Chapter 5 – Crazy Kooky Officers
"Excuse me, Sir? I'm sorry but the Lieutenant General is not to be disturbed right now."
Roy Mustang blinked in surprise and froze just as he had entered the large, circular office.
He looked up, staring blankly at the expectant smile of a young, redheaded Private seated behind a large desk situated by the front door. Struggling to hide his growing impatience at having been stopped, Roy reluctantly lowered the two, freshly bought bouquets of carnations he held in his hands and plastered a smile on his face as he approached the grinning, redheaded soldier.
"My apologies, Private, but I'm afraid this is rather urgent. Allow me to introduce myself—"
"Brigadier General Roy Mustang, the Flame Alchemist. Yes, I know who you are, Sir. And may I say, you are definitely taller and much more handsome in person. That uniform really brings out the color of your eyes." The redhead answered with another cheeky smile, ignoring the incredulous look that Roy gave him as the Private stood up from his desk and gave him a proper salute. "My name is Private Dylan Hanz, Sir. I've just been assigned as the administrative assistant of Lieutenant General Armstrong's new team." He answered.
"At ease, Private." Roy blinked again and continued to stare in confusion at him for a few more seconds before he arched an eyebrow and decided to ignore the inkling in his head that the man may have just hit on him.
"So you're the new team secretary then?" He asked curiously, glancing around the empty office.
"Yes, Sir. This is actually my first real assignment so I'm quite excited to be working under Lieutenant General Armstrong and Lieutenant Colonel Elric." Hanz answered him with another smile and gestured around the room. "I'm here a day early to assist the Lieutenant General with the moving in of all of her stuff. The rest of the team will be arriving tomorrow so I'm making sure that all of the tables and furniture are set up by then." He added.
"I see." Roy answered him distractedly, his eyes narrowing in annoyance when he heard Edeline's name.
He ignored the uncomfortably appraising look that Hanz was not-too-discreetly sweeping down his form and took advantage of the Private's momentary distraction to inspect the newly constructed office.
I want an office like this. Roy thought to himself with a childish scowl.
He noticed that, unlike his own office, Olivier's office was a bit larger and it had two inner rooms set up – one larger one at the very back, obviously meant for Olivier, and another, much smaller office beside it. The rest of the room was still mostly bare but Roy could see that the team's desks had already been put into place, as well as the appropriate phone lines and extensions connecting each one.
Hanz' desk was situated near the very end of the room near the door, a clear indication that he was the most junior of the team in terms of rank, but also no doubt to prevent people from entering the office freely.
"Sir?"
Roy turned back to glance at Private Hanz again, noting the way he was shifting uncomfortably and nervously flicking his gaze back and forth between Roy and the slightly ajar door of the larger inner office.
"Was there anything else?" Hanz asked again, peering curiously at him.
"I'm here to see the Lieutenant General. I just need to talk to her for a few minutes." Roy decided to try a different approach as he turned back to face the Private, flashing him a wide, charming smile as he held up the two bouquets in his arms. "And besides, I also bought her these beautiful carnations. The Lieutenant General is a very big fan of flowers, you see. I'm sure she'd appreciate them in her new office." He winked at the redhead, causing Hanz to flush slightly.
"I'm sorry, Sir, but the Lieutenant General really made it quite clear that she was not to be disturbed this afternoon. Perhaps I could arrange an appointment for you tomorrow?" He offered but before he could even reach for his notebook, Roy's entire façade dropped instantly and the smile on his face began to dissolve into an impatient scowl.
"Listen here, Private!" Roy snapped, his eyes flashing in warning and narrowing into dangerous slits. "I want to speak to your Commanding Officer right now! Or would you rather I have you court martialed?!" He growled.
"I—I'm sorry, Sir!" Hanz's eyes widened nervously and he squeaked as he took a step back, accidentally bumping into his desk and causing several stacks of paper to scatter onto the floor. "But please don't take that tone with me, I'm just the secretary. And I'm afraid I really can't let you through, no matter how attractive you are—"
Without waiting for the flustered Private to finish, Roy let out an annoyed growl and pushed past him, ignoring his panicked protests as he strode into the office and began walking towards the larger, inner room.
"General Mustang, please wait! The Queen will kill me—"
The Queen, huh?
Roy held back a smirk as he registered the nickname but he ignored Hanz's protests and hurried footsteps behind him anyway as he pushed past the doors leading into Olivier's office.
He found the blonde General sitting behind her desk, which, to Roy's amusement – instead of being situated in front of the window like all the other officers – had instead been placed at the side of the room with a block of solid wall behind it. The rest of her office was already decorated with lush, elegant looking furniture, several bookshelves, and a large glass display of intricately made sabres encrusted with the Armstrong insignia. Several expensive paintings also hung off the room's white, pristine walls.
When Olivier made no move to look up from her desk despite having heard him storm noisily into the room, Roy cleared his throat loudly, forcing the blonde General to lift her gaze slowly until her ice blue eyes met his own. As usual, an annoyed scowl marred her aristocratic features and one of her eyebrows arched as she glared impassively at him, not at all looking amused by his untimely interruption.
Undaunted by her less than friendly reception, Roy flashed the Ice Queen of Briggs a wide, obnoxiously cheerful smile and strode pointedly into the room, ignoring Hanz's panicked whimpering behind him as he plopped himself down onto the seat directly in front of Olivier's desk.
"Armstrong."
"Mustang."
Olivier's voice sounded more than a little annoyed as she looked up from the thick stack of paperwork on her desk and leaned back, studying him with a cold glare. More than a little used to her famous death glares at this point throughout their professional career, the charming smile on Roy's face never even wavered.
"As much as I enjoy these useless, senseless chats with you, Mustang, I'm afraid I'm rather busy at the moment. So why don't you tell me what I can do for you?" She asked bluntly.
"Ma'am! I am so sorry! I tried to stop him!" Hanz looked as though he was about to cry as he stopped behind Roy's chair, his entire face flushed with dismay as he bowed repeatedly to Olivier. Beads of nervous sweat were continuously trickling down the side of his face.
"He wouldn't listen to me and he was so charming at first but then he just stormed in before I could—"
Olivier's scowl deepened as she rolled her eyes briefly at the ceiling and let out an annoyed, exasperated sigh.
"This is exactly why I requested for a straight male secretary." She muttered blandly to herself.
At her words, Hanz looked mortified and he bowed down again in embarrassment.
"I'm so sorry, Ma'am! It won't happen again—"
"Don't beat yourself up over it." Olivier drawled as she cast a lazy glance at him before smirking and waving him towards the doors. "Roy Mustang is a plague to all women and gay men alike. There's the door, Private."
"Yes, Ma'am!"
Hanz swallowed and gave her another nervous, shaky salute, ignoring Roy's amused smirk as he whirled around and bolted out of the room, leaving the two Generals staring at each other in awkward silence. When Roy didn't bother saying anything and continued to smile brightly at her, Olivier's eyes narrowed in annoyance.
"What do you want?" She demanded.
"You know, I really have to hand it to your new secretary." Instead of answering her question, Roy's grin widened and he gestured towards her door. "He's got guts. I think he was the first, lower ranking male to ever hit on me ever since I became a Colonel."
"You have exactly five minutes before I kick you out of my office, Mustang."
"I brought you flowers." Roy smiled innocently at the way Olivier's left eye twitched in irritation and offered her the two bouquets in his hands. "Carnations. Though, I wasn't sure which color you'd like – yellow or white."
"Neither." Olivier retorted flatly, giving him a blank glare.
"What, are they running out of women for you to hit on in those bars of yours that you're actually starting to hit on colleagues now? Sorry to disappoint you, Mustang, but you're really not my type." She drawled.
"You misunderstand me, Armstrong." Roy reddened slightly at her words and he clenched his right fist to prevent himself from snapping his fingers. "Consider this a…peace offering, slash, welcoming gift." He offered.
"Peace offering?" Olivier looked amused as she leaned forward, resting her elbows on her table and placing her chin on top of her intertwined hands. "I wasn't aware that either of us had declared war on each other, Mustang. Though I must say, if we had, I guarantee you that you wouldn't be standing right now." She smirked.
Roy began to grit his teeth and clenched his fist tighter, desperately trying to reign in his temper.
"I'm here to discuss what happened in Resembool."
"Oh?" A single blonde, slim eyebrow rose as Olivier blinked at him again, her pink lips twisting into a sneer as she gave him another impassive glare. "I didn't know you were in Resembool. I was just there myself actually."
"You know very well I wasn't, Olivier." The smile on Roy's face finally faltered and his eyes darkened with anger as he glared at her, his features twisting into a scowl. "My subordinates, however, were there and guess what? Major Hawkeye and Major Havoc told me all about how you bullied them." He accused.
"I did no such thing." There was definitely no mistaking the amusement on Olivier's face as she leaned forward again and regarded him with a cool look.
"I can't help it if your incompetent subordinates can't carry out simple instructions."
"Obviously, not if they're up against someone of higher rank."
"Care to clarify, Mustang?"
"Explain this." Roy growled as he snatched a piece of paper from one of the thick piles of paperwork on Olivier's desk and held it up to her face. Once glance at it and they both recognized it as the new organizational chart that the Fuhrer had circulated to the entire Central HQ that afternoon, detailing the new assignments and the batch of new officers who were going to reporting directly to Olivier starting tomorrow.
"Hawkeye told me about how you conscripted Edeline into your new team." Roy pointed out.
"So I did." Olivier didn't even bat an eyelash as she withdrew her impassive gaze away from the sheet of paper he held in obvious boredom. "Frankly, I don't see how that's any concern of yours, though." She pointed out.
"Why did you conscript her?" Roy demanded.
"I want people I can trust on my team." Olivier answered easily, arching an eyebrow at him in challenge. "Surely, you, of all people, can understand how important that is."
"Yes, but why Edeline?" Roy asked again, failing to hide the impatient tone in his voice.
"The Fuhrer said that I needed a State Alchemist on my team. And I wanted a good one." Olivier answered with an elegant, careless wave of a perfectly manicured hand.
"We have an entire roster of perfectly good, highly qualified State Alchemists here in Central from which you could have chosen from. Why go through all that trouble to re-enlist the Fullmetal Alchemist?" Roy persisted.
"That may be the case." Olivier looked amused at the way Roy was obviously trying very hard not to simply reach across the table and jostle the other General in his frustration. "But I wanted an exceptionally good Alchemist. One who's smart, and competent and has a lot of experience out in the field. More importantly, I wanted someone who isn't terrified of me." She answered, smirking.
"You know she can't even do alchemy anymore, right?" Roy told her pointedly. "What good would it do to hire a State Alchemist who can't actually perform alchemy?"
To his confusion, Olivier just looked particularly self-satisfied at his declaration and she simply smirked at him again, crossing her arms and leaning back smugly against her seat.
"Ignorance really does suit you, Mustang." She quipped.
"What does that mean?!" Roy's eyes narrowed at her words but before he could ask her about it any further, Olivier raised another dainty hand and waved it dismissively at him.
"Are we done here, Brigadier General? I have more important things to do with my time than to explain things to you." She drawled impatiently, flipping her long hair over her shoulder and swiveling her chair around so that Roy saw nothing but the other side of its backrest.
Roy's eyes narrowed with affronted indignation at the way she was obviously trying to dismiss him. Instead of leaving, he sneered and remained stubbornly in his seat, glaring at the back of her chair.
"Fullmetal was my subordinate, you realize." He growled.
"Your point?"
"She's mine!"
Startled by his enraged outburst, Olivier blinked and finally swiveled her seat around again to face him, giving him a strange look. She arched an eyebrow at him, watching as he fidgeted nervously in his seat.
"I beg your pardon?"
Roy realized too late how wrong his words must have sounded to the other General but before he could say anything else, his face had already flushed with embarrassment. At the strange, suspicious look that Olivier gave him, he stifled the ridiculous urge to cringe nervously and hastily corrected himself.
"What I meant was—" Roy emphasized, causing Olivier's eyebrow to arch even higher. "—if Edeline is going to enlist again, she should be back under my command and my supervision. I was the one who first found her, after all. I was the one who first recruited her and trained her. She should be with me. I'm her mentor, she already trusts me." He added with a scowl, horrified to realize that he was very close to sounding like a whiny little kid who was being denied his birthday presents.
Olivier barely even batted an eyelash at his words.
"Again, Mustang, your point is?"
"Give Fullmetal back to me." Roy finally blurted out, flashing her a disarming smile as he rifled through a few of the folders he had brought with him and laid them down onto Olivier 's desk.
"—And in exchange and as a token of my heartfelt gratitude, I'll give you all five of these brilliant State Alchemists we drafted just last year. From what I've heard, they're all very skilled and promising."
At the unimpressed glare that Olivier gave him, Roy gave her another desperately charming smile, hoping that she didn't notice the bead of sweat that rolled down the side of his face.
"See? That's more than a fair trade, don't you think? A little something we alchemists like to call – equivalent exchange." He forced out a choked, nervous laugh.
"You know I don't believe in equivalent exchange, Roy. I think it's a useless, stupid concept." Olivier answered bluntly, not even sparing a single glance at him or his folders. She swiveled her seat around again and stared up at the painting on the wall behind her in boredom. "No deal, Mustang. Now get the hell out of my office."
"Damn it, Armstrong!" Roy finally exploded and slammed his fist down against the table. "Ed is my protégé, she should be part of my team! Give her back to me!" He demanded, all but huffing as he finally lost his composure.
Olivier didn't turn back around to face him so Roy couldn't see her face but from the smugness in her voice, he could tell that there was another haughty smirk on her face when she answered.
"And yet, between the two offers that were thrown at her, she chose to be a part of my team, did she not?" Olivier pointed out. "You forget that she's not exactly a child anymore, Mustang. Maybe she's finally decided that she wants to work under a real leader for a change."
With that, Olivier finally stood up, exuding a powerful grace that all other women – or men for that matter – could only ever hope to achieve and began walking towards the door.
"Now if you don't mind, I think you've wasted quite enough of my time as it is and I have an important meeting with the Fuhrer to prepare for so…" She didn't bother finishing her sentence but instead, reached her hand out and pulled open the doors, gesturing for him to leave the room.
"I'll listen to your whining some other time, Mustang."
"Armstrong." Roy growled and leaned back stubbornly against the backrest of his seat, rested his ankle on his knee and raised one of his hands up, his thumb and pointer finger prepared to snap.
"I am not leaving this office until you give me back my protégé. Now, unless you want all these precious paintings on your walls to be incinerated into ashes, then I suggest you give me back Edeline now."
"You know I don't take kindly to threats, Flame Alchemist."
"Then maybe you should consider—"
Before Roy could even finish his sentence, Olivier had already stalked across the room. Another split second later, the blonde General had unsheathed her sabre and had its gleaming, sharp end pointing at his throat.
More out of panic than anything else, Roy yelped and he did end up snapping his fingers in an effort to defend himself but even as the flames ignited in the air, Olivier just smirked and used her sabre to slash them all away. As soon as the fire had cleared, leaving nothing but smoke in their wake, Roy found himself, once again, with a sharp end of a pointed sword scraping painfully at his neck.
His eyes widened and he stood up from his seat slowly, raising his hands up in surrender.
"Like I said—" Roy let his voice trail off and he gulped, giving her a nervous smile. "—I was just leaving."
When Olivier scoffed and re-sheathed her sabre back into its holster, Roy cast a quick glance over his shoulder at the carnations he had brought and scowled as he bent down, snatched his folders back up and then taking the white bouquet of flowers back.
"Maybe just the yellow carnations for you then." He grumbled under his breath.
"Great, just leave them there on my desk." Olivier smirked knowingly at him, causing Roy's eyes to narrow as he watched her settle back into her chair and cross her legs.
"I'll be sure to look at them and remember my particular disdain for you, Mustang."
Roy's eyes widened when he realized that she knew exactly what the flowers had meant.
Before Olivier could say anything else, he shot the blonde General another miffed, indignant glare before he scowled and stalked out of the room.
Roy glowered to himself as he stormed down the corridor leading back to his office, unknowingly scaring the few lower-ranking soldiers whom he passed when they caught sight of the murderous expression on the Flame Alchemist's face.
As he turned a sharp corner, he caught sight of an innocent looking Sheska making her way back to the archives building with a large piece of bread caught in her mouth. When she saw him, Roy froze mid-stride and absentmindedly stalked over to her, shoving the white bouquet of carnations he held into her hands.
"Here. Take these." He grunted, inadvertently causing the brown-haired archivist's face to flush a deep, dark red.
Sheska stammered as she took the carnations from him, the bread in her mouth dropping listlessly to the floor.
"G—General? Thank you but I don't think—"
"Don't thank me." Roy cut her off impatiently, waving her nervous stammers away.
"They're from Sergeant Major Fuery. He thinks you're very pretty, you should ask him out." He didn't bother waiting for the blushing archivist to answer as he walked around her fidgeting form and continued making his way down the corridor towards his office.
When he got there, Roy didn't bother hiding his anger as he stormed noisily into the large room, slamming the door shut noisily behind him and causing the rest of his crew to look up from their desks in surprise at his dramatic entrance. Fuery and Falman, who were both seated at the far end of the room, both noticed the irate expression on the General's face and immediately glanced back down but the rest of Roy's crew stared curiously at him, obviously curious as to what had set their Commanding Officer off this time.
"Chief! You're back!" Havoc called out to him from where he had tilted his chair back and was resting his feet up on his desk. He brought the stick of cigarette he held between his fingers up to his lips and took a long whiff. "Hey, would you happen to know a good restaurant to take a woman out for an 'I'm sorry' date?" He asked.
"Truth's sake, man! You had another fight with that girlfriend of yours?" Breda blurted out from the desk beside his, glancing over his shoulder to give Jean a disapproving glare. "I'm telling you, that woman is evil! Break up with her already while you still can!" He quipped.
Roy ignored their antics as he stormed into the middle of the office and stopped in front of Hawkeye's desk, scowling petulantly at her and causing the blonde woman to pause in the middle of her phone conversation so that she could slowly lift her gaze to meet his.
"Sir?"
"Olivier Armstrong is nothing but a big, mean bully!" His angry voice had cracked just a bit when he spoke, and judging from the way Havoc and Breda snickered behind him, he knew they had noticed it.
To his dismay, Hawkeye looked more than a little irritated at his outburst as she turned back to the phone and politely excused herself from her conversation. Then, after she had hung up, she closed her eyes, counted to three, took a deep inhale of breath, then let out a long suffering sigh.
She finally turned back around and gave him a patient, expectant look.
"Exactly what did she do this time, Sir?" Hawkeye asked patiently.
"She won't give me back my protégé!" Roy blurted out; shrinking back at the patronizing look she was giving him.
When Hawkeye's only response was to blink and raise an eyebrow at him, he scowled again and pointed accusingly at both her and Havoc.
"Don't look at me like that, this is your fault, you know. Both of you!" He growled, causing Havoc to wince and give him a sheepish smile. "None of this would have happened if you had just brought Ed back with you like I ordered you to!"
"Hey, it wasn't our fault!" Havoc protested and in his panic, his cigarette slipped from his mouth and fell to his table. "General Armstrong arrived and all but kicked us out of the room! That woman is terrifying, Sir! What were we supposed to do?" He pointed out.
"Oh I don't know, you could have…fought back?" Roy retorted sarcastically.
"Would you have fought back against Olivier Armstrong?" Havoc challenged.
At Roy's begrudgingly silent response, Havoc leaned back against his seat and smirked smugly at him. Beside his desk, Breda and Falman also looked as though they were trying to stifle their smiles behind their hand.
"Ugh. You're all just…everyone get back to work!" Roy barked huffily at them.
Before Havoc could say anything else, he handed the folders he held back to Hawkeye and whirled around, sauntering back into his office. He was just about to slam the door back shut when Hawkeye called out to him again, causing Roy to grumble in annoyance and peek his head back out to glance at her.
"What is it?" He snapped.
"Sir, don't forget. We still have to recruit a State Alchemist into the team."
"Weren't you listening, Major? I just said that Ed's out! Armstrong won't let her go." He growled impatiently.
"Sir, if I may." The clear annoyance in Hawkeye's voice was carefully controlled as she sighed again and gave him an exasperated look. "I should point out, again, that Ed is not the only State Alchemist in Amestris." She told him, gesturing to the folders on her desk.
"Fine." Roy grouched, eyeing the folders in obvious distaste. "Go through those, interview them, and find me the best one. Afterwards,schedule an interview with me. Use the same qualifications." He instructed.
Hawkeye stared back at him in disbelief and sighed, shaking her head. "Sir, Ed is the only one who fits those qualifications! You set a really high standard for the written exam score, remember?!" She protested.
"Then you'll just have to find me another one just as good then don't you, Major?" Roy snapped back irritably, ignoring the incredulous look she gave him as he turned around and walked back into his office. He didn't bother waiting for Hawkeye's answer before he finally yanked the door shut.
As soon as he was engulfed in the darkness of his office, Roy's hand automatically reached for the light switch and flicked it on; breathing a sigh of relief a few seconds later as soon as the bright white light illuminated his empty office. Turning around, his gaze flicked instinctively to the mirror on the wall adjacent to his door and he froze, staring intently at his own reflection.
His own narrowed onyx eyes stared back at him and Roy thought to himself, for perhaps the thousandth time since the Promised Day, how thankful he was that he wasn't blind anymore. In a surprising turn of events, Dr. Marcoh had used the last of his remaining philosopher's stone and had given him back his eyesight, as well as given Havoc back the use of his legs.
Despite the fact that everything had worked out, however, the events that had transpired during the Promised Day had still traumatized Roy in more ways than one. He could barely wake up in the morning now without frantically snapping his eyes open and checking to make sure that he still had his vision.
Truth be told, he had only been blind for a few days – a few days of infinite blackness where he had nothing but the sound of his own shallow breathing to comfort him - but those days had burned themselves into his memory so much that he had actually developed an irrational fear of the dark.
He hadn't told anybody about it, not even Riza or Jean, because frankly, it was humiliating.
And just how attractive is that? A Flame Alchemist and Brigadier General, terrified of the dark. Roy scoffed to himself before he strode over to his desk, sinking down into his chair with a loud, exhausted sigh.
Reaching for his pen, he was just about to get started on his paperwork for the day when he heard a soft knock on his door, causing Roy to look up again just in time to see Hawkeye pop her head into the room.
"Sir? I have a Sofia on the phone for you. She's asking if you're free to have dinner tonight."
Roy blinked and gave her a blank look.
"Who's Sofia again?"
Hawkeye sighed and reached up to massage the bridge of her nose in exasperation.
"The woman you went to dinner with last night, Sir."
"Oh right." Roy fought the urge to make a face at that and promptly turned back to his paperwork, raising a hand and shooing her away. "Why don't you just go ahead and make up something for me, Major." He told her.
"General." Hawkeye's eyes narrowed dangerously as she stepped further into his room. She gave him a warning glare and crossed her arms over her chest. "I don't quite recall lying as being part of my job description—"
"Pleeease!" Roy whined loudly, looking up from his desk again and giving her an imploring look.
"Tell her I'll be busy for the next three months or something! Or that I'm being transferred down to South HQ! Just…tell her anything to put her off. She drove me crazy last night!" He groaned.
To his relief, the annoyed expression on Hawkeye's face finally melted away into an amused smirk. Her lips twitched at his dramatic reaction and she rolled her eyes at him, giving him a sympathetic look.
"Was she that dull?" She asked.
"Worse." Roy answered, wincing. "She was stupid. You know how much I hate dating stupid women." He shuddered. "There's nothing worse than being with a woman with nothing between the ears."
"Riiight." Hawkeye obliged him with another knowing smirk and rolled her eyes fondly at him before she turned and exited the room again, leaving Roy alone with his thoughts once more.
As soon as she was gone and his attention became preoccupied with the stacks of documents on his desk, Roy soon found his mind wandering.
Once again, he found himself thinking about his failed, short-lived relationship with Riza and much he was grateful that the initial uneasiness and awkwardness around them following their breakup was finally beginning to slip away. Granted, he knew that they still tiptoed carefully around each other when no one else was around, mostly to avoid saying anything uncomfortable, but at least the anger and tension from before were gone. Now, it was mostly just them trying to fall back into the old working relationship they had before they had started dating.
It wasn't easy at first, especially considering how terrifyingly fasttheir relationship had started and ended.
After six months of awkward dating and them struggling to get past that unforgiving threshold between friendship and love, everything had just gone to hell.
Roy was willing to admit that it was mostly his fault.
He had just been newly promoted to Brigadier General at that time, and with him struggling to adjust to all of his new responsibilities and with how Edeline leaving had severely handicapped the crew, forcing Mustang to handle all alchemy-related matters his team had to deal with on his own, he just became too busy for a relationship.
It certainly didn't help that Riza was just as much of a workaholic as he was.
Many times during the earlier stages of their relationship, while they were in the middle of a dinner date or a romantic night out, Roy would suddenly think of something work-related and before he could stop himself, he would start asking Riza questions about it. And, of course, being the highly competent and invaluable subordinate that she was, she would automatically answer.
Looking back, it was rather appalling, really, how they found it so needlessly difficult to separate their work from the romantic part of their relationship.
The day he saw her crying was the day they broke up, and Roy hated himself with a vengeance.
He had never wanted to hurt her.
Riza had always been someone very dear to him, and as far back as Roy could remember, he had always cared very deeply about her, especially after her father entrusted her wellbeing to him before he died.
But he just didn't love her that way.
Roy thought about how much easier it all could have been if he had just fallen in love with her like he was probably supposed to, or how their lives would have been much simpler if neither of them had chosen to stay in the military but sadly, he knew that nothing was ever really meant to be that easy.
With a heavy sigh, he set his pen down briefly onto his desk and frowned as he thought again about what had happened the night he and Riza broke up.
Roy had just come from a meeting with the Fuhrer and a few Generals that evening when he remembered that he was supposed to meet her for dinner. When he got to the restaurant, however, and he saw her sitting across from him, noting the way she was barely able to reign in her tears, he knew instantly that it was over.
They both left the restaurant alone and Roy spent the rest of the night drowning himself with scotch in his house, desperate to wash away the bitter aftertaste that lingered in his mouth.
And then, when he was sufficiently drunk enough, Roy did something even more stupid.
He picked up his phone and called Edeline's house in Resembool.
At the time, it had barely been a year since she had left his team but Roy was ashamed to admit that she occupied his thoughts more often than what would probably be considered healthy, especially after she had kissed him that day she left. He didn't even remember what he had been thinking about that night, he just had this sudden, insane desire to hear her voice, and so, drunkenly, he dialed.
It took three rings before Alphonse picked up the phone but when Roy asked, or rather slurred, if he could talk to his sister, Alphonse sounded surprised and told him that Edeline was in Xing. Then, after Alphonse promised to let his sister know that Roy had called for her, he slurred a quick 'thank you' to the young alchemist and slowly hung up the phone.
He was disappointed but he supposed that not being able to talk to her was probably a good thing. Truth only knows what he would have ended up saying if Edeline had been the one to pick up the phone.
That following morning, however, after Roy had woken up to a massive hangover and he was readying himself to trudge to the office with his uniform unkempt and his jaw unshaven, his phone rang and the obnoxiously loud voice that greeted him when he answered it was one that he hadn't spoken to in almost a year.
Flashback
'Good morning, Colonel Bastard!'
"Fullmetal? Is that you?" Roy blinked and began to smile in spite of himself, ignoring his throbbing headache as he sat back down onto the couch in front of his fireplace. "I wasn't expecting to talk to you this morning."
'Well what did you expect, you idiot? Al contacted me and told me you called last night.' Came her blunt, cheeky reply. 'I'm sorry I forgot to tell you but I'm actually in Xing right now. In fact, I think I'll be here for awhile.'
"In Xing?" Roy frowned at that as he leaned back against his couch and raised a hand to his jaw, absentmindedly running his fingers over his morning stubble. "What exactly are you doing in Xing, Ed?" He asked.
'I'm learning about alkahestry, obviously.' Edeline answered, and though Roy couldn't see her, he knew she was rolling her eyes. 'Ling invited me. I'm actually staying with him now at the palace. Oh, by the way! The cuisine here is fucking awesome! Ling's been taking me to a lot of these really amazing restaurants—'
"Ling?" Roy asked again, trying desperately to keep up with the conversation despite the way his head was spinning.
'Yeah, Ling. You remember him right? That annoying, Xingese idiot who was with me when I was swallowed by Gluttony. Ugh, that was a fucking disgusting experience by the way. I never want to do that ever again.'
Roy was about to answer when he heard another, slightly muffled male voice over the other line, inadvertently causing his hand to tighten around the receiver. He frowned, listening intently to the sound of Edeline cursing and arguing loudly with the other male for a few seconds before she resumed their conversation.
'Sorry about that, that was Ling. He was being an annoying pervert again. Anyway, as I was saying, the food here is really good. You should think about visiting sometime.'
"Yeah no thanks, Fullmetal." Roy answered snippily, trying in vain to ignore the unfamiliar sting of jealousy that was strangely nagging his chest at her words. "I don't have time to travel right now, I'm very busy." He told her.
'Suit yourself. Oh yeah, before I forget!'
Roy heard the teasing smile in her voice as she spoke her next words.
'Happy birthday!'
Despite the throbbing migraine that was threatening to split his head into two, a warm, genuine smile began to form slowly on Roy's face.
"You remembered."
'Of course I did!' Ed huffed, sounding annoyed. 'I even have it marked on my calendar. Do you really think I'd miss an opportunity to make fun of how old you are?' She quipped.
Roy rolled his eyes to himself at that but the smile on his face remained as he closed his eyes and fell back against his couch, contenting himself with the sound of her energetic voice.
'Just how old are you anyway, old man?'
"I'm not an old man, Ed. I'm only 32."
'Holy shit, you're ancient!'
"Shut up." Roy's left eye twitched in mild annoyance when he heard her exaggerated gasp. "You can make fun of me all you want but remember. You'll reach my age someday, and then I'll be calling you ancient." He teased.
'Yeah but then again, you'd be 47 by then so in return, I can still make fun of you for being even more ancient. You'd be like…an ancient fossil.' She retorted.
"Shut up."
Roy began chuckling when he heard her laughter on the other end of the line, and there was a warm, strangely fuzzy feeling stirring in the pit of his stomach.
"Sassy brat."
'You know it.'
He heard the same male voice speaking to her again in the background and Roy listened as Ed answered, her voice a barely audible murmur, before she came back and spoke up in an apologetic tone.
"Anyway, listen. I have to go.'
"Was that Ling again?" Roy found himself asking before he could even think about his reaction.
'Yeah, he wants to introduce me to some of his half-brothers and sisters.'
"I see." Roy answered, and he was dismayed when he realized that he didn't want her to hang up just yet. "Please send him my regards." He managed to force out in a polite voice.
'Will do. Anyway, thanks for calling, Colonel Bastard. Say hi to Hawkeye and the others for me."
Roy debated briefly with himself on whether or not he should correct her and tell her his new rank but he eventually decided against it. His rank wouldn't matter to Edeline anyway; she would still call him a bastard.
"I will. Oh, and Fullmetal?"
There was another brief pause on the other line before he heard Ed's voice speak up again.
'Yeah?'
Roy's fingers tightened slowly around the phone in his hand.
"Thanks for remembering."
End Flashback
There were too many questions that his telephone conversation with Edeline had left unanswered in his head.
Roy had never exactly been a jealous man before – not even with Riza. He had always thought of jealousy as a petty and immature emotion, certainly one that had no place in someone as confident and self-assured about himself as he was. In fact, most other men were usually jealous of him, and he remembered how he often made fun of people like Breda and Havoc whenever they were having one of their little jealous episodes.
So why exactly was he jealous now?
He and Edeline had never even been in a relationship.
All that had really happened between them was that brief kiss she had sprung on him before she left, and even then, it had been probably just been some silly little experiment for her. Roy seriously doubted that she meant anything serious by it, and at that time, he had even been with Riza for Truth's sake. And as if that wasn't bad enough, barely even a day after he and Riza had broken up, and he was already more concerned about his jealousy over the fact that his former subordinate was spending a lot of time in another country with another man.
What the hell is wrong with me?
Roy paused in the middle of affixing his signature on yet another hastily skimmed document and groaned, leaning back against his seat and using a hand to massage the bridge of his nose.
In the months that followed after his breakup with Riza, he dated a few more women every now and then, but none of them really lasted long. A lot of them he had met in bars whenever Havoc and Breda invited him for a few drinks after work, but they were never anything serious – most never even made it past one dinner date.
Though he did bring some of them home with him, particularly on those nights when he was feeling lonely, sadly, it never really helped. When Roy woke up the morning after with someone in his bed, he usually felt even more alone than ever.
"Sir?"
At the unexpected interruption, Roy reluctantly set his pen back down onto the table.
"Yes, Major?"
"Lieutenant Colonel Armstrong is here to see you."
Roy tried not to groan as he grimaced and massaged his temples.
"Let him in."
He didn't have to wait long before the huge, hulking frame of none other than Alex Louis Armstrong entered his office, immediately causing Roy to blink and grimace when he saw that the other man, as usual, wasn't wearing a shirt and was flaunting his gigantically muscular body for the whole world to see.
"Really, Alex." Roy greeted the other man sarcastically as he watched him take the seat across from his.
"Is it too much to ask you to wear a shirt every now and then?" He pointed out.
"Oh. Sorry about that." Alex had the temerity to look a little embarrassed as he glanced down at his bursting pectorals. "I hadn't realized I wasn't wearing one, I had just come from the training room." He admitted.
Roy fought the urge to roll his eyes but raised a curious eyebrow when Alex just gave him an overly ecstatic smile. He reached a large hand out and placed a white, intricately designed envelope on Roy's desk.
"I just dropped by to give you and your crew your invitations to my wedding." He announced happily, waiting until Roy reluctantly opened the envelope and read through its contents. "It'll be held in our family's estate."
"If I didn't say it before, I'll say it again." Roy told him as he read the event details printed on the invitation. "You have my sincerest congratulations, Lieutenant Colonel. She's a very lucky lady."
"That she is." Alex agreed proudly, puffing his chest up and flexing his muscles in his excitement. "She's marrying an Armstrong, after all. Which reminds me." He slanted his gaze and deliberately gave Roy a pointed look. "I'd like to see you settled down yourself, Mustang. I mean, neither of us is getting any younger, you realize."
"Yeah great. Thanks for that." Roy drawled sarcastically, shaking his head in disbelief as he set the invitation aside. "Maybe you should lay off me and focus your attention on getting your older sister a boyfriend for a change. That way, she'll stop making my life miserable." Roy grumbled under his breath.
Alex gave him a mildly curious look at that and Roy sighed loudly, giving the other alchemist a helpless smirk.
"How's Olivier enjoying her first day back in Central?"
"She misses Briggs but she was happy to take the position." Alex shrugged nonchalantly at him. "Her team is complete and they'll be reporting in to her the first thing tomorrow morning." He told him.
"She took my precious protégé away from me." Roy grumbled under his breath.
"Fullmetal?" Alex looked genuinely surprised at that. "I thought she couldn't do alchemy anymore." He mused.
"I thought so too but Olivier doesn't seem to care and conscripted her anyway."
"Ah well." To his annoyance, Alex just shrugged and smiled at him, his blue eyes alight with warmth. "In any case, it'll be good to have Edeline back here in Central with us at least. She was always such a sweet girl."
"A sweet girl?" Roy coughed and blinked rapidly a couple of times, staring at the larger man as though he had sprouted an extra limb. "We are talking about the same Elric sibling here, right? The older one? The one with the horrible potty mouth and fiery temper? You might be thinking of Alphonse there, Lieutenant Colonel." He smirked, calling to mind all of the interesting curse names that Edeline used to call him back then – her favorites being Colonel Bastard, Colonel Asshole, Colonel Useless, and Colonel Shit-head.
At least she bothers including my rank in her insults. Roy thought wryly to himself.
He swore that girl cursed so much that one of these days; he was definitely going to wash her mouth out with soap and water.
"Well, personally, I always found her sweet." Alex shrugged and smiled knowingly at him again.
There was another soft knock on the door that suddenly drew their attention, halting the rest of their conversation. A few seconds later, Roy heard Hawkeye's familiar voice calling out to him from outside his office.
"Sir?"
"What is it now, Hawkeye?"
There was a brief pause on the other side of the door for a moment before Hawkeye spoke again, causing Roy's eyebrows to shoot up when he heard the obvious amusement in her voice.
"Ed is here to see you."
Notes: And of course, every story from me will always have a cliffhanger. ;)
I don't know why, but in my headcanon, I can totally imagine Roy developing this irrational fear of the dark after he was blind for a couple of days. And come on admit it, the idea of Roy being afraid of the dark is adorable. ;)
Ed's POV in the next chapter. It'll probably include a bit more flashbacks, and maybe some background on what happened between her and Ling. I love Ling by the way, he's so cute! If I didn't want Roy and fem Ed to be together so much, I'd ship her with Ling. ;)