Hey! Sorry for the slow update. Real life has been a bitch lately, and I'm traveling starting tonight, and so I wanted to get this out of the way before I left. This is really more of an epilogue and I know it's a tad rushed (I apologize, you deserve the best story but alas this is the best I can do right now), but I hope you enjoy (yes this is the last chapter).
"Finn, Rose, please see Ms. Organa in her office," Mr. Skywalker tells them, his face solemn.
Finn glances at Rose. What did we do?
She shrugs. For a moment Finn fears it's something to do with her sister, but no, they wouldn't have called him if that were the case. Rey gives him a small smile, a barely discernable bulge under her shirt.
They make it to the office, where Leia tells them to take a seat. Finn brushes his fingers against the soft skin of Rose's hands.
"Congratulations," Leia tells them, a smile fighting through her lips. "Your project won."
Finn's jaw drops. He turns to gape at Rose. She shakes her head wildly.
"The—" Leia doesn't get the chance to finish before Finn hugs her. She lets out a gasp.
"Thank you," he manages. I have a future.
Of course, he thinks as he pulls away. Maybe he did anyways. The way Leia and Han treat him and Rey—he doesn't feel like a burden. And he's still adjusting to what that feels like, because it's new, it's fresh, it's light.
And Rose. Tears fill her eyes, stream down her cheeks. "Why're you crying?" he asks.
Rose snorts. "Because I'm happy. My parents will be so—relieved—they don't have to pay for—"
Finn hugs her. She wraps her arms around him, holding tight.
She helped him earn this scholarship. But she also showed him love. I love you, Rose. I love you.
Finn lets out his breath. They leave the office to find Poe, Rey, Ben, Connix, Jess, and Snap all waiting in the hallway. "You won, didn't you?" Poe asks.
Finn swallows. "Sorry—"
"Nah man," says Poe, grabbing him in a hug. "I'm happy for you. So proud of you both. You—I can't think of two people who deserve it more, you heroes. Smart heroes."
"We should tell Paige," Rose says.
"Well," says Poe. "Ben and I will drive."
Finn, Rose, and Connix head with Poe. Ben and Rey take Jess and Snap. Paige has been moved to a rehabilitation center. She still spoke in a stilted voice and tired easily, and was only just now learning how to walk again. But she was alive, and Finn could see how Rose's eyes lit up every time she entered Paige's room.
Finn and Poe went to meet Paige the first time since she woke up together, with Rose. Poe was more scared than Paige, but she smiled at him, lopsided, but a smile, and she was beautiful.
"This is my boyfriend," Rose had introduced Finn.
"Gotta get better," Paige rasped. "To… fight him."
They'd all laughed, and Paige seemed to be warming up to Finn. She gave Rose a thumbs up last time they went to visit her over the weekend, at least.
"Paige!" Rose sings, escorting them all into her room. "We're all here to see you!"
Paige manages a smile, sitting up in her bed. "Hey."
"Hey," Poe says, still lowing his head as if ashamed.
"Hey," Paige says. "Any news on—Hux?"
"Brendol's taken a plea deal," Connix reports, plopping down on the bed next to Paige and smoothing Paige's hair. "A year and a fine and probation. Armitage is still struggling."
"I heard he isn't even getting his father's lawyer and he's stuck with a court appointed one," said Snap, leaning back against the window. Jess hoists herself up on the sill.
"No," Ben says quietly. "Chirrut is a friend of my parents. He's a good lawyer."
"Honestly, Brendol Hux makes my dad look like a great dad," Poe declared.
Finn swallowed. He wondered. He knew how it felt—to be so abandoned by the people who were supposed to love you no matter what, love you forever. And to have them turn on you—for him, to never want him, for Poe, to want him but be so trapped by an illness you couldn't reach your child and still hurt him, for Hux—to be condemned by your selfish father even though you sank to such depths and damned yourself in an effort to save him—he can't imagine the pain.
"I'll write him," Paige says.
"Huh?" Rose blinks.
She manages a small smile. "Don't hate him."
Rey shakes her head.
"How's baby?" Paige asks Rey.
Rey flushes. "Good. The morning sickness is finally—stopping."
Paige gives another thumbs up.
"But what would you say?" Poe wonders.
Paige tilts her head to look up at him. "That I don't hate him. He's not my friend, but I don't hate him." She reaches for her cup of ginger ale. "You're my friend, Poe."
Poe closed his eyes. "Even though I did this to you?"
"If you want to be," Paige says. "Yes."
Poe's eyes mist over. Finn gives his friend a smile. Don't hate yourself. You are forgiven. Deserve doesn't matter.
"Paige, guess what," Rose says. She clutches Finn's hand.
"Oh God," moans Paige. "If you're—I swear Rose—if I'm going to be an aunt I gotta be out of this place so—"
"What?" Rose yelps. "No! No Paige! I am not pregnant!"
"Safe sex kids," Paige mumbles. Ben and Rey turn red. Finn's face feels as if embarrassment scalds it.
"Great advice," Finn says sarcastically.
"No problem. Anytime." Paige slurps through her straw.
"We won, Paige," Rose blurts out. "The scholarship. Finn and my project won."
Paige's jaw falls open. And Finn thinks for a moment about her. She should be graduating this spring. Instead she'll graduate with them, as she hopes to start school again next year. But she was moving forward. "I'm so proud of you, Rosie."
"Rosie?" asks Poe, eyes gleaming.
"Cup, Paige," Rose commands.
Paige hands it over. She crumples it and tosses it off Poe's forehead. He yelps.
…
Ben woke up at three in the morning to a pounding on his door. He scrambled out of bed to find Rey standing there. "What's wrong?" he hisses. "What's happening? Is the baby—"
"Shh," Rey says, slipping into his room and shutting the door. She takes his hands and put them over her abdomen. "Feel that?"
Ben frowns. Her stomach is slightly rounded now, and it's still so new for both of them—they're having a child. And now, he feels flutters in her stomach, just a tad, like fragile butterfly wings. "Wow."
Rey giggles. She leans her head against his shoulder, and he wraps his arms around her, holding her. I won't let you go.
It still seems incredible to him, that she's here, that she chose him. He knows he doesn't deserve her, and yet she's still here, holding him, and she wants him. It's all he's ever wanted: someone to want him.
His parents have been pretty supportive, helping Ben and Rey find jobs for the summer. Ben's will continue after school restarts in the fall, and his parents offered to help them find childcare so Rey and Ben can finish school.
His uncle will be paying for it. He claims it's the least he can do. But that sits ill at ease with Ben in some ways. Because he feels like his uncle feels it's his fault.
Ben doesn't want to consider this child a mistake. Having sex without using protection—that was a mistake. Their baby is not a mistake. His chest throbs. He wants their child to know how much he loves them. Already. They want him or her, even though they didn't plan for them.
"Unkar Plutt hasn't called," Rey says, settling down in Ben's bed beside him. He wraps his arm around her.
"Did you expect him to?"
Rey shakes her head. "The state seems fine with me staying here, and I doubt he'd protest."
Ben sighs. "I'm sorry."
"I'm still afraid I'll be like them," Rey says. "Or rather, like your parents. Abandon—without even meaning to."
"You won't," Ben says. "I won't let you."
"I won't let you either," Rey says, a smirk on her face.
"My mom told me Luke isn't coming back to teach at the school next year," Ben says. "He's moving away."
Rey sighs. Ben closes his eyes, her shoulder warm against him. His hand rubbed her stomach.
"What happened with the fire," Luke told him. "It was not your fault, Ben."
A good apology. And yet a part of him felt like it came almost too late. And he felt awful for that, but Rey told him she understood, and he thought of her parents and knew she probably did.
…
Rey still feels strange every time Leia accompanied her to a doctor's appointment. But Leia never treats her like she was a burden.
"You doing okay, Rey?" Leia asks one morning over the summer, when the baby was starting to poke out even more and Rey couldn't sleep in.
She nods, pouring herself a glass of orange juice. "Just tired."
"I remember," Leia says. "When I was pregnant with Ben—especially later on in my pregnancy—he kicked me constantly."
Rey laughs. Leia's hand lands on her shoulder. "We want you here, Rey. You know that, right?"
Rey manages a broken smile. "It's good to hear that."
"Ben wasn't planned either," Leia says. "Han and I had just gotten married, straight out of college. Neither Luke nor I were planned either. Han—well, he lost his parents so young he doesn't know."
Does he know how I feel? To grow up without parents? Rey sips her orange juice. It's tangy, sweet too. To be so alone.
"But we always wanted Ben," says Leia, a catch in her voice. "Han was—terrified. It's okay to be terrified, Rey."
Rey swallows. "It is pretty scary." She's about to be responsible for another human being in four more months, and she hardly feels responsible for herself. "You don't—" She stops herself.
"What?" Leia cocks her head.
"Don't…" Rey sighs. "Don't view me as someone who ruined your son's life?"
Leia's eyes widen. "Oh, Rey. No. You and Ben both made this choice. It's not your responsibility alone."
I've always been on my own.
But not anymore.
Rey clears her throat. "Do you want to come to my appointment today?" It's her sonogram to find out the baby's gender.
Leia's eyes mist. "I'd love to."
Ben holds her hand when the nurse, who shook her head at Rey's age when she first met Rey, slides gel over her stomach. The wand presses in, and Rey smiles when she sees the baby pop up on the screen. They look a little more human every single time.
It's a miracle.
"Congratulations," the woman says. "You're having a baby girl."
A daughter. Rey's jaw drops. Ben starts to laugh—in happiness. And Leia, she cries and says the word that cements it to Rey: she really does care. She wants this baby, even if she understands how hard it will be for Ben and Rey even better than they do.
Granddaughter.
…
"Ready, Finn?" Rose calls the weekend before their senior year starts.
"Ready, Rose." Finn texts Poe. Paige smiles from her spot on the huge armchair in Poe's house, having been released from the hospital a few weeks ago. She still uses a cane to get around some days, but she says she's just relieved to be home.
Balloons shaped like animals sit all around, and plates of Vietnamese food that Rose and her mother spent hours cooking sit on a nearby table, setting Finn's stomach grumbling with their rich, spicy scent. Connix, Jess, Snap, Leia, Han, Mr. Dameron, Holdo even—they're all here. A pile of wrapped gifts sits in a corner.
"Surprise!" they all shout when Poe leads Ben and Rey in.
Rey's jaw falls open. "What's this?"
"Your baby shower," Ben tells her.
Rey's gaze sweeps the room, taking in the food, the gifts. Her eyes fill with tears.
"Aw, don't cry," jokes Rose. "We're happy to do this for you, Rey."
She grabs Rose and Finn in an embrace.
…
Starting school again very visibly pregnant was hard for Rey. Phasma and Hux were in juvenile detention centers and Chirrut assured Ben's parents that they were receiving mental health care.
"If anyone makes fun of you, Rey," vows Rose. "I'll deck them."
"Get in line," Finn teases. Ben manages a smile. He's glad. He's glad Rey has so many. And he, he too has friends, and it's so strange.
"How are you doing, kid?" Dad asks after school ends and Rey goes upstairs to take a nap.
Ben shrugs, grabbing an apple for a snack. "School was fine."
Dad rolls his eyes. Chewie smiles. "Not that. How are you feeling?"
Ben arches his eyebrows. "You want to talk about feelings?"
Dad snorts. "Miracles happen."
Ben bites into the apple. It's sour. "I'm okay." I'm scared.
"You know," Dad said carefully. "When we found out we were having you, I was so—worried. That I wouldn't be the father you deserved. And I haven't been." His voice broke. "But I want you to know, Ben, I do love you. You matter more than anything or anyone to me, and I'd give anything for you—I know I've been shit at showing it, but I'm—even though you and Rey are having a kid so young, I'm proud of you for sticking with her."
"I love her," Ben interrupts.
"Good," Dad says. "She's a good kid. Ben, you'll be a good father. I know you will be."
Ben swallows. He puts the apple down on the counter, half-eaten. "Will you help me?"
Dad's face caves. He nods. And grabs Ben in an embrace.
…
It's a freezing cold day in November when Rey starts feeling cramps. She ignores them at first, making it through her morning classes. But by the time literature rolls around, Rey has to stumble out of the classroom to catch her breath. Am I in labor?
She makes it to the bathroom and doesn't see any blood or excess fluid like water.
"Rey?"
She emerges from the stall. Rose's face pales. "You don't look well."
Rey remembers vomiting for the first time with Rose around her. The baby shifts inside of her. "I'm okay."
"I think that's a lie," Rose says. "I'm going to text Ben. And Finn."
Rey cringes, slumping down. "I—"
"No protests," Rose snaps. "You're not alone. You don't have to do this alone."
Three minutes later Ben barges into the girl's bathroom, Finn and Poe on his heels. "Rey!"
"Hi," she rasps. "I think I'm in labor."
"Holy shit," Finn says, clutching his skull. Poe laughs.
"It's not funny, Poe!" bellows Ben.
"She's not but you are," Poe returns.
Ben glares at him as he helps Rey to her feet.
"We'll tell Leia," Rose promises. Ben drives her to the hospital, and Rey's in too much pain to speak during the ride. Ben speeds. Rey curses internally. "I'm sorry," Ben keeps saying. "I'm so sorry."
"Stop—apologizing," Rey gasps out as they reach the hospital. He drags her into the emergency room. "I want—an—epidural."
"I thought you said you wanted natural—"
"Fuck what I said before!" The pain squeezes her from the inside out, digging claws into her abdomen, crushing her spine., Rey writhes, arching her neck back. It reminds her of the suffocating feeling of living in Jakku, of waiting and waiting and waiting for parents who were never, never coming back for her. Because they didn't want to. Because she didn't matter.
Ben grips her hand. He tells her to breathe, his voice shaking. He's terrified, and yet he's with her, and they baby—Rey wants her. I want to meet you. She's not waiting or going through this agony for nothing.
Leia, Finn, Rose, Poe, and Han all arrive later, after the epidural which Ben claims has the longest needle he's ever seen is safely inserted in her spine ("your spine?" shrieks Finn) and take turns sitting with her, watching movies, talking, laughing. The day fades into nighttime, and then dawn starts to break through the clouds before the doctor tells her she's almost fully dilated and they're taking her to delivery.
Ben holds her hand. He's the only one with her, the only one she wants with her right now. Her friends wait just outside, Han and Leia with them, her family really. But Ben stands beside her, helping her bear down, wiping her forehead, telling her she's doing great. He kisses her forehead, and Rey thinks how she doesn't have to perform to earn his affection.
"You're almost there," the doctor encourages. "One more push."
Rey grist her teeth. A scream rips through the air, hers, and then fades into another scream, a squalling infant. And then Rey can't breathe, because she's crying, and she feels Ben's lips on hers, sees tears running down his face and mingling with hers.
The doctor lays the baby girl on her chest. She has tufts of Ben's dark hair, huge eyes, a tiny button nose.
We made something good.
We aren't wastes.
She thinks of all the people gathered outside. You, you won't be alone. Ben's hand strokes his daughter's head. And neither will I.