As Yoake retired to her tent, before making certain her pups were settled in theirs, Nen thought about their conversation staring into the fire. Having put his kimono top back on loosely he felt more confused than before. He was a male and had not once questioned that simple fact but now he was being told if he had been able to stay on with his parents and people he would have been raised as a female, that everyone thought he was, that his energy was feminine.

"Maybe that is what is wrong with me. Why I feel so at odds with myself." He said to himself softly. Hearing a slight rustle of fabric behind him he glanced back seeing the boy, Nikko, exit his tent. Not saying anything he sat beside Nen but with some distance.

"So, you don't like my father much, huh?" Nikko asked glancing at him.

"I hate him." Nen replied distantly.

"The way you described him, that doesn't sound like my father at all. I am not saying you are lying it just…I can't see it." Nikko explained.

"I am glad he has never been cruel to you. That you never had to deal with being treated that way." Nen said looking over at his younger cousin. "You don't have to be out here Nikko. I am more than capable to keep watch."

"I can't sleep. I never heard what happened to my mothers house, I knew she had come from one but not what had happened. It is bothering me." Nikko replied. Moving his gaze to stare back at the fire Nen nodded his head in agreement

"I went to the house of the star hoping to find something but there was nothing there. It was an empty shell." Nen said.

"A thousand years is a long time and without being cared for nothing can withstand the elements or time." Nikko added.

"True." Nen nodded his head again.

"So, do you really feel as if you are a female?" Nikko questioned his eyes full of curiosity.

"I don't know." Nen replied. "I feel wrong, the person I am. Everyone tells me how strong and course I am, it bothers me. That isn't who I feel I am supposed to be, I am because I had to be; for Jiro."

"Maybe the reason why you did take care of your littermate was because of that part of you that is female. I know my mother is extremely protective of us and would rip out a sea monsters throat if she had to protect us." Nikko said.

"Maybe." Nen thought out.

"Now that you know about that part of yourself are you going to go back to your compound?"

"I am clear to travel for a year with my mate, that is what I am allowed. Given the fact that your father was sent away I would not feel right leaving your mother unattended with your sisters and you." Nen said.

"I can protect them." Nikko said confidently.

"I don't doubt that Nikko but two is better than one."

"True. My mother seems to have taken to you well so I am sure she won't have any issues with it. We will be relocating soon to our winter encampment that is some ways from here. We could use your help with that if nothing else."

"Sounds like a plan to me."

"The compound you're in, my fathers parents are there; aren't they?" Nikko questioned.

"Captain Riku and Lady Iku. Have you ever met them?" Nen asked back,

"Twice. They visited when I was small, before any of my sisters were born. Then when Hatsumi was whelped they came again but that was a long time ago now. Father says they had many responsibilities in the east."

"The captain and his mate along with their eldest son Kiyoshi were responsible to make sure that Lady Izumi was safe and protected, from what I understand." Nen said.

"Is she nice? Lady Izumi?"

"She is. She likes to tease me sometimes but other than that we get along well. Along with the other women she helps Jin and I raise our daughter."

"You have a pup?"

"Yes, Nozumi. She is a human baby."

"Is she your mates then that he had with a human female?"

"No. We found her. She had been abandoned at birth and we took her in. I miss her, my little girl." Nen said. "By the time I return she will be older,closer to two years than one, and humans grow much more quickly than we do. I can't imagine what she will be like when I return."

"Wow." Nikko stated. "Then, if you miss her so much why did you leave?"

"I left to be better for her, for Jin, and my packmates. If I can find myself then I can be present for them. This version of myself is not my best, I know that, and I want to find who that is." Nen said.

"I don't envy you." Nikko shook his head in what appeared to be pity. "Maybe I can go with you, when you return to the west."

"If your mother allows it." Nen smirked at him somewhat. Nikko blew out his cheeks and glanced at her tent.

"About that…it may be a while."

"Do you blame her, from what you heard?" Nen queried.

"Nen, I know you hate my father but he never does anything without a plan. He wouldn't have done anything out of malice, I know him in ways that you don't and if he set you both off to be slaves and sold then why did he come here? To my mother?" Nikko pondered.

"The only one who knows that would be him."

"Right. Hey, I'm going to go check on my mother. She is probably crying." Nikko said standing.

"Go. I will keep watch. You take care of your pack."

"Well, you're pack too…right?" Nikko asked hesitantly.

"Yes. See you in the morning Nikko." Nen bid.

"Good night Nen." Nikko replied going to his mothers tent and entering. Walking in she was on her pallet on the ground covered in her blankets. Nikko was accustomed to always seeing his father take up most of the space in their shared bedding. Seeing it empty with his mothers form huddled on one side made his heart ache. "Mother."

Hearing her swallow hard and sniffle he went over to her kneeling beside her. "Do you want me to spend the night?"

"Are frightened without your father here?" She asked. Although he wasn't he nodded deciding to allow her to mother him to give her comfort. Moving aside she pushed the fur blanket back to allow him to lay next to her. Running her hands through his hair she smirked somewhat, albeit sadly. "My sunshine boy. You made me believe that love was possible again Nikko."

"Wasn't that fathers job?" He questioned amused.

"That was…well, I will explain that to you when you're a bit older. You and your sisters are what have kept me going and unfroze my heart." She answered.

"Mama, I don't think father did this to be cruel to you or Nen or anyone. I think he did what he had to do and what he felt was best, the only way he knew how." Nikko said.

"I knew you were listening." Yoake sighed out. "Between your father and I, I cannot even begin to comprehend any of this or what Nens arrival may mean for us."

"What do you mean?" Nikko asked concerned.

"Nothing you need to worry about for now. Go to sleep. In two days we need to start packing to meet with the other packs and clans for the winter."

"I know. Nen wants to go with us."

"We will see." Yoake whispered closing her own eyes before her son did his.