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"I'm sorry, what?" Rey yelps. Kylo closes the door to the house behind him. His father came to meet them in the entryway, somber.
"Finn's okay," Dad assures. "Leia's with him now."
"Who the fuck would try to assassinate a comatose girl? It was just a car accident," Kylo says, leaning back against the wall. None of it makes any sense. Rey's eyes are wide and full of tears.
"The police are just interviewing him," Chewie says, voice low and thick like usual. "And Rose. Seems the guy got away."
Rey wraps her arms around herself. "This is like something out of a movie." Judging from her tone, Kylo presumes it's a movie she wouldn't like.
When Finn and Mom get home, Rey rushes towards him, grabbing Finn in a tight embrace. Something churns in Kylo's stomach. He shouldn't feel this way. But he does. He turns and stomps up the stairs towards his room. Now Finn probably thinks Kylo wishes he had been killed when that's not true. But who cares. There's no point in explaining himself. No one ever wants to listen.
And of course, Mom tries to drag him downstairs to all watch a movie together like they're one big happy family. They've never been a happy family. Kylo grew up listening to Mom and Dad bickering every twenty minutes.
"Ben, seriously," she says. "We—"
"I need to do work for my project," he says, focused on the screen of his laptop.
Mom flicks the light on. He scowls.
"Get downstairs or I'll take away your car keys."
"Fine." Kylo heaves himself off his bed and clumps down the stairs. Finn waves at him. Rey smiles.
Precious few people smile at him. And he always tells himself he doesn't care.
I do care.
Kylo drops to the floor next to Rey and Finn for the movie. But his mind catapults ahead, trying to form a coherent plan for his project. He can't fail. He can't fail. He can't fail. His fists tighten. His throat clenches.
The moment the movie's over he scrambles back to his room. He can already hear Snoke lecturing him on not devoting enough time to his work. Especially compared to Hux.
Snoke's the only one who believes in him. Snoke's the one who told him about his uncle.
"I'm glad to hear you'll be spending your summer doing something productive. Your talent shouldn't go to waste. You have an incredible mind, Ben. But be careful working with him," said Snoke. "I've heard rumors."
When Kylo found out it was true, it was all true, about his uncle, he panicked. He thought his life and his ambitions were dead. And then Snoke reached out to him. When no one else did. He asked Kylo what happened. He cared. He handed him a tissue when he cried.
And all he asked was that Kylo try to help him figure out what Luke Skywalker was working on, so he could expose his hypocrisy. Snoke was injured working on weapons. That's why he's so scarred.
Snoke doesn't make him feel safe, but it's the closest to safe Kylo can imagine. At the very least, he's not hiding as much with him as he is with his parents.
The next day, Snoke greets Kylo with disgust. "This is all you've come up with?"
Please don't yell. Kylo studies his scuffed Doc Martens. "I had a family situation yesterday." An emergency, really.
"Ah." Snoke leans back. Hux preens, smirking at Kylo from his desk. "I heard about Paige Tico."
"It's crazy," Kylo says. "It makes no sense."
"It is odd," Snoke agrees. "But please explain to me how that affects you."
Kylo blinks. "Huh?"
"Don't 'huh' me," says Snoke, rising behind his desk. "It should be obvious, shouldn't it? You can't let anything distract you. If you're not focused—and I mean completely focused—you'll never get anywhere in life."
Kylo gulps. "But—it was—my mom wanted us to—since Finn is—"
"I don't care," says Snoke. "Look at Hux. His father was interviewed and handed the police security tape access since the assassin was dressed like a casino employee. And yet he still came up with several—"
"I'm not Hux," Kylo says, and the moment he says it, he regrets it. He should have just kept his mouth shut.
Snoke's nonexistent brows clench together. He steps towards Kylo. "What did you just say?"
Kylo looks up at him, gulping. His heart pounds. Snoke is one of the few people he's met who is taller than him. "I—I said that I'm not Hux. My—"
Snoke backhands him across the face. Kylo stumbles back and trips, falling on his ass. Hux laughs and laughs. Kylo can only gape up at his mentor. Why?
"After all I've done for you," seethes Snoke. "You can't even get yourself to—the reason you fail, Kylo Ren, Ben Solo, whatever you want to be called now—is because of yourself. You have no foundation. You're like a house built on sand, and you collapse whenever there's a storm. Go home today. Come back tomorrow after school more prepared. Go smoke another cigarette; I can smell them on you."
Humiliation crawls through Kylo. "But—"
"Obeying me is the least you can do," says Snoke. "After all I've done for you, Kylo, you still take it all for granted. I believe in you. Don't forget that. When it comes to me or your parents, who—"
"You do," Kylo interrupts. "And I'm grateful. I am." Snoke's shown him more care than—
"Then prove it. Don't tell me, show me." Snoke turns around, facing his computer. "See you tomorrow."
Hux muffles a guffaw. Kylo clambers to his feet, flipping Hux off as he storms out. His cheek burns.
I'm scum, he thinks, leaning against the wall. Total scum. I can't do anything right.
Words that always linger in the back of his mind claw their way out of his brain, into his conscious thought. Help me. Someone, help me.
"Ben?"
His eyes snap open.
Rey stands there, mouth agape. "Your lip is bleeding."
Kylo reaches up and brushes the blood away. "Chapped."
"Your face is swollen," Rey says. "Don't think I don't know what someone looks like after they knock you around. Was it Hux? I swear I'm gonna go teach him to watch his—"
"No!" Kylo reaches out, grabbing Rey's arm as she marches towards Snoke's classroom. "Don't, Rey, it's not a big deal—it wasn't Hux—"
Rey's eyes narrow.
"How do you know what it looks like?" he blurts out, desperate to keep her from asking more questions. Don't think about it, Rey. He wouldn't put it past her to create an issue where there is none.
Rey scowls. "Unkar Plutt was an ass."
Kylo pries himself off the wall. "Your foster father?"
She nods. "He needed a punching bag. When I was younger, that was me. Then I taught myself how to fight back. Didn't take him long to realize it was more trouble than it was worth, the coward."
Kylo could punch the man himself. "I'm sorry." For all his parents' apathy, they never hit him.
"I used to lock myself in my room when he was in a particularly bad mood," Rey says, staring vacantly down the hallway. "And when his drunk-skunk friends came over. They were creepy."
Kylo nods. "I'm sorry."
She cocks her head, looking up at him. "My parents will come back. If I win this scholarship. They'll see my name—they'll remember me—they'll come back."
Kylo blinks. "They left you?" That, at least, he understands the feeling of.
Rey shrugs. "Yeah."
Kylo doubts that they're coming back. But he keeps his mouth shut for now. "How's your project going?"
Rey winces. "Not so well. Mr. Skywalker isn't happy."
"Mine's not going well either," Kylo admits.
Rey bites her lip. God, she's so pretty. Her hazel eyes sparkle despite it all, despite the horrors she's recounting. "Do you want to compare notes? Maybe I can notice something that will help you, or vice versa? It'd be good to have another pair of eyes—Mr. Skywalker isn't particularly helpful."
"That," Kylo says with a snort. "Is not a surprise to me in the least." He pauses. Snoke probably wouldn't like it. But it's not like Snoke is helping him very much. "Yeah. Why not?"
Rey nods.
"Rey?" he ventures. "Don't—tell anyone. About this." He touches his face.
Rey's jaw drops. "Why not?"
"You of all people should understand," Kylo says, heart thumping. "No one cares. It's the way it is—adults don't care about kids like us. Please, Rey."
"Your parents—"
"You don't know them," Kylo interrupts. "Not like you think you do. Please trust me."
Rey bites her lips. She sighs and nods. "But if he knocks you around again, I'll slash his tires." She frowns. "Hey, can't you fight back? Do you want me to teach you some self-defense moves?"
I don't deserve to fight back. "It's not that bad. It's not necessary," Kylo says. Although… the idea of sparring with Rey… "But sure. If you want to. Why not."
A bark sounds outside the door. Finn swings it open.
"Yo," says Poe. Rose stands behind him. "My mom told me when I got home today. The fuck were you thinking not telling me? It happened yesterday, Finn."
Beebee-Ate lunges at Finn, who snorts and pats the animal. "I had other things on my mind."
"Pfft, like almost dying? Why would that be important?" Poe winks at him.
I didn't think anyone would really care. It's strange to Finn, to have people so worried over him. Leia came running to the police station yesterday, and she didn't seem angry like he'd thought. He turns to Rose. "How're your parents doing?"
Rose blows out her breath, stepping inside. Han and Chewie are in the garage, as per normal. Leia's in her office, and Rey reads on the couch in the living room. She lifts her hand, waving at them.
"They've been better. And the thing is, no one can understand why," Rose says. "Poe and Jess and Snap and Connix were all there too, when she was hit. It's not like she saw anything dangerous or—"
"It does seem ridiculous," Rey says, closing her book.
Finn nods. Beebee-Ate scampers over to Rey, panting. She rubs the dog's neck.
"I heard it was someone from the casino. Or at least they were dressed like that," says Kylo's voice.
Finn turns, surprised. Goth Wannabe stands in the corner, arms crossed.
"What?" Rose demands. Her eyes flash. Uh-oh. Finn gulps. Rose had better not be—
"Are you for real?" Poe asks, flopping onto the couch. "How would you know that, Kyle Ron?"
Kylo looks as if he regrets opening his mouth and would prefer to deck Poe across the mouth than answer. But Rey meets his eyes, gaze concerned. Finn frowns. "I heard Snoke saying Hux's father had to hand over security footage. But I have no idea if they found something."
Rose and Poe exchange a look.
"You're idiots," Kylo informs them. "You'll never pass for twenty-one."
"Watch me," Rose retorts.
"Wait, what?" Finn demands. "You're not, Rose. You're not planning to—what do you even stand to gain from this?"
"I have to do something," Rose insists. She looks around the living room, past the flat-screen TV and the books and thick armchairs. "I have to. She's my sister. I can't just sit here and leave it to the police; they never found whoever hit her. Why would they find this guy?" Her chest heaves.
"What are you going to do?' Kylo demands. "Walk up to every employee and ask whether they tried to kill your sister?"
"I didn't ask you," Rose snarls. "I—" She swallows. "I got a glimpse of him, from the back, as he left. I have to try. They've posted a guard outside Paige's room but—"
"Weren't you the one obsessed with not letting people like me do stupid things like sneak out of school?" Finn asks. "I think sneaking into a casino looking for an assassin is, while it sounds like James Bond level cool, really a step or a mile above on the stupidity scale!"
"I don't," says Poe. "I can help. I can get fake IDs. Quickly."
"I don't even want to know," Rose mumbles. "This—Finn, this would have a purpose beyond just sneaking out for fun. This is to save my sister."
"You can't," Finn tells her, his abdomen clenching. He hates himself for the words that pour from his mouth. "You can't save her, Rose. It's not up to you."
Tears glitter in her eyes. "Well, I have to do something. I can't just sit here and wait around for—"
No. Finn can't even imagine how Rose can think of doing this. "Isn't that what you're already doing? Waiting to see if she'll wake up?"
Rose flinches. Finn curses himself. Tears fill her eyes.
"I'd help," Rey says quietly.
You want to do this because you love your sister, Finn knows. He closes his eyes.
"No way," says Kylo.
"You weren't invited," Poe snips.
Finn glares at Poe. You should know better. But of course, Poe doesn't. Because he probably wants to atone. They're all like puppets dragged around by guilt, dancing on strings. "If you're going," he says, gulping. "I'll go with you." He's not letting Rey or Rose go into that den alone.
"All right," says Poe. "I'll get the clothes. Finn, you and I look like we're around the same size, so it won't be an issue. Rey, Rose, you got something to wear?"
They both nodded.
"If you're not back by midnight," says Kylo. "I'm going to actually be responsible for once and tell on you, okay?"
Rey looks at him, surprise on her face. She nods.
"Punch Hux for me," he adds.
Two hours later, Finn's dressed in a dark shirt and leather jacket, Poe's jacket. "Keep it," Poe tells him, eyes running up and down. "It suits you."
Rey appears, dressed in a nice sweater and jeans, her hair partially down instead of in its normal three-bun style. Kylo appears on the stairway. His eyebrows rise when he sees her. She smiles. "I borrowed some of your mother's lipstick—do you think she'll mind?"
Kylo shakes his head.
Rose appears from the stairs leading to Rey's room, dressed in a gorgeous red dress, her onyx hair glossy. Finn's stomach drops. "Wow." He clears his throat. "You look—pretty. Both of you."
"Not too bad yourself," Rose teases, poking him in the shoulder.
Kylo just watches, silent. "Are you sure you don't want to come?" Rey asks.
He shakes his head. "Text me."
"Okay," Rey promises.
"I can't believe you're being nice to him," says Poe. "It's almost like he's tolerable when he's around you."
"He is nice," Rey says. "There's more to him than you'd think."
"Hey kids," Han says as he and Chewie entire the house. "Going on a double date?"
Poe grimaces. A door slams upstairs.
"Kind of," Rose chirps, grabbing Rey's hand. "Bye!"
Finn hopes Leia and Han won't be angry enough to kick them out if they get caught. Poe leaves Beebee-Ate at his own house with his parents, and then they pile into his car and drive off.
Finn grips his knees. The pants are made of some soft material he's not familiar with. And he's scared the fear raw and bleeding. Home are always conditional. He doesn't want to fuck this up.
But Rose, and Rey both—they want to do this. And Rose might be a hypocrite a bit, or maybe she's just growing, but Paige is her sister. He'd do it for Rey.
"Did you really have fake IDs made so quickly?" Rey asks, leaning forward from the backseat.
Finn slides his eyes towards her. So this is something you're not unfamiliar with? He wouldn't even know where to start for that kind of thing.
"No," says Poe. "They'll be ready in another week. But I'm getting you in because I have mine. Wait around back."
This is such a bad idea. Finn scrunches down in his seat.
They park, and Rose leads them towards the back exit while Poe heads around front. Rose taps her foot. She's still in flats despite her dress. Rey texts Kylo.
"Who are we even looking for?" Finn whispers. His teeth chatter. Rey shivers. Rose just glares at that door, determined.
"He had dark hair," says Rose.
"That much I remember too," Finn says sarcastically.
"He had a rose pin on his lapel," says Rose.
"I'm sure the police would have found him, then," Finn says. "Unless they're all wearing rose pins, in which case—"
"They aren't," Rose interrupts. "At least, that's not part of their uniform. My dad used to work there for a time. We're not exactly on the Solo-Organa or Dameron level of class." She grits her teeth. "They're part of the uniform specifically for blackjack dealers. I'm sure the cops have figured that out, but—if we can talk to a few people I might remember from when my dad worked there, I—"
"Okay," Rey says, glancing around them.
"Paige has always been my hero. I just want to—be hers for once."
Finn swallows. The door swings open. Rose yelps.
Poe sticks his head out, wiggling his eyebrows. "Ready, losers?"
"How should we do this?" Rey asks.
"You and Poe be on the lookout for security," Rose directs. She grabs Finn's arm. "Finn and I will talk to people—look for him."
The casino is bright and crowded, people chattering, chandeliers sparling, and drinks flowing. The smell of alcohol permeates the air. Finn takes a deep breath, holding onto Rose as if they're a couple. Colorful slots whir around them. They head over to the blackjack tables.
"Never played in my life," Finn whispers.
"Neither have I," Rose admits. "That's okay. We won't need to." Her eyes scour the faces of the dealers.
Rose suddenly freezes, Finn follows her gaze.
A man with dark hair and a grizzled chin, a rose lapel, studies them. He says something to the woman next to him and strides in their direction.