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"That's awesome!" Poe exclaims when Finn tells him about teaming up with Rose. "Man, having Leia as an advisor. That's the dream." He offers Finn a donut. Beebee-Ate whimpers, looking at the pastry with love in his eyes and his butt wriggling.
Finn glances at Poe, who grimaces but shakes his head.
"Sorry, buddy," Finn tells the dog, taking a bite. Donuts and pastries were not a part of his childhood. Poe's living room is homey, wooden with large, plush couches and armchairs. Model planes sit on the mantle, and a photograph of whom Finn assumes are his parents with a toddler Poe sitting on his mom's lap grins at them from above the fireplace. "Your mom make these?" Finn asks.
Poe shakes his head. "She died last year. Cancer."
The pastry turns to glue in Finn's mouth. He chokes. "I'm—so sorry Poe."
Poe shrugs, grabbing a throw pillow and tossing it up in the air. "It's okay."
"Not really," Finn says.
Poe reaches down and pulls Beebee-Ate onto the couch. "He's not supposed to be up here, but whatever."
"I won't tell," Finn jokes.
"Still," Poe says, staring at the blank TV screen. "You never had a family. I feel bad complaining."
Finn snorts, leaning back. He stares at the wooden ceiling. "I think that's bull. You still lost your mom. I'd give anything to have a mother to mourn, but that's still—you're still mourning."
Poe frowns. "I guess. I'm still sorry for you, too. I wish everyone could grow up with, like, parents who are always there for them and always love them."
"No kidding," Finn says, finishing the sweet donut. Powdered sugar coats his fingers. He thinks of Leia and Han and Kylo. What if that's not even enough, though? If it was, why would Kylo be so miserable?
Beebee-Ate leaps and gobbles the crumbs. Finn snickers. Poe rolls his eyes.
"Did Rose tell you what happened to her sister?" Poe ventures, handing Finn a cup of hot chocolate. Marshmallows float on top. Between this and the soda Finn can feel diabetes creeping on. Whatever.
"Um," Finn says. "Yes." He hopes Poe isn't angry. He hopes Poe doesn't kick him out. One time when he said something wrong to his foster mother, she hit him over the head, told him he would never be normal, and a few weeks later he was sent to a new home.
He doesn't even remember what he said to upset her so much. He can barely remember her face.
"That goddamn Hux," says Poe. "You know what he said to me after the accident, with Paige?'
Finn gulps. "No?"
"He said that it was a good thing my mother was dead, because that way she wouldn't have to be ashamed of me."
Finn's jaw drops. "He's like the epitome of a terrible human being."
"Seriously." Poe snorts. He drums his fingers on the side of the mug, eyes downcast. Beebee-Ate crawls next to him, dropping his head on Poe's lap. "I do blame myself, though. I know sneaking out was wrong."
And yet you still do it? Though Finn supposes Poe didn't want to leave campus the other day.
"Paige is like that, though," Poe says. "She likes sneaking out and mischief and taking risks."
"Rose said the same," Finn confirms. He glances at Poe. "Was she your girlfriend?"
Poe's eyes bulge. He lets out a laugh.
Oh no. That was wrong.
"No," Poe manages, rubbing Beebee-Ate's head.. "It's okay, Finn. I'm not laughing at you. I'm laughing at the concept. No, Paige wasn't my girlfriend. I'm gay."
"Oh," Finn says. "Cool."
"That's another barb Hux likes to throw at me," Poe says. "Because he's adding homophobia to his already long list of charming qualities." Poe leans his head back against the couch. "My dad doesn't know, though. He wouldn't freak out, he'd be fine with it, he's cool and a good person. But I still… it's hard to talk to him since Mom died."
Finn glances at the photograph above the mantle. A dark-haired woman, beautiful, beams at them. "What was her name?"
"Shara Bey," Poe says proudly. He looks up at the photograph. "I never told her either, but I'm pretty sure she knew. She's perceptive like that."
Finn nods.
"She was a good friend of Leia's," Poe adds, finishing his hot chocolate. Finn sips his. It's good, rich. "So back to Leia advising you. That's gonna be awesome. Though I suspect she might have mixed feelings because you're staying with her."
"Yeah, I'm pretty sure that's why she didn't offer," Finn admits. "But with Rose, it should be okay, right?"
Poe nods. "I'm being advised by Ms. Holdo." His voice drips in disdain. "She's the one who dresses in all purple and is absolutely dripping in jewelry 100% of the time."
"The math teacher," Finn says, remembering her lectures. They were more interesting than he thought they'd be. "She seems nice enough."
"She's not." Poe rolls his eyes. "Paige Tico was, like, her favorite student. I'm pretty sure she's only advising me because no one else would."
Finn frowns.
"It's not as if I don't feel guilty enough," Poe adds, tossing the pillow up in the air and catching it. Beebee-Ate watches and barks. "It's like the biggest regret of my life. I hope she wakes up soon."
"Do you visit her often?" Finn ventures.
"Sometimes. It's hard though. It makes me remember sitting by my mother in her hospital room. She went quickly, you know. Ovarian cancer. Too quickly."
Finn doesn't know what to say. He gulps the now lukewarm hot chocolate.
"Anyways, sorry for dumping on you," Poe says. "What's your project going to be? I'm teaming up with Kaydel Connix. We're making a droid. We're going to name if after Beebee-Ate." He smirks.
Finn laughs. He tells Poe about his and Rose's plan for pothole detectors. He hopes Poe doesn't take this as him blaming him.
"That," says Poe. "Is an excellent idea."
"Let me call him in," Maz assures Rey. "Don't worry."
"Hm?" Rey blinks. "Mr.—Mr Skywalker? No, you don't have to call him in; he's within his rights to say no—"
But of course, Maz's tiny hand is already on the phone. "Yes, hello? Luke? Get your butt down here. Right now. We've got a situation to discuss. No, grumpy McGrumperson, it can't wait! See you in three! And that's being generous by the way; I know it only take two minutes to walk from your classroom to my office." She hangs up.
Rey gulps. "I really don't—"
"Oh, pish posh," says Maz. "How're you liking Crait?"
"It's nice." Some of the students are, anyways.
Maz leans forward, studying her.
"I'm worried my parents will come back while I'm here, though," Rey adds. She presumes Maz has seen her records.
Maz sighs. "I'm sorry, child."
"The guidance counselor at my old school told me they weren't ever coming back," Rey adds, flexing her fingers. "I can't believe that."
Maz looks at her, eyes soft. "There are other people who could still come back."
"Hm?" Rey blinks in shock. Cold bites into her stomach. Was Maz agreeing? That her parents are—gone? No. I don't want that. I can't.
The door opens. "Ah! Luke." Maz beckons.
Rey turns around. A mound of fluff bounds at her.
"Artoo! No!" cries out Threepio. "Oh dear, oh dear, oh dear! Mr. Luke—your animal—"
The border collie leaps off Rey's lap and bounds over to Threepio, leaping up at him.
"Get off me, you filthy mongrel!" Threepio sounds more endeared than his words let on. Rey smiles.
Artoo leaps away from Threepio and back to Rey. She laughs, dropping off her chair to embrace the animal. He reminds her of Beebee-Ate. White hairs form around his mouth. The dog's blue eyes gleam.
"Well," says Mr. Skywalker, looking down at her. "I guess he approves of you."
"He's adorable," Rey says, scratching his ears.
"He's a monster," says Threepio.
No one pays Threepio any attention. "You rang?" Luke says, turning to Maz.
"I didn't," she says. "The universe did. See this young lady here? She's still looking for a mentor. I've read her files. I think you and her would be a great match for this project."
Mr. Skywalker's face dissolves into a frown, and Rey's hopes with it. "Maz, we've talked about this. I won't be mentoring students. I'm not cut out for it. I'm sure Rey here is a very talented engineer, but I'm simply not—"
"Hush, Skywalker," Maz commands. Rey's eyes widen. "You must face your fears, child."
Rey feels as if she's intruding on a private conversation. She turns back to Artoo, burying her face in the dog's soft fur.
"Plus, your dog likes her," Maz says.
Rey cranes her neck, looking up at Mr. Skywalker. "I don't know what your past experiences mentoring students has been like, but I promise, I'd do whatever you said. I've read about your work and I really respect it—"
His face softens. "I'm sure you have, and I'm sure you would, Rey. It's not your competency I'm worried about." He turns to Maz. "Surely Holdo or my sister—"
"It has to be you," Maz declares. "I've decided. You can't teach here and not pull your weight, Luke Skywalker, and her talents and your experience will meld well together. I think you could teach her a thing or two. Did you know, Rey, that Luke here grew up on Tatooine?"
Tatooine's just like Jakku. Rey's heard of it. She shakes her head.
"See, there you go," Maz says, clasping her hands together.
"All right," Luke agrees gruffly. He points at Rey. "Meet me after school tomorrow. Come with ideas."
Rey scrambles to her feet. Artoo whines. "I—I will! I promise. I'll be there." Her heart skips a few beats. Luke Skywalker is mentoring me.
She grins at Maz.
Leia's pleased when she hears, and while she expresses some concern about mentoring Finn, in the end she decides it is okay because of Rose Tico. Kylo scowls. "Good luck."
"Hm?" Rey turns to stare at him.
"You'll get sick of him quickly," Kylo informs her, pushing past. She glares after him, and then stomps to the living room. A plush gray couch sits underneath a huge window, and bookcases line the walls. She pulls out a notebook and begins to brainstorm ideas. Butterflies flutter in her stomach.
"Mind if I turn the game on?" Han asks, pausing with his hand on the clicker.
Rey shakes her head. "Please do."
He nods and settles into an armchair, letting out a sigh. "Heard you got Luke mentoring you. That's good, that's good."
Rey nods. "He wasn't particularly eager, but he agreed in the end."
"He's just scared," says Han. "Had a bad experience last time he tutored someone. But the circumstances were entirely different. He was running one of those labs up at Coruscant University, and one of the high school students he mentored over the summer—well. It didn't turn out well. Ruined his career. I think that's rather put him off mentoring students."
"What happened?" Rey asks, rolling her pencil around between her fingers.
Han lets out a huge sigh. He stares at the screen. Rey swallows. "A student spread rumors about him. Rumors that he was building weapons despite being on the news talking about peace all the time. Anyways, when no one believed the student, it came out he had a grudge against Luke and he lit the lab on fire."
Rey's jaw drops. "On fire?"
"Yep," says Han. "Sick kid."
Rey swallows.
"But don't worry," Han says. "I'm sure you have no plans to light the place on fire."
Rey laughs. "Hardly." But inside, her stomach churns and churns, and her lungs constrict. She glances towards the stairwell.
Kylo, that's you, isn't it?
Was it safe living here with him? How could Luke even want to be around him? She presumed they'd gotten Kylo the psychological help he clearly needed. But still.
You're a monster.
Rey's going to be working with his uncle. Kylo snorts. He really shouldn't be surprised. Though he is worried. She's too good of a person to get pulled into all of that.
He could warn her that Luke Skywalker is not what he seems. He probably should. But she probably wouldn't believe him. No one would.
Not that he's tried to tell anyone. Uncle Luke doesn't want to talk about it, and neither does he. Kylo rolls over, dragging himself up to get ready for school.
He heard Rey on the phone with her foster father a few days ago. And he saw the way her eyes light up when she speaks to his uncle, or to his mother, or to his father. He knows that look, because it's the same look he long ago learned to smother.
There's no point in wanting.
Snoke gives him what he needs. What he wants. Belonging and a future, even after all he's done.
Kylo sprays hairspray over his hair and colors in his eyeliner. After school, Rey's meeting with his uncle, Finn with his mother and Rose Tico, and Kylo with Snoke. And Hux.
Kylo's stomach sours when he finds Hux beat him to Snoke's classroom. The boy sits primly, hands folded and lips pursed. His eyes gleam in smug satisfaction. Kylo wishes he could push him out the window.
"Welcome," says Snoke.
Kylo nods.
"I presume both of you know what you'll be working on," says Snoke, reclining against his desk. "If I ever feel as if one of you is slacking off, or letting the other work harder, I won't hesitate to end our mentorship."
Kylo blinks. Is that allowed?
"But then we'd get kicked out of the competition," Hux obejcts.
"Exactly, Armitage," snaps Snoke, leaning forward, hands on his knees. "The point is, I want to see both of you working your hardest. You're both talented."
You have more talent than anyone I've ever seen, Kylo, Snoke told him only a few weeks ago, hand on his shoulder. His pulse hammers in his throat as he stares at his mentor now. Did Hux do something to impress him? Did Kylo do something to disappoint him? What? What did I do?
"I'll be along to advice," Snoke says. "But it's really all on your shoulders. You two are more than capable."
Hux slides his eyes towards Kylo. Kylo focuses on Snoke, refusing to give Hux the satisfaction of seeing him rattled.
I'm not enough. He doesn't want me anymore. The thoughts streaming through his mind are all the same thoughts he's always had, resurrected, corpses rotting and meandering through his mind, infecting it. His stomach knots. Why? Why? Why?
He tried so hard. To impress his parents. To impress his uncle. He thought he'd finally impressed someone in Snoke, and now he—now he's competing with Armitage Hux, the smug bastard whose father has given him everything?
"Hux, since we spoke when you arrived early, you are dismissed. I want your ideas emailed to me by midnight Sunday." Snoke fixed his eyes on Kylo. "You, stay."
Hux scowls, stomping out.
Kylo gulps.
"Straighten up," Snoke orders. "Don't slouch. You look like a loser when you do that, especially in your ridiculous, childish clothes."
Kylo's face burns. He obeys, stiffening his spine. It cracks.
"You only got a B on your latest quiz," Snoke informs him. "Do better next time. Don't allow Hux to surpass you."
"Why are you mentoring him?" Kylo bursts out. "If you don't think he has a lot of potential—why—why are you encouraging some sort of competition—"
Snoke's hand flies out to slap Kylo across the face. He stumbles back, gaping. It's not unheard of for Snoke to hit him, but every time he does, he wants to throw up, dump himself in acid, because Snoke is the only one who believes in him after what everyone thinks happened with his uncle.
"Don't backtalk me again," says Snoke. "It's hard for me to control myself when you do that."
Kylo swallows. He nods. His cheek stings, but he won't lift his hand to it.
"Hux does have potential," says Snoke. "To answer your question. Plenty of potential. But you are still the only one I think who has a chance of actually winning."
Relief sizzles in Kylo's stomach. He nods.
"Why don't you tell them the truth?" Snoke regarded him. "If it did happen like you say."
He swallowed, looking up at his physics teacher, the only one who didn't shun him when school began again. Mom covered up what happened, but everyone still blamed him, the teachers who knew. He saw it in their eyes, in the way they refused to look at him when they handed his tests back, in the way their positive feedback dribbled away to just letter grades and numbers.
"I'm afraid no one would believe me," he whispered. Snoke asked him to stay after class, explain everything. He listened to Ben. No one else did.
"Well," said Snoke. "I believe you. I also believe your uncle was in the right."
Ben looked up, alarmed.
"It's not wrong to want to use your talents to protect," said Snoke. "I'm sure he just saw designing weapons for that company as protection."
"It's his hypocrisy that disgusts me," Ben burst out. "He gives all these speeches—on the news—and then—he had the nerve to yell at me—"
Snoke clucked his tongue.
Kylo leaves school, bag slung over his shoulder. Rey and Finn said they were getting rides with Poe.
He drives home alone, the screaming metal music not enough to drown out the silence.
Up next: Rey and Kylo go out for sushi and Rose and Finn find out there's a lot more to what happened to Paige than they thought.