I wasn't sure how long it took me to react. It felt like hours, maybe days. But it must have been just a few seconds, because one moment I was standing with my mouth open and fists clenched and the next I was lunging at Angelina and knocking her away from Remus and onto the cold, hard ground.

My right hand connected with her soft face first. Then I lost control. I could feel the frigid stone floor seeping up into my knees as I laid into Angelina, all of my anger and shame I had bottled for the past three years unleashed in that fraction of a second. Angelina was screaming and cursing me out, trying to reach for her wand, but I ripped it from her hand and hurled it away. She raked a hand across my face, leaving long pink lines from her fingernails in my skin. She grabbed my long hair and pulled so hard that my eyes watered. I curled my hand into a fist again and rocked it into her jaw.

We couldn't have been fighting for more than a few seconds, but it felt like years. Suddenly, we were blasted apart by an iridescent blue force. I landed ten feet away on my rump and immediately surged to my feet again, my legs jelly-like with the rush of adrenaline in my body. Angelina was still on the ground, wiping at her bloody nose. Remus was positioned exactly between us, his wand out, pointing at me.

I choked back a strangled sob and plunged my hand into my pocket. Remus jabbed his wand in my direction.

"Don't even think about it." He said firmly, his eyes blazing. I glared at him, filled with something even stronger than my red haze of anger.

He had betrayed me.

"Go to Hell!" Angelina half-shouted, tears streaming from her eyes, which were already swelling from my punches. I realized then that I had caused it, that I had resorted to violence for the first time in my life, and I suddenly wanted to be anywhere else but right here.

"You first." I hissed, my throat constricting with guilt and remaining anger.

People were beginning to emerge from the Great Hall. Remus jerked his head to the side. "Go, Amber."

I stared at him, feeling as if the bottom had dropped out from my world. "What?"

"Go, before McGonagall comes." He said again. Then he turned his back and helped Angelina stagger to her feet.

I didn't need another hint. Tears now flowing from my own eyes, I turned and fled. I ran down the familiar corridor to the painting of the lake, running through the tunnel, scraping my arms on the sides of the earthen and stone walls before bursting free into the cold December air outside of the castle. I didn't look back as I pelted toward the Whomping Willow, the Murder Tree. It swayed ominously as I approached, but I didn't slow my pace.

"Go on, kill me! Just try!" I screamed as I ran as fast as I could toward the entrance underneath it, reckless with the overpowering rush of adrenaline. The Tree swung forward. The trunk missed me by inches; the long tendrils slapped at my face and left a deep cut in my cheek. Ignoring the pain, I made it underneath the Tree and kept running until I burst into the dusty abode, the Shrieking Shack.

Finally, there was nowhere else to go. I was stuck here. My chest heaved as I fought for air, trying to process the wild thoughts running through my mind.

My first real fist fight, and it had been against Angelina. Not Mulciber or Avery. Not James or Sirius.

It had been against Angelina Azadian.

I tried to calm down, but my head was spinning so hard I felt like I was going to be sick. I sank into a dusty chair and covered my face with my hands. Warm blood flowed from the cut I'd received from the Whomping Willow. I touched it gingerly. My hand came away red and wet. I tore off a section of my robe and pressed it against the wound to staunch the flow of blood. I swallowed against the burning dryness in my throat and listened to the gradually slowing ba-bum, ba-bum of my pulse still beating in my ears.

What was going to happen to me now?

I gritted my teeth against the burn of tears. Was I going to be expelled? Surely I'd receive detention. Points would be taken from Ravenclaw. It didn't seem fair that the girl who stole Remus, the little slut, would go off scot-free, all because I'd reacted in the most primal way.

Oh, I had. I had gone way too far.

I tried to bury my guilt and remorse, but a part of me felt vindicated. A deep, visceral part of me was glad I'd done it. But why?

Mum. A small voice whispered. Dad. Virginia.

"Stop it." I told myself. "Stop."

You've been carrying too much weight for too long. Remus' words came floating back to me, bringing with it an unbelievable wave of hurt and devastation. I bit back a gasp of pain.

How could he? How could he?

I had always thought thirteen was too young to fall in love. But Sean was right. I'd experienced more than what the normal thirteen-year-old did. I'd lost a sister, lived with the guilt, dealt with the rejection of my mother and absence of my well-meaning father. And his secrets…

I tried to steer my thoughts into a more positive direction, but all I could think about was Angelina kissing Remus, kissing my Remus, and my fists slamming into her until blood came out of her face. Vicious vengeance and consuming remorse filled me until I was sure my skin would burst or I would die. I was about to let my tears come when I heard footsteps creaking up the steps.

I froze. I rose slowly, hand going to my wand, one hand still pressed to my bleeding cheek. Someone was here. Only a few people knew how to get in, and I didn't want to see any of them right now. I quietly slipped into an old wardrobe filled with moth-eaten coats and gently pulled the door closed so that just a fraction of vision was left.

A figure in a sweeping black cloak entered the room. It was so dark that for a moment, I couldn't make him out clearly. Then my heart stopped.

Folsom.

It couldn't be him. But it was. I could smell his cloying perfume, see the faint sheen of his blonde hair in the moonlight filtering in through the grimy window. I felt another thrill of horror because I had blood all over me. Even if he couldn't see me, he could definitely smell me.

I watched Folsom walk around the length of the room. I closed my eyes briefly, all anger obliterated in a huge surge of terror, white-hot and blinding. Please, God, let him pass over me. Let me live. Please. I don't want to die. Not yet. Not like this.

Folsom stopped near the chair I had been sitting in. He stared down at it for so long that I was sure he was frozen. Then he slowly revolved on the spot, staring out the window.

"I know you're in here, Miss Amber."

I didn't know how, but I squelched the tiny gasp of horror that almost eeked out of my mouth. I was trembling so hard I thought he could surely hear me, rattling the old dusty coats.

I knew what he was going to do. He was going to kill me, right here, in a matter of moments. I was done.

He moved around the room again, inhaling deeply. Oh, God.

He was tracking my scent.

Folsom did that for a few more moments. Then he turned and stared right into the wardrobe.

"Are you hiding?" He asked quietly, taking a single step forward. "Don't you know… I can always smell a rat."

I wondered how much of a chance I had against him. Now, when I was feeling lower than I had ever felt in my life, when all I could feel was fear and death coming for me, could I produce a corporeal Patronus? With my dead wand?

I had to try. It was my only chance.

I raised my wand slowly, shutting my eyes, trying to picture Remus kissing me instead, but it only brought another wave of pain. I thought of seeing Virginia again. More pain. I thought of becoming an international Quidditch player. No. No, there was nothing, no warm or happy spark. I was going to die here, and there was nothing I could do…

Folsom took another step toward me. His blue eyes glowed in the dark like a wolf's. He knew where I was. And he was coming for me.

Another step. One more.

There was another sound. Someone else was coming up the stairs. Wild panic flooded me.

What if it's Voldemort?

Another black-cloaked figure emerged. Dark hair, tied back in a bun. A glittering silver necklace with a small cross on it. Hope flared in my chest.

Professor Smith!

"It was foolish of you to come here tonight, Vincent." She said quietly. Folsom snapped his head around, clearly surprised.

"I no longer recognize that name." Folsom said coldly in his high-pitched voice. "You should know Lord Voldemort is not far."

Professor Smith laughed softly. "I know when you're lying, Mackenzie. What are you doing here?"

I watched the exchange with baited breath. Maybe I wasn't going to die now.

Folsom merely looked at Professor Smith. "I am hunting."

"Clearly." Professor Smith said with disgust in her voice. "A student, no less."

"That is none of your concern." Folsom said coolly. "She has a personal interest to me."

"She is under mine and Dumbledore's protection." Professor Smith said, taking a measured step forward. Folsom smiled coldly, revealing his perfect white teeth… and two very distinct canines.

"How cute… so you feel obligated to protect this girl, do you? And what of the other girl placed in your charge? How does Mara fare?"

"She is none of your concern." Professor Smith said darkly.

"Isn't she?" Folsom purred. "I haven't seen the dear girl in years… I hear you raised her well, in spite of who her father is."

"She is nothing like her father." Professor Smith spat at Folsom. "You mean nothing to me, just as I told Tom all those years ago. Mara is my only concern, and she has grown too powerful for even you to be a threat against her."

Folsom laughed, a strange sound that made my hair stand on end. "How does she feel knowing her own mother is a Death Eater?"

Folsom had pulled up his forearm, displaying a black tattoo. He had crossed the room so quietly and subtly that not even Professor Smith had noticed. She didn't even notice that he had pushed up her sleeve, revealing a matching tattoo.

"You remember…" Folsom breathed. "Once a Death Eater… always a Death Eater…"

Folsom leaned closer to her neck. Horror made my next action clear. He was going to bite her.

"Professor Smith!" I yelled from the wardrobe, about to push through the door and leap into the fray.

Professor Smith reacted so quickly that I was blinded by the white light. She had produced a Patronus so powerful that it made the moon look dark. There was a loud hiss and growl, the sound of breaking glass, and then the light gradually dimmed. The huge basilisk wove around and around the room, illuminating everything in its white-blue light.

"You can come out now, Amber." Professor Smith said calmly. "He's gone."

Shaking, I opened the wardrobe, wand still out. The basilisk slithered down the steps, leaving residual light. I could make out Professor Smith's scar more clearly than ever. She still hadn't tugged down her sleeve. I stared down at her forearm.

It was the exact same symbol as the skull and the serpent… the same symbol that had been over the Hogwarts Express the day that the attacks had happened.

Professor Smith noticed my perusal and quickly pulled her sleeve down. She gestured toward the stairs. "Come. Madam Pomfrey is expecting you."

I didn't say a word as we left the Shack and walked back to the castle. I was too filled with a million thoughts and feelings. One thing was clear.

Professor Smith was… had been… a Death Eater.

I tried not to think about my close shave with Folsom. I didn't speak to Remus after that. I avoided him like he was Peeves. I pretended that I couldn't see him when I would pass him in the halls. I sat in the very front of every class so that I wouldn't have to endure the sight of him sitting next to Angelina, who would coo at him or try to hold his hand. The very thought of them doing anything together always brought a surge of pain and a fresh round of tears, which kept me hurrying to the bathrooms or closet to compose myself.

I felt like I had lost trust in everyone. Even Lily, who I still treated like a sister but kept slightly at arm's reach. I couldn't risk losing our friendship again, not after the betrayal that Remus had committed, and instead let Lily keep up her excited barrage of ball-talk. She asked me once, as soon as we saw each other after It Happened, if I was okay.

"I don't want to talk about it." Was all I had said, and so she had respected it.

Saturday came. Hogsmeade visit. Lily had talked of buying a gown for the occasion and begged me to come with her. I decided it was a good idea. A good distraction.

We left after breakfast. Food had lost its appeal to me, but I forced myself to eat at least enough to satisfy Lily's watchful gaze before we headed out to the village. It seemed that every third year girl or older from Hogwarts had the same idea. I had never seen the road so clogged with students.

Lily and I made our way to McBride & Van Hoorn, the local boutique specializing in teenage-to-twenty fashion. Lily squealed and danced excitedly as she caught sight of the mannequins wearing examples of their merchandise.

"Oh, Amber!" Lily breathed. "Look at that pink frilly one!"

I raised a brow. "You actually think that looks good?"

"You never know!" Lily sang. She dragged me inside. Several other girls I recognized from school were browsing the racks. A few gave me cursory looks, but otherwise didn't stare. For the past few days, I had been gawked at. Anna Noyes had even threatened to kick me off the team for what I had done to a fellow Ravenclaw, until I reminded her who my father was and how disappointed he would be in a Captain who had dismissed his own daughter. That had shut her up.

She was here now, with Artemis. Artemis waved once. I pretended I hadn't seen. I tucked my scarf closer around my face. It was red-and-gold. Anna cleared her throat. I threw an annoyed look at her.

"Yes?" I said irritably.

Anna looked disgruntled. "Why are you wearing Gryffindor colors?"

"Because it's a scarf?" I said sarcastically. "And I'm cold."

"Well, next time, try and look a little more supportive of your House." Anna said coolly, turning back to a rack of blue dresses.

Lily was humming. She pulled out her wand and said, "Colovaria."

The scarf changed to blue and bronze. My House's colors.

"Why were you wearing that thing anyway?" Lily asked lightly as she pulled down ten different dresses and handed them to me to hold.

I shrugged. Remus had loaned it to me two weeks ago. I hadn't been able to part with it. It felt good knowing that I had something of his that he couldn't give to Angelina.

Angelina. I scowled and readjusted the scarf. What a horrible name. How could I ever had thought she was a nice girl, even a friend? She was nothing more than a backstabber, a slut.

"Amber? Amber, come on. Focus."

"Sorry." I muttered. Lily had pulled down another dress. "I need your opinion."

I followed her to the changing room. She hooked her eleven dresses on the back of the door and shut the door. She talked the entire time. I listened.

"Do you think Severus will like this? Even if it's pink?"

"Does this make me look fat?"

"What color brings out my eyes best?"

"Oh, can you grab me a different size?"

"How does this one look?"

Lily turned appraisingly in the final dress. It was a floral yellow print with a black belt. "Hmmm… no."

"I think the pink one with ruffles looks best." I said finally, picking underneath my nails, trying to think of anything but Remus. It was hard to do.

"The Chiffon?" Lily said in surprise. "The one on display?"

"Yeah." I said. "It looked best on you."

Lily looked pleased. "Okay. Your turn."

I rolled my eyes. "How many times do we have to go over this? I'm. Not. Going."

Lily sighed and took my hands. They were very warm, compared to my freezing ones. Lily squeezed them.

"Listen, Amber. I'm going to need my best friend there. It wouldn't be the same without you. Besides, didn't Sean ask you?"

I looked away. "I turned him down." I had expected Remus to take me.

Lily sighed in sympathy. "You don't need a date to attend, you know. And the best revenge is to be happy. Trust me."

It was the first time she had broached the forbidden subject. I looked at her squarely. "If I hate it, I'm going right upstairs to my room. No questions asked."

Lily squealed and hugged me tightly. "Oh, Amber! Thank you, thank you, thank you. Alright, let's get you to try on some of these dresses."

I moaned and squeezed the bridge of my nose. "Do your worst."

I let Lily take over and usher me inside. She put me in seven different gowns, fussing over them and my figure. On dress #8, she clapped her hands and declared me ready.

"Are you sure?" I said uneasily. It was pale blue chiffon, going down to my knees, a sweetheart crossover bodice, with a thick blue band of chiffon running around the waistline.

"Your opal necklace will make it perfect when I finish your hair and makeup." She said happily. We left the boutique, wallets significantly lighter. The ball was just hours away, and Lily was already talking about getting back to the castle and fixing our hair and make-up.

I caught sight of Sean leaving The Three Broomsticks with a group of his Quidditch friends. Inspiration struck. "Just a second, Lily," I said quickly and trotted over to Sean. He was laughing and smelled like butterbeer.

"Hey, Harkstone!" Ryan Levine said amicably, grinning down at me. "Remind me to never mess with you."

I knew he was referring to the fight I'd had with Angelina. I rolled my eyes. Flitwick had docked fifty points from Ravenclaw and given me detention for a week, beginning the first day after holiday break ended.

"Very funny." I said dryly. I looked up at Sean. "Mind if I have a minute?"

Sean smiled that disarming grin of his. "I'll meet up with you guys in a second." When they had gone, Sean stuffed his hands in his pockets. "What's up, Amber?"

He didn't bring up the incident, which I was grateful for. I cleared my throat, nervous. "Well… I just wanted to let you know, I've decided to go to the ball after all. And uh… I would be really happy if you wanted to go. With me. Because you asked. And… and… what's wrong?"

Sean's face fell. "Oh, Amber, I'm sorry, but I've already asked someone else. And she agreed."

The first fluttery feelings I'd had been days vanished. I felt like someone had thrown a bucket of cold water over me. "Oh."

Sean sighed heavily. "I'm really sorry, Amber. Damn. I would have loved to take you."

I didn't know what to say. I felt like crying again. "It's okay." I lied.

Sean chewed his lower lip. "I'll see you there tonight. Maybe we can grab a butterbeer together sometime."

"Yeah. Okay." I said dully. I wanted to get away from him and another rejection.

Sean apologized again. "Merry Christmas, Amber." He said, and he sounded genuine. I gave a half-hearted smile. "You too, Sean."

I turned away and trudged back to Lily. She studied me carefully. "You asked him back, didn't you?"

"Forget it." I growled, fighting back tears. "Boys are stupid."

Lily gave me a sympathetic hug. "And that's why girls are better than boys at everything in life. Come on, I'll get chocolate and butterbeer that we can have while we get ready."

I gave her a look. "It's barely eleven!"
Lily frowned. "Oh. Right. Well, let's have a girls' day first, then. Long soak in the baths, hand massages, and then we can pig out. And then get ready for the ball."

"Whatever you want." I said bracingly, even though I meant Anything that distracts me from what's going on.

We spent the afternoon wandering in Hogsmeade and then lounging in the local spa, which was hosting a special discount for Helga Hufflepuff's birthday. Lily insisted we start getting ready for the ball at two. The dance wasn't until five. I conceded at two-thirty. We decided to use a girl's' bathroom on the third floor, completely empty, since all the classes had halted for holiday and everyone was in their Common Room. Lily was twirling her wand into her hair and making it curl in soft red waves. "Simple heating charm," she explained as I stared at her.

I faced myself in the reflection. I had no idea where to start.

"I think I'll go like this." I decided, and got up to leave.

Lily gaped at me. "No, you aren't! You sit down and wait until I'm finished with my hair and make-up and let me do yours. I won't be long. And it'll be fun!"

I looked at her dubiously. "If you say so."

More than facing Folsom a few days ago, I was dreading going to this ball. What if I saw Angelina and Remus? My stomach clenched horribly. I closed my eyes to chase away the nausea.

Lily finished her applications quickly and turned to me. She gave me a wicked grin. "This is going to be so much fun."

I made a face. "I doubt it."

"Oh, hush." Lily pulled a comb through my long hair, working at the tangles without complaining. She brushed it until it was seamless. Then she rubbed a white paste into it and tousled it with her fingers.

"There." She said as she picked up her make-up bag and started on my face. "Close your eyes until I'm done."

I obeyed. What felt like an hour later, she said, "Okay, you can open them now."

I did.

At first I didn't recognize the stranger staring back at me in the mirror. She had softly curling, flyaway-free honey-blonde hair tumbling down to her mid-back. Her skin was clear and bright. Full lips, painted red. Blush on her cheeks. Black, liquid eyeliner running the length of her cat-eyes. Thick, black lashes.

I swallowed hard. "Lily."

Lily beamed. "Do you like it?"

I touched my hair tentatively, afraid it wasn't really me. But it was.

"What… what did you do you to me?"

Lily giggled. "Don't tell me you don't like it. Remus and Sean will be kicking themselves. You are beautiful."

I bit my lower lip. I couldn't tear my gaze away from myself. "What's on my fingers?"

"Glitter and polish." Lily said happily. She was pulling on her pink dress. It fell down to her feet in an elegant pink waterfall. The V-neck made her collarbones stand out and enhanced her blossoming figure. The pink ruffled sleeves on her shoulders complimented her fair skin. She pinned in pearl earrings and then clipped my hair back away from my face and gave me a look. "Come on, put your dress on! And the shoes."

Grumbling, I obeyed. I let her zip up the back of the blue dress while I held my hair out of the way. Then I stepped into the black flats.

"Wait." Lily said. She stuck a pink lily in her hair behind her right ear and grinned at me. "How do I look?"

I smiled, the first real one I'd had since The Incident. "Like an angel."

Lily beamed. "And you look like a miracle."

I frowned. "Hey."

Lily giggled. "In the best way. Come on."
We left the bathroom and down the moving stairways. The air hung with a tangible sense of excitement and anticipation. Several students were filtering down towards the Great Hall, which had been decorated for the Christmas holiday with twelve sparkling Douglas fir trees, live fairies, and endless red-ribboned garlands criss-crossing overhead. Severus was waiting nervously by one of the Christmas trees. He brightened when he saw Lily.

"You look…" he swallowed hard, apparently lost for words. "You look beautiful."

"Thank you." Lily was glowing. "You look very handsome, Sev."

Pink filled Severus' sallow cheeks. He walked with her through the double doors. I hung back, unwilling to enter. Lily looked over her shoulder and gave me an encouraging smile. Sighing, I resigned myself to my fate. I entered the Hall alone and unaccompanied.

In addition to the Christmas decorations, the house elves and staff had also added several Hufflepuff ornaments. Yellow and black ribbons were strung across the buttresses, and a gigantic birthday cake sat where the staff table once was. Countless candles glowed upon it. I walked toward it, transfixed, like a moth to a flame. The candles weren't dripping, probably magically modified, and the icing was several shades of yellow and pink. All of the candles were black, giving it the appearance of a giant bumblebee.

It must have been the birthday cake for Helga Hufflepuff, which meant that one thousand candles were sticking into it. I shook my head in amazement.

A band consisting of a goblin, elf, and an elderly bard were playing not far. The hilly, uplifting melodies were Celtic. I surveyed the mass of students, guessing that roughly half of the Hogwarts students had decided to stay for the Christmas holiday just to partake in the ball. I milled over to the long, white table across the room that held several refreshments. I chose a chocolate-covered strawberry and watched several older students slow-dancing with their partners. Younger ones - my age and under - were in clusters, gyrating and making up more robust dance moves, laughing. I spotted James and Sirius, Peter in tow, setting off small fireworks that spiraled in pretty colors before bursting. I watched with faint amusement as Professor Smith and Professor McGonagall strode over to confiscate the contraband.

It had only been five minutes and already I wanted to go back to my room. I shuffled awkwardly on my feet. I didn't want to be here. Lily and Severus were talking animatedly over by the punch bowl. I had never seen Severus look so happy before. Even though I wanted to at least have Lily for company, I didn't want to spoil his rare happiness.

I wandered aimlessly around the Great Hall, studying the black griffins holding up the large flaming lamps that illuminated the surroundings. I noticed, for the first time, the faint gray markings and imprints on the walls of various ancient symbols. I felt the inspiration to visit the library and satisfy my curiosity. Perhaps if I was very quiet, Madam Pince wouldn't notice my unwanted presence.

I was about to execute my plan when I spotted Sean in the center of the Hall. He was twirling Anna Noyes around like a ballerina. She looked radiant. I watched them with a twist of envy and guilt. Why hadn't I just accepted his invitation? Why had I been stupid enough to think that Remus would take me?

I took a swig of pumpkin juice to try and wash away the rising bitterness. It did little to help. Biting my lip, I threw away the empty cup and headed for the exit. I wasn't going to torment myself any longer.

"Hey, Harkstone!"

I closed my eyes, willing myself to be patient. "What is it, James?"

James and Sirius had flounced over, both smelling faintly of smoke. Peter was right behind them.

"Don't you two have dates?" I asked wearily, just wanting to be alone.

James nodded. "Yep, but they're off powdering their noses. How come you're not with someone?"

I glared at him. "Very funny. I don't want to do this again today, James. Good night."

"Hey, hey, wait." Sirius said. "You mean Sean didn't actually take you?"

I folded my arms across my chest. "No. I turned him down because I thought… I thought Remus would take me. But he's taking that girl instead."

"Angelina?" Sirius said.

I rolled my eyes. "Must you use her name?"

James and Sirius whistled. "Sean didn't take you, huh?"

"No." I said, getting angry.

James looked over, spotting them. "Well, I am shocked and dismayed."

"No, no," Sirius interrupted, shaking his head. "You can't be both. You be shocked and I'll be dismayed."

A smile twitched on my lips. "Is there a point to this torture, or can I go now?"

James sighed. "Look, Harkstone, we're hard on you a lot, but that's because you're tough and can take it."

"And we really thought you and Remus were into each other." Sirius added.

"So we know you must be feeling a little pain right now, even if you don't show it." James tacked on. Peter nodded in agreement.

I bit my lip to try and keep my tears at bay. I was so emotional these days. "And? You two were down my throat about it earlier, remember?"

"Well, we really thought you were just playing Remus." Sirius said awkwardly. "But Locke really isn't here with you, and you attacked Angelina." He grinned. "That was bloody brilliant."

"Wish I'd taken photographs." James said wistfully. "A perfect opportunity for blackmail, wasted."

A bubble of laughter escaped me. "I shouldn't have hit her."

"Probably not." Sirius conceded. "But it was worth it. She's so annoying. Always gabbering on and on about hair products and clothes. She tries to tag along with us and Remus, but she's a real pain in the arse. We miss having you around, Harkstone."

I shrugged. "I guess you never really know what you've got until it's gone."

James nodded once. "So, we've decided to lighten up on you. Just for tonight."

"Great." I said dryly, but I was smiling. "Back to the grind tomorrow?"

"That's right." Sirius said cheerfully. "So, you can dance with each of us in turn. And then you can go off and cry or read books or punch other girls, whatever tickles your fancy."

I laughed out loud that time. I had never really enjoyed much harmony with these boys, but tonight, something had changed. I allowed the three of them to escort me out onto the floor. Sirius took my hand first, bringing me back to the time when we had made the Unbreakable Vow in our first year. No matter what I did, I was going to be bound to this boys until the day I died.

Even Remus.

I let Sirius swing me around in a slow circle. His wolfish grin was wicked. "Care for something a bit more… robust?"

I chuckled. "Only if you can keep up."

Sirius' grin broadened. He swung me around in a tight circle, picking up the pace as the band changed to a fast, upbeat rhythm with a complicated string melody and a pounding drum beat. I laughed as Sirius spun me around, passing me off to James after a minute. Peter entered next, a full head shorter than I was, his round face shiny with perspiration. They traded me off and on again for what felt like just minutes, but when the band finished the lengthy number, I felt dizzy. I swayed slightly on my feet.

"Merlin's beard, sit down." James laughed as he lead me to a nearby table. Sirius poured me a tall drink of water. I drained it in one gulp. He refilled it and I downed a second.

"You were dancing for almost an hour." Sirius informed me as he caught his breath. "Someone was having fun."

"An hour?" I exclaimed, my face hot. James and Sirius laughed.

"We could go again." James suggested, but I waved him down. Now that I was sitting and stationery, my hot blood was cooling. Fatigue was setting in, the same feeling I had after a long Quidditch practice. It felt good to be exercised and spent. I brushed my damp hair out of my face. Lily was dancing with Severus, clearly enjoying herself, but not nearly as much as Severus, who couldn't dance whatsoever but looked over the moon just to have Lily with him. I smiled wistfully, wondering at the depth of his feelings for her. I hoped he wouldn't have to experience the same kind of pain I had with Remus.

"Oh, look." Peter mumbled, pointing. "There they are."

I knew I shouldn't have. But my gaze followed his direction, and my heart sank. There was Remus with Angelina, who was wearing a vibrant, sparkling purple gown made of some kind of shiny material, winking like stars every time she made the slightest move. James and Sirius laughed.

"She looks like she's been spending a little too much time in the Divination Tower," Sirius chuckled.

"Stealing Professor McKennitt's wardrobe." James added fondly. "What would we ever do if the world ran out of shawls?"

"And perfume." Peter added timidly.

I rolled my eyes, heaving myself to my feet. "Well, gentlemen, thank you very much for tonight, but I'd really like to leave now. I bade you good night."

"Did you hear that?" Sirius said with mock surprise. "She called us gentlemen."

"Maybe she did dance a little too much." James mused, drinking a butterbeer.

I waved them away. "Don't expect to get called it again. Good night." I made my way toward the exit and up the stairs, where the noise died away. I entered the library unnoticed and exhaled deeply, finally able to relax in the peaceful quiet. I selected a book from a shelf at random, What To Do When You May be a Wandless by Africa Blanch, and began to read. My body cooled in the draft library, and I thought of Folsom, finding me in the Shack, nearly uncovering my hiding place. I shivered in the cold, but knew that as long as I was within the castle, he couldn't touch me.

I got up on stiff legs an hour later and reshelved the book. My stomach was growling with hunger. I thought of the birthday cake waiting downstairs and decided to re-enter the ball. I did so and found the Hall half-empty, the cake cut into hundreds of pieces and left half-eaten on white plates. I selected the closest one and was pleased to see it was chocolate. I alighted gently on a chair at an empty table, watching the remaining students dance.

I felt a warning prickle on the back of my neck. I shivered in response and took a bite of the cake. It was soft and pillowy and melted in my mouth like butter.

I heard someone settle in a chair at my table. I rolled my eyes, expecting Lily. "Honestly, Lily, I'm still irked that you practically forced me into an Unbreakable Vow to attend this dance…" I trailed off, the words dying in my throat as I turned to face the newcomer.

It was Remus.

I swallowed another bite of cake and pretended not to feel the hot rush of blood in my face. I took a long gulp of water and scrambled for things to say.

Remus sighed. He was wearing a white long-sleeve with a black tie that had loosened. His black dress pants were stained with what looked like confectioner's sugar. He pulled at his top collar button and loosened it.

"Hi." He said after a moment. His tone was careful and tentative. I glared at him with all of the anger I'd felt for the past week and prompted turned my back on him.

Remus sighed again. "Amber… can't we talk?"

"No." I ate another bite of cake, even though it now tasted like ashes in my mouth.

"I want to talk to you."

"Well, I don't want to talk to you."

I heard a chair scraping. I looked over and watched Remus move closer, so that he was next to me. He smelled like cinnamon, chocolate, and fresh laundry. I glowered at him. "Go away."

"Not until we talk first."

I rolled my eyes. "Great, so now you can fill me in on all of the dirty details about you and Angelina. Well, I don't actually give a crap about what you two are like. In fact, I'd like nothing better than to pretend either of you exist."

I hadn't meant to reveal that much, but it was Remus. I had always been able to talk to him about anything, and even now, the old habit persisted. I clamped my mouth shut and reached for my glass of water, shaking.

Remus watched me sadly. He looked out onto the dance floor. Sean and Anna were talking to each other near the chocolate-covered strawberries. I suddenly wanted very much to cry; I bit my lip and forced myself to think of happier things. The look on Angelina's face when I lunged for her. Dancing with the boys. The urge to cry waned slightly.

"Amber, I'm sorry I hurt you." Remus said quietly. "I never meant to."

"Didn't you?" I snapped, rounding on him, staring him full on the face, pain twisting inside of me at the same time. "Isn't that why you asked her out, Remus? Or have you two been going out longer than then?"

Remus looked away, and I knew it was the latter. I was shocked at the amount of anguish I felt at the realization. It hurt more than I could have ever expected, because it meant that my feelings for him, which ran deeper than platonic, were one-sided. Remus had never felt anything more than friendship toward me.

And now I didn't have any hope left.

"I miss you." Remus went on, as if he hadn't seen my distress. "You're my best friend, and I don't want to lose that. Not for anything."

I couldn't speak, because I was so close to losing it, losing everything from my cake to my hold onto sanity. So I gave a tiny, curt nod instead.

"Amber, Angelina is just a girl I'm going out with. I don't care about her the way I care about you."

I shut my eyes, hoping to trap the welling tears. "I thought…" I cleared my throat. "You're not supposed to date other people. You're supposed to wait until I'm dead."

Remus gave a soft chuckle. "If it makes you feel any better, I wanted to throttle Sean every time he talked to you."

I couldn't look at him, not like this. I could hardly breathe around the gaping hole in my chest, where my heart used to be. How could I have pretended I didn't have feelings for Remus? Why had I waited so long to act on them? Of course Remus would have moved on. He was an attractive, quiet, handsome, good guy. I should have known girls would be lining up to date him.

"You knew I liked you." I said quietly.

I should have acted sooner.

Should have, could have, would have… It was over. There would be no romance between us. And why should there be? There hadn't been any before. We had always been just friends. That was how it should be. He hadn't done anything wrong by being with Angelina.

But then, why did it hurt so badly?

"I'm really sorry, Amber." Remus apologized again. I looked at him now and saw no hint of mockery or animosity. He was sincere.

I let out a deep breath I hadn't realized I had been holding. "I'm sorry I beat up Angelina."

A smile twitched on his lips. "No, you're not."

I shrugged. "You're right."

Remus laughed once. "Are we still friends?"

I studied him intently. For all of the pain he had caused me in the past week, it couldn't outweigh all of the loyalty and friendship he'd given me in the past three years. He had even saved my life once.

Angelina swooped down at the table. She sat next to Remus and tossed back her long mane of black hair. The tentative peace I'd made with Remus vanished like a candle being blown out.

"You're brave for sitting here." I said coldly, looking at Angelina. Madam Pomfrey had cleaned her up nicely. The only sign of our fight was the light shadow of a bruise under her left eye.

Angelina lifted a brow. "Oh. I didn't realize the freak was here."

I struggled to hold onto my temper. "Go. Away."

Angelina slipped her hand into Remus'. Remus looked embarrassed. He pulled his away. Angelina tried again.

I got up. "Congratulations, Angelina. I never thought you were a backstabber."

Angelina laughed without the humor. "I guess that's a compliment, coming from the girl who can't even impress her own mother."

"Angelina." Remus said sharply. I picked up a glass of water and contemplated throwing it on her. I barely curbed my temper and stormed away from the table. "That's right, run away!" Angelina called.

Remus hurried after me. "Amber, wait. Amber."

I halted. I was breathing hard through my nose, hands shaking again. I stared at him, unable to believe that he could have ever hurt me this much. And for who? A girl who stabbed her friends in the back, who stole a boy she knew another girl liked? And then aimed low blows?

"Amber," Remus said quietly, searching my face. "Are we okay?"

I stared back wordlessly. Three years of friendship, loyalty, trust... He had known I had feelings for me. I couldn't believe how foolish I'd been. I had thought he felt the same way. But no. He had been leading me on. It wasn't something friends did to each other. Different emotions roiled through me. The strongest one was rage.

Slowly, I held out a hand. Remus smiled and shook it once.

Then I slapped him across the face.