Double Feature
"The first movie is Charlie and the Chocolate Factory. I'm not sure how to explain it." Hermione told Draco as they drove away from her parents' home in their BMW.
"It's about a man who owns a chocolate factory," she began.
"Oh, I didn't get the fact that there was a chocolate factory involved from the title. Thanks," Draco drawled.
Hermione rolled her eyes, but continued, "He is a recluse for many years, after firing every employee of the factory, because he finds out some were selling him out to the competition. Yet he still manages to produce candy to be shipped all over the world. The very best candy. He announces a contest which opens up the factory to just five people for a tour, and that the tickets to the tour are hidden inside candy wrappers. Pandemonium ensues."
"Genius," Draco interrupted again. "He spends basically no money on advertising, but his candy sells out, yeah?"
Hermione sighed, "That isn't the point of the movie, Draco."
"Hmph, it should be."
"Well, it really isn't. The point is the tour itself. The five children who win it come from all over the world and have very different backgrounds. The final boy to win a ticket is named Charlie, and he is a pauper."
"Ugh. It sounded like an ok movie until you told me I would have to watch a movie about Ron Weasley. What's the other one? Hopefully something better."
Draco drummed his fingers against his jean clad knee. He'd been unsure about the idea of a Drive-In Movie theatre from the start. It sounded uncomfortable to sit in an automobile for four hours or more to watch movies they could view from the comfort of a sofa.
Hermione had insisted driving the two hours to the only remaining drive-in theater in England would be worth it. She'd explained it was a Muggle ritual that began in the 1950's,which her parents had enjoyed when they were dating, and then she'd tried a few times with Ron when they dated.
Draco honestly wasn't sure how he felt about recreating a date from her only other serious boyfriend. The one everyone else thought she would marry.
He'd only agreed when she offered to toss in another Muggle idea she'd been mulling over.
Psychedelic mushrooms. The conversation had been hilarious.
"Have you ever tried drugs, Draco?" she'd asked out of the blue.
"What? Why? Wait, what?" he'd been so confused.
"I mean, have you ever tried smoking marijuana, or any other Muggle drugs?" she'd been blushing as she asked him this. She was staring him straight in the eyes, willing herself not be embarrassed or intimidated. This really could have gone sideways.
"No. Just alcohol for me."
"Oh." Her face had gotten guarded, and her eyes had fallen to stare at her shoes.
"Hey," he had reached out to grab her chin, lifting it up and hoping her eyes would follow as he said, "I don't care if you have."
Her demeanor had showed obviously worry of judgement.
Hermione had stammered, "The pot… it helped a lot with my anxiety in the beginning. Back when... well... it went on for quite a few years."
She had left out who she mainly smoked it with.
"It relaxed me. It helped me see the good, the bright and shiny, in the world around me again." Hermione had tried to explain.
"You don't have to justify your choices to me, Hermione. It's ok, really," he had told her, grabbing her hands.
She had taken a deep breath. She knew she didn't have to explain herself. And that hadn't even been the point in her bringing this up.
"Well, I always wanted to try mushrooms. The psychedelic kind. Do you know what I mean? I wanted to see if maybe you thought that could be fun? I mean, I could pick a movie that would be fun to watch while our minds are in a slightly different state."
He had thought it was so cute to see her so vulnerable. He had said yes without really thinking too much on it.
So now, here they were on their way to the drive-in movie theatre outside of Brighton to eat some mind-bending drugs and watch a movie Hermione had guaranteed Draco would be fun.
"Tell me again, how long will the effects last?" He'd asked this question before, but was seeking reassurance he wasn't going to be "on a trip" for the next twelve hours. He'd done a bit of research and had his worries.
"Just five hours or so. It should be worn off by the time we're ready to drive away." She told him, once again.
He sighed. Draco fervently hoped she knew what they were doing and they weren't making a colossal mistake.
They drove up the coast to Kent, the site of the only remaining drive-in theatre still operating in Great Britain. They got there early and Hermione handed Draco a peanut butter sandwich.
"The mushrooms are mixed in with the peanut butter. I've been told they're fairly disgusting on their own. This makes them mostly palatable."
Draco opened the sandwich to inspect it and immediately wished he hadn't. There was nothing appetizing about the looks of the off-colored fungus amidst the chunky spread.
"I was also told it's best if you eat it quickly," Hermione told the grimacing wizard.
"Who exactly told you all this?" Draco inquired. He wasn't trying to stall eating the unpalatable looking sandwich, really.
"Luna."
A few things passed through Draco's mind, but he decided to keep his mouth shut. Hermione had a soft spot for Lovegood.
One hour later…
"See - business mastermind! You could learn something from him." Draco sat on the edge of his seat, mesmerized by the large screen
"Is that what the Weasley's hovel looks like?" He turned to her with glassy eyes.
"No!" she swatted his arm. Although, the way the little home in the movie canted did remind her a bit of The Burrow…
"Sweet Salazar, what are those creatures supposed to be?"
"Oh my god, the river is never going to end… Noooo… They're going back into the womb! They need to come out! To be birthed anew!" Draco was sure he was being deep.
"It's all a trick isn't it?" He turned to Hermione, his pupils so wide.
She nodded reassuringly.
"Holy shite! This movie is about George Fucking Weasley. How do Muggles know about George Weasley?!" Draco was getting a bit loud.
"Shhh!" Hermione admonished him, although the effect wasn't what she hoped for as she was also giggling at the same time.
"This movie isn't about George Weasley. It's based upon a book that was written before George was even born."
"Are you telling me that a seer wrote all of this down and no one ever knew? Does George know? We should tell George. I mean, look at Wonka. Besides his good luck of not being a ginger, that chocolate maker is a wizard, specifically, George Fucking Weasley. You must see it!" Draco was getting seriously worked up.
Hermione shook with laughter.
Draco watched her hair bounce. He imagined it waving in the wind. Looking like a lion's mane.
"You're such a fierce lion with your mane," he told her, momentarily forgetting the movie.
"Only male lions have manes," she snorted.
Draco looked back to the screen.
"What the actual fuck? Why would she go in there with all those squirrels?!" he cringed. "They could be feral!"
"Muggle technology is scary enough, but this too much. He's inside the telly. With the apes. And they keep flipping the channels. Those are some sadistic little buggers George has working for him. I can't watch. Oh, why are you making my watch this?"
Of course, he didn't take his eyes off the screen the entire time.
"George! No! You are such an arsehole!" Draco had given up talking to Hermione and now directly addressed Willy Wonka, calling him George.
When the movie ended, he just sat there quietly for a few minutes digesting it all.
"Wait!" he said, still not moderating the volume of his voice. "Why did they keep singing?"
"Oh Merlin, you just realized there was singing?"
"Willy Wonka! Willy Wonka! Everybody give a cheer!" Draco sang over and over as they stood in line for sodas. Neither could think about eating in their current state, but both were thirsty.
They made it back to the car with time to spare before the next movie.
Hermione couldn't stop giggling. Draco kept looking around them, his head seeming to swivel on an axis.
"It really was George Weasley." Draco whispered reassuringly to himself.
The next movie started.
"There's singing in this movie too. Why do Muggles sing to each other? Why don't the others think it's weird? Why…" Draco trailed off, listening intentally. "Merlin's balls! Hermione! They're singing about shagging! No one sings about shagging!"
Hermione figured she'd been giggling non-stop for three hours now.
"I don't understand. What is that Slytherin doing hanging out with all of the Hufflepuffs? She's the only one with any sense."
"Oh, see, the Slytherin is ditching them. She knows." Draco looked smug when Rizzo climbed out the window and into the waiting car.
"Oh the agony. This is awful. And it makes no sense," Draco moaned like the spoiled brat he could still be at times.
"Can we talk about this for a minute while the blonde acts like no one would ever act?" Draco tuned out the hideous singing and images of a grown women playing in a puddle, ruining someone else's photos. "How did she get to this point? Something just came up and she suddenly moves to California? What came up? Like someone making this movie couldn't even be bothered to have her say her father accepted a job transfer?"
"I know, right?" Hermione agreed. "And there really isn't any explanation on what Danny was doing spending his summer half way across the world either. Too much is completely… Ugh!" She threw up her hands in exasperation, at a loss for words.
"This movie looks all sweet and innocent, but-" Draco looked at her in shock. "The girls will cream?! No one says that in real life."
Draco paused. "Oh, wait. I may have told Theo that once when we were talking about showing off our family rings to Pansy, Millicent, and Daphne," he admitted sheepishly. "But, let's be clear, we didn't sing it to each other!"
Hermione was still giggling non-stop.
"For the record, Slytherins can also be good at sports. I mean, have you seen me play Quidditch?" Draco pointed out while Danny's disastrous performances in multiple sports played across the screen.
"Is that bloke dead? Is he a ghost? Or is that what Muggles imagine their God looks like? Seems a little smarmy to me. Hermione, why aren't you as confused as me?"
"The Yule Ball was much better than this, but ended pretty much the same for me," Hermione said sagely when the scene with National Bandstand came up.
"Wait! They're at a drive in theatre too? This is in-fucking-sane. They even have the same little singing snack commercial we had." Draco appeared gobsmacked.
"Wait! Wait! Wait! You've been holding out on me. Where's the snogging in the backseat?" Draco demanded, affronted.
Draco glanced behind them, noting the second row in this car was much smaller than the one on the screen. He contemplated an extension charm.
"Get your mind out of the gutter," Hermione pulled his attention away from the backseat.
"I was promised an authentic drive-in experience," Draco looked at her.
"Don't even think about racing my parents' car," Hermione warned Draco.
"No, no, no. Just, no. You don't get the girl by being a wanker in a white sweater. No one wants the namby pamby," Draco attempted to inform Danny.
"Hermione, take notes. Those trousers, black high heels, and that lipstick." Draco eyed Hermione hungrily, imagining her in a similar outfit.
"The hair should be easy," he laughed.
"Prat," she said, without any real heat.
"Oh, she's singing to him about shaping up. Yes, because that's how you get a bloke to change. Certainly," Draco scoffed.
"Hermione, I have no clue what happened here tonight."
"Neither do I," she admitted.
"We'll need to repeat it, just to see if we can get similar results."
"They only keep this place open in the summers. I think that leaves just a couple more weeks. And they don't change the movies every night. We'll need to check their schedule."
She was so in.
"Is there always singing? I like the singing." He had a weird dreamy look on his face. She was pretty sure he didn't know what he was saying at this point.
"No, there isn't always singing, sorry." Better to not get his hopes up, in case he was serious.
"Huh," he said, scratching his head.
"How much longer is this stuff going to last?" he asked a bit later. They were the last ones there.
Hermione reached into the glove box and pulled out two phials. "Sober up potions. Thought I would bring them just in case."
"You brilliant woman! Totally a cheat since this is a Muggle date. But brilliant!" Draco crowed.
Five minutes later.
"Bloody hell."
Hermione nodded as she started up the car. Draco's sentiment summed it up.
A/N: I have zero excuses. Not a one. 89JadedPictures is an amazing beta who has been pushing me to publish this chapter for nearly six months. You should reward her for her tenacity and go check out her work. And if you are feeling kind this holiday season, leave me a review as a gift.