AN: Hey guys! Sorry this chapter is so late. Between all the pre-holiday homework and the last-minute Christmas shopping, it's been hard to find time to write. So anyways, here it is! I will try my best to get in another chapter either tomorrow or Christmas day, boxing day at the latest. Love you all and I wish you all a happy and safe holiday! Enjoy!

December 18th—The Fifth Day of Christmas

The next day, the Daily Prophet announced that the apparition ban had been lifted. Snowplows were working at clearing all the roads and people were busy shoveling their drives so that they could use their cars again. Ginny had Floo called Hermione this morning asking if they could reschedule their shopping trip for today. Hermione agreed enthusiastically.

Hermione, Ginny, Fleur Weasley, Audrey Weasley, and Angelina Weasley all got together for a whole day every December to do their holiday shopping for the rest of the Weasley family. It was a tradition they had started the first Christmas after the war ended, and one that they still carried out to this day. The idea when it started had been all the sister-in-laws getting together to buy for their family while all the husbands hung out together, even though Hermione and Ron had only been dating at the time. She and Ron dated for about three years, so the tradition had been well-established by the time they broke up. Hermione had been surprised that after all this time, the girls still invited her to tag along, but she knew that the Weasleys always considered her part of the family, even though she never officially joined. So now Hermione simply tagged along, still buying gifts for the Weasleys, but didn't spend nearly as much on them as she used to since they weren't technically family.

Hermione wrapped her scarf tightly around her neck and prepared to apparate to Diagon Alley, where all the girls agreed to meet.

"So when do you think you'll be home?" Remus asked, leaning against the door with a mug of coffee in his hand, despite it already being past lunchtime.

"I don't know. Probably not until around nine, maybe ten o'clock tonight."

"What? I can't survive the whole day without you! I might die from missing you too much!" Remus whined jokingly.

"Yes, dying is definitely a possibility without me. It has happened before, believe it or not," Hermione replied drily, checking her purse to ensure she had everything.

"Have fun, love," Remus smiled, and he walked over to give her a sweet, burning kiss that made her want to ditch all her plans and stay with him forever.

"Ugh, don't tempt me! I'm going to be late, and Fleur's tolerance for tardiness is worse than Professor Snape's was," Hermione groaned, unwrapping his arms from her waist.

"Alright then. Oh, and if you finally give in to Mrs. Potter's interrogation about our relationship, be sure to tell her that I'm fantastic in bed," Remus said, taking a sip from his mug to hide the devilish smile forming on his lips.

Hermione's jaw dropped. "You—REMUS LUPIN, YOU BASTARD! You eavesdropped on my conversation with Ginny yesterday morning, didn't you?" Hermione whacked him playfully on the chest with the wallet in her hand.

"Alright, I confess. I happened to overhear some of your conversation as I admired the decor in the hallway outside the kitchen. Completely unintentional, I assure you," Remus laughed.

"Bastard!" Hermione repeated, whacking him in the chest once more. "I'm leaving now. Don't get into any more trouble with Sirius today, no matter how much he begs."

Remus feigned shock. "Are you insinuating that I would ever do something to get myself into trouble? I assure you, Miss Granger, that I would never listen to one of Sirius' harebrained ideas."

"Mmhmm, I'm sure," Hermione rolled her eyes good-naturedly. "See you tonight."

Remus gave a small wave, and Hermione spun on the spot, apparating away from Grimmauld Place. She reappeared a second later next to Florean Fortescue's Ice Cream Parlour.

"Well eets about time!" an exasperated voice sighed behind her. "Seence when is 'ermione unpunctual?"

"I have a feeling this is a recent development, Fleur," Ginny said in a voice that told Hermione that Ginny had a good idea of the reason behind her tardiness.

Hermione whirled around to face her group of friends. Angelina and Audrey let out a squeal in unison and enveloped Hermione in a three-way hug. Normally Hermione would have protested, but she hadn't seen the girls—apart from Ginny—in several months. Work had simply gotten in the way.

"Oh, how are you, Hermione? Your hair looks lovely! Are you growing it out?" Angelina said so fast it almost sounded like one word.

"Ugh! It's been so long since we've seen you, Hermione! You didn't come to Thanksgiving at the Burrow this year. Why didn't you?" Audrey asked.

"Audrey, I already told you. Ron's new girlfriend came over, so it would have been awkward," Ginny explained exasperatedly.

"Oh right. I forgot about her," Audrey said, putting a lot more venom in the word 'her' than Hermione had ever known her capable of. Audrey was such a warm and happy person, the complete opposite of her husband, Percy, so Hermione wondered how horrid this new girlfriend must be.

"It's nice to see you guys, too. I'm sorry it's been so long, I just—wait a second! Angelina! You're—"

"I know. I'm huge. I'm only five months, believe it or not," Angelina laughed, rubbing her bulging belly lovingly through her coat.

"Wait, so you were pregnant back in August when we saw each other?" Hermione gaped, an incredulous smile breaking out on her face.

"Yeah. George and I had only found out about two weeks earlier. I can tell you that we had a hell of a time not telling. It was Molly who found out first, and it was three weeks before my first trimester ended. I swear, that woman can sniff out babies like a bloodhound!"

Hermione laughed and hugged her friend excitedly. "Congratulations! Oh, I'm so happy for you!"

"Ugh! Can we go get a drink or something? It's freezing out here and I always get better gift ideas when I'm drunk," Ginny shivered, urging the group towards The Leaky Cauldron.

"Is that fine with you, Angelina?" Audrey asked, patting her sister-in-law on the back comfortingly.

"Of course it is! Party it up, girls! You get drunk and I get a healthy baby. It's a win-win situation, if you ask me," Angelina laughed. Ginny whooped and pumped her fist in the air.

They entered the bar and ordered. Hermione went with a simple butterbeer, not wanting to be super drunk, and Audrey ordered the same. Angelina ordered herself a gillywater, and Ginny and Fleur went for a firewhiskey each, Fleur jokingly stating that she would need to be very drunk in order to stand spending all afternoon and evening with all of them.

By the time they had all finished drinking (and Fleur and Ginny were thoroughly drunk on several gigglewater shots), it was about mid-afternoon. They decided to get started on the shopping. They began with Mr. and Mrs. Weasley, who were pretty easy since Mr. Weasley went crazy over anything Muggle-related and Mrs. Weasley loved things to do with home decor. Hermione bought Mr. Weasley a polaroid camera and Mrs. Weasley a few new balls of wool for her knitting.

After that, the girls tackled all the children in the Weasley family. Hermione bought Victoire a new Quidditch-Witch doll set, complete with all the players of the Holyhead Harpies (including Aunt Ginny). She bought little Molly (Percy and Audrey's eldest) a new set of romance novels from Flourish and Blotts, and she bought Lucy (Percy and Audrey's youngest) a pink, bedazzled witch hat.

By the time they had gotten that far, it was six o'clock and they were all getting a little hungry. They deemed it a good time to stop and eat dinner. They headed down Toat Alley, a new section of Diagon Alley that was known for having a few young adult hangouts and night clubs down its narrow path. They found a cute little restaurant called Diggle's Diner and decided to eat their dinner there. The food turned out to be fantastic, and both Ginny and Fleur refilled on their alcoholic beverages over the course of dinner. The drunker the pair got, the more fun they all had.

"And so we narrowed down the date of conception to a night that George and I got so drunk that we ended up doing it in the store-room of the shop! The poor kid…totally unintentional!" Angelina squealed between gales of laughter, and all the other girls laughed until they had tears in their eyes.

"So how about you, Hermione? Have you gotten any recently?" Angelina asked with a waggle of her eyebrows once the laughter died down.

"No, not really," Hermione answered truthfully. She and Remus hadn't done anything…yet.

"And people say zhat I am zhe uptight one…" Fleur said before taking another sip of her firewhiskey.

"Ha! What a lie! I happen to know for a fact that Hermione does have a man…" Ginny said, her speech slurred ever so slightly.

"Gin!" Hermione groaned, mortified as Angelina and Audrey practically pounced on her, questions being asked so loudly that they were turning heads in the restaurant.

"What! Who is it? Come on, Hermione! You have to tell us!"

"Is he cute? Do we know him? How long have you been with him? Or is he just a shag buddy?"

"Of course he eesn't a 'shag buddy', Audrée! Do you eeven know 'ermione at all?"

"Okay, I'll tell you if you all shut up! You're being really loud and I can't have rumors going around that I'm using a man for sex. The Prophet would eat it up on toast," Hermione whisper-shouted.

"Fine, just tell us!" Angelina squealed excitedly.

"I do have something going on with a man, but it's brand new so we haven't actually slept together yet," Hermione sighed, trying not to smile at the thought of Remus' earlier request to make them think him a sex god.

"What? You haven't? But didn't you say earlier—"

"I never said anything, Gin. You did. And then I hung up on you," Hermione laughed.

Ginny squinted her eyes for a second, obviously trying to remember exactly what had happened, then her eyes widened in realization and she giggled a quiet "oh yeah…"

"But who is it?" Audrey asked, her eyes still wide with excitement.

Hermione thought about it for a moment, wondering if she should tell. "I still haven't talked to him about becoming official or not, so you can't tell anyone about it, alright? But…"

"But?!" Angelina and Audrey squeaked together.

"It's Remus Lupin," Hermione muttered quietly, her cheeks growing hot with embarrassment and happiness.

"OHMYGOD YOU'RE DATING PROFESSOR LUPIN?!" Angelina whisper-shouted.

"Hermione Granger, you naughty witch…" Audrey smiled, waggling her eyebrows.

"Oh shut up, all of you. It was purely accidental, and we tried not to. We know it's inappropriate, but you don't know how hard it is to live with someone you're extremely attracted to and—"

"Wait, you live wiz him?!" Fleur gaped before bursting into laughter.

"Well…I mean—okay, it's not what you think!" Hermione spluttered.

"Lavender moved out, and so Hermione's crashing at Grimmauld Place while she figures things out. Remus lives there too," Ginny explained.

"Exactly. Thank you, Ginny."

"So how long has this been going on? Oh, and how did it happen? Come on Hermione, we need details!"

Hermione sighed and began recounting their first kiss and how they ended up getting together after all their troubles.

"Ah, the beginning of relationships are always so much fun!" Angelina sighed reminiscently.

"Oh yeah, speaking of that: who is Ron's new girlfriend, anyway? And why do you all hate her so much?" Hermione asked curiously.

The girls all gave a collective groan of frustration. "Her name is Nikki Edgecombe. Ron brought her to Thanksgiving and she kept on talking about how horny she was! Even in front of the kids!" Angelina fumed.

Hermione gaped. "Seriously?"

"Seriously," Ginny nodded before assuming a high-pitched, breathy voice that Hermione assumed was an impression of her. "Ron got me so wet before coming here just by kissing me, and now I just can't stop thinking about how much I want him!"

Angelina followed Ginny's lead and did another impression. "Do you think it would be too rude if Ron and I left now to shag a bit before dinner? Or maybe we could shag a bit upstairs?"

Hermione had a hand over her mouth in shock, but she also couldn't help the smile that broke out on her face. What a joke!

The girls all saw Hermione trying to hide her smile, and soon enough they all found themselves laughing at Ron and his prostitute girlfriend. Hermione could believe everything about this story. One of the reasons for which he had broken up with her was that she didn't spread her legs often enough. Hermione was still angry about that to this day…serves him right to get such a dumb witch.

After that, there were some more baby and pregnancy stories, some more catching up, and before they knew it, they were back on the streets of Toat Alley. As they passed by a lingerie shop, Ginny squealed, causing the group to stop in their tracks.

"What is it, Gin?" Hermione asked.

"I think I just figured out what we're going to get our men…" Ginny said with a wicked smirk on her face.

"Oh, no…no way! You have got to be kidding me, Ginny!"

"I'm not," Ginny smiled at Hermione.

"Well, you all have fun! I'll wait for you out here!" Hermione said, the blush on her cheeks forming more out of embarrassment than the cold.

"Ah, but eet is a good idea, 'ermione! Your Remus would love eet!"

"Okay, Fleur is now officially cut off from alcohol. If she were sober, she would be on my side right now," Hermione chuckled.

"Okay, you're probably right. But Fleur is no fun when sober, and neither are you. So you can either take that stick out of your arse willingly, or I will force it out of you because you are going in that store with us either way…" Ginny stated, with Angelina and Audrey nodding enthusiastically.

Hermione sighed, knowing that Ginny Potter could be an unmovable object if she wanted to, and Hermione didn't have the energy to be an unstoppable force right now. So she gave in, and the girls all ushered her excitedly into what would be her first Witch lingerie store. It was quite different from what Hermione had expected.

When thinking of the word 'lingerie', Hermione pictured silk and lace, bras and g-strings, slips and nighties. So her first glimpse of the store was quite shocking. Everything in the store looked like it belonged more in a medieval weapon room, rather than in a lingerie shop. There were metal and chainmail slips, leather suits, bras and knickers with spikes and studs on them, and many other dangerous-looking clothes.

"Uh, Ginny. You don't expect me to wear any of this, do you?" Hermione whispered to her friend, her anxiety shooting through the roof. What if someone caught her in this shop? She would become the laughingstock of the Ministry!

"Oh Hermione, they aren't all that bad! I mean, look at this bra! You can't tell me it's not sexy…" Angelina said, holding out a bra made entirely of chainmail. Hermione stared at the golden rings that made up its entirety, wondering how on earth it could be comfortable.

"Um, I really don't think…" but she trailed off as all the others started laughing.

"Oh, Hermione! You're so gullible! This it the vampire section. Vampires are super kinky, and so they like the metal and studs. The Witches section is in the back corner," Ginny laughed, indicating the back of the shop. Hermione was relieved to see some shelves and hangers with more regular-looking lingerie. Thank Merlin…

So the girls started perusing the various fabrics and styles. Hermione was surprised at how much one could learn about a couple based on the lingerie they liked. Hermione learned that Percy had a thing for lace and ribbons and that Harry found Ginny sexiest in deep green-coloured garments, rather than red and gold as she would have predicted (which Hermione couldn't help but wonder if there was a hidden meaning in that). She also learned that George had a thing for Angelina in crotchless panties since it "provides access at all times" according to Angelina, and Hermione really didn't want to know anything more than that. And finally, she learned that Bill was pretty kinky. Fleur had instantly made her way to a shelf on the other side of the room that displayed all sorts of sex toys, and was currently comparing the prices of floggers and whips for what she called 'stocking stuffers'. Hermione tried her best not to feel nauseous.

"Are you going to pick anything, Hermione?" Audrey asked quietly, for which Hermione was thankful because she didn't want the others to start hounding her again.

"I don't know…Remus and I have only been together for a few days, so I'm not really sure if we're getting each other presents."

"Well, that's perfect then!"

"What?"

"You wear the lingerie for Christmas under your regular clothes. If he gives you a gift, then you tell him that you got him one as well and strip. Give him a bit of a show, if you're really feeling it. Any guy would go crazy for that!"

Hermione thought about this for a moment. "Wow, that idea isn't actually half bad…I can honestly say that I would never have guessed lingerie to be such a problem-solver."

Audrey laughed. Both girls peeked over their shoulders to the others, who were beginning to compare underwear choices. That meant that Hermione had about five minutes left before they would pounce on her again and force all sorts of scandalous garments on her. Hermione had to act quickly if she wanted to keep any of her dignity. Audrey seemed to be thinking along the same lines.

"From what you've seen so far, what do you think your man might be into? Would he prefer girly or sexy? Cute or scandalous?"

"Uh, I don't know. Maybe something in between all that. Nothing too girly, but nothing too scary."

"Alright, you go look for a slip or two that you might like to wear and I'll go find some bra and knicker sets," Audrey offered sweetly. Hermione gave her a quick hug in thanks, then they set to work.

Though she had a hard time finding something that wouldn't totally mortify her to wear, Hermione finally found a simple light blue silk slip with spaghetti-straps and a decent amount of cleavage that she thought would be good enough. Hermione smiled when she realized that the blue was the exact same colour as the jumper she wore for her first sort-of date with Remus. Yes, Remus would definitely love this.

Not a moment later, Audrey came back with two bags in her hand and handed them to Hermione. Hermione's brow furrowed in confusion.

"This is your Christmas present from all of us. I picked out three sets of underwear that I knew you would like for sure, and then each of us chose one more set that we wanted for you to give a try. The ones you will love are in the smaller bag, and the ones from us are in the bigger one. If we did our maths right—and we actually might not have, since Hogwarts doesn't teach maths—you should be set for underwear until Christmas. So no matter when you and your man decide to jump each other's bones, you'll be wearing underwear that will make his jaw drop," Audrey explained.

Hermione didn't know whether to laugh or cry, so she just decided to give Audrey a grateful smile and hug each of the girls. No matter how insane they drove her, she would always love them. And despite her fear of exactly what she would find in the bag when she got home, she was really excited to show it all off to Remus.