For four days Daryl stays in his hunting cabin.
He feels hollow. Everything he tries to eat, tastes like ashes. He's tired, but he can't sleep. And when he drifts away, his dreams are haunted by blue eyes and soft silver curls.
When he tries to hunt, he's too loud and too unfocused and scares away the game.
He drinks too much and has to puke...and he hates that. Too often he had to clean away the puke of his drunken dad, after he passed out somewhere on the floor.
For four days he hides.
Licking his wounds like a wounded animal.
And than he decides, to face his life. To face the people in the town. To face Beth' family. He decides, not to hide anymore.
Hell, he's a grown up man, ditched by his fiancee. This has happened to other men before. He'll survive. He survived so much more. After all, he has built a life for himself, before he even knew Beth.
Maybe everything will work out the way it is supposed to be.
The first thing, he sees, when he comes back to his shop, is the note, Carol left on the counter that says, she will pay him later. The damned car is missing. Daryl doesn't care. He could die happy without ever being paid for the work he spend on that stupid fuckin' car.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox
He easily slides back into his old life again. Again he is the socially awkward loner he was before Beth came into his life. He's quickly accustomed to the pitying glances. Some kids start to giggle, when they spot him. Maybe it is happenstance, but it makes his skin crawl.
He buries himself into work.
While he is shopping groceriers one day, he catches a glimpse of that Sophia-girl. She plays soccer with Carl, the son of the sheriff. She laughs breathlessly, and it's a good sound.
He wonders, whether her mother can laugh again, too.
He can't.
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox
Days turn into weeks, the life floods by.
Maybe he just doesn't deserve love or happiness. Maybe his father had been right all the time. Maybe he was just a worthless piece of shit.
One sunday morning, he achieves a phone call from Hershel. "Son, we miss you in church. We miss you in our lifes. I hope we will see you today. In church or at the farm after the service."
"I don't belong to your family anymore, sir", he replies.
"That's bullshit, and you know that. We want you here. We miss you. You are family, and we would be very happy, we would glad, if you could come."
Daryl hesitates. He isn't sure, whether he feels comfortable in the circle of Beth' family any more. He doesn't want their pity.
"Daryl, you know, we won't judge you. You aren't the one to blame in this shitty situation. It's all on my daughter", Hershel continues.
"But, when a relationship breaks, there are always both partners to blame", Daryl says with a flat voice.
"Maybe that's true. Maybe Beth wasn't happy with you flinching every time, she touched you. She was impatient and didn't want to wait for you to become comfortable with her touching you. But again, that isn't your fault. We would be happy, if you would join us. Think about it." With that, he ends the call, leaving Daryl clueless.
In his fridge waits a lonely TV-dinner for him.
He decides to drive to Hershel's farm, but not to go to church. He still feels kind of humilated and doesn't want to face a bunch of curious assholes. The Greene family always felt more like family to him than his own. Maybe he feels better with them. And if it doesn't work, he returns home. He'll give it a try.
His palms are sweaty by the time he arrives at the farm.
Maybe it's a mistake, maybe he should turn around an leave again. Drive back home to his lonely meal in front of the TV.
But Maggie discovers him and comes to meet him. When Daryl climbs out of his car, she surprises him with a short warm hug. "It's good to see you again, Daryl. I'm glad, you made up your mind and came. It is important to daddy, to have you here."
Daryl swallows. He's more nervous than he was when he was introduced to Hershel for the first time.
He shouldn't have been worried. Hershel is friendly as always. Same as the rest of the family. Nobody blames him. No one reproaches him. Maggie asks him if he has heard of Beth. He hasn't and none of the Greeene family hasn't as well. But that is the only time, Beth is mentioned. It isn't as if she's cut out the family, but they all need time to adapt to a life without her.
The food is delicious, ways better than the crap Daryl is used to eat. This is the first proper homemade food he has, since the the breakup. And the company is pleasant. There is laughter and warmth. Daryl feels safe and accepted.
At the time, the dessert is served another car drives on the yard.
"Oh, there are Carol and Sophia", Hershel announced and Daryl freezes like a deer in the spotlight.
"What do you mean, Carol and Sophia? You let them in?" he stammers incredulous.
"Of course, I let them in. They are not to blame. Exactly like you. They are strangers in a foreign village, surrounded by noisy people who wants to judge didn't ask for any of the crap that happened. Carol tries to find a way to make a life for herself and her daughter. They stay at Maggie's place and Carol started working for me as receptionist in the vet clinic and on the weekends she works at the diner. She tries hard to move on."
Daryl folds his napkin and puts it on the table.
"Maybe she didn't ask for any of that. But that doesn not mean, I have to share place and time with her. I'm sorry, but I have to go now. I can't stay here with her. I can't stand it, I can't stand her."
"I'm sorry, to hear that, son. You have suffered kind of the same lost. I was hoping, you two would get along well."
"I can't", Daryl says and stands up.
He leaves the room when Carol and Sophia enter it.
The smile on Carol's lips fades away by the cold look in Daryl's eyes.