A/N: Holy crap. This dragged on far longer than I really intended. Too many plot bunnies popped up as I was writing the piece so blame them! I hope it wouldn't be a tedious chapter to read. (It's full of RoyAi so I guess it won't be that tedious?). Again, thank you for the views and follows! I would be grateful if you let me know what you think. x
Riza was thankful that her team's commitment to their goal was solid and fierce. After introducing her ideas of Ishval's restoration, they had gone on to discuss both major and minor details further, which occupied the rest of their morning.
Rebecca had cornered her to have lunch with her and Maria in the mess hall so her initial plan of checking up on Roy during midday was unknowingly thwarted by her subordinates. When they had arrived, the Colonel spotted no traces of the Brigadier General nor his team.
She had then reached the conclusion that they were having a working lunch, a common occurrence when she was away from the office before. The team was no doubt undergoing a difficult transition phase without her breathing down their necks to fulfil the work they needed to accomplish. It was going to be a long journey ahead of Team Mustang but she was sure they would tough it all out.
The evening found Hawkeye working on the documents that she had brought home after her team's discussion and initial planning. She had sent Brosh, Heinkel, and Darius that afternoon to tap on people whose expertise they needed in order to aid the re-establishment of Ishval.
Riza found it calming to go through their reports that evening, the ingredients of her would-have-been dinner lay forgotten on the kitchen counter. Finding that the mundane task will leave her alone with her thoughts, she decided to forgo dinner since it will no doubt force her to think about things she couldn't face just yet…such as Roy and his words earlier, along with his behaviour since she broke the news of her reassignment following her rank promotion.
The small stack of papers was doing a great job in putting her mind away from things she can't indulge in just yet. To say that her mind was feeling a myriad of emotions was an understatement. There was a flurry of feelings that threatened to break out from their hypothetical box in her mind. She needed the distraction of work to keep them at bay.
However, she knew she couldn't run away from them forever. Riza understood that, eventually, she would have to confront Roy about their relationship if he does not do it first. Shaking her head, she took a pen and began to plot out the framework of their mission.
The Colonel was far too engrossed in her work that the knocking on her door made her jump slightly. For a trained soldier hardened by war and battle, she reprimanded herself silently for letting her guard down even though she was inside her home. Sighing, she grabbed her loaded pistol and poised to release the gun's safety.
"Who's there?" she asked, her voice firm as she approached her door.
What she didn't expect was that all-too familiar voice, which she had witnessed mature from its croaky pubertal quality to its manly gruff characteristic, that responded to her question. "It's me."
Her usually steady hand faltered on their place around her gun and she ceased her aim, setting the weapon down on the counter. Riza couldn't understand why she was nervous all of a sudden since this wasn't an uncommon thing to happen. Roy usually drops by her residence unannounced, and this has been going on for years now.
She could almost feel the spectating silence from the other side of the door before his voice broke it once more. "Taisa?"
Swallowing her emotions, she steeled her face a little and then opened the door. "Junshou. What brings you here tonight?"
Try as she might, she couldn't read the expression in his face. It annoyed the colonel because she usually has it spot on, whatever emotion he has or whatever thought he may be running in his mind. It was why they communicated effectively even through silence. They know each other well enough and long enough to have precise deductions regarding the other.
However, this was a side to them both that they have not shown to each other. Or maybe they have, just that this facet to their personality has long been slumbering underneath every misfortune that they had to go through thus far. Riza could almost taste the irony of the situation on her tongue. What she didn't know, however, was that he was in the same state of struggle as she was.
Roy blinked and then shifted her gaze from her face to the side frame of her doorway. In his silence, he slapped himself and swallowed his spinelessness as if it were an unpleasant pill rammed down his throat. Vaguely, he remembers Catalina's annoying voice telling him he was so selfish for being such a coward. Willing to not waste any more time, Roy cleared his throat.
"May I talk with you, Taisa?" he asked, finally gaining the nerve to look at her straight.
Riza nodded silently and stepped away from the door, a silent invite for him to come and make himself at home. Roy was pleased that he could at least understand that, and he made his way to her sofa where Hayate was lounging with his favoured chew toy.
The Brigadier General didn't need to look into the kitchen to know that Riza was preparing tea for them and probably using it as a diversion to gather her thoughts. He couldn't blame her, though, so he let her be for now and instead went on to give Black Hayate a tender, affectionate scratching.
After a few minutes of mildly uncomfortable silence, the whistle of the kettle blew as if it were an alarm to signify that their period of contemplation was over and it was now time to face whatever it was that they were avoiding both consciously and subconsciously.
Roy watched Riza as she gracefully set down the tray containing their tea, like she always does whenever he comes over to her place. He offered her a small smile of gratitude to which she nodded, before taking a cup and revelling in the warmth that the polished porcelain offers.
Riza was the one to break their silence. "You mentioned a conversation, Junshou?"
"Roy…"
"What?"
"I request for you to call me by my name. I hardly think we need any more of this farce of a formality between us especially now…"
The blonde colonel pursed her lips. "Likewise, then."
Roy hummed briskly before he downed all the contents of his cup in one go, paying no heed to the possibly-scalding heat of the liquid passing through his throat. He had suffered far worse burns than that in the past. Sighing heavily, he set the cup back to the tray and clenched his fists hard while he gritted his teeth, eyes looking down to the floor.
"Damn it. Why are we this way, Riza?" he asked harshly, but his voice was not more than a whisper. "For the longest time, it seems that whatever divine power out there brings us together even if we part, whether it be a short or a long duration. We've known each other for the longest time but we can't even sort this out."
His eyes closed after his outburst, and the flame alchemist didn't see the frown on her face, nor did he see the way she uncomfortably shifted on her seat before she stood up and knelt in front of him. He felt her hands on his fists, and they were gentle despite the horrors they caused. "It's because we're gluttons for punishment, Roy-kun, and we're also stubborn creatures of habit."
Roy-kun. It has been more than just a decade since she last called him that. Hearing his name upon her lips after so long a time released some of the tension he was feeling that his fists loosened so that he could take her hands in his. While he was overjoyed that she acquiesced with his request, he listened as she spoke once more.
Riza ignored the warmth that his hands emanated for now. "I think we both hoped that we could resolve this with silence, like we do most things. And that…and that we will endure it no matter how long it takes if it meant not using words but—"
"But this is something else, something we need to actually talk about…" he murmured, finishing her thought for her.
"I believe so," she sighed.
Roy chuckled bitterly before he composed himself. "So what now?"
"Now," Riza started gently. "We are of liberty to do anything as we please."
Closing his eyes for a few seconds once more, the flame alchemist took a huge gulp of air before he slid from the sofa to join Riza as she knelt on the floor. He let his chocolate-coloured eyes to look directly into her honeyed orbs, fixing his serious gaze.
"Then…allow me to marry you."
One second turned to two, two turned to three until the longest hand of the clock struck eleven times after Roy voiced his proposition. For the man, however, it seemed like those seconds were actually days, weeks even.
Riza wasn't doing much better. She felt all air become constricted in her throat and she swayed lightly because of it. For the few moments that she was silent, she was sure her face mirrored her shock perfectly with her jaw slackened and her eyes wider than they usually are. There was no way she could have misheard him, though.
"…What?" she squeaked, her throat loosening some of the air in order for her to utilize. Riza looked from side to side before they settled on their twined hands but even that was a little too much to look at. So, her gaze settled on her lap.
Beads of cold sweat immediately formed on the alchemist's temples while his whole body couldn't decide whether it felt far too warm or far too cold. Certainly, it wasn't the reaction he had expected from her. Then again, he wasn't exactly expecting to be carried by his emotions enough to propose to her like that. Roy smacked himself mentally but he knew there was no going back now.
His mind began to run wildly and the barrier between his brain and mouth dissolved, causing him to ramble. "Un-Unless of course it's something you don't want to do and I would perfectly understand that. It was foo-foolish of me to-to…t-to spring that to you all of a sudden and—"
"Roy, shut up."
His eyebrows knotted and he gulped down, daring to look at her. Even if her head were bowed down, Roy could see the small smile that threatened to expand. The brigadier general felt her hands squeeze him and it was more than enough to convey her response to his proposal. He squeezed her hands in return.
Roy felt all the previous tension finally leave his body, being replaced by an overwhelming sensation. His teeth ground against each other and his lips quivered as he struggled to keep it all together. Unfortunately, his restraint has its limits and while he didn't wish to, he surrendered himself to his sentiments.
A laugh escaped him and he tumbled forward as his control gave out. His face fell into their entwined hands and he sniffed, clutching her tighter. Roy could not bring himself to care if he looked pathetic at the moment. What matters now was that they've irreversibly torn the barriers between them.
Riza could only watch as he struggled to contain himself, only to give in when it looked like it physically hurt for him to control whatever it was that wished to take over him. She was confused for a moment before she felt her hands get wet. A gentle smile then formed on her lips as she watched him rise from his position.
When she saw his face again, she huffed out a breath and allowed herself to shed tears after years of not permitting herself of doing so. However, they weren't caused by anger, guilt, or grief. In fact, she felt her chest ease even though her heartbeat raced.
"Rain could be a good thing, too, huh?" she queried softly.
The flame alchemist clicked his tongue and then chuckled as he wiped his eyes. His gaiety was cut short by acid threatening to spill from his mouth. Roy's whole body lurched and his face winced slightly as he kept the sour liquid from rising from his stomach.
At first, Riza was worried but then the symptoms he was displaying at the moment were familiar. She sighed in annoyance and shook her head. Way to ruin a moment… Standing up, she helped her now-fiancé to his feet and lead him to the bathroom so he could empty his stomach.
"You're an idiot for thinking your stomach can handle alcohol without food," she mumbled, unable to resist lecturing him. "How much did you have?"
"Not important," he grunted out before his face met the hollow porcelain bowl. Roy sighed in relief after letting it all out, finding Riza's hand patting his back comforting like always.
The colonel handed him a glass of water to drink. "Let's get you to bed. Take a nap and I'll fix us something for dinner."
Roy squeezed her hand in thanks as he laid down on her bed. "You're always taking care of me. When will I ever get to take care of you?"
"We have a lifetime ahead to figure out. Although if it were just me, I think you've been taking care of me since you fixed my scraped knees when we run down the hill during that one summer. D'you remember? It was the first time I injured myself without my mother to patch me up. For a moment, I thought I was going to bleed to death because of the old wives' tales about germs and infections. Thankfully that didn't happen because you cleaned the wound and dressed it properly…
"I get the same feeling every time you've protect me during our heists in the past years…that familiar feeling of being completely secure," she explained.
Roy felt a pleasant pinch on his chest at her words. "I'm glad."
"Sleep for a while, Roy-kun," she said softly, laying a hand on his cheek. "I'll wake you up later."
She sits awhile beside him on the bed, just content in watching the steady rise and fall of his chest. Her eyes were soft as his breaths currently were and a small smile was affixed to her lips as if she were always used to showing her mellow side to anyone (but him) for prolonged periods of time.
Riza had finished making food for them both and chose to spend the quiet to appreciate the man laying down on her bed. It was a sight that seemed so farfetched but what she sees now is indicative of its reality. Leaning a little, she placed a hand on his shoulder to nudge him gently awake. She couldn't help but appreciate the strong muscles there while they were in contact.
Roy groaned awake, though he felt much better now than half an hour before. He blinked the sleep from his eyes away before sitting up and rubbing them with care. Taking a moment to look at Riza, he grinned lopsidedly. "You're a sight I wouldn't mind waking up to every morning."
A bit of warmth flooded her cheeks at his words. Riza smiled, her next words of warning light and playful. "I appreciate your silver tongue, Mr. Mustang, but don't think you're safe from a berating regarding your drinking session earlier."
Pouting, Roy narrowed his eyes. "I already learned my lesson through spewing my guts into your toilet. Shouldn't that be enough?"
Riza harrumphed and stood, making her way to the kitchen. She felt Roy got up to his feet and follow him. Setting the hearty noodle soup that she made them on the centre coaster, she instructed Roy to set the table and made herself comfortable on her chair. The couple said their pleasantries and tuck into their food.
"How was your first day as a commanding officer?" he asked, duly curious. Save for their interaction that morning, they didn't have the chance to speak to each other once more throughout the day.
"Productive," she replied, slurping on her spoon gracefully. "I have Rebecca, Ross, Brosh, Heinkel, and Darius under me. It was easier than I had expected it to be especially with encouraging their participation for our unit's mission."
Roy stopped his eating and had his attention fully dedicated to her. "Which is?"
"To lead the Ishval restoration."
A chill went up his spine and Roy couldn't place whether it was good or bad. Revisiting Ishval was sure to be an ordeal difficult for everyone involved during that so-called war but he knew that it would be harder for her…she who actually saw the faces of the people she killed through the scope of her rifle.
Then again, Roy was sure Riza would accomplish this mission she had chosen just like she had accomplished any mission he had assigned to her in the past. His mind went back to the conversation they had when he saw her burying the remains of an Ishvalan child.
Her grief and regret over what she had done still haunted her to this day, he knew. And the look she had at that moment haunted him, in turn. Then again, the pair of them knew that they needed to move forward, but not to forget. Roy understood that this was Riza wanting to at least contribute something positive to the future of the land and its people, since she cannot change the past.
"Once again, you never fail to astound me, Riza," he said softly, taking her hand. "My unit and I will be fully supporting you and yours, and we shall offer our services…however useful we may be."
Riza smiled, remembering the words her grandfather told her a couple of days ago. He will be your greatest support just as you are his. Loathe as she is to admit, her grandfather was right in that aspect (and probably so many others but she was too stubborn to accept them). "Thank you, Roy-kun."
Their dinner went by quickly over conversations of her team's initial plans regarding Ishval, and Riza was thankful that he could pick his brain for another input. Roy offered to wash the dishes and she let him, popping into the shower to get ready for the night. After cleaning up the kitchen, the two stumbled upon their first disagreement. As a couple, at least.
Roy had insisted to go home not wanting to impose and overstay his welcome.
"Out of the question," Riza said as she dried her hair with an electric fan. "Your stomach could act up again in the middle of the night and I know you well enough that you'd just sleep it off."
The flame alchemist clicked his tongue and crossed his arms. "I am a grown man. I can take care of myself if the situation calls for it."
The colonel snorted and rolled her amber-hued eyes. "Hardly. You couldn't even stop yourself from downing three glasses of whiskey with no food in your stomach."
"That's cheating."
"Tch. Cheating? You're being childish, Roy."
Glaring at her, Roy was about to retort but she cut him off with a raised hand and a smirk.
"What are you so hesitant about staying the night?"
He kept his glare, though he did loosen up a bit. "Like I said, I just didn't want to impose and overstay my welcome?"
"Impose? Overstay your welcome?" Riza repeated snarkily, a chuckle escaping her lips. "Aren't we to be married? I was under the illusion that such words were now inapplicable given the shift in our relationship. Or do correct me if I am wrong."
"We are to be married…which is why it might be best if you take whatever individual time you can now before we commit to the irreversible," he reasoned, conviction in his words.
Riza smirked and it irked Roy that she seemed to be enjoying their banter. It might as well be a sure-fire sign that she has the upper hand at the moment and whatever he would state as his argument would easily be watered down by her own.
She shut the fan off and went over to him, stopping when they were only mere inches apart from each other. "I think we've already had far too much individual time over the past decade and a half or so."
Try as he might, Roy could just not refute her statement. All sense of chivalry and being a gentleman flew out of the window now, making him just nod and concede to her wishes.
Riza clapped her hands gleefully, something she had not done since she was a child. It seemed that their rekindled bond was bringing out all sorts of repressed habits that they used to show around each other. Roy couldn't help but find her very endearing.
"Great. I'll go ready your emergency clothes so you can now have the bathroom," she grinned.
Sighing, the flame alchemist rubbed the back of his neck. "Mattaku, you still enjoy getting the better of me."
"Hm, yes. I do take pride in being the only one able to make you uncomfortable."
Roy smirked and turned back to look at her. "Your grandpa does that quite well, too."
"One of the two, then. It's a Grumman thing," she shrugged. "Now, go."
As expected, there was a fresh batch of clothes that awaited Roy once he got out of the shower. He fiddled around for the bag of toiletries that Riza kept there for him and brushed his teeth in leisure. In doing that routine, he couldn't help but think how much they acted as a couple even before.
It really was no wonder why they could transition from basically nothing to being betrothed with each other. They had always been essential to each other no matter the circumstance. Sure, they had to go through innumerable near-death experiences but they just come back as a team stronger after every dire ordeal.
He was a fool if he didn't make himself her husband after everything they had to endure. Just the thought of an imaginary man laying his eyes on her made his stomach turn and his chest rage with anger. Good thing there were people like her grandfather and her best friend who were relentless in pushing him towards the right direction. Hughes would have been similar had he not…
Shaking his thoughts away, he splashed cool water into his face and breathed into his palms before leaving the confines of her quaint, purposeful bathroom. Roy smiled as Hayate yipped and went on his hind legs when the flame alchemist emerged from the bathroom. He leaned down and patted his furry head.
"Good night, boy," he mumbled affectionately to the Shiba Inu, watching as Black Hayate turned and set himself down on his favoured blanket.
The brigadier general ran a hand through his hair and walked to Riza's bedroom door. He contemplated whether to knock or just leave her be at the moment. However, he arrived at the conclusion that it would be extremely rude and ungrateful to not wish her a good night.
Knocking thrice on the hard wood, he leaned close to the door. As he was about to utter the words, he felt a rush of wind as the blue-painted wood swung open to reveal his fiancée in her pyjamas: a shirt that hugged her figure and loose cotton pants.
"I was just going to wish you good night, Riza," he said with a fond smile. "And ask where the extra blankets are."
Her two brows met at the centre briefly before her eyes widened. "You can't comfortably fit the sofa, Roy."
"Then I'll sleep on the floor."
Riza wouldn't have it. "Nonsense. Your stomach might not be the only one hurting when you wake up tomorrow."
This time, it was he who rolled his eyes. "I'm a soldier. I have been through worse sleeping conditions than your carpeted floor."
"Yes, but the situation doesn't exactly warrant you to have a less than mediocre sleeping condition. If anything, it's the opposite," the colonel rebutted. "By all means, have the bed. I'll sleep on the sofa."
His face contorted to displeasure at her suggestion. "I don't exactly feel comfortable robbing you of your bed."
"Then let's both sleep on the bed."
Roy blinked and then stammered. "What? I—Riza, no. I can't—we can't do that…"
Her perfectly shaped brow rose from its usual position. "And why is that?"
A pinkish tint coloured the man's cheek. "Because it's not proper?"
Riza's brow remained perfectly in place on its high arch. "Try saying that again and do sound convincing this time."
"Riza…"
"Roy."
The alchemist scratched the back of his head. "Look, I appreciate it. I really do. It's just not…you know…gentleman of me to do so."
"Oh, for goodness sake, Roy," she started in slight annoyance. "It's not like we haven't shared bedspace before."
"But that's different. That was because we had no choice and were under strict military regulations," he reasoned.
Riza sighed exasperation. "I don't see why you're having problems with this, Roy. It's not like you're going to take advantage of me while I'm sleeping. Else, I swear I sleep with a gun—"
"No, of course not! I don't have a death wish."
She cocked her head to the side. "Then what is it? Tell me why you're so repulsed by the idea of sharing sleeping space with us in close proximity."
Frowning, he shook his head then looked at her. "I honestly can't think of any reason aside from the fact that it would not be expected of a man with proper manners. I mean, we aren't married yet and I don't wish to cross boundaries, subsequently making you uncomfortable. The last thing I'd wish is for me to unknowingly disrespect you."
Her eyes softened their expressions and the admiration for the man before her grew, which surprised her because she has already admired him greatly. Riza took his hand and squeezed it.
"You know, I am always grateful that you're very courteous towards me and that you think of your boundaries first before doing something which concerns me, Roy-kun," she said gently. "I greatly respect your chivalry regarding this, I do. So, I am not going to push you to do something you believe will compromise your general outlook. However, I cannot rest easy when I know you'll be sleeping in discomfort."
Thoroughly relieved, Roy smiled. He didn't know how she could be such an understanding creature no matter the circumstance. Riza has a pure and tender heart, and he felt extremely happy to have her as his partner in more ways than one.
"I almost regret making you stay the night," she said morosely, a frown upon her beautiful face. "I should have—"
"Please don't," he murmured, his thumb drawing circles on the skin of her hand. "I am happy to stay the night. In all honesty, I didn't wish to leave. I just felt it right to excuse myself for the night," the alchemist explained.
Looking up at him, the colonel offered her fiancé a warm smile. "Thank you for your honesty, Roy-kun. I'd appreciate it if you'd be candid with me as I plan on doing the same with you."
"I shall take note of that," he promised. "Shall we plan out a compromise then?"
It took them a few minutes more of banter before Roy dug out a sleeping bag from one of Riza's highly organized closets, the one dedicated to military ensemble and accessories. He would be sleeping in the bag but with added cushion of several layers of duvets, upon Riza's insistence.
The darkness almost consumed her quaint bedroom, with the window allowing the slivers of moonlight to faintly illuminate their shared space. Roy slowly let out a deep breath. The brigadier general was sleepy yet his mind raced as it recalled the happenings of the day. It was such a whirlwind to go through but he wouldn't have had it any other way.
Riza shifted on her bed, going from her back to resting on her side and edging towards the end of her bed. Her gaze fell on the man who rested underneath her sleeping bag. In silence, she retraced the lengthy journey that they took to get to this point. The recall brought both a smile to her lips and tears to her eyes.
The pair of them have been through so much and the life ahead of them promised a more exciting voyage. Riza was not naïve to think that it will be an excursion without pitfalls and hazards but maybe, just maybe Grandpa was right. It will be worth it.
"Give yourself a rest, Riza. I can almost feel your mind turning its gears," she heard him say before she felt a hand clamber blindly on the edge. Riza took it and brought it close to her face.
"Sorry. Good night, Roy-kun."
"Good night, Tiny Rizi," he responded, making use of the nickname Grumman used to call her when she was a child.
"Call me that again and I'll put a bullet between your eyes."
"Aye, Ma'am."