is going to involve making fire!" Flitwick announced. "But we won't be making fire from thin air today. Today, we will be setting fire to these balls of crumpled newspaper. In addition, you'll be utilizing the levitation charm you learned last week to keep the ball floating in the air while it burns." Flitwick waved his wand, and each of us received a ball of crumpled paper that floated over from his desk. "As Mister Lupin said, you'll want to use the charm Incendio. This is the hand movement." He made an upside-down V with his left hand. "And remember not to use too much power. Keep it controlled. The student who can keep their ball burning until the end of class will earn five points for their House."

Several students said incendio at once. From my vantage point, I could watch the attempts. A few balls didn't light at all. One boy, Joshua Freeman, exploded his ball of newspaper with a tiny boom. Professor Flitwick sent him another ball of paper, waving his hand to clear away the smoke.

I set my drawing aside and pulled out my ash wand. I copied the V-shaped movement Flitwick had demonstrated and muttered, Incendio. I focused on the ball as it slowly smoldered.

Remus was burning his newspaper ball as well. His glowed like a miniature sun and gave off light and heat that warmed my hand. I glanced over, trying not to show how impressed I was.

But Lily had said to make friends.

"That's really good." I ventured.

Remus didn't even blink. He stared at his globe-shaped flame, waving his wand lightly. The ball was like a magnet, following the movements exactly.

Annoyed, I tried again. "You're good with Charms."

Remus pretended not to hear me.

Anger flooded through my veins, burning away the courtesy and kindness. "You're a jerk, you know that?"

Remus lifted a brow. He waved his wand, like a whip cracking, and instantly, my slowly-burning newspaper gave a tiny poof! and exploded into a pile of blackened ashes. They drifted slowly on top of my drawing of the two clashing moose.

I leapt to my feet. "What's your problem? I was only trying to be nice!"

Remus gave me a cold look. "I don't want friends. So stop trying to be nice. Stop pretending to want to be my friend, because I don't want to be friends with you. Just leave me alone."

He hadn't yelled. He hadn't even raised his voice. He was just calm, cold, and precise, watching me with those hard green eyes like they were made of stone-cold emeralds. He reminded me so much of my mother that I nearly wept. And just like that, I was sucked into a memory that I had tried so hard to forget.

Mum gave me a bored expression as I handed her a brilliant, rainbow-colored dahlia that I had grown myself and turned colors with magic. "What is this? Some cheap knockoff from the market?" she had said disdainfully as she turned away from me and praised Virginia for going for a short walk outside in the yard.

"Mummy, look what I made for you." I said, trying to smile. "See? I made it. All by myself. It's for you."

Mum waved me off. "Go play outside, Amber. Your sister needs my attention. You're healthy. She's not."

I tugged on her skirt pleadingly. "But Mummy, I have a cold. I'm the sick one. Just look."

"Go away, Amber!" Mum snapped. "I'm not going to play with you right now or see what you've done. Stop trying to impress me. Go outside and play with your dolls or your magic. Just leave me alone."

Just leave me alone.

I ran outside, sitting in the shade of a rhodendron bush when Daddy saw my face. He stormed inside. I could hear him yell at Mum, even though the windows were shut.

"For God's sake, Lena. She's six years old! She needs your attention just as much as Virginia." He said the Lord's name.

Mum screamed words at him that I don't want to remember. Not ever.

I blinked hard, breaking free of the memory. I stared at Remus, who was giving me a curious stare. Setting my jaw, I picked up my book and slipped it into my book bag.

"Miss Harkstone?" Professor Flitwick asked. "Where are you going? Class is still going for another fifteen minutes."

"I feel sick." I half-lied, back turned to him and the class. Don't cry. You're not a baby. Crying never did any good for you. I had cried buckets of tears in my life, mostly for myself. I sucked in a deep breath of air and marched out of the room. Tears burned my eyes, but I refused to let them fall.

It wasn't Remus' fault for not wanting to be friends. He just didn't want to be. Plain and simple. And I shouldn't be taking it personally.

So why was I?

The hallways were deserted. Class was still in session. I bustled down the empty stone corridor, my black robes billowing out behind me. The swaying trees beckoned me. I left the castle and strode away, determined to leave behind the mean students and the disappointments, even if just for an hour or two. I was so tired of the drama. I was so tired of crying!

I headed down a rocky path, leading down to the edge of the lake. Flat, smooth gray rocks lined the beach. There was no sand. Dropping my book bag, I plucked up a stone and skimmed it across the water. It skipped four times. I repeated it with another stone, and another. But soon I was casting them into the water with reckless abandon, picking up the heavier stones and flinging them into the cold depths of the water. My robes got in the way, so I tore them off and threw them aside. Red-faced and gasping, I threw stones until my arms were weak and little spots of color popped in my vision. I hunched over, hands on my thighs, panting, trying to catch my breath back.

Sometimes, there just weren't enough rocks.

Spent, I sat on a boulder on the edge of the lake, watching the water that I had disturbed slowly settle and smooth. Soon the surface of the lake was as still as a mirror. The overcast sky reflected soot-gray clouds.

I was completely alone out here. I didn't see any birds flying. No fish touched the surface of the water in search of bugs. I turned around and studied the great castle of Hogwarts looming above me, dominating the skyline. It was massive, impressive, a formidable and reliable fortress.

I thought about what Vincent Backe had written weeks ago in the Daily Prophet. He had said that He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named was on the way to power again. That he was gathering followers. It was hard to imagine that a man who was already such an infamous dark wizard had ever walked the halls of Hogwarts as a student, the same halls that I walked now. And it was just as likely that he had stood on this beach too, and probably sat where I was sitting, right now. A chill ran down my spine, but not from the cool air.

At least I had proven I was a witch. I had mastered the basics of Charms and was moving onto more advanced, but relatively basic, techniques. Potions was a fun class, but I didn't possess Lily's gifted touch. And from what she had told me about Severus, he was also a very skilled brewer.

My other classes were satisfactory. I was certain I had an A in each class. I wouldn't accept anything less. Not even a B+.

Drawing my knees to my chest, I tried not to think about James, Sirius, or Remus. What was it about those three? Why were they so repellant to me? Was it how I looked? Were they jealous of my brains? Remus seemed bright, but he was still cold and didn't want anything to do with me. James and Sirius couldn't get enough of me in all the wrong ways. They were mean, coarse, and unrefined. I wondered what kind of upbringing could have possibly made them the way they were.

The leaves on the trees were already changing color, blushing as autumn swept through. A light breeze stirred the water and sent a wave of leaves scattering through the air and along the ground. My long hair whipped in front of my face. I bent down to pick up another smooth rock. I pulled out my wand, tapping the surface lightly. "Spongify."

The hard granite rock softened. Pliable in my hands, I pressed it into different shapes and sizes. I slipped the rubbery rock into my bag and let out a heavy sigh. At least I was a witch. At least I could use magic, and know the history and technique behind spells. Hadn't I proven it over and over in class? Hadn't I proved it just now?

I had a feeling Mum still wouldn't be impressed. Not even if I learned how to cast a Patronus Charm in my first year.

I had an Astronomy class next, but the fact that it was overcast, coupled with the fact that the last place I wanted to be right now was inside stone walls, convinced me to play hooky for the first time this year and break my perfect attendance record. Picking up my bag, I walked along a narrow path that snaked along the edge of the lake. The only beaches were far and few between, and only rocks. I wondered if there was even any sand on the bottom of the huge lake.

I stopped twenty minutes into my walk at an alcove. From here, I could see Hogwarts in all its glory. Even from this distance, it was impressive. I felt a tug of yearning to return. After all, I was probably breaking the rules by being this far from the school. I couldn't have been more than a mile, but I was sure I nearing boundaries of some sort.

"This is probably as good a spot as ever." I conceded. I would take a break here and turn around.

I approached the water's edge, bending down to dip my hands in the cold water. I splashed my warm face with two full hands. I shook my hair away from my face and dabbed it with the hem of my robe. I turned to leave when I saw four heads on the surface of the water.

My heart constricted in fear and alarm. Spine tingling with horror, I backed up, nearly tripping over rocks, but then the heads came closer. I realized with a rush of adrenaline that they were mermaids. They ducked underwater and broke the surface just a few feet from where I was.

I stood, transfixed. They were beautiful. As they got closer, I could see their attractively slanted eyes, their long, curling, flowing hair cascading over their bare shoulders. They were all female, and all more beautiful than any person that walked on land. They came close to the shore, in the shallows, making peculiar clicking and moaning noises.

I approached slowly, rocks clattering under my feet. They came closer. I could see their long, shimmering tails underneath the water, even in the dull overcast light. The one closest to me never blinked.

Oh, she had such a beautiful face. How was it possible for a mermaid to look like an angel? I pulled on my hair absently, knowing I would never be as pretty as any of them were. When will I ever get this chance again? I thought. Maybe I should get a little closer, just to remember what they look like…

I felt something cold on my legs, but assumed it was just the lake water splashing up onto me because of the mermaids making tiny waves. I leaned closer, transfixed by the mermaid's dark eyes. They were dark, black, like Severus's. They were blacker than obsidian, and colder, like the depths of the lake.

Her face swam closer. My hair swung around the sides of my face. Why was she going under the water? Why was she moving so slowly?

I felt something wrap around my ankle, cold, hard, and wet, and that was when I realized I was in trouble. It must have showed on my face, because the mermaid's face twisted into an ugly snarl and she gave a sharp tug.

I fell face-first into the water.

The water wasn't deep, only up to my knees, but the mermaid pulled me under. And pinned me.

I struggled, trying not to panic, but all I saw were the silver bubbles of my own breath escaping to the surface of the water. My own life was flashing in little pockets of air, right before my horrified eyes. And I was drowning.

I tried to fight, but the mermaid far overpowered me. I groped for my wand, but what good would that do? I didn't know any spells to protect myself other than expelliarmus. And mermaids didn't have wands.

I struggled harder, panic overwhelming every sense, every fiber of my body screaming DANGER!. I was dying, and this mermaid was going to drown me.

I fought, but she was relentless. She could breathe underwater. I could not.

My flails weakened. I was tired, and the water was filling my ears, nose, mouth, and lungs… I was going to die here, in knee-deep water, in my first month of school. Why hadn't I stayed on the shore…?

Suddenly I was ripped out of the water and thrown onto the rocks. There was a terrible snarling, and then screams and shrieks. I could hear loud splashing and furious growls. I tried to open my eyes, but all I could see was black.

Rocks clattered next to me. Something hit my chest hard, as if a punch had been slammed right into my gut. Jackknifing up, I vomited and coughed up lungfuls of lake water, gasping for air. I greedily sucked the sweet mountain air into my lungs, even though it burned like fire. I clutched my throat, then my head. I had come within minutes of dying.

Trembling hard, I looked around, trying to find my savior. My vision was still blurry. I rubbed my eyes and tried to see.

A fuzzy shape slowly focused into view. Short, messy hair… Green eyes…

Surprise overtook any fear, dizziness, or confusion. "Remus?" I croaked.

He grimaced. "You're an idiot."

I coughed hard, my hair dripping, my clothes sodden. "I… I was just…"

He held up a hand for silence. "Come on, it doesn't matter." He helped me to my feet. I staggered toward my bag, my legs shaking harder than had ever in my entire life.

"What the hell were you thinking?" Remus demanded as he escorted me down the narrow path leading back to Hogwarts.

"I just wanted to get away for a little bit." I retorted, but even that sounded stupid and childish to me. Ears flaming in shame, I bit my lips to keep from talking and embarrassing myself further.

"Mermaids drown people." He explained, exasperated. "You were probably easy prey for them. An easy meal."

A cold shudder raced down my back. Me? Dinner? "That's awful."

He grimaced again. "You look sick."

"I might puke again." I leaned over against a tree and threw up again. More lake water came up. Tears streaming from my eyes from the burn, I wiped my mouth and hobbled beside him.

"I'm a vegetarian." I croaked.

Remus sighed. "Take off your robe."

Too numb to protest, I obeyed.

Remus pulled off his robe and laid it over my shoulders. He wrapped up my sopping robe and carried it for me, then hefted my book bag onto his other shoulder.

"You don't have to do that for me." I said after a long moment.

Remus gave me a pointed look. "You can hardly stand, let alone walk. I don't want you to collapse with this extra weight."

Chilled by the water and by the experience of nearly being eaten by mermaids, I wrapped his warm robe around my shoulders and didn't protest.

"How did you know I was in trouble?" I asked after several steps.

A muscle jerked in Remus' cheek. "I wanted to apologize to you after you walked out of class. I didn't mean to you make you upset. But you seemed like you wanted to be alone, so I gave you space. I was going to apologize on that beach, but the mermaids got you first."

I shut my eyes briefly. I never wanted to think about that again, but I knew it was going to haunt me for a long time to come. Especially at night, in my dreams.

"You okay?" Remus asked, concerned.

"I'm fine." I replied, moving my jelly-like legs. "I just want to get warm and dry."

"I wish I knew a spell for that." Remus mused ruefully. "Madame Pomfrey will patch you up."

"You know her?" I gave him a half-smile. "James and Sirius beat you up?"

He shook his head. "They're my friends. They wouldn't hurt me."

I snorted at that, but it backfired and I coughed hard for a few moments before I could talk again. "They're mean as hornets. They…" I didn't want to admit how many times they'd reduced me to tears. "They're bullies. To me and to others."

Remus' eyes shadowed. "I know. I wish they wouldn't but they're just being boys."

I rolled my eyes. "They're just being arses."

He grimaced again. "I can't argue with that."

Remus stayed close as we ascended the steep path back up the slope of the hill that led to the castle. Out of breath, I was unable to talk until we were in the corridors again. Our footsteps echoed loudly in the halls. They were empty again. The other classes must have been in session. I glanced out of the windows and shot a disdainful look at the lake before turning away. What other horrors swam beneath the surface?

"Almost there." Remus promised as we rounded another bend. I nodded silently and followed him. He walked with purpose and familiarity, as if he had been to this part of the castle several times before.

Two great doors opened for Remus, revealing a cathedral-like room with several beds lining the walls. A woman in a white apron and white hat rose from a desk and hurried to meet us. Her light brown hair was graying at the temples, but her blue eyes were full of energy and knowledge. "Oh my heavens!" She exclaimed. "Child! What happened to you?"

"Fell into the water." Remus said. "A mermaid tried to pull her in."

The nurse looked horrified, then furious. "A mermaid attack? Here? Dumbledore'll have a word with those fishwives. Oh, he'll have several…"

I glanced at Remus. Those things hadn't spoken English. How was Dumbledore "going to have a word" with them?

The nurse shook her head, placing her hands on me. "You poor thing. You look as pale as death. Come, come with me. Remus, thank you for bringing her here. You may return to your class."

He nodded. "You're welcome, Madame Pomfrey. I can tell Dumbledore what happened if you want."

She shook her head. "Thank you, Remus, but I'd rather speak with him myself. But I may need you to share your account of the story if the Headmaster requires it."

Remus dipped his head. "Feel better, Amber."

I smiled gratefully. "Thank you, Remus."

He handed my wet robe back to Madame Pomfrey. I started to shrug out of his robe, but Remus shook his head. "Just return it to me the next time I see you in class."

Warmth filled me at his kindness. "Thanks."

Remus gave me a quick smile, and left.

"Such a nice boy." Madame Pomfrey murmured as she fussed over me like a mother hen over a chick. "You poor thing. You must have been scared out of your mind."

I shrugged. I didn't want to tell her how much it had shaken me, how close I had come to becoming a new ghost wandering the halls of Hogwarts.

Madame Pomfrey changed me into a gown and wrapped me in huge, fluffy quilts, but I still felt the chill of death deep inside of me. I wondered if the lake water lingered inside, a poison of the mermaid that would eventually turn me into a half-fish hybrid. I pushed the unpleasant thought away.

Madame Pomfrey gently pressed a steaming mug of green tea into my cold hands. "Oh, you're still freezing." She fretted. "Come, have some tea. That's it."

I took a sip, nearly scalding my tongue, but I wanted to put her mind at rest. "Thank you."

Two figures in robes swept down the hall. One of them was Professor McGonagall. The other was Dumbledore. A third figure who I hadn't seen before because of his short stature appeared. It was Flitwick.

None of them looked happy.

Shame prickled my face. I hardly dared to look at them.

"What were you thinking?" McGonagall snapped. "A first year? Wandering off on your own? Nearly outside of our borders?" She looked furious. "You could have been killed! You almost were, by the looks of you!"

I ducked my head, wishing I could sink into the floor.

"I am very disappointed in you." Flitwick said in a grave tone. "Very bad, very unwise judgment. Twenty-five points will be taken from Ravenclaw."

I closed my eyes, wishing I could go deaf.

"Can't you let her rest first?" Madame Pomfrey fussed. "She's had a very bad scare, which I think is plenty enough for punishment. If Remus hadn't found her, she'd be dead!"

Silence met her words. "Is this true, Amber?" McGonagall said quietly.

I nodded.

"Tell us what happened." She instructed. "Take all the time you need."

I felt like she was patronizing me, which made me feel worse. I told them what I had done. I'm such a child. How could I have been so foolish?

"This looks like a cry for attention." McGonagall said harshly. "Maybe we should send her home until she's mature enough to attend our school."

My head snapped up, my mouth parting in horror. Tears filled my eyes and poured down my cheeks. I stared at her, devastated.

Dumbledore smiled gently. "I think she is ready to attend, Minerva. We made the right choice in choosing her for the class of 1978. She made a mistake, as we all do, especially at her age. I think she has learned her lesson. You have, haven't you, Amber?"

I nodded my head fiercely. "Please, please don't send me home." I begged. I fought to keep from breaking down completely. The last thing I wanted was to be sent home. What would Mum say?

Professor McGonagall sighed. "Professor Dumbledore, she needs to be punished. This is inexcusable behavior. Even from a first year."

Dumbledore spread his old hands. "She has learned her lesson, Minerva. If this behavior repeats itself, then we may discuss alternative discipline. Right now, I think, she has been punished enough by a near death experience."

McGonagall looked mutinous, but kept her mouth shut, her lips pressed together in a tight line.

Professor Flitwick cleared his throat. "No more leaving class, Amber, unless it's straight to the infirmary. Understood?"

I hung my head. "Yes, sir."

"Well, thank you, Poppy." said Dumbledore. "I leave her in your capable care."

"Are you going to speak with those heathens?" Madame Pomfrey half-demanded.

"Yes, of course. I will speak with them." Dumbledore moved himself into my field of vision so that he could look into my eyes. I wanted to look away in shame, but his electric blue eyes locked me in place.

"You were a very brave girl for fighting back, Amber. Well done." He sounded genuine. I nodded once, unable to speak past the lump in my throat. It was the first nice thing someone had said to me about the entire incident.

The three teachers left.

Madame Pomfrey encouraged me to finish my tea. I obeyed. The warmth chased away most of the chill. But most of my relief came from knowing that I wasn't going to be expelled. I wanted to weep, but for what? Nothing bad was going to happen to me. My bad decision was not going to cost me my place at Hogwarts.

I took a deep breath. Calm down, Amber. You're acting like a baby, crying and helpless. Get a grip!

Since I was her only steward, Madame Pomfrey saw to my every need for the next few hours. She offered to spoon-feed me a mushroom and vegetable broth soup, but I quickly assured her I was capable of feeding myself.

"What a nice boy, that Remus." Madame Pomfrey sighed as she folded his newly washed and dried robe.

"How do you know him?" I asked as I ate, hoping to glean some information on the mysterious boy.

Madame Pomfrey smiled. "I see him every few weeks. He brings me flowers. He's a sweet boy, Miss Harkstone. I'm not the least bit surprised that he saved your life." Her eyes darkened, and she turned away, laying his robe over the end of my cot and straightening sheets on the vacant beds nearby.

"What do you mean?"

Madame Pomfrey sighed. "I mean he's got a kind soul. And I knew he would do great things. Noble things." She glanced at the clock. "You should try and sleep."

My gaze swiveled around the wide, empty room. It was creepy. "I'd like to sleep in my own bed tonight."

She frowned. "Heavens, no. I'm going to keep you overnight for observation. Don't worry, dear, I sleep right over there." She pointed to a door near the back of the room. "I won't be very far if you need me."

I felt daunted at the thought of sleeping out here alone.

She seemed to notice my distress, because she added, "I can leave the door open."

Are you a baby, Amber? I thought angrily. I shook my head, even though a part of me protested. "I'm alright. But thank you."

She left me a pitcher of water and turned in for the night. I opened a fat textbook from my bag. Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them by Newt Scamander, along with my Charms book. I flipped through the pages, my wand held at my side. "Protego," I muttered, furious that I hadn't remembered such a simple defensive spell when I was under attack. I would need to work on that. A panicked brain was more dangerous than a mermaid.

Merpeople (also known as Sirens, Selkies, Merrows)

M.O.M. Classification: XXXX

Merpeople exist throughout the world, though they vary in appearance almost as much as humans. Their habits and customs remain as mysterious as those of the centaur, though those wizards who have mastered the language of Mermish speak of highly organized communities varying in size according to habitat, and some have elaborately declined "being" status in favour of a "beats" classification.

The oldest recorded merpeople were known as sirens (Greece) and it is in warmer waters that we find the beautiful mermaids so frequently depicted in Muggle literature and painting. The selkies of Scotland and the Merrows of Ireland are less beautiful but they share that love of music which is common to all merpeople.

Merpeople are omnivorous and will hunt people just as they would their aquatic prey, especially if food is scare. Males do not hunt. The females are responsible for food and for defending the clan. If threatened, they will attack. Females have also been known to be very jealous and will drown women simply because they envious. They should be treated with caution, just as centaurs and other XXXX rated creatures are.

I clutched my wand tightly in my right hand. I kept replaying the horrible experience over and over in my mind's eye, unable to stop. "Protego." I whispered over and over. "Protego." I cast shield charm after shield charm, long after midnight had passed. By morning, I was a master at the protective charm.

I would never be helpless again.