A/N: Honestly, I kinda feel like I went around circles with this chapter. I dunno. It took me a while to make it coherent, and I really hoped I delivered enough. :/ Thank you for taking your time to read this story, even if it's not as well put together as the other ones! Please let me know what you think! Thank you, again!

Riza had no idea how they ended up that way, her kneeling on their dining chair and kissing the soft lips of her husband. The moment she tries to think about it, his lips deepened their kiss and his hands started to wander all over her back in a way that he had never touched her before. Roy gave her no room to take a step back and analyse things so she just went with it.

A sound escaped her lips when he pulled out the hem of her black turtleneck from the confines of her bottom military blues. Her ears rang with anticipation and the thumping of her chest only became a little erratic. They soon reached their limit of holding their breaths so they parted slightly, and she laid her head against his strong shoulder.

When his hands touched the skin of her lower back, she sighed appreciatively at the warmth they offered. The sear of his hands' heat went from the skin of her back to the front and climbed way up to her neck. The blonde colonel had to bite her lip as his hands explored her skin, not wanting to give out yet how much she was enjoying it.

And then he stopped.

Her eyes flashed open and she carefully tore herself away from his chest to look up at him questioningly. The look on his face wasn't something that she sees often, what with Roy almost always being sure of himself and his actions. Riza had the question on her tongue but she bit it back when she realized what made him cease his actions.

His hands rested on a patch of skin that was scarred and marred by his alchemy. The heat on Riza's body dissipated and a slight shiver rocked her spine as Roy pulled his hands from her back and placed them behind him. She watched as his expression fell from that of anticipation to guilt and helplessness. His eyes clenched tightly shut and his teeth gritted against themselves.

"I shouldn't be touching you this way," he said against his clenched teeth, fists balling tightly.

A tiny, yet sharp sensation pricked her chest at his words. It had been so long a time since the burning happened but it seemed that Roy keeps the memory fresh, judging from his demeanour just now. Silently, she wonders how many memories of loss, regret, and grief he keeps alive in his mind. Riza wouldn't be surprised if he remembers almost every downfall he had to suffer.

Shifting slightly, she stood from the chair and went behind him, laying her hands on his clenched fists. She caressed them gently, lovingly until his hands fell back to his sides. Then, Riza engulfed him in an embrace from behind, nestling her face against his broad back right in between his shoulder blades.

"It seems we have a lot to talk about," she whispered against his clothed skin. Silently, she thanked the universe that it was already Friday and that they have the weekend at their disposal.

She only heard him hum dejectedly in reply.

"Have you eaten, though?" she asked, breaking away from him to face him properly.

Roy nodded. "You told me to eat if you aren't here by 1830 hours."

Riza chuckled softly. "Hm, it does seem you know how to take care of yourself."

"Don't mistake it for that. I merely don't wish to disobey your orders, Taisa."

The colonel smiled softly at her junshou before claiming the shower.

He stared at the closed bathroom door for a few minutes before he had the mind to put the kettle on for the two of them. Roy stayed close to the stove, wanting to feel a bit more warmth than their apartment offered. Fire had been second nature to him ever since he learned flame alchemy. Despite the horrors he caused, he had learned to seek solace in it.

But it doesn't mean that he has stopped feeling guilty about every single destructive incineration he had sparked. The brigadier general leaned against the counter and ran a hand down his face before he brought his hands before him, observing them in silence. His mind brought him back to the question he threw Maes during the Ishvalan extermination.

Can you really hold the woman you love with your blood-stained hands?

Roy bit his lip and closed his eyes shut. He felt like he was thrown in the middle of a hurricane with his conflicting emotions. The iron taste on his tongue and the sting on his chewed-on lip made him laugh bitterly to himself. Endless heroic titles and praises after, he was still very much a coward.

In that moment, he envied Maes so much. His fortitude, his optimism, and his resilience were things that Roy wanted in order to move forward but he didn't think he had the capability at the moment. For a quick while, he wanted to regret that he insisted on having the wedding so soon after Riza left his command.

Looking at it now, he found himself foolish for insisting they marry so quickly. He hasn't made peace with his troubles yet. His past mistakes still haunted him on occasion. There were many a sleepless night when his mind ran overdrive thinking and overthinking about his guilt. And now, he was dragging Riza into it without even considering the fact that she may be in the same situation as he was.

However, the ceremony was done, vows were exchanged, and papers were signed. Reversing the validity of their union wouldn't do anything to help the situation anyways. It might just aggravate it. Frustrated at his current predicament, Roy dug his palms into his eyes and rubbed them haphazardly.

"I'm a fucking coward," he whispered to himself.

"Careful," Riza warned, freshly emerged from the bathroom in her silk pyjamas. "That's my husband you're talking about."

Roy managed to drag his face away from his hands to look at her, face anything but amused at her words. If anything, he seemed to have fallen into despair. The look he gave her almost made Riza regret her teasing, but she had no time to think about such a trivial matter.

The colonel stepped from her place by the counter that separated the kitchen and the living room to walk towards her husband. Right on time, the kettle whistled and she diverted her attention to the sounding pot. With the tea poured, they settled quietly on the sofa. She was the one to break their silence.

"I believe we have things to talk about," Riza said softly, lips touching her cup as she spoke. In all honesty, it was a subject she was very reluctant to breach since it was something far too personal for them both.

No matter the circumstance, whether it was Ishval or the collateral damage they could not avoid when they tried to overthrow Bradley, it was the same guilt of having blood-stained hands. It was the same guilt of putting an end to lives of innumerable innocent people.

Over the years, Riza had managed to train herself to look at that aspect of her life a little more logically. The fact that she had willingly took part in the Ishvalan extermination cannot be erased. However, she knew she needed to move forward from it. She was alive today for a reason and being alive meant one could do more things than a dead person can.

Whether Roy was aware of that himself, she wasn't sure.

She looked over to the man opposite her and watched as he fidgeted on his seat and wrung his hands about. His fingers flexed and stretched erratically as he tried to remain cool-headed. Something in his behavior reminded Riza of a volcano, seconds away from erupting. For a moment, she thought about how long he willed his thoughts to lay dormant.

Per usual, her exterior showed no signs of uncertainty or anxiousness. It was a habit that turned into second nature, and Riza was thankful it had as she didn't wish to antagonise the situation that Roy currently was in. Her insides were a different story. Her stomach twisted in knots as she sat unmoving, wanting nothing more than to go over to him and hold him close. However, she knew she couldn't. Not yet.

As he sat enslaved by the thoughts he tried very hard to suppress, the world melted around him. Roy was oblivious to his behaviour at that moment, nor did he notice that Riza's stoicism was reaching its limits as she sat in silence watching him struggle against his mind.

His chest felt tight like his heart was pumping twice as fast and thrice as hard, but his ribcage felt like it was huge, too. It was as if his muscles were struggling to contain his insides and he could feel something clawing about his muscles. His stomach twisted into several hundred knots that bile threatened to rise. The constriction in his airway was the only one holding it down.

Roy was sweating but the air felt cold and frigid. His clenched eyes made the images of his memories very vivid. There was nothing but silence in their apartment but somehow that made the agonizing screams of the people who fell victim to his flames seem much more piercing than they ever did. The Junshou wanted to scream out to alleviate some of the tension in his body but he was afraid he'd spill his stomach's contents if he did as little as opening his mouth.

Her clenched knuckles started to tremble when she neared the threshold of her seeming indifference. Whatever gave Riza the idea that giving Roy space was wise, it was scorned to the depths of oblivion and never to return. Quick and graceful on her feet, she rose and dared to close their proximity. It was frightening to see a whole spectrum of emotions flash through Roy, and while she didn't know what, she knew that she needed to do something.

Riza kneeled before her husband and gently laid her hands on her clenched fists. In silence, she hopes her minuscule manus were enough to absorb the tremors in his, if she couldn't contain them completely. Her mask of passivity cracked when she saw the dark threatening to consume his eyes. It was almost the same look he had when he wanted to torch Envy to ashes.

"Roy…" she called to him, voice dipped in urgency. Riza's frown deepened and she grew slightly nervous. There were no other people to coax him out of his despairing state. There was no Scar, no Edward Elric who would set him straight. There was no one but her and frankly, she doubts she could do much but plead. "Roy, please…"

Even Black Hayate was alerted by the couple's turmoil. The Shiba Inu leapt from his place where he napped and scurried over between Roy and Riza. Hayate squeezed himself between his two owners, head nuzzling anything of Roy's that he could reach: his leg, his arms, his face. A frustrated and pained whine sounded from the dog when his master didn't react instantly to his touches. The dog shifted his attention to his mistress and gave her face an encouraging rub before turning back to Roy.

Every second that passed without as much as a subtle acknowledgment from Roy, Riza had begun to increase her panic. His eyes have turned from dark to glassy and unfocused, something that she didn't even entertain the possibility of returning. Her bottom lip started to quiver so she bit it in an attempt to swallow her dread.

"Roy, damn it," she called to him once more, her usually calm and cool voice beginning to crack. Her mandible had grown tight, grinding her teeth against each other. Her own airway was beginning to constrict and it seemed that no matter how much she tried to inhale, air was intercepted by her own throat.

Riza grabbed his face and sought his eyes once more, hoping that she could coax him out of this state of anxiety. With every inch of her body pleading for him to come back to reality, their gazes somehow met and Riza has never been more relieved to see sadness in his eyes rather than a wild, lost glance. The gravity of the situation bore upon her body and she collapsed against him, arms tightening around his frame as much as she could. Tears pricked her eyes and she let them fall.

"R-Riza," he gasped after a while. "Can't breathe."

The sound of his wheezing voice made several more traces of warm liquid to stain her face and she couldn't hold back the sob when she opened her mouth to speak. "You idiot. How many times do I have to tell you? Don't go where I can't fucking follow."

Roy returned the embrace and buried his face against her shoulder. He grinned softly when he felt Hayate tried to snuggle inside the crevice that was formed by their odd posture. "Aye, Ma'am."

"You made Hayate worried," she whispered, not trusting her voice just yet as she tried to collect her scattered emotions.

The Junshou chuckled when the dog whined once more, so he voiced his apology to their furry companion.

"I'm sorry, Riza," she heard him say after a lengthy pause. The mood in their apartment was calmer now, which helped the both of them settle down. "I…seem to keep on dragging you into my mess, no matter how much I try to shield you from it."

"Goes to show that it's futile to do so, doesn't it?"

Their conversations spanned the rest of their evening. During the whole time, Riza was keen on keeping a hand firmly wrapped around Roy's. It seemed that the brigadier general found it easier to sort his thoughts that way, as if she were the anchor he needed to prevent him from detaching from reality once more.

The pair of them talked about the burning first. It was a painful memory for them both, though more physically on Riza's side. They were not allowed any time to process the act that she had asked of him since the military urged Roy to come into office the morning after it happened. Riza had apologized for making him do it, but Roy understood better now why it had to happen.

The colonel had insisted that Roy need no forgiveness since she didn't fault him for it, but instead he did her a favour. The Junshou begrudgingly set on to accept her words.

Ishval was next on their list and neither of them knew how to properly start the dialogue. Their heads hung slightly at the memories that seemed to be a lifetime ago, distant but not forgotten. Roy's mind was doing a flashback of every fire that he had ignited, while Riza's mind seemed like a flipchart that contained almost every face that she saw through her sniper. Before they realized it, their twined hands have grown cold from how hard they were gripping each other.

It's not as if they sought to forget the horrours of Ishval. Neither did they seek for forgiveness or redemption from the terrible things they have participated in. The couple was long resigned to the fact that they would be tried for their war crimes sooner or later, once an interested party pried into the matter. However, they recognized that they can't remain immobile. They knew that simply biding their time by hiding behind their respective desks weren't enough.

They may have soiled the holy land with countless deaths during the massacre, but they would fight tooth and nail if they aren't allowed to contribute to the re-establishment of the once-peaceful land. Riza was taking the steps towards that now and while her heart was not wounded by the extermination anymore, the scars that have formed them serve as her motivators for doing the mission.

Roy, of course, will wield any power he could in order to lend a hand in the Ishvalan restoration. He may have committed his team in doing so several nights ago, but this time it was driven more by conviction to do good rather than being fueled solely by guilt. There was a fine line between the two but the differences were worlds away.

"I know…I have already apologized," he started timidly, gripping her hand a little firmly once more. "But I still am sorry for manip—"

"Enough," Riza said, cutting him off. "If things didn't happen the way they did, do you think we would be here right now, in this exact moment?"

A lump formed in Roy's throat and he swallowed hard to dissolve it. He knew the answer but it was difficult to get himself to accept when he had caused her so much pain and disappointment. "Riza, I—"

"Where's the Roy who promised me he'd make me happy now because of the disappointments he caused me in the past?" the blonde dared ask. "Is he gone?"

"N-No!" he retorted, voice going up a pitch as it faltered. There was trepidation upon his features before he realized that his answer may just have had the opposite effect. Roy shook his head and took a deep breath, a serious look replacing his last. "No. He's not gone."

Riza nodded briskly. "Good. Then stop apologizing for conflicts we have already settled and matters I have already forgiven you for. You know very well that I don't like repeating myself, Junshou."

"Aye, Ma'am. I'm so—" Roy cut himself off and swallowed, not wanting to spite her further by mindlessly sputtering out an apology. After what seemed like a long time, he heard Riza chuckle and then felt her soft lips graze his cheek.

She stood from her spot on the sofa and broke away from his grasp. "Come now, it's already nearing midnight. We should get ready to sleep."

Roy nodded, clearing away the tea set and setting on to wash them as Riza arranged Hayate's sleeping area for the Shiba Inu to be much more comfortable. They worked well in their domestics as they do in their heists, it seemed, and it really shouldn't surprise him anymore.

The press of their thick covers gave Roy a sense of warmth that he didn't know he needed that night. He appreciated the slight darkness in silence before he turned to his side to curl his form around his wife. His head found their niche on her shoulder and he let out a sigh of relaxation as her body heat slowly crept to his skin.

The Mustangs stayed that way for a few minutes before Riza broke the silence. "Couldn't sleep, can you?"

"'m awake as I was this morning," he mumbled into her skin.

Riza smirked. "Well, not very awake, then."

The brigadier general opened his eyes only to roll them back before shutting them again. "I meant after the morning coffee."

"Hm."

His eyes flashed open once more at her non-verbal reply. "There's something on your mind, love."

"Mm."

Roy shifted on the bed to get a better look at her. The faint glow of the moonlight was enough for his eyes to recognize the uneasy look on her face. Her usually bright eyes were as dim as the shrouded stars in the night sky. It was a sight he doesn't like seeing on her. His arm cuddled her closer to him and he kissed her forehead gently. "Tell me?"

Still, her eyes didn't meet his. "I don't know how to."

"Try me."

He felt Riza shift on their bed and Roy gave him space to do so. The brigadier general allowed his wife to shift in his arms, but he didn't exactly expect that she would snuggle close up to him. So far, their physical contact had mostly been initiated by him and most times, he finds her following suit. Not that it mattered much; he knew she was testing waters regarding her comfort with intimate touches, and Roy was more than content to be patient.

But he was also more than content to welcome whatever tiny leap Riza made in making herself comfortable with couple-y touchings…which was why his arms automatically wrapped around her frame when she practically pressed herself against him.

"It's just that…" she started, voice small and muffled by his clothed chest. "Ever since the Promised Day, I have been having some…recurring nightmares."

Roy nodded even though she couldn't see him do so. "I know. Catalina told me."

She released the breath she didn't realise she was holding. Well, if Becky had already told him, then she wouldn't have to go through the torture of telling him about the details. "Okay, then…Just that, all the previous nights, I didn't have them because my hormones were making me more tired than usual. Now that my cycle has restarted, I am waiting for it to hit. So, if you could sleep now, that'd be great. I wouldn't be able to disturb your sleep with it when you're already so deep into it."

"Nonsense, Riza," he bit back, taking slight offence at that. How is it that she is able to take care of him whenever he had his terrors (whether awake or otherwise), but she hides hers from him? "We sleep together. If you have the terrors, you'll wake me anyway. And I shall comfort you, as you do to me."

The sigh of exasperation that came from his wife sort of irritated him. "You barely get enough sleep as it is, Roy."

"And you don't give me enough chances to prove to you that I can be helpful to you as much as you are helpful with me," the brigadier general countered.

It was a scoff this time, but the effect in him was the same. "Don't be absurd, Roy. You being alive is enough for me."

"But it is not enough for me," he said, voice hard and a tone louder. Roy almost regretted it when he felt her shrink away from him slightly. "You have to realize that I wish to fulfil my husband duties to the best of my ability. I didn't become yours because I merely wanted the title, Riza. I became yours because I craved for the responsibility that it entailed. I can't go about my duties to you as my spouse if you deprive me of the opportunities to do so, even before they surface."

Rarely was Colonel Riza Hawkeye-Mustang stunned into silence. Usually she was the one doing the shutting up either with her words stripped of any sugarcoating or her aiming her gun or her firing her gun. However, his words rendered her unable to speak anything but, "I'm sorry, Roy-kun. I'm just not used to—"

"—having to depend on someone, since usually you are the one to be depended on," he finished for her. "Yes, I know."

"Mm." Her non-verbal reply was not irritating at all, since it entailed that she was finally getting what he wished to convey.

"You are going to have to allow me to steer this ship along with you, Riza," he said softly, bringing a hand to caress her round cheek. Roy kissed her nose softly before he continued. "A two-man vessel will crash or sink if one of the two workers are to be withheld from fulfilling obligations, no matter how capable the other is."

Her eyes softened at his words and there was extreme heat that crept into her face. For a quick while, Riza wanted to sock him in the jaw for smirking because she knew he felt the blush on her cheeks as much as she did. But, she willed the urge away and simply nodded.

"All right," he heard her say. "All right. I will."

"It's the only thing I ask, my love," he whispered. Roy took no time in claiming her lips in a deep kiss. Since they first shared one just the other night, their evening seemed incomplete if they didn't snog till they were gasping for air.

Try as he might, the boundaries that come down following their marriage has him floored at every turn. This was what he had wanted, what he had dreamed of for so long. It was what he never thought he would get in this lifetime, yet the universe one-upped him once more and made it happen.

And he swore on his life that he was not going to screw this up.

Riza was the first one to break away with jagged pants to replenish her breath. She smiled lovingly up at him and tangled her legs with his underneath their covers. Resting her head against his chest, she listened to his soothing heartbeat and let out a breath.

She mustered up the courage to finally say the words she had been thinking about ever since he first came to her apartment and formally professed his affections for her for the first time.

"I love you, my king."

A/N: Ye, a little drama there. It consumed so much of my energy that I had to end the chapter on a fluffy note just to compensate for it. I am bad at writing drama. Haha.