DISCLAIMER:
I own nothing. I'm merely playing with the characters in the sandbox that is my imagination.

Parts of the dialogue were borrowed from The Force Awakens.

"Fear doesn't shut you down; it wakes you up."
– Veronica Roth

3.

On the Precipice of Change

Rey has no idea how she managed to escape. How she has avoided detection thus far. How Kylo Ren has not yet found her. The power from before is still tingling across her skin, buzzing in her awareness, whispering to her, lending her strength and a clarity of mind she has never experienced before.

Tricking the Stormtrooper tasked with securing her back to the interrogation table to let her go instead had been oddly easy. Having him drop his blaster for her to pick up had, also, been easy. Avoiding the patrols now looking for her...

Well, she is nothing if not resourceful. She knows she cannot use the same trick on the patrols, has no idea how to focus the power at her fingertips so precisely, doesn't really even know how she made it work with the one Stormtrooper in the first place. But that's OK. She has survived years as a scavenger, scaling walls of fallen Star Destroyers, avoiding death with every leap from one perch to another.

Scaling the wall down from the walkway leading to the TIE fighter hangar in order to reach the service hatch is no problem for her. The hatch is easy to open, it's not even locked. On the other side, she continues to climb, blessedly out of sight of the patrols. She focuses on nothing but the climb, nothing but reaching the next stable perch. It comes to her naturally, after years and years of practice, the plotting, the moving, the climbing and descending. Nothing exists for her in that moment, nothing but getting to the goal she has set for herself. The exit. Her escape route. She doesn't even know how she knows to move towards it, but she does so anyway, letting her hands and feet carry her towards it, out of sight, a shadow in between the lights on the wall.

Another service hatch, another unlocked door, and Rey is back on the other side, the side she started from. For the briefest of moments she entertains the incredulous – and admittedly hilarious – though that someone ought to tell the First Order just how poor their security is in these areas. But she does not focus on that thought for long. Instead she pauses for the briefest of moments, listens, and moves again, certain that the walkway above her is empty. She climbs, up, up, up, and reaches the walkway, undetected. She glances around, pauses to listen, knees slightly bent, ready to flee.

No one has spotted her and the corridor is blissfully empty, so she moves on. When she rounds the corner she runs into Han, Chewie and Finn. Relief, surprise and disbelief war inside her mind.

How?

Why?

Han clasps her shoulder, gently, looking at her face with a crinkle of worry at the corners of his eyes. "Are you alright?"

She manages a shaky breath and a nod, tension from fleeing alone dissipating from her body. "Yeah."

"Good", Han says, nodding as he lets go of her shoulder.

"What happened?" Finn asks then, his tone worried for her. For her! "Did he hurt you?"

Rey suppresses a flinch. Years as a scavenger forbid her from showing a weakness. These are her friends, but old habits are hard to break, and she wants to appear strong.

"Finn. What are you doing here?" she asks him instead, deflecting his question, not trusting her reactions enough to answer.

"We came back for you."

She gapes, stares, her gaze intently on Finn. She glances at Han, then Chewie, and she cannot believe it. They came back. For her.

No one has ever come back for her.

She cannot help the tears that spring to her eyes.

-o-o-o-

Kylo Ren is furious. The girl has escaped. The guard he had left her with is nowhere to be found. She has realised the power within her and is now testing its limits. Every moment that passes will make her bolder, stronger, more knowledgeable of what, exactly, she is capable of.

He should have secured her to the interrogation table himself.

Stupid, stupid, stupid, stupid –!

Anger simmers. Ren cannot let her escape. He must find her. Snoke wants Ren to take her to him. She is the awakening his Master had spoken of, the awakening that Ren himself had sensed in the Force.

But she has become a ghost, avoiding detection, avoiding even Ren himself. He can feel her energy in the Force, somewhere in the base, but he cannot pinpoint her exact location. It's as if she is shielding herself from him, warding off his attempts to find her. Clumsy and inexperienced as she may be, she is still somehow succeeding.

And then, he senses it. A presence he did not expect to feel here.

His father has arrived. Han Solo must have come for the girl – for Rey. Hate courses through him at that thought, hate and years old jealousy that some scavenger from Jakku would gain such an attention from his father. And in that moment Kylo Ren understands what must be done. He abandons his search for the girl for the time being, knowing that he can find her later, after he has dealt with Han Solo.

He gives himself to the Force, lets it guide his steps to his destination, a squad of Stormtroopers behind him. The confrontation with Solo is his to take care of, but he knows, as certainly as he knows he will find the girl, that Solo would never come alone. It is then, as he feels the Force course through him – around him – that he realises the scavenger girl is not the only reason Han Solo has arrived, that there is another motive for their presence on Starkiller.

This has to be the beginning of an attack run.

The oscillator is their target, and Kylo Ren's destination. He can sense his father's presence within and he knows his moment has come, the moment that the Supreme Leader has spoken of. He takes a moment to collect himself, to cloak his feelings in the anger that always simmers just beneath the surface.

He will not fail. He must not falter.

He gives the signal. The Stormtroopers snap to attention and the doors to the oscillator open with a low whoosh. It is dark inside – they have cut the power to the lights – but Ren does not need the light to be able to move in the dark. He steps inside, pauses, scans the structure with his eyes – with the Force – and sends the Stormtroopers to the upper levels.

The Force leads him to the lower level. He feels his father's presence, knows that he is close. He pauses at the railing, closing his eyes, reaching out to the Force, sensing...

His eyes snap open, his head turns. There. His eyes intent on his target, he moves down the stairs, moves to the vertical support beam right in front of him. He is close. So close. So close he can nearly taste it...

But not close enough. There is a ripple in the Force and he knows his father was here mere moments ago, hiding behind that beam. The space there is now empty, and Ren moves along, searching, reaching out with the Force... He sees the bridge and decides to cross, feeling the Force urge him onwards, that the bridge is where he is supposed to go.

He is nearly on the other side when he hears it.

"Ben!"

He stops, his breath hitches in his throat as the echo of that long forgotten name bounces off of the walls. The moment has come – the moment of his decision, his trial. Now, faced with the decision that looms in front of him, he finds his resolve faltering. He turns, slowly, deliberately, every movement measured, flawless, concealing his inner turmoil.

"Han Solo", he says, his tone even, unflinching, betraying none of his feelings. "I've been waiting for this day for a long time."

His father is hesitating, a sense of uncertainty radiating off of him through the Force.

"Take off that mask", Solo finally tells him, his voice weary. Tired. "You don't need it."

Ren very nearly scoffs. "What do you think you'll see if I do?"

Uncertainty vanishes. Han's face steels into determination as he moves forwards, towards the figure clad in black on the bridge. "The face of my son."

Ren watches his father for a moment in silence, then removes his mask for the second time that day. He pulls it off slowly, his movements controlled, betraying nothing. And then he raises his gaze to meet his father's, his face a blank mask void of emotions, and he lets the mask drop from his fingers.

It hits the bridge with a metallic clang.

He takes a small amount of pleasure from the unsettled look that passes across Han Solo's face.

"Your son is gone", he says out loud, his simmering anger colouring his tone. "He was weak and foolish, like his father. So I destroyed him."

"That's what Snoke wants you to believe", Han tells him, still determined. "But it's not true. My son is alive."

The anger is no longer simmering. It bursts to the forefront, and Kylo Ren sneers. "No. The Supreme Leader is wise."

Han moves even closer, the look upon his face stern. "Snoke is using you for your power. When he gets what he wants, he'll crush you. You know it's true."

Ren hesitates. Deep down, he does know. He has always known. But it's too late. Too late to go back, too late to second guess his decisions. He knows the day is coming, the day when Snoke inevitably turns against him, and all he can do is be prepared for its eventual arrival.

"It's too late", he says out loud, his voice lowered, his anger subdued.

Han shakes his head. "No, it's not. Leave here with me. Come home. We miss you."

Oh how he wishes he could believe that. He wants to believe that. Wants it so much that it tears at him, tears at his very soul so much that it borders on physical pain. But he cannot. He cannot. Snoke had warned him. Told him that this trial of his would be difficult. He had believed himself to be strong, but now...

Now he is not so sure.

"I'm being torn apart. I want to be free of this pain", he says out loud, voice faltering, vulnerable. This decision pains him, pains him much more than anything he has ever felt. He cannot grasp his ever simmering anger, cannot drown his pain with it. Not now, not when faced with the gentle face of his father.

"I know what I have to do, but I don't know if I have the strength to do it" he says out loud, voice barely above a whisper. "Will you help me?"

Han takes the few final steps towards his son, his expression stoic, but not unkind. "Yes. Anything."

Ren unclasps his lightsaber from his belt and slowly, ever so slowly, offers it to his father. Han Solo looks at him in disbelief, surprised that his son is doing this, offering his weapon to him as a sign of... What? Peace?

Han Solo smiles, and suddenly Kylo Ren remembers. Remembers his childhood, the loneliness, the abandonment. The father that never wanted him, never took him to his adventures. The mother that was too busy to notice the anguish of her son, too busy to give him comfort when he needed it.

The uncle that betrayed him.

The light from the sun falters and dies, and with it dies the Light in Kylo Ren's eyes. There's a momentary flicker of uncertainty on Han Solo's face, as if he suddenly realises what is going to happen, that this exchange is not going to end as he had thought.

The lightsaber crackles to life, its vicious hum filling the silence. Darkness fills Kylo Ren as he watches the life ebb away from his father. He extinguishes the blade and Han stumbles, catching the railing for support.

Han Solo glances at his son for one last time before he plummets to the abyss below. Kylo Ren steels himself against the emotion he saw in those eyes before the inevitable fall.

Forgiveness.

"NO!"

He looks up, Darkness swirling within him, feeding him with more power than he has ever felt, and his gaze lands upon the girl. He feels nothing, nothing but anger, anger and relief at having passed this trial. His priorities shift, and no longer is he focused on finding Han Solo. He has a new target now, a new priority.

Rey.

He falters when the bolt from Chewbacca's bowcaster hits his side.

-o-o-o-

Rey has never seen snow and now... Now she has no time to appreciate it, no time to stare at it in wonder. The pine forest is eerily dark around them as Finn drags her through the falling snow. Agony is clear on both their faces, the agony of the unexpected loss they have just witnessed.

Han is gone.

Rey feels the tears in her eyes and cannot comprehend their presence. She has never cared enough for another being to feel this broken about their loss. There was never room for affection or attachments on Jakku, not in the life of a scavenger. But she knows Han's death is more than that, more than the simple sorrow at the loss of someone she has grown fond of. She feels his loss like the loss of a father she has just been reunited with.

It is pain. Uncontrolled, unfiltered pain.

Suddenly they slam into a halt, and Rey instantly understands why. Kylo Ren emerges from within the forest, his dark hair whipping around his face, his eyes glittering pools of darkness. He flicks his wrist, igniting his saber, its vicious hum filling the forest as snow falls around him, painting the trees and the snow with red. The sight fills Rey with a new sense of dread.

He's going to kill them.

But Kylo Ren does not move. He ignores Finn's presence, his whole focus on Rey, and she instinctively raises the blaster she stole from that Stormtrooper that had guarded her cell.

"We're not done yet", Kylo Ren tells them – tells her.

She seethes, her anger returning, the power coming with it in rippling waves, overpowering the ever growing feeling of terror that they are going to die here. "You're a monster!"

Kylo Ren ignores her words. "It's just us now. Han Solo can't save you."

Rey snaps. She moves forward, aims the blaster, preparing to fire, Han's instructions at the forefront of her mind. But the blaster flies out of her grasp, and she feels the surge of Kylo Ren's power as he violently pushes her backwards. She hits a tree, harshly, forcefully, and falls to the snow covered ground. Pain. Pain all over her. Terror that she is going to die. The impact has dazed her, and her control at the gathering power is slipping. She is barely aware of Finn's frantic calls, her dazed mind focusing solely on the vicious hum of Kylo Ren's red blade.

Suddenly, another hum springs to life, painting the forest in blue. The Skywalker lightsaber. In her daze she manages to move her head just enough to see Finn and Kylo Ren face one another. Rey had forgotten about Luke Skywalker's lightsaber, didn't even know what had become of it after she had frantically tried to rid herself of it and the vision touching it had provided by thrust it into Maz's hands. But now she is filled with a new hope as she sees it in Finn's grasp.

Suddenly both blades are moving, the sound of their clashing fills the air, painting the forest in red, blue and an odd shade of purple. Rey is still stunned, unable to move her body, barely coherent enough to watch the swirling lights of the lightsabers through the flurry of snow Finn and Kylo Ren raise with their movements. It is...

Beautiful.

Suddenly Rey's mind snaps back into focus when she hears Finn's agonised yell. She scrambles back up to her feet, just in time to see Kylo Ren straighten his pose, barely sparing another glance at his fallen opponent as he switches off his lightsaber. He reaches out with his hand, and Rey follows the movement.

Luke Skywalker's saber.

Anger simmers and suddenly Rey's arm snaps up, her fingers outstretched towards the saber. She will not have this monster take the saber. She will not! She recalls the vision she saw when her fingers first grazed its surface, and fears what Kylo Ren might see if he were to do the same.

Power swirls around her, swelling, and suddenly the saber flies through the air. It zooms past Kylo Ren, who has just enough time to take a small step back to avoid it from colliding with his head. The saber lands in Rey's hand, and she feels it... pulse. The power around her reacts, and she grasps the saber with both hands. Kylo Ren is staring at her, disbelieving that she snatched the weapon from right under his grasp.

She ignites the saber. Her eyes are ablaze, reflecting the lightsaber's glow, and she sees Kylo Ren falter, hesitate. He ignites his weapon, twirls it in his hand, and takes his battle stance. Waiting.

Rey charges.

-o-o-o-

Kylo Ren is surprised by the ferocity she shows when she attacks him. She has never fought with a sword before, that much is obvious from her movements, from the way she swings the lightsaber, and how she is unbalanced by the lack of weight from the blade itself. But he can feel power collecting around her, guiding her steps, her movements. She follows them on instinct, slashing, dodging, parrying, her ferociousness driving Ren back, forcing him to defend himself.

Never has he fought with an opponent like this before. Never has he felt such raw, untamed potential in someone. Never has he seen the Force respond to an opponents command's with the strength it does when she wields it.

But no, that is not quite true. He has seen this before, in himself. He is much like her, with the untamed power of the Force that is always at his fingertips. He barely considers it nowadays – using the Force is second nature to him. But he knows it is not so simple for everyone, that not all Force sensitives find it this easy to call the Force to do their bidding.

His mother, a prime example of that.

But Rey... She commands the power at her grasp with such ease that he is astounded she has not used it all her life. It seems to come to her as easily as breathing, as easily as it comes to him. Her grasp of it is clumsy, but her ferociousness – her determination – more than makes up for it. He finds himself on the defencive, blocking and parrying her attacks, never finding an opportunity to counter.

It is then that a thought begins to emerge in his mind. A thought of a possibility that he thought was lost to him. He thought he had driven her away by the harsh method he had used to interrogate her for the location of Luke Skywalker. But this... Perhaps he can still persuade her. To have her fight with him. To have her at his side.

She is untrained. But she could be his equal.

This thought finally gives him the strength he has been looking for. The strength to not merely block her attacks, but to start pushing. He is the one that advances now, turning the tides of battle in his favour. She is untrained, and though she could be his equal, he is the one with superior command of the Force.

Their lightsabers lock and the ground behind Rey suddenly crumbles, leaving her standing precariously close to the edge. Kylo Ren takes advantage of this, pushing her towards the chasm, though his true intention is not to push her over, merely unbalance her.

He will win this fight, he is certain of that. And she will join him.

"You need a teacher!" he tells her over the violent crackling of their lightsabers, staring at her over their crossed blades. "I can show you the ways of the Force!"

Her expression falters, the ferocious look on her face melting away momentarily to give way to confusion.

"The Force", she murmurs, and she sounds... Surprised?

She closes her eyes, and he allows her that. Had she not realised the truth of the power she has been wielding this whole time? But he is patient, uncharacteristically so, as he waits for her response, not pushing nor relenting, their blades still crossed between them.

When she opens her eyes, he realises his mistake. Gone is the wild ferociousness. Her eyes now reflect only the patient calm that has allowed a lone, abandoned girl to survive the nights on Jakku with only herself and her dreams for company. The power gathers around her, and now she is aware of its presence, of the command she can exert over it.

Kylo Ren has no chance as she pushes him back, using her saber with only one hand. Beneath her calm lies the fury of the desert, and it fuels her movements, her attacks, and unbalances his movements. He falls, scampering back to his feet, but she is coming at him again, unrelenting, unforgiving.

His saber flies from his grasp, and then there is searing pain. It has been long since he has felt the scorching heat of a lightsaber cutting into his skin, burning through soft tissue, searing into his flesh, cauterising the wound instantly with its intense heat. He is unable to fully suppress his groan as he falls on his back, pain radiating off of the scorch mark on is face, on his chest. It's a miracle she has not taken his eye, and despite the pain he cannot help but stare at her in wonder.

She stands above him, saber held low at her side, its tip pointed towards the ground. Her eyes reflect the darkness of space, her power the violently pulsing stars that will tear apart anything that comes too close.

And he realises, then, that she is close to the edge. So close to taking her final step to the Dark Side. All she has to do is kill him, and though every fibre in his body screams for him to defend himself, he knows that he cannot.

And so he resigns himself to his fate. To merely watching her in silence, waiting for the final blow.

-o-o-o-

Rey is panting, harsh breaths, gasps of the cold air of the pine forest. The smell of ozone lingers in the air, a result of their intense duel, a duel that she won. She vibrates with intense power, power she has never felt before. It is intoxicating, this power that she now commands. Kylo Ren stares up at her from where her last blow landed him. Weak. Defeated. She could end this all now, avenge Han's death, with one last strike.

Time stills around her as she is faced with that decision. He is defenceless, resigned to his fate, waiting for his death to come. It is in that moment that she realises the true edge she is balancing on. The chasm behind her means nothing at the face of falling to the same Darkness that she saw in his eyes moments before he killed his own father.

Images flash before her. One Lord of Darkness falling, another rising in his wake. She would take revenge on every wrong ever done to her, a hurricane of destruction as powerful as the sandstorms of Jakku. No one would stand in her way, none would be left alive after she is done.

She would even kill her friends.

She gasps, her eyes clearing, widening in fright at the vision of death and destruction she sees awaiting her if she takes this final step. Suddenly the ground quakes beneath her and she stumbles as another chasm forms between herself and her fallen opponent. She cannot tear her eyes away from him, cannot stop the terror of what she almost did from seeping into her eyes.

He does nothing. Only watches her, his face perfectly blank.

He knows, she realises. Knows the vision she just saw. Knows the future that would have awaited her had she struck him down. She knows he can see the weakness in her eyes now, her fear and terror of herself and what, exactly, she is capable of.

She tears herself away from his gaze, reminds herself that the planet is crumbling down around them. She stumbles through the snow and fallen trees, struggling to maintain her balance as powerful tremors shake her to her very core. Somehow she manages to find Finn, manages to drag him towards where he said the Millenium Falcon was waiting, hoping that Chewbacca has made his way there safely.

She cannot shake the feeling of his eyes upon her, even when they are long gone, safely inside the Falcon and enveloped in the stunning light of hyperspace, nor the terror of just how close she was to becoming like him.

AN: Alright so I finally have an idea of where all this is going, now that these first three chapters of me getting the hang of these two characters are done. The next chapter is where things start to slowly slide more and more away from canon, though there are things from The Last Jedi that I want to include. I've also set myself a goal of getting out a weekly update, so you can expect the next chapter coming out at the end of next week. :)