Chapter 16: New beginnings

"Aah!" Ichigo's eyes flew open on a shout. Cold sweat had formed on his brow and he was gasping from the nightmare he'd just woke up from. Panting, he found himself laying down on a futon and swiftly noticed a few things. One, he was still alive! Two, the ceiling was totally unfamiliar. Three, he had no idea where he was or what had happened.

"Ichigooo!" The unmistakable singing voice of his father.

"Oh right… I died and went to hell." The Substitute grumbled, while rubbing his eyes. Before he even had the chance to try and sit up or to take in his surroundings, he was pulled into a fierce hug by his father. "Dad!" He shouted as the over-enthusiastic man smothered him.

"I was so worried, son! You were out cold for quite some time, but thanks to your pretty girlfriend and her healing power, you're as good as new."

"Inoue is not my girlfriend, dad. Though she is pretty, indeed." He said with a faint grin. His father laughed out loud and patted him on the back before he broke off their hug. It felt good to be able to laugh for a change.

Ichigo heard the familiar voice of Orihime gasp and turned around to see her face become bright red. She was still healing Uryu, who lay down on another futon not that far from his, with a blanket covering him. Ichigo's cheeks turned crimson, as he wouldn't have said that if he'd known Orihime was there, which made the girl chuckle. His father only added to his shame by saying:

"Oh, but she could be. If you'd put a little more effort into it."

"Just stop it already, dad. You're embarrassing me!" He wanted to get up and walk over to where Uryu lay. Sado was sitting next to the Quincy and didn't even try to hide his laughter.

"Woah!" His father said, pushing Ichigo back down. "I know that pretty girl healed you, but since you were unconscious for a while, you'd better rest some more."

Sighing, Ichigo conceded. His father was a doctor and he was probably right. Uryu was unconscious anyway, and he was in good hands. He couldn't believe they'd been freed of the clutches of that perverted Espada at last! During his sleep, his thoughts had calmed down a bit, for which he was grateful, but he knew he had to come to terms with the outcome of everything that had happened and everything he had witnessed, sooner or later.

"Are we at Urahara's?" The Substitute asked. The room seemed to fit in with the other Japanese styled rooms the former captain of the 12th division possessed.

"Yes," answered Sado, "your father brought you here through the Garganta, and it was necessary to tend to your wounds first. As Orihime was already healing Ishida here, we set you up to rest here as well."

Ichigo nodded. "How is Uryu?"

The girl sighed. "He really had some bad injuries." She said, her voice laced with worry. "I'm glad we found you or… Ishida-kun would've…" She trailed off, biting her lip. Ichigo closed his eyes tightly and swallowed Yeah, he was still trying to forget about that part.

"He'll be fine, Ichigo." His father, who was looking down at his face, stated. "Your friend is healing him, but it'll take some more time. Just rest for a while longer. I'll go get you something to eat." With that Isshin exited the room and Ichigo was left stumped that he hadn't been hugged again.

"Where are Rukia and Renji?" He asked the others.

"They are taking that Espada back to Soul Society," answered Sado in his usual calm tone, "but they said they'd come back to check on you." Ichigo nodded again.

"Rukia was very worried about you, Kurosaki-kun. We didn't expect you to come back to us in tatters after we left you with Renji." Orihime stifled a sob.

"Sorry." The Substitute said. "But I really needed to fight that stupid Szayelaporro." He lifted one of his arms and draped it over his eyes.

Suddenly, Uryu moaned. Ichigo propped himself up on an elbow to take a look. The Quincy started moving his head and clenched his eyes.

"I think he's coming around." Sado said.

"Thank goodness." Orihime added to that.

With a whimper, the Quincy slowly opened his eyes and blinked a few times, still moving his head from left to right. Suddenly, his eyes shot wide open and darted around the room before he jolted upright and took a quivering breath.

"Stay down!" Sado stated in his low voice and pushed Uryu's shoulders back down, making him shriek in protest. "We aren't finished yet." Ichigo knew Sado hadn't meant that in a bad way, but that message had come across much too firm…

Uryu froze. Ichigo saw his face contort into panic, jaw clenching and his hands clutching the foreign blanket draped over his body. As he started making those too familiar distressed, little sounds, Ichigo knew he had to do something.

Uryu didn't wear his glasses and the room was poorly lit, so Ichigo knew he couldn't see all that much. The Quincy didn't know where he was nor with who. He had no idea they'd been rescued, even. For all Uryu knew, he was partaking in another freak experiment of Szayelaporro again. The bright light of Orihime's power maybe made him think he was having another surgery and that thought would terrify him to say the least.

Suddenly, Uryu tried to sit upright again. Sado groaned in annoyance and tried to push him back down, saying:

"Ishida, lay down. She's still healing you."

Uryu struggled with Sado before he released a stuttered scream, completely losing it. He was panting and started to fight off his 'attacker' while making highly destressed noises. It all went so fast, Ichigo hadn't willed his legs into action yet and had wasted a few seconds too many sitting there gaping helplessly at the extent of the other boy's trauma…

As Sado'd managed to push the Quincy back down into the healing light and grabbed his wrists into one of his large hands, Uryu's body went completely rigid. His pupils dilated and he started taking erratic breaths.

"Chad, don't! Let go of him!" The Substitute yelled as his brain finally turned functional again. "Shit…" He cursed as he quickly jumped to his legs, but swayed as the sudden movement was clearly not appreciated by his body. Grunting, he steadied himself on the wall, before he proceeded. Slowly, this time.

Sado had released Uryu's wrists as Ichigo had asked, but the damage had already been done. Uryu was completely distraught, stress and fear pushing him towards a panic attack, while he tried to scream with his yet unhealed vocal chords.

"I'm sorry! I didn't know he'd freak out like this."

"We know, Sado-kun." Answered Orihime, still focusing on her healing spell. "You just wanted to help."

"Fuck!" Shouted Ichigo as his legs didn't move as fast as he'd hoped. "Let me talk to him. I can help." Ichigo saw Uryu's eyes dart around for the source of his voice.

"It's alright, Ishida-kun." Orihime tried, but the Quincy remained petrified and made distressed sounds. After all, if Ichigo could turn on him, why couldn't the others? If the other boy even realized who those voices belonged to in his current state.

"Slow down, you. Don't be rash." Sado said as Ichigo had almost made it towards their end of the room. He was annoyed at Sado for his inconsiderate actions, but he knew the others weren't aware of what had happened to them. Nor were they expecting to find Uryu in such a fragile mental state…

"Go easy on him." Ichigo told the others. "He's been through a lot and he has no idea where he is." As he approached, Uryu clenched his jaws even more and made a panicked sound. He was on the verge of tears... Ichigo took it as another stab in his heart. To witness the Quincy in this state… it just hurt him so much. Swallowing hard, he pushed the thoughts about Uryu's sufferings that came with that notion back down. This was not the time nor the place. And it certainly wouldn't help Uryu if he fell apart right now.

"Kanae…" Spoke the Substitute softly, as he slowly sat down beside him. "It's me, Uryu. It's Ichigo." That made the Quincy gasp, but the dread on his face didn't subside.

Uryu was afraid. Of course he was… The last time they saw each other, he'd been dying, so that must've left him very disoriented and scared to say the least. After the assault he'd witnessed of himself in that disgusting Hollow form… who could blame him. And now, the Quincy was being shoved down and detained again. Of course he'd lose it…

Tentatively, the Substitute reached for one of the other boy's hands that was fervently curling in the blanket on top of him. The Quincy's frightened eyes darted around and his breathing had picked up even more. As he tried to focus on Ichigo, he was still making panicked sounds, even though their safe word had been spoken. When Ichigo's hand touched Uryu's, the other boy quickly withdrew his, but Ichigo wouldn't allow him. He took the hand in both of his own, before softly lacing their fingers together. Uryu gasped again, as it was a soothing gesture Ichigo had come to use to encourage him during the last part of their captivity.

"It's alright, Uryu. It's me, Ichigo." He repeated and softly cupped one of his cheeks with his free hand, biting back a flash of guilt as he felt him tremble under his touch. "We're not going to hurt you. Chad didn't want to push you down, but… he didn't know." He tried to explain. The other boy was still looking at him with gleaming eyes. "Kanae…" He whispered again. The Substitute smiled as he very slowly saw recognition dawn upon the Quincy's face.

"I-Ichi… go?" Uryu said with a raspy voice, his body still rigid.

"Yes, it's really me. We're still alive." Ichigo gave him a warm smile and couldn't hold back the urge to softly caress the other boy's cheek. "Our friends found us, and saved us from that hellhole. We're safe!" He saw Uryu's eyes open wide at that.

"S-safe?"

"Yes, you're safe now, Uryu. No more Espada's. We're home."

At that the Quincy made a fist in the blanket with the hand that wasn't laced to Ichigo's and the latter saw how relief started shooting through his body. Uryu's face crumbled and tears started spilling from his eyes. He tried to say something, but the words got caught up in his throat. And as soft sobs started rocking his body, Ichigo just acted on instinct and pulled him in for a hug. Uryu clung to him desperately, his body becoming compliant while burying his face in the crook of the Substitute's shoulder. The sheer force of his sobs stirred his lean frame.

Ichigo bit back his own tears as he knew the other boy had thought never to see this day…

He heard Sado and Orihime make astonished sounds at their emotional display, but at the moment, he couldn't care less. That boy had gone through hell, for a great part because of him, and right now he just did what his heart told him to. He wasn't concerned with their judgement. He'd hold him for as long as he needed to.

"H-home…" Whispered the Quincy, smiling through the tears.

"Yes." Ichigo confirmed softly. "That freak Espada can't hurt us anymore. I've made sure of that." He felt Uryu wrap his arms around his neck as his grief was slowly becoming less intense. Ichigo's heart picked up its pace and he felt a need rise to softly kiss the other boy, like they had done a few times in their cell to express what they couldn't say in words. As an emotional discharge of this magnitude felt like it was appropriate right now. That thought made his cheeks flare up, as that was something private. He didn't want to embarrass either of them in front of their friends right now.

Ichigo didn't understand the situation himself. He knew for certain now that the Quincy loved him, but… He had yet to figure out his own heart's desires. Even though he was still definitely interested in girls, Uryu had become special to him. But before doing something he'd regret later, he wanted to think everything through after they'd recovered.

Suddenly, Isshin burst into the room, holding a tray with soup and 2 glasses of water, and accompanied by Urahara Kisuke, who's hospitality they were currently enjoying. Junta and Ururu were standing a little behind them, eager to find out what was going on, it seemed.

"What's all the ruckus in here? I thought I told you to- Oooh, Ichigooo!" Quick as a fox, he dumped the platter into Ururu's little hands, earning a startled shriek from the little girl, before jumping forward towards his son, shouting: "Group hug!"

Ichigo's fist moved of his own accord, immediately locking onto his target and smacking Isshin right in the face. Uryu made a startled sound at the sudden intrusion of warm arms.

"Dad, please!" Ichigo said, exasperated. "This is not the time!"

Isshin whined while everybody but Uryu and Ichigo chuckled. Uryu's face had gotten a dash of color out of embarrassment, and he quickly tried to dry his tears, while Ichigo broke the hug, but didn't move from his side.

"Just let them be, Isshin." Spoke Urahara, clearly amused. "They both need to recover, still." He gestured for Ururu to place the tray onto a small table and poked Junta to make him stop laughing before the man addressed Ichigo. "Kurosaki-san, and you too, Ishida-san, you're welcome to stay here for as long as you need to."

"Thanks, Urahara-san." Ichigo bowed and smiled when he saw Uryu mirror him.

"Owww." Whined Isshin. "But I wanted a hug, too!"

"Dad!" That made Orihime and Sado chuckle again.

"Fine! But you still want to come home to see your sisters, right?"

"Of course I will, you old goat! But you said we had to take some rest."

The smile he wore on his face swiftly went away as he saw the look on Uryu's face. He'd averted his gaze down and was fidgeting with one of the sleeves of Ichigo's Kosode he still wore. The Substitute understood. Uryu lived all alone, and that prospect wasn't very motivating, especially not now.

"Come on, Isshin. Let the girl finish her healing spell. Ishida-san is still injured as it seems." Said Urahara, while pushing Ichigo's father out of the room. "You too, I'm afraid. It's way past your bedtime already."

"Oww, come on, old man." Junta said in annoyance. "Do you really have to embarrass us like that in front of all these people."

"Jinta-kun. Come." Ururu said bashfully, before grabbing his wrist and dragging him out of the room with her.

"What a load of goofballs…" Muttered Ichigo, though he had missed his father's energetic behavior. Looking at Uryu again, he didn't miss his weary eyes and his breathing. "Now, you really need to rest some more, Uryu. Inoue is still healing your wounds."

Softly, Ichigo guided the Quincy to lay back down while the latter swiftly wiped the last of his tears away. Now Uryu knew the light was actually healing him, Ichigo watched as he tried to focus on Orihime's face.

"I-Inoue… san…" Uryu smiled.

"I've missed you, Ishida-kun." She sobbed, and rubbed her eyes with her left wrist, trying to stop crying. "I'm sorry, but… that hug… that was just… so emotional and…" She trailed off on another sob.

"It's okay, Inoue. We understand." Ichigo answered. He was moved as well. "Chad is here, too. He carried you out of there while I fought Szayelaporro."

Uryu nodded. "S-Sado… kun."

"Hey, Ishida. Welcome back." The large teen answered, gently squeezing the archer's shoulder in reassurance. "Sorry for upsetting you earlier."

"Now, you just go back to sleep. You are safe here, I promise." Ichigo covered Uryu with the blanket, before taking hold of his hand once more. "I'll stay with you until you drift off." He offered a soft smile and was glad to see Uryu return the favor. Ichigo went to lay down on his side next to Uryu, like they did in their cell. It didn't take long for the worn out Quincy to succumb to the darkness once more.

"He's asleep." Orihime said. "I'll make him better, Kurosaki-kun. You get some rest, too."

Ichigo wasn't really paying attention to her anymore and just hummed in agreement. The soft rise and fall of the Quincy's chest were soothing to look at and strangely hypnotic. Grateful that his friends hadn't bombarded them with questions about what happened, Ichigo gave in to the needs of his body.

"We'll watch over him, Ichigo." Sado offered. That being said, Ichigo felt someone drape a blanket over him, too. He muttered a word of thanks and kept his eyes on Uryu until he was fast asleep.

Ichigo awoke to the sound of voices. He yawned and blinked a few times, rubbing the moisture from his eyes. His gaze fell on the Quincy, who was still sleeping besides him. It didn't come as a surprise that they'd moved closer together to share their warmth, as they did that so many times while still in Szayelaporro's prison. Ichigo softly wiped Uryu's plastered hair from his face, and gently tried to free his hand from the other's grasp.

Orihime and Sado were gone, which indicated Uryu had now been fully healed. That thought made him happy, as the fear he'd felt when the boy lay dying in his arms had been truly devastating. Leaving them in Urahara's care, Sado was probably walking the girl home, as she too, must be tired from her efforts. Ichigo promptly sat up.

"I simply don't know." He heard Urahara say from the adjacent room.

"This makes no sense at all." He recognized the stern voice of Uryu's father. "Of course, I've always been opposed to him being a Quincy, but this is quite an unexpected turn of events."

"I'll say!" He heard his own father say. "I don't know what I'd do if Ichigo woke up like that."

What were they talking about? Ichigo stood up and walked towards the sliding door where it would be easier to eavesdrop.

"I do hope it's temporary, as I can imagine Ishida-san-"

"No." Ryuuken intervened, "This would be an opportunity for him to focus completely on his studies. He doesn't have any talent nor potential as a Quincy and the chance of getting injured again if he'd regain his powers is high."

What was going on? Ichigo barged into the room, anxiety already shooting through his body.

"What do you mean, 'if he'd regain his powers'?"

The three men in the room looked at him with various sounds. From Urahara's surprised gasp, to his father disappointed grunt, to Ryuuken's angry scoff. Realizing this was something serious, he quickly closed the door behind him in the hopes the still sleeping Quincy wouldn't wake up to this.

"Is there something wrong with Uryu?" He asked. The others looked at each other, before Urahara partly hid his face beneath the brim of his hat and said:

"I'm afraid we can't sense any spiritual pressure in him anymore, Kurosaki-san. Can't you feel it?"

The Substitute's mouth fell open on a sharp intake of breath.

"I haven't tried to…" He trailed off and focused on Uryu's spirit. The latter had always told him he sucked at this, but… He couldn't contain his startled gasp when he couldn't feel anything. Not even a tiny sliver. Uryu's spiritual pressure had completely vanished. "W-what does that mean?" Ichigo didn't like this one bit and felt his heartbeat speed up.

"It means," sneered Uryu's father, "that he doesn't have his powers anymore."

Ichigo felt his heart drop. After everything the other boy had lived through, to have his powers taken away from him was just… too horrible.

"But it's temporary, right?" Ichigo marched into the middle of their cozy gathering, not minding where he set his feet and clumsily knocked over a fancy tea cup that was left to crust next to a floor cushion. "He'll get his powers back once he's fully recovered, right?" He asked hopefully.

Urahara sighed. "I don't know, Kurosaki-san. To tell you the truth, I have never witnessed a condition like this before."

"But-"

"It's better for him, anyway." Ryuuken addressed all of them. "I don't want him to get involved with Shinigami's anymore. He disobeyed me that day he left for Hueco Mundo, and see what it has brought him. Trying to keep up with you, to prove his lineage as a Quincy is not only an embarrassment to himself, but to his family as well."

"Hey! Cut him some slack, man!" Ichigo yelled, making tight fists as anger shot through his body. "Stop talking about him like he's a total moron! He's been so brave in that hell. You have no idea-"

"Spare me the details." Sneered Ryuuken. "As if he'd be capable of doing something that would make me proud."

"Why, you-" He wanted to give Uryu's father a piece of his mind, but suddenly felt a hand on his shoulder. His father looked at him with stern eyes and shook his head. What was he going to do anyway? Knock Uryu's father into the wall? His dad would surely intervene.

"I know how frustrating it must be to hear this, son, but we really have no idea of what is causing this. His powers are just… gone."

"No!" Shouted Ichigo, starting to feel the emotions go to his head. "It just can't be! He can't just wake up without his powers. There's gotta be a solution!" He grabbed his father by his Shihakusho. "There's gotta be! This is just… too cruel." His voice broke and he felt his head spin. He knew Uryu would be devastated by this. The Quincy had already suffered so much… it made the Substitute's chest constrict.

Isshin looked away, so Ichigo looked at Urahara with pleading eyes.

"I'm sorry, Kurosaki-san. I don't know what's ailing him, but I'll look into it. Maybe-"

"No." Ryuuken cut in. "It's better this way. My son will simply have to resign himself to his fate." With that he stood up and smoothed out the crinkles of his fancy suit. "Now, If you'll excuse me, I have more pressing matters to attend to."

Ichigo couldn't believe this guy! "More pressing than your son's health?"

"I came by to bring him a change of clothes and his spare glasses." The Quincy answered while tapping his specs into place. "I've done my part."

Ichigo scoffed angrily at that and wanted to grab the white-haired man by the collar and shove him into the wall, but he was held back by Isshin. Without another word Ryuuken pivoted on his heals and started leaving the room.

"You aren't even gonna see him, aren't you?" Ichigo asked, fuming. After a brief silence, Uryu's father turned around, looked at him in contempt and said:

"He's alive, isn't he. Our goal was to get you two out of that place. We did. Or do you expect me to go hug and kiss him? I'm sure he's had his fill of that."

Ichigo felt that stab and wanted to jump the man. Growling, he marched up to Ryuuken and wanted to bawl him out. Uryu had told him his relationship with his father was strained, that the man hated him even, but still… he'd expected that comment to be somewhat exaggerated. It wasn't, apparently.

"Ichigo!" His father intervened harshly. "That's enough!"

"But, dad!" He started, before Isshin pushed him back. Ichigo growled in frustration and shot Ryuuken down with his eyes. The man scoffed before returning the favor. Then he bowed to Urahara and said:

"When he wakes up, just send him home. He's used to taking care of himself. This time will be no exception."

Ichigo exploded. "Goddamit! After everything he went through, you're just gonna leave him?"

"Hold that insolent tongue, boy!" Shouted Ryuuken, momentarily breaking free of his ever calm composure. "I'll talk with him after all of this blows over. And I don't have to justify myself to a child like yourself, I might add."

Ichigo growled again, but his father shook his head and the elder Quincy left.

"Ryuuken is a complex man, Ichigo." Ishhin said in a soothing tone, while gripping his shoulders. "I'm sure he cares for his son, just like any parent, even if he has a weird way of expressing it sometimes."

"Yeah, right." Muttered Ichigo, still angry. "Do you have any idea how hard this will be on Uryu? Losing his powers like that?"

"We know, Ichigo." Anwsered Isshin, and Urahara nodded. "But there is nothing we can do."

"I will look into this matter, Kurosaki-san. But for now, I suggest Ishida-san needs all the rest he can get. And I'm sure having around a friend like yourself would be beneficial to him right now."

Ichigo sighed as thoughts off everything that had happened in that vile place started flooding his mind again. What were they supposed to do now? Now they were back in normal life?

Uryu didn't know he'd seen the extent of his torture. Uryu didn't know that Espada bastard had shown him those movies he tried to keep hidden from him, and… at the moment he was not going to bring that up. The Quincy had sacrificed too much to spare him that. He just didn't have the heart to tell him it had all been for nothing.

Someone was calling his name and that brought him back from his thoughts.

"Ichigo, it's time for me to go home. Your sisters need me." The Substitute looked at the window behind Urahara and saw the night had fallen a while ago. His perception of day and night was still messed up, but that'll be alright once he got used to a normal rhythm again. He was sure it'd be the same for the Quincy.

"Yeah, I'm sure Yuzu is waiting for you with dinner. You should go."

"You're not coming with me, aren't you?" Isshin gave him a knowing look and squeezed his shoulder again.

"No, I… I don't think Uryu should be left alone right now. So many things have happened and…" He trailed off. His father didn't know, and he wasn't about to broach that subject with the eccentric shopkeeper either. "Just tell Kon to keep my body safe for a little longer. Karin and Yuzu will see the real me soon enough."

"Yeah…" His father said.

Urahara gave them a mysterious smile, half hidden behind his fan.

"Well, you and Ishida-san are welcome to spend the night. As I had already mentioned."

"Thanks, Urahara-san." He bowed towards the man. "Tomorrow, I'm sure Uryu'll want to go to his appartement, as I know he'll say he doesn't want to be a bother to anyone, but for tonight, I'll take you up on that offer."

"It'll be my pleasure." Urahara smiled. "Go get some more rest, Kurosaki-san. I'll bring you some late dinner, as you didn't have anything yet. The soup we made you before had turned cold long before you awoke this evening."

"That would be great. I'm sure Uryu would appreciate anything but plain rice or bread." At the man's questioning look he added: "That's the only thing we got for weeks, so…"

"Right. I'm sure I can come up with something better." Urahara gave Ichigo a warm smile. The Substitute wanted to mimic him, but his father chose that moment to whine:

"Oww, Ichigo, it'll be a lonely way back home without you." And the man stifled a sob before jumping him for another hug. "But I know you want to be a good friend to Ishida-kun right now." Ichigo smiled softly.

"I'll be home in a little while, dad. You know I will." He hugged his father back for a moment, before deciding it was time to go check on Uryu again. "Go home to Karin and Yuzu, dad. I'll be fine."

With that, Ichigo left the 2 men to wrap up their business and reentered the room that he and Uryu had been granted as a place to stay. He found the other teen still fast asleep and sat down next to him. As he couldn't help himself and gently wiped the Quincy's plastered hair out of his face, the other boy whimpered while his eyelids started moving, but he didn't wake up.

Maybe he was having a nightmare? After everything that happened to him, it wouldn't be a surprise. As Uryu started making incoherent words and sweat appeared on his brow, Ichigo reacted. He clasped one of his hands, while wiping Uryu's brow and started whispering soothing words to him. Just like he'd done in their cell.

All kinds of thoughts were stirring in his mind, but the most poignant one was that he had hurt Uryu horribly. His mind wandered back to those bone chilling movies that freak Espada had shown him and immediately a lump started to form in his throat. How on earth could Uryu have taken all of that abuse without telling him anything? Why had he so desperately tried to protect him from that hard truth?

Ichigo sighed. He knew the answer to that one now. Love. Uryu loved him.

He'd never in his wildest dreams imagined something like that could happen. And frankly, his brain still hadn't completely processed something shocking like this. Uryu and he had always been bickering so much and called each other names. He'd called the Quincy a coward so many times… How he wished he could take all of that back...

How were they going to cope with all of this, now they were back to the real world? They'd have to go to school, do homework, take tests, fight Hollows. Ichigo sucked in a sharp breath. Ah yes, that latter part of their lives would be without the Quincy from now on. At least, until somebody found a solution. If there even was a solution…

Ichgo felt his chest constrict in despair. Not only had their pitiful sabbatical in Szayelaporro's clutches left the both of them forever changed, it had robbed a person he cared a great deal for of his powers. What was he going to say to him? He couldn't do anything to help him. If Uryu even wanted to be around him after what he did. Thinking back to those horrendous movies where he saw himself violently assault and rape the other boy made him swallow hard. He stifled back a sob, but a few warm tears broke free and dripped onto Uryu's face.

"I'm sorry, Uryu…" He whispered. He could repeat it over and over, but the damage he did to that Quincy who's only sin was to fall in love with him, could never be undone.

All because Szayelaporro had to have his entertainment… All because that freaking Espada found it funny to use Uryu in such a way because of the way he felt… Ichigo sighed.

His melancholic thoughts were abruptly cut short as Urahara entered the room with a hot meal which he put on the low table. Ichigo quickly wiped his eyes.

"Ishida-san won't be waking anytime soon, I'm afraid." The shopkeeper said.

"What do you mean?" Asked Ichigo, concerned.

"Well, as his father deemed the extent of his injuries too great, he's injected him with something so he'd sleep for a while. He said it'd help him recover. Inoue-san has healed him, but his body had been at its limit. He must've been so exhausted."

"But…"

Urahara must've seen the worried look on his face and gave him a soft, but cheerful look. "He'll be alright, Kurosaki-san. Just let him get some rest. Tomorrow you can talk." Sighing, Ichigo agreed. "Besides, you have to taste my cooking!" With that, he pushed Ichigo towards the low table and made him sit down.

The Substitute couldn't believe his eyes as a big plate filled with salmon teriyaki, steamed vegetables, katsu-curry and rice greeted him. The smell alone made him drool, as he hadn't tasted anything for days. The last time he ate had been right before he'd transformed into that vicious creature and he'd thrown up after that. As he seemed a bit hesitant to dig in, Urahara smiled and said:

"Owww, come on, I can serve one of my favorite customers a nice, hearty meal, can I?" Ichigo smiled in return and thanked the man before tasting his food. It was delicious! But after weeks spent in that dump, he would've eaten anything. "As you probably will be awake for a while after this, I'll tell your friends they can come and see you."

Timidly filling a bowl for himself, Ichigo asked:

"You mean Rukia and Renji?"

"Indeed." Nodded the mysterious shop-keeper. He started waving his fan and proceeded: "I'm guessing they'll drop by any minute now. You know Kuchiki-san, she won't let it go until she can see you're alright with her own eyes."

Ichigo smiled. "Yeah, that sounds just about right."

"Well, then, enjoy your peace and quiet while you still can, Kurosaki-san. I'll go make a fresh pot of tea." With that, Urahara stood up from the floor again and started walking towards the door. "Please, eat all you want. I'll be sure to make your friend a hearty breakfast when he wakes up. I'm sure he's in need of food, too."

"Thanks." Ichigo said around a mouthful of salmon. "I would appreciate that." They bowed to each other and the Substitute concentrated on his meal while the other man stepped outside.

"Ichigo!" A female voice yelled. "Dammit, Renji, I've waited long enough!"

The Substitute awoke from the ruckus and started rubbing his eyes. Yawning, he stretched his arms out above his head. He was not used to sleeping on a futon, and it hadn't done any wonders for his back, it seemed.

"Rukia, just calm down." Renji tried to reason with her from behind the door. "Ichigo is probably still sleeping."

There was silence for a moment and Ichigo took that time to look around. He'd fallen asleep next to Uryu again, as the boy had been plagued by several nightmares during the night. The only comfort he could offer him was by watching over him. He had no idea when he'd dozed off, but it had to be somewhere in the middle of the night. Judging by the light streaming into the room he'd say it was somewhere around mid-morning right now.

Uryu was gone. Urahara was probably stuffing him with that breakfast he'd promised.

"Don't tell me to calm down when I've been worried sick for weeks!"

"Yeah, I know, I know. But we got him back, didn't we?" Renji tried to appease her. "I'm just saying, cut the guy some slack, will you. He's been through a lot."

"Can't you understand, you stupid pineapple-"

Whoa! The things Rukia could say when she was agitated! He knew he should have let them know he was awake several moments before those two got into an argument like this, but he couldn't help himself. Hearing those 2 wanna-be lovebirds quarrel like that, just like old times, just made him smile.

He couldn't hold back a chuckle at the girl's latest name-calling and immediately realized he was in for it when there was a brief silence again.

"You heard that, too, didn't you?" Renji's voice asked.

No answer followed, but Ichigo was mentally bracing himself. The door was shoved open and Rukia dashed inside, jumping on top of him, before straddling him and shaking him wildly.

"Ichigo, you idiot! I was so worried about you! Why don't you let us in when you're awake?"

"I-was-gonna-but-you-were-already-occu-pied-with-lectu-ring-Renji."

"Yeah… thanks, man." Came the reply of his red-headed friend, whom walked in while rubbing the back of his head. "I've been trying to keep her in check all morning, but-"

"Who're you trying to keep in check, doofus?" The petite Shinigami yelled at Renji. Then she redirected her anger back at the chuckling Substitute. "And you're no better than him! Can't you understand my feelings on this? I've been so worried about you and-"

Rather than letting her rant, where it would be impossible to get a word in between, Ichigo just decided to take action and drew her in for a hug. She froze, so he placed his chin on top of her forehead, close enough to inhale her distinct smell and tighten the hug. She started stammering, taken aback by his move, before she surrendered and shut up. Her arms came up to answer the hug.

"I know, Rukia." The Substitute said, smiling. "But I'm back now and it's gonna be okay."

"I've been trying to tell her that all morning, but-"

"Shut up, Renji!" She spat. "It's a woman's thing to be worried like this. A pineapple like you wouldn't understand." Ichigo chuckled again at Renji's annoyed huff. They broke the hug and she started a barrage of questions. Ichigo tried to indulge her, but the only thing that was really on his mind was Uryu.

He only told her the Espada had tortured them, to get information and to clone him for his Hollow form. He left out all the parts where he tortured Uryu and what methods that bastard had made him use. Thankfully, the Shinigami girl bought it. After all, she trusted him with her life. She had no reason to doubt his story.

After Rukia seemed satisfied and had assured him a couple of times Szayelaporro's new residence was Kurotsuchi Mayuri's lab from now on, Ichigo thanked her. He had something important to say to the other Shinigami.

"I need to talk to Renji about something." She looked a little surprised, trying to figure out why.

"Well… sure." Rukia smiled. "Go ahead."

The Substitute sighed. "No… umm…" He stammered. "I meant… alone."

"Oh." She looked at him a little suspicious, before looking towards the red-head and X-raying him with her eyes.

Renji shrieked and said: "I don't know what this is about, Rukia. I swear!"

"Alright." She answered, flatly. "If you two wanna be alone, I'll just go annoy Urahara."

"You're not annoying." Ichigo assured her.

"Fine." She said, obviously a little frustrated, before exiting the room and closing the door behind her. Renji lifted an eyebrow and looked at him questioningly.

"Come closer." Ichigo said and made an accompanying gesture. "Follow me into the other room. I don't want anybody listening in."

"Oookay…" Renji did as he was told, but was clearly not catching on. Ichigo went into a small storage room of Urahara's shop, closed the door and started to whisper:

"Renji, this is very important-"

"Why are we whispering?" Murmured the red-head, looking confused.

"Just listen, alright. I'm not joking around right now." Ichigo took a slow breath in and out before continuing and by doing so Renji took on a completely other air, probably understanding that he was indeed serious. "You and Uryu's dad have seen those movies…" He trailed off before swallowing and looked at the floor. "What I did to Uryu…." He stopped again, trying to get the words out of his mouth.

Seeing him struggle, Renji sighed and gave him a soft smile. "I understand, Ichigo. You were under some kind of mind control. I got that." He put a hand on the Substitute's shoulder and squeezed reassuringly. "Ishida isn't a dumbass. I'm sure he realized-"

"You can't tell him we saw those movies!" Ichigo blurted out and locked eyes with the other Shinigami. "He tried so hard to keep it a secret from me, to spare me… I just… I want to honor that sacrifice." His voice broke on that last sentence and his chest constricted again, making it hard to form the words he wanted to say.

Renji sighed again. "Allright." The red-head agreed, looking concerned. "I won't tell Ishida anything. You can trust me, Ichigo. I'll pretend I don't know about any of that."

"You can't tell Rukia, either! Or the others." Ichigo sunk his head into his hands. "If they knew what kind of atrocities I carried out on that boy… Just because he's in love with me… I-I can't…" He was trying really hard not to break down, to keep it all in, and for now he was succeeding at keeping his tears at bay, but Renji knew him too well.

"It's okay, Ichigo." He stepped forward and hugged him firmly against his chest. "You didn't want to do those things to him. I'm sure Ishida knows that, too. That Espada's at fault. Not you. We'll figure it out, somehow."

"But, I've done horrible things to him, Renji… You haven't even seen everything." He clutched Renji's Shihakusho hard. "I-I turned into this Hollow and… I hurt him so much he almost died..." Ichigo bit his lip and tasted blood, but couldn't prevent a sob to roll from his lips as a few tears rolled from his cheeks. Renji tightened their embrace and Ichigo didn't resist as he was in dire need of comfort.

"It's okay, Ichigo. Just let it all out. You'll feel better." The red-head patted his back and the Substitute was grateful for his listening ear and his shoulder to cry on. "It's not your fault. That Sizzel-A-Porn used you."

"I-I don't know what to do." Ichigo took a long breath in and out again, trying to get the emotions swirling inside of him from boiling over. "I don't know what to say to him… "

"Just say what comes natural." Renji locked eyes with his friend. "Just follow your heart, Ichigo. And give it time. Ishida will need time to heal as well."

"Y-yeah…" He stammered, while wiping away his tears. Uryu'll need plenty of time. Being treated that way by the one he loves… He couldn't even imagine what the Quincy must've felt like.

"Just take it one step at a time. He'll understand."

"I… I hope so." Lowering his gaze again, partly embarrassed, partly confused, Ichigo said: "A-and… I don't know what to do with his feelings either…" He swallowed hard and gripped the red-heads Shihakusho again.

"Yeah, that was quite the surprise!" Renji blurted out and snickered, but as he took another look at the Substitute's flustered face, he realized a joke was out of place right now. So the red-head gave him a soft smile and patted his orange hair. "Don't force yourself to like him that way, Ichigo. Take time to think it over carefully. If you pretend to like him out of guilt, and he finds out, that'll sting like hell." Ichigo had already figured that one out for himself. He just didn't know what to do. "Give it time. Don't make any decisions yet. You're too shaken right now."

"I-I'll try… " The Substitute said, breaking the hug. "But promise me you won't mention any of this to the others. Not about what I did, nor that Uryu's… well, gay."

"You have my word, Ichigo." He patted him on the back again. "If you want to talk about it, I'm always there for you, alright."

"Thanks, Renji."

Renji was right. They both needed time to heal. He'll just try to go with that, and take it easy for a while. Heavens knows, he'd been through enough… He did have to talk to Uryu, though. And he'd just follow Renji's advice on that one. He'd follow his heart.

After his talk with Renji, followed by a feisty lecture from Rukia as she 'couldn't be in on the secret', Ichigo really wanted to know how the Quincy was doing. His 2 Shinigami friends had to go back to Soul Society anyway, so he started to wander around Urahara's shop. He only had to go through a few rooms to find the mysterious shop-keeper.

"Oh, Ishida-san? Well, he looked pretty glum, honestly. But at least he's healed and up and running again. I made sure he ate, as promised." The man smiled.

"Yeah…" Ichigo said. "Where can I find him?"

"I offered a nice, relaxing, hot soak in my traditional bath and he accepted. His father had brought a change of clothes after all, and he was still wearing your Kosode. I'm sure a nice bath will do him good."

"Yeah…" Ichigo muttered again, looking at his feet. Uryu hadn't seen a bath in weeks, unlike him. He could imagine a few reason why the other teen desperately wanted to get clean…

"As a matter of fact," Urahara chirped, cheerfully, "I think that's just what's ailing you, too, Kurosaki-san." He gripped him by the shoulders and started shoving him towards the bathroom in the back.

"No, that's alright! I mean-" Ichigo protested, but it fell on deaf ears as he was firmly pushed into the antechamber.

"No, no, this is just what the doctor… errr… shop-keeper prescribes." Urahara smiled. "I'm sure it'll do you good. You seem so incredibly tense. As did your friend."

"But-"

"Just undress in this room, then go wash up in the next, before you can soak for as long as you want. You'll feel better, I guarantee it."

"But-"

"Owww, come on. You have flecks of dried blood on you, and you just look a mess. Stop resisting so much." Ichigo sighed and allowed himself to be manhandled. "Here are some fresh towels for you." With that, the cheerful man dumped a small pile of soft, linen cloths into his hands.

"Alright…" Sighed Ichigo. Maybe Urahara was right. The hot water might just relax him a little. The same went for Uryu.

"Oh and Kurosaki-san?" Urahara said, while turning his back towards him. "He knows." Ichigo gulped and the shop-keeper closed the sliding door between them.

Of course he knew. For a natural genius like Uryu to wake up, all healed and good to go, and not realize something was wrong with his powers… Impossible.

Ichigo shrugged out of his Hakama and put them folded on a bench. He wound a towel around his waist, and placed an extra one over his shoulder. He swallowed hard as he felt his heart racing for this inevitable confrontation with Uryu. Anxiously but careful, he opened the sliding door towards the traditional bathroom.

Under the only window in the back of the room was a large bathtub, big enough for 3 people. Ichigo had expected a fairly modest bathroom, but not this luxurious chamber fit for a spa. On the right wall in front of the bath were 2 low seats on the floor. Each in front of a faucet and a counter with soap and a rinsing bowl, among other things.

Uryu sat on the seat closest to the bath. The bright daylight peered down onto him from the nearby window and gave his pale skin a faint, golden glow. He was naked, except for a towel draped over his upperthighs. The Quincy was mindlessly scrubbing at his body, and judging from how red his usually pale skin looked, he'd been at it for a while. His head was bowed down, so his freshly washed wet hair fell in front of part of his face. Shielding his pale features while droplets of water slowly dripped down from his dark strands. His eyes were vacant, staring at the floor as in trance. And he was sunk so deep in thought that he didn't even notice Ichigo had entered the room.

Ichigo felt his heart skip a beat. Uryu looked so lost… So vulnerable… It hurt just to look at him.

"H-hey…" He tried, while stepping closer. Uryu made a startled sound and his eyes darted into his direction. He wasn't wearing his spare glasses as the steam coming from the hot water would simply fog them up.

Ichigo sucked in a sharp breath. Uryu really had only noticed his presence just now, by looking at him. As a Quincy, Uryu had been able to sense people from long distances away, faster than any of his other friends could. It had always been his forte. But now…

"I-Ichigo?" He asked, a little uncertain due to his blurry vision.

"Yeah, it's me. How are you feeling?"

Uryu's gaze dropped back to the floor and he looked so depressed it tugged at the Substitute's heart. He didn't even have to answer the question, Ichgio already knew he felt like crap. After everything he went through, to have his powers stripped from him. It was just too much…

"Fine… I guess." The Quincy answered out of politeness. "Inoue-san healed me after all." Ichigo wanted to rejoice, as that was the most Uryu had spoken to him in weeks! "I… I'm sure you heard…. about my powers."

"Unfortunately, yes." Ichigo sighed. "But I'm sure Urahara will look into the matter. Or maybe your father will find a solution. Don't give up hope yet."

"My father won't help me." Uryu stated dully. "He doesn't care." The Quincy was still looking down and made cold droplets from his wet hair drip onto his body. Ichigo noticed he started to shiver slightly.

"You should rinse and get into the hot water. It'll do you good." He said. "You'll get cold like this." Uryu didn't answer, nor moved. He just sat there, staring at the floor.

When Ichigo took a step closer, the other boy immediately looked up. His eyes trying to figure out the Substitute's intentions, while he covered himself better with his towel. Ichigo remembered Renji's words and just said what felt natural, what he would've said before all of this.

"Oww, don't be such a prude!" The Substitute chuckled. "It's not like I haven't seen you naked before."

As he saw Uryu's eyes go wide, then contort into misery, Ichigo quickly realized his mistake.

"Shit! I didn't mean… I only wanted to lighten the mood." He took a step closer and reached for him, but Uryu jumped up from his seat, startled, while frantically securing the towel around his waist. His breath hitched and panic was clearly visible on his face.

Ichigo froze on the spot. Hurt shooting through his entire being.

The Quincy swayed by the sudden movement, probably from his blood pressure, and braced himself against the tub with shaking hands. He took a quivering breath and seemed to try and calm himself down, but…

"I… I'm sorry…" Uryu sobbed as he sat down on the edge of the bathtub, tears spilling from his torment filled eyes and body trembling. "I'm sorry… Ichigo… I-I can't help it. I've been through… so much…" Uryu buried his face into his hands.

Ichigo felt so guilty at the other boy's display, his heart broke. The fact they were both naked besides nothing but a towel around their waist wasn't helping either. For several excruciating long seconds, he just stood there, gaping. Gaping at Uryu's sorrow. Gaping at his slouched shoulders, the tears that dripped down between his trembling fingers, and his jittery body-language.

He couldn't blame him…

He'd seen that horrendous footage only hours ago, but apart from that, the last thing Uryu remembered was being brutally raped and mortally wounded by his own monstrous form, before saying his goodbye's to Ichigo. He couldn't fathom what all of that had done to the Quincy's psyche. It wasn't all that crazy for the boy to be afraid of him…

Watching the Quincy break down in front of him, made all of his walls crumble and before Ichigo could stop himself, tears were streaming down his own face. He felt so bad, he just wanted to comfort the other teen… Wanted to relieve him from those painful tears. Wanted to hold him like his life depended on it. Wanted to feel his soothing warmth and hear him whisper his name.

Very slowly and with a pounding heart, he walked up to the Quincy and tentatively touched his cheek. Uryu allowed the gesture and looked up at him with weary, tear-filled eyes, trying to stifle his sobs. The Quincy gasped as he saw how Ichigo's eyes reflected his own.

The Substitute whispered, hoarsely: "Don't you apologize. I'm the one who's sorry, Uryu."

As he felt how the Quincy wrapped his arms around him with desperation and drew him close, he couldn't take it any longer. Ichigo's resolve shattered and broken sobs started wrecking his frame, while tears relentlessly streamed down his face. Clinging to Uryu in anguish.

"I'm sorry, Uryu. I'm so sorry.." He chanted, over and over again, holding the other boy close. "That bastard made me do it!" He buried his face in the crook of Uryu's shoulder, and Uryu indulged him. They were both holding each other just as fiercely, sharing their grief. Letting it all out.

"I-I know… Ichigo." The other teen sobbed, while tightening the embrace. "I don't… blame you. I k-knew you'd be… devastated…"

"B-but…" The Substitute stammered with a trembling lower lip. "I did horrible things to you… I was a monster…" He was referring to him assaulting the Quincyy while he was a Vasto Lorde, as he didn't wanted Uryu to know he'd seen those other horrendous acts he partook in, but he was apologizing for everything all the same. His body trembled and he buried his face against Uryu's neck, crying hot tears from sorrow and remorse.

"You're not… at fault…" Uryu whispered as he wrapped his arms around him even tighter. Ichigo could feel his heart pound in his chest. The world must have gone mad while they were in Szayelaporro's clutches. Here he was, being consoled by the person he horribly mistreated, the person he almost killed.

"I-I have no right to… ask you this… but…" Ichigo trailed off, biting his lip. How could he even say the words after what he did. "But…"

Uryu suddenly cupped his face and locked eyes with him. The archer took a moment to take in his sight, as he must look a broken mess, too, and it made a few more tears spill from his sapphire eyes. Very gently, Uryu tried to wipe Ichigo's tears away with his thumbs before whispering:

"I… I forgive you… Ichigo."

That was it. That was the limit of what the Substitute could take. Uryu should've treated him like an abomination. He should've hated him for everything he did. He should've punched him instead of embracing him. But… he didn't.

Ichigo felt like he'd just been zapped by Szayelaporro's shockwave again and his brain was fried. He couldn't think anymore and even breathing became difficult for a moment. Cold sweat broke out onto his skin and his heart beat so fast he feared an imminent explosion was bound to happen.

Ichigo's face fell as tears ran down his cheeks once more, heartache and misery apparent on his features.

"W-why… how can you…" He sobbed and buried his face against the boy's shoulder once more. "After what I did… I-I can't even… forgive myself." The emotions drained him. He felt devoid of all his energy and his legs gave way. He sank to the floor, and Uryu sank down with him. Together, they huddled against the side of the large bath. Ichigo was grateful both of their towels stayed in place, as he didn't want to send Uryu into another bout of panic.

A strange sense of safety filled Ichigo as Uryu gently tried to sooth him with soft words and caressing arms. He felt protected like this. Whole. For a moment, nothing else mattered. Only him and the Quincy. He felt that deep connection they'd had when he had to claim Uryu and he tried to focus on that sensation, trying to forget the grief and sorrow for just a moment. Those sentiments were too much to process right now. He was feeling so many emotions at the same time, he was afraid his heart was going to burst.

Uryu held him tight, when he whispered close to his ear:

"B-because…. I… I…"

Uryu hesitated. His voice hoarse from crying. Ichigo realized he was probably afraid of confessing his feelings this way. Maybe his mind was foggy about that time he woke up after the assault of the Hollow, and he didn't remember he'd already confessed to him then. But Ichigo already knew that had to be his reason. Love. The Quincy could forgive him so easily because he loved him…

As Ichigo saw the other boy struggle with the words, those words Uryu had been able to tell him while he thought he was dying, the Substitute gently pressed his index-finger against his mouth and watched Uryu's eyes go wide with surprise as he hushed:

"Shhh. I already know."

Uryu gave him a flustered look and wanted to turn his head away in shame, but Ichigo wouldn't let him. He grabbed his chin and took a moment to just look at him. From Uryu's soft, raven-black hair that fittingly framed his face, to his pale features, his trembling lips and grief filled, blue eyes. He was beautiful. He wasn't a nice curvy girl, but he was beautiful in his own way. Even if he'd love to take all that sorrow away from the Quincy, and see him smile. Ichigo gasped at that admittance. He didn't understand what that meant right now, nor did he wish to dwell much upon all of this. They both needed time off, to rest and heal, to come to terms with all that had happened, and… to figure out how they'd take it from here.

Before Ichigo knew what he was doing, he'd already pressed his lips against Uryu's in a tentative but soft kiss. That was what his heart guided him to do. That was what he wanted right now. He didn't understand it himself, but that didn't matter at the moment.

The Quincy made a startled sound and his eyes went wide from surprise. They'd kissed before in that awful prison, but now they were hoisted back into reality, Uryu had probably thought it wouldn't happen again. As their lips met, Ichigo watched the other boy intently for signs of fear, but after a few bittersweet seconds, all hints of that ebbed away and Uryu got a soft look in his eyes while a crimson blush covered his cheeks, accepting and allowing this form of intimacy with him.

Ichigo gave the Quincy a soft smile, before he kissed him again with more confidence. Closing his eyes, he ran one of his hands through the other's raven-black hair, while placing his other hand on the back of the other boy's neck to steady them. A content hum sprang from Uryu's lips, who'd closed his eyes as well, as he returned the kiss. Cupping the Substitute's face tenderly. It became a soft pull and push of lips, sweet and warm. Ichigo didn't dare to take the kiss too far and kept it chaste. Not only because of his own hesitation, but because the boy in his arms had been broken. He didn't dare to ask for more than either of them was ready to give.

Ichigo didn't know how long they kissed like that, he would've been delighted with "forever" with the way it made his heart flutter. Somewhere along the way, they'd both stopped crying. They had to stop when they were both out of breath, however. Panting, Uryu wore that same amorous look on his face that he'd seen before a few times. Ichigo was trying to regain his breath, too, and just smiled at him.

"Why don't you rinse so you can finally get into that hot tub?" Ichigo chuckled. Uryu was still gazing at him like the world was going to end if he stopped doing so.

"R-right…" The Quincy answered after a brief silence.

As he saw the hesitation in his eyes, Ichigo added: "Don't worry. I won't look." And he patted his head.

"No… it's not that…" Uryu tried, looking down. "It's just… I can't control my panic. It just takes over…"

"I know." Ichigo hushed. "We'll find a way to make that better. You need time and someone who cares. I'll help you through this. I promise." A few shocked tears fell from Uryu's eyes again at that vow, but Ichigo kissed his eyelids softly and wiped the salty droplets away, deepening the other boy's blush on a startled gasp.

"You'd… do that… for me?" Uryu had difficulties to get the words out, the emotions choking him.

"Yes, Uryu, because I need you." Came the Substitute's flat answer. He hadn't thought that answer through and just blurted it out because that was the way he felt right now. After taking care for Uryu for weeks in that prison, he really did need him. It would be so weird to start living apart again.

That answer was obviously more than the Quincy could take right now. His defenses crumbled completely and he buried his face against Ichigo's neck, while his arms wrapped around him and hot tears ran down his cheeks.

"Y-you have… no idea… how long… I've been longing… to hear those words." Uryu sobbed. "F-for so long… I…" He couldn't continue, completely overwhelmed by the emotions.

Ichigo wrapped him against his chest, gently stroking his hair and back while he let the other boy spill his grief, whispering soft encouragements to him.

"It's okay, Uryu. Just let it all out." He murmured.

No, he didn't know how long Uryu had been secretly longing for him, but judging from the sacrifices he'd been willing to make on his account, his love for him hadn't simply appeared overnight. That knowledge pained him now, as he'd not always treated the other boy well and they'd shouted insults at each other on many occasions. Apparently, for Uryu that'd just been to mask his true feelings, but for him… He didn't know. He didn't understand his own behavior right now, but the only thing he did know was that he wanted Uryu to spend more time with him. They could be close friends, and then just see where all of this went.

After Uryu's sobs started to subside, Ichigo looked at him and said: "We'll figure it out, Uryu. But for now, you really should get into that hot bath. It'll do you good."

The Quincy huffed a soft laugh at that and dried his weary eyes on his palm. "Yeah…"

Slowly, Ichigo stood up and guided the other boy with him. Uryu was a bit wobbly from that emotional outburst, but managed to steady himself after a moment.

Ichigo still had to wash himself before he could enter the hot tub. He took the second seat before placing his towel on the counter above the faucet in front of him and reached for the soap and shampoo. He didn't watch Uryu, but as he heard the splash of water, he knew the other boy had followed his instructions and was rinsing

As the Substitute was washing up, he heard how the Quincy sank into the hot water with a hiss. It made him snicker. He quickly finished his job, before rinsing himself. As he rose to his feet, looking over his shoulder towards the tub, he saw Uryu was watching him intently, blushing deeply. Had he been watching his back ever since he'd stepped into the bath? As their gazes met, the archer gasped and quickly looked away. Ichigo chuckled. He didn't mind all that much. He'd go easy on him. For his own sake, too.

As Ichigo slowly sunk into the hot water on a long sigh, he felt the tension in his body gradually subside. Opening his eyes, he looked at the Quincy and gave him a soft smile. Neither of them said a word. They just sat there in that shared moment of peace and comfort.

Ichigo sighed as his mind was re-booting and his thoughts became swirls again, but the sound he made could easily be interpreted as a side effect of being submerged in hot water.

He needed to protect this Quincy, of that he was sure. He wanted to keep him safe. Ichigo couldn't risk letting Uryu join their fights anymore for the time being. It was just too dangerous without his powers. The thought they'd hurt him again, that he' could die made his blood run cold.

Uryu was just barely starting to recover from his ordeals. His body had been healed by Orihime, but his mind hadn't healed yet. Just like Ichigo's mind. That maniac, Szayelaporro, had taken too much from either of them, he couldn't say for certain they'd both make a full recovery. Somethings would be forever lost or broken, but he knew they couldn't keep crying over that. They needed to go on, to reclaim their lives. So even if it pained him to tell Uryu he couldn't join their battles anymore, he had no other choice. He would give the other teen some time before delivering that message. The Quincy'd probably figure it out on his own.

Ichigo was so afraid to hurt him again, of becoming that monster again. He needed to think everything over carefully, but first they needed to heal.

His hand searched around the tub and he reached for Uryu's hand, which he clasped and gave him a smile. He was pleased to see the Quincy mimic the gesture, and his smile warmed his heart a little.

Ichigo made a fist of his other hand as determination shot through him.

He needed to protect Uryu at any cost. It was what a hero like him was supposed to do. He needed to shelter him from Hollows, Espada's and the likes. He needed to keep him safe.

'Even from myself…' a soft and anxious voice whispered in the back of his mind.

To be continued…

AN: Well, that's it for now. Thanks for reading.

All of this will be continued in my 2nd story "Trash like me".

The next story will pick up after this, and will be seen from Uryu's point of view.

Reviews are always welcome and will keep my motivation up :)