What the Darkness Knows

Chapter 3

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Lavi was nodding off in the wheel chair he was being pushed in. At the nurse's insistence, Allen and Lavi left the infirmary in a slow pace so Lavi could get his recommended exercise. He also had another mask affixed to his face. They'd gotten a bit farther than before, but Lavi was still unable to make it to his own room or Allen's. They both agreed that if they were able to make it to one of their rooms that Lavi could rest there for a little while before making their way back to the infirmary.

It had been a week since Lavi lost it over his recollection of the accident. He's kept tight control of his emotions since breaking down, they only ever slipped out in his sleep anymore. As such, Allen wouldn't leave his side. He knew that Lavi was getting frustrated with him because of it, but he still wouldn't go, not until Lavi could at least make it a decent distance on his own. Allen wouldn't forgive himself if Lavi collapsed in a hallway somewhere with no one around to help him.

What Allen didn't know was that Lavi was extremely grateful. Even if he was seemingly incapable at showing it. Lavi was so focused on regaining his endurance that he wasn't looking out for his own wellbeing, and he knew it. Apparently Allen knew it too because before he could lose his footing and trip down the hall, Allen was there with an indulgent smile and two strong arms to help him. The two of them were already close as it was, but their friendship kept growing more every day. Lavi just wished he knew how to tell or show Allen how appreciative he was of his efforts without taking a blow to his masculinity. Boo-hooing was chic stuff - the last thing he wanted was a crying face and a blubbering nose as he threw his arms around Allen's shoulders and broke the damn that was his eye. If he tried to acknowledge it now before he could squash his emotions, that again, he wasn't supposed to have, that is exactly what would happen. He'd broken down enough in front of his friend. He just had to suck it up and get well enough to be off that damned mask. Even though it helped him to breathe, it left his throat dry and his mouth parched.

"How are you doing, Lavi?"

Lavi looked up at Allen for a moment, then cursed to himself as a cough rattled through his chest. He only shrugged his shoulders and hunched down more in the chair. Allen noted the despondence that radiated off the redhead. Lavi sometimes tried to mask it as tired indifference, but he knew better.

"I was thinking," Allen stopped walking and moved around to the front of the chair, "We nearly made it to my room today, would you like to go there to rest instead of the infirmary?"

Lavi sat there blinking at Allen. When his friend didn't respond Allen furrowed his brows and placed his hand on Lavi's shoulder. Suddenly, the redhead began to chortle then it turned in to an all-out guffaw. Allen's face became even more confused and made Lavi laugh even harder.

"I don't understand, what's so funny?"

The laughing didn't take long to break down into coughing and distressed breathing. Lavi had curled in on himself a bit while he was laughing so Allen pushed him up into an upright position. Between the coughs, Lavi continued to chuckle. Allen stood back up and stared down at his friend.

"You-you're so forward, Allen!" then Lavi dissolved into a fit of giggles again.

Allen finally understanding what Lavi meant, blushed furiously. It was great to see Lavi laugh again, he'd missed it, even if it was at his own expense. After some thinking, Allen decided to do something, and a dark smile covered his face. He reached down and cupped Lavi's chin, Allen moved Lavi's head from side to side. Lavi didn't think anything of it as he was still laughing. Allen quickly plucked the mask off Lavi's face and leaned down to kiss him on the lips. When he pulled back, Lavi had stopped his laughing and now his was the face that was blushing. Lavi sat in a stunned silence as he reached up and touched his lips with his fingers. Allen brushed them away from his face and put the mask back on his friend like nothing out of the ordinary had happened at all. Smirking, Allen patted Lavi's shoulder and stretched.

"So, yes, that would be my place and not yours."

Allen winked at Lavi and crossed his arms over his chest. He saw Lavi tense up slightly and open his eye wide. Allen couldn't take it anymore, he sputtered into a hearty laugh that sent him to his knees as tears leaked from his eyes. Lavi still sat starring at Allen. This only added to his confusing pit of emotional instability. He felt a tear escape from his eye and wiped it away quickly. His masks, he can't forget about his masks. So being the good little Bookman that he thought he still was, he wheeled up to Allen and put him in a headlock.

That was how Komui found them, Allen crying in a giggle fit, Lavi giving Allen noogies while his medical mask bounced around against his chin. A face splitting grin graced Lavi's face as he kept asking Allen if he thought that was funny, huh?

Komui just smiled at them before clearing his throat, loudly. They still carried on, oblivious to their audience. He tapped his finger against his chin as he thought for a moment.

"WWWWWWHHHHHHHHHYYYYYYYYY!?" Komui wailed loudly as he ran around the boys. Finally noticing the chief, they settled down and clung to each other as Komui's circles began getting closer to them. Allen suddenly threw his leg out and tripped him lest he be trampled. The scientist fell to the ground with an 'oof'.

"Well, that wasn't very nice now was is?" Komui stood up and brushed the dust off of his clothing. "Now that I have your attention, Allen, I'd like to speak to you in my office."

Allen visibly gulped, "Is it okay if Lavi comes too?"

Lavi sat up strait in his chair and tried to pry off the clingy Allen, "Why do I have to go? You tripped him!"

Neither of them wanted to go into Komui's office. When they were called in there for a mission, it was okay, but otherwise, that was the place of strange experiments and temporary disappearances. Komui only tilted his head down to stare at them both, light glinting menacingly off his glasses.

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Lavi was sat in his chair as close to the door as possible. He had his arms crossed on his chest as he glared at Allen for forcing him to come with him to the mad scientist's lair. Allen was seated on the couch closer to Komui's desk, if you could find it beneath the mounds of paper that littered the entirety of the office. He nervously picked at his gloves and the couch and anything he could to avoid looking at Komui. Allen heard a loud sigh, then Komui sat down next to him on the couch.

"You're not in trouble, I only wanted to talk to you about your last mission."

Allen looked up at Komui with a relieved expression, and Lavi rolled himself closer since there was nothing dangerous or suspicious going to take place.

"I haven't turned in your report yet. I have some questions about this exorcist you met."

Komui leaned back against the couch and stared at Allen. Allen only looked at him confused.

"I don't really know anything more than what I put in the report. What is it that you want to know?"

"You never saw her take on any Akuma, but you said that your innocence reacted to hers when it was activated. What makes you so sure that she's an exorcist?"

"Why would she lie about that? I mean, she didn't outright say she was an exorcist, but with the ability that she showed me, plus what she says she can do, what other conclusion was I supposed to come to? When her innocence probed mine, it felt similar to when Hevlaska did the same thing. What is it that you're really questioning?"

Even though Lavi was tired, he was tuned in to the conversation. He thought there was only one being like Hevlaska. To hear that there is another, was interesting.

"Well, Allen, we don't have any records of an exorcist named Jasmine that has any kind of powers like that. If everything that you've told me is accurate, I'm not sure that I want to do an in depth search of the entire Black Order's database. If she has gone by another name, or came from a different area of the world, that would draw attention to her that she may not want. Central may try to force her into coming in, and I don't want that."

"You really think that they would do that? Remove her from her home by force?"

Komui looked down at his lap as his face was covered in shadows. "They've done it before, to Lenalee and to Kanda." This was said in a whisper and Allen gasped, Lavi sighed from across the room and closed his eye. "I won't stand for it to happen again under my watch. The people that come here need to come voluntarily, otherwise what's the point?"

"She was able to communicate with your innocence!?"

Komui's head snapped up and looked at Lavi. He had wheeled himself over to the desk and opened a file folder. It was the mission he was going over with Allen. He had a look of shock on his face as he read what Allen wrote.

"Lavi, if you're going to make an official note of this, I would appreciate it if you only did so to the Bookman records. Unless she comes in on her own, I don't want this or any rumors floating around. I won't make this report official lest she's here."

Allen looked thoughtfully at the report in Lavi's hands, "Well, I made sure that she knows where we are, so she can get here if she chooses. The experience was amazing. I actually do feel more connected to my innocence now than I did before." Allen removed his glove and looked at his left hand where his innocence was glowing. "It only ever used to glow right before it activated. Now it glows when I think about how happy it's made me."

Lavi sat back a moment to think. He was sure that Allen had that wrong, there was one other time that he knew he'd seen it glow, and Allen was anything but happy. Back when Allen was trying to save him, when he was soaked through to the bone and the moonlight was all you could see by. Lavi didn't realize anyone was near him until he felt hands on his own. He was having trouble breathing again and his vision was getting dark. He felt the breathing mask back on his face and saw Allen's concerned gaze as he struggled to breathe. He heard Allen talking but couldn't make out the whole sentence before he lost consciousness.

"…..gets…this…..remembers…drown."

Komui was also concerned as he looked at the two exorcists. Lavi had yet to turn in his own report. He wasn't going to push him to turn in it yet. Especially not now. Recollecting his drowning sent him into a panic attack. He wasn't even able to stay awake for a full day yet as the pneumonia had wreaked havoc on his respiratory system. Komui gasps quietly as he noticed that Allen's innocence that had stopped glowing when they were seated on couch, was glowing again as he tried to rouse Lavi. He stored that information away for another time.

"Allen, I think maybe you should take him to get some rest. When he wakes he'll still be tired. Panic attacks are very exhausting."

"That's probably a good idea. I think he's getting a bit stir crazy though, can you let them know that I'm taking him to my room? That's where we were headed when you ran into us."

"Of course, just keep the tomfoolery to a minimum. I don't think Lavi can handle it yet." Komui pushed his glasses back up on his nose and placed his hand on Allen's shoulder. "Take good care of him."

Allen was still crouched in front of Lavi, still unaware of his glowing innocence. "I will." Allen smiled at the chief and went back to repositioning Lavi in his chair. Komui had a theory about Allen's glowing hand, but would keep it to himself for now.

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His head was throbbing, but his body was comfortable and warm. Lavi groaned as he pulled the covers up to his shoulders. He thought he was back in the infirmary. There was a cool hand on his forehead and Lavi pressed his head into it. He heard a sigh and then felt a cool cloth placed on his head. Slowly opening his eye through the pain, the picture in front of him was fuzzy, but Allen soon came into focus.

"Allen…" Lavi got frustrated with the mask and pulled it down. "Where are we?"

"I brought you to my room. It was closer than the infirmary." Allen ran his fingers through Lavi's hair pushing it away from his face. Lavi whined when Allen pulled his hand away.

"Headache?" Allen asked watching as Lavi nodded and closed his eye. "I told Komui to let the hospital staff know that I brought you here."

Allen placed his hands on either side of his friend's head and began massaging his temples. The sounds coming from his friend were borderline obscene. Tears were leaking out of both Lavi's eyes apparently. It was a bad headache then. Lavi was running a slight fever still. He curled his body around where Allen sat on the side of the bed.

Lavi took a moment to really take stock of himself at the moment. He was in Allen's room, not the very public infirmary. The wet cloth slipped from his forehead as he curled in more and rested his head against Allen's leg. He shouldn't be letting himself do this. He felt his body tremble a bit and real tears seep from his eyes. Allen stopped his ministrations when he felt Lavi clench his fists into the fabric of his pants.

"I…I'm sorry, Allen." Lavi ground out. "I just…I feel so useless. I can't stay awake, I can't even walk to my room without having to take breaks. I … I …"

Allen rested his hand on Lavi's back, he knew something like this was going on inside that head of his. He just had to wait on Lavi to admit it.

"Lavi, it's alright. You've been sick, and the pneumonia is taking it's time clearing your system. You know when you're sick it plays with your emotions."

"It's not jus… just that. Allen, if you hadn't caught up with me I'd be dead right now!" and just like that Lavi was sobbing. He felt Allen start to move away and he clenched tighter to his pants. "Nno… please don't go."

"Lavi," Allen placed his hand on the redhead's cheek, "I'm not going anywhere, but you need to calm down. This is going to aggravate your lungs. It could set your recovery back."

Lavi felt Allen crawl over him so he could lay down behind him. As soon as Allen was settled and the covers were over him, Lavi turned his body to Allen wrapping his arm around him and pillowed his head on Allen's chest. Allen lay there letting Lavi soak his night shirt with his tears. He didn't know how to help him passed this. Allen supposed that Lavi being a Bookman remembered things that normal people didn't and that must have spooked him even more with his accident. Allen wrapped his arm around Lavi and carded his fingers through his hair again. Trying to get him to settle down.

Allen always thought of Lavi as a strong person. He always seems so put together, but, he guessed everyone had their breaking point. Lavi would be forcing himself to deal with all of this alone if Bookman was back at the Order. Lavi's always more open when Bookman's not around. Though he tries to deny that he has feelings, Lavi's human and emotions are an integral part of the human condition. Lavi sniffled loudly and then choked when he tried to breathe in again. Allen pounded his back a couple of times and Lavi settled again.

"Maybe we should get the mask back on you…"

"N… not yet. I… I meant to thank you Allen. For everything that you've done for me. I know I… I can't be easy to be around right now. It… it means a lot to me that you've been with me every day, taking care of me, helping me. I feel so lost right now, I don't know what I would do if I looked up and you weren't there. And that… that scares me, Allen."

Lavi said the last part very quietly, but Allen still caught it. He felt a lightness in his chest as his heart felt like it was fluttering around in his ribcage. He liked feeling like he was needed. He squeezed Lavi tight against his chest.

"You know that you're only feeling some of these things because you're not very mobile right now, don't you? And you're plenty easy to be around. I have no plans on going anywhere until you're fully recovered, Lavi."

"D….dunno Allen, I think I like having you… around all the… time."

The last words were said in a sleepy breath and Allen felt Lavi's death grip fall slack against his side. He continued to run his fingers through Lavi's hair until he heard a small cough come from the redhead. Allen placed the mask back on his friend and sighed.

"I love you too, idiot."

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Lavi was the first to wake and was surprised that he felt so well rested. His head was still on Allen's chest. He watched his friend sleep as he played with the hem of his shirt. Lavi moved his head back a bit and stared at Allen's face. He looked so peaceful, almost angelic. He hesitatingly lifted his hand and traced the outline of his friend's face. Lavi wondered if Allen's hair was as soft as his skin, so he put his hand in in.

Allen shifted a little on the bed, smiled and tightened his arm around Lavi. No one noticed the glowing of Allen's innocence. Lavi didn't see it until a green glow encompassed Allen's body. He gasped. Allen was shrinking in size. When everything was done, Allen still had his signature scar and hair, but he couldn't have been more than four years old. Lavi was opening and closing his mouth like a stupid fish gasping for water. What had just happened? Why? Little Allen was curled up against Lavi's chest and Lavi felt his heart breaking a little bit. After a few more minutes, Allen stretched and yawned, he cuddled himself closer to the heat source near him.

When Allen opened his eyes he saw someone's chest in front of him. He gulped and tried to scramble away from them. He wasn't in the orphanage anymore. He didn't recognize this place. The person in front of him was a stranger even though they seemed familiar. His left hand wasn't covered and the weird thing imbedded in it was glowing, it had never done that before. He pushed himself to the wall and stared at the large green eye that was looking at him. When the man's hand came closer to him he flinched and whimpered.

"Crap." The person in front of him said, "Calm down squirt, I'm not gonna hurt ya."

"Dat's what ebeyone says." Allen's little voice that could barely form those words pushed out.

"You've had it rough haven't you?" The now sad green eyed man said.

He reached out again for his hand this time, his left hand. Allen flinched and tried to hide it behind his back. He wasn't fast enough. The man had a hold of his stupid hand. The one that always got him hurt. Fat tears trickled down the boy's face as he watched the man hold his hand. He wasn't hurting him, he, he was holding it like it was something precious to him. This made the boy cry even harder. Was it a trick? The man then placed his hand on his eye patch that went unnoticed before. He had something that made him different from everyone too. Only one eye.

"No more tears ok. My name's Lavi, what do I call you?" Lavi still looked sad. He sat up in the bed and looked at him.

The boy looked down dejectedly and shrugged, "I dunno. Ain't got a name."

Lavi grinned and tapped his finger on his chin, "Well, we'll have to fix that. Ya gotta have a name! How's Allen sound?"

The boy smiled and nodded tears still on his cheeks, but now forgotten. Allen was startled when the man started coughing harshly. He placed his small hand on Lavi's cheek. "You sick."

Lavi caught his breath and placed his hand over Allen's. Even small Allen had a huge heart. "Yeh, a little bit." He ruffled Allen's hair and watched him giggle, "I'll be better in about a week, though."

Allen smiled wide and asked excitedly, "So you my new Papa?"

Lavi, without thinking freaked out a little, "What!? No!" he saw little Allen's face crumple and tears fall again. Damnit.

"Why?" Allen asked, "No…nobody want me?"

Allen collapsed in on himself and wailed loudly. Lavi only now realized what he'd done. He scooped Allen up into a crushing hug, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I didn't mean it like that squirt. I'm too young to be a Papa, but I want to be your friend. I'll be your bestest friend, okay?"

Allen continued to cry for a little bit slowly hiccupping as the tears stopped. That's when he realized that he was being held, hugged. It almost made him cry again. It was everything that he thought it might be. No one had ever comforted him. Ever hugged him. He threw his arms around Lavi's neck and whispered okay through his hiccups. Lavi felt like he was dying a little bit inside. How was he going to get his friend back, how?