AN: As always, a special thank you to my alpha and beta SyrenGrey and Kiridraca!
XOX
Severus straightened himself, tugging the wrinkles out of his clothing as he staggered to the door, impressed that he only bumped into the wall once. He pulled open the door, liquid courage more powerful than the most potent dose of Felix Felicis ran through his veins, hesitating in his decision only momentarily when he saw that smile – the smile she reserved just for him.
Olivia reached up, wrapping a hand around his neck as she pulled him in for a kiss, her lips working against his but they weren't responding. "Severus? What's wrong?" He grabbed her shoulders, pushing her away to keep her at arm's length. Severus swayed slightly, quickly recovering but it was too late; she saw him.
"Are–are you drunk?"
"I'd prefer the term inebriated," he slurred.
"You're hurt!" she gasped, looking at his bloodied knuckles. He looked down, snorting as he examined the way the blood had dried.
"So I am."
"Severus, what happened? What's wrong?" She stepped closer, running her hands down his chest in what she hoped was soothing to him. He quickly snatched her by the wrists, tugging her arms away from him. She was hurt. He never turned down a comforting touch to her, not since their threesome. She knew their feelings had evolved past simple lust, Severus included although he'd never admit it. She frowned, tears burning behind her eyes– she felt rejected.
Staggering back, he fell ungracefully into one of his chairs, left leg dangling across the arm as he sat askew. He growled, likely embarrassed as he swung his leg over to sit properly. He leaned forward, elbows resting on his knees while he grabbed handfuls of his hair, a perfect picture of despair.
Olivia crept towards him, cornering the wild animal that was Severus Snape. She grabbed an ottoman and sat between his spread knees. Tentatively, she grabbed his hands, pulling them down so she could heal him. She cast a quick diagnosis charm. Boxer's fracture. He had punched something. She took out her wand, slowly looking up to find him watching her darkly. "This will probably hurt. You broke the knuckles on your little fingers, and dislocated a few more." He only shrugged, sliding his gaze to the roaring fire.
"Episkey," she whispered.
The snap of his bones being realigned echoed throughout the room, and yet the man didn't react at all, not even a flinch. How much pain had he endured in his past that he was so unaffected by this? Olivia wanted to cry, her chest tightening and suffocating her. Severus still wasn't talking to her, and wouldn't look at her. Had she angered him in some way?
She stood, walking to where she knew he kept his tinctures, salves, and potions. She grabbed some antiseptic, gauze, and a Sober-Up potion.
Severus could sense her anxiety, no doubt the witch could sense his tension and was likely blaming herself. He had to keep reminding himself this was for the best. He was doing what had to be done for the greater good. He'd keep her safe. He'd keep her alive. Even if he couldn't keep… her.
Finding her seat again, Olivia grabbed his hands, delicately rubbing the antiseptic over his knuckles with her middle finger. It was a thicker paste, allowing her to massage little circles against his skin, fascinated by how quickly his skin healed. She wrapped his hands tightly, ensuring none of the salve rubbed off, before lowering her lips to kiss both hands. Again, the man did not react at all.
"Drink this," she whispered, handing him the small bottle. Eyes never leaving the flame, he took the bottle, sniffing it before downing the liquid in one go.
Olivia waited a few minutes for the potion to work. "Feel better now?"
"Marginally."
"Do you want to talk about it?"
No answer.
"What if…" Olivia placed her hands on his thighs, pressing them apart so she could nestle in closer. "...I could try to make you feel better… hmm? Would you like that?" She bit her lip, rubbing his thighs as she reached higher and higher towards his sex. Olivia had long since determined that Severus needed physical touch; words weren't enough, people lie, actions don't. She wasn't sure what happened tonight, but she'd make sure he felt loved, knew she loved him and would always be there for him. As she reached her goal, she furrowed her brow, pulling back slightly in confusion.
He wasn't aroused.
She cupped him a little harder. Trying to coax a reaction out of him. She could feel the outline of his cock through his wool pants, but there was no mistaking it. He wasn't hard. Her heart sank. Even after sex he was never fully flaccid, she wasn't sure if she'd ever seen him without half of an erection. Her mind started catastrophizing the situation.
You've displeased him. You did something wrong. He doesn't want you.
She tried to convince herself that wasn't true. He had been expecting her tonight, he had even made sure she was prepared to spend the night, whispering naughty things in her ear all day about promises for this evening.
And yet, here we are.
Severus stood quickly, grabbing both of her wrists in one of his hands as he started walking her back against the stone wall. She whimpered at the bruise he was surely making on her wrist, as well as the coldness that suddenly settled down on her. She missed the heat of the fireplace, the heat of his body, the feel of his lips. She stopped walking when her body collided with the stone, bumping her head enough to shake her from her thoughts.
"Everything is about sex with you, isn't it?" he whispered. His voice was dark and foreboding, similar to the one he used when he'd spank her.
She felt herself grow wet beneath his rough handling. She was sure this was a game of cat and mouse, it just happened that the cat was angrier than usual. Perhaps he wanted a fight? Something a bit more primal?
She squirmed, hands breaking free, struggling to grab his neck to steal a kiss before he grabbed her again, pulling her arms well above her head and sticking them there with a nonverbal spell, like a shackled prisoner. She suppressed a groan, waiting for the moment when he'd slam his hips against her, biting her neck and taking her roughly against the wall.
"You have a very primal mind, Miss Wright. All that little brain of yours craves is pleasure." Severus released his hold on her, confident his sticking charm would hold, so that he could run his fingers down her arms, noting how the gooseflesh pebbled beneath his fingertips. "You enjoy a good fucking, don't you, Miss Wright? Your body craves the release, it's all you think about."
He continued tracing his fingers down her body, sliding one hand across her throat to give it a gentle squeeze before moving on.
"Mmm, yes." Olivia squirmed, needing some sort of pressure, any stimulation to help ease this tension. Severus leaned forward, careful to keep his hips away from her, as he lowered his head, lips brushing against her ear as he spoke.
"You think you deserve my cock all the time, don't you?" Severus slid his hands down her ribs, large hands splaying over her tummy. She groaned at the dominating size of the wizard. He could easily hurt her– break her. He was powerful and loomed over her. But she trusted him, she knew he'd never harm her. "Do you want to be fucked, Miss Wright? Do you want to feel my full power?"
"Yes, Sir," she moaned as her hips bucked, seeking the wizard that would fill her soon. He reached down, briefly touching her covered mons before stepping away from her.
"Sadly, I'll have to decline for the evening." His eyes were cold. Colder than the loss of heat she felt as he stepped away from her. Tears filled her eyes but she wasn't sure if it was anger, confusion, or embarrassment.
"W-what?"
"I have an insatiable thirst–one that is not usually quenched from a single…cup." Severus reached out, roughly palming a breast before straightening and looking down his nose at her. "Lucius, on the other hand…" Severus lifted his shoulders in an appraising shrug, his lips pulled down as his brows rose. He continued on, smirking, "...and Cissa, of course… are just able to offer…more." His eyes flicked over her dismissively, a soft scoff of disgust accompanying the sneer twisting his mouth. "It was nice to drink my fill of you for so long, but we both knew my attentions were waning. It lasted longer than I expected, really, for a silly, frivolous young girl like you."
This is not happening. Olivia turned her face into her shoulder, her throat closing off from the bile that was rising.
"Why do you look so surprised? It was clear to me from the beginning that all you wanted from me was my cock to fuck you and voice to fill that empty mind of yours," he sneered, turning his back to her momentarily to pace.
Olivia felt a sob tear from her throat. "Severus," she whimpered, "I-I don't understand. What are you saying?"
"I will no longer be seeking your…services, Miss Wright. Do see yourself out." With a wave of his hand, her hands were released as she collapsed as a worthless pile onto the floor. Severus turned, but she stopped him. Her voice was meek and broken.
"Look me in the eyes and tell me," she cried. "Tell me you never loved me. That I meant nothing to you." She paused to wipe the tears that were falling, sniffling as her sinuses clogged. "Tell me we were all a lie."
"You were a good fuck. But now I seek… better opportunities." He looked down at her before turning and walking back towards his bedroom as if he didn't have a care in the world. "Don't bother attempting to sway me. Crawling to my quarters late at night to meet your hedonistic needs. Obviously, you've lost your ability to rouse my cock, what further use could you have?" He opened the door, stepped inside and closed the door quietly behind him.
Olivia watched, vision blurry with tears as her heart clenched in agony. He'll turn around… this can't be happening…he'll come back and hold me, this isn't real.
Wake up.
Wake up.
But he didn't. The door stayed closed, the faint buzzing of a silencing charm was the only noise that echoed throughout his chambers. He couldn't even be bothered by her sniffling, let alone a full breakdown. She staggered to her feet, dizzy and hot. She was going to vomit. Nothing seemed real. Her skin was clammy, her heart obliterated. Was this all just a game to him? He bedded her because he was bored, and now that he had his fill, she meant nothing?
She fucking loved him.
She was angry, broken…a numb shell. She looked around for something, anything to take away her pain. She grabbed the various vials and containers she had gathered to heal him, clutching them against her chest. One by one she threw them against his door, hyper focused on the way the glass tinkled to the floor. Shattered in a million pieces like her soul.
"You destroyed my heart! You fucking bastard!"
The air crackled around her, static clung to her hair as her magic surged, summoning power from her angst. Olivia let out a guttural cry before sinking back to the floor. She was going to be sick. She didn't dare use his bathroom, she wouldn't give the fucker the pleasure of finder her passed out in the bathroom having cried herself to sleep. She tried to stand but her vision darkened, black orbs floating around until all she had left was a small tunnel to see through. She tried to work through it, struggling to the door to head back to the safety of her room. A sharp pain stung her chest and she felt her throat closing, an overwhelming sense of doom.
You're going to die in the hallway. There's no way you'll make it upstairs. Someone will find you eventually. It will be a painful death, there's no way around it. Why bother seeking medical attention, you aren't even worth it. You should just lay down and wait for the darkness to come, that will hurt less.
Olivia willed her intrusive thoughts to stop. She hadn't had a panic attack in years but was able to recognize it was happening. Her stomach turned, logical brain fighting with her emotional one.
You're safe. It's ok. You're safe.
She counted her steps, repeating her mantra to center herself, as she made her way up the 33 stairs and took a further 286 steps to the hospital wing.
You're safe. It's ok. You're safe.
She was shaking now, jaw quivering as if she were outside on a frigid day. She was bent at the waist, hugging herself. It's the only comfort you'll find. No one will ever want you again. All you're good for is a fuck, isn't that what he said? You have no purpose. No drive. Just get in bed and never get up.
Olivia paid no mind to the Mediwitch as her body numbly carried her forward. Her eyes were straightforward and fixed, unobservant of everything except her lonely bedroom. She pushed open her door, more tears falling as she looked upon the chair beside her bed.
That's where you laid his cloak after he lent it to you. You wrapped yourself in it and delivered yourself like a present to him. Maybe the chair still smelled like him?
He didn't want you then either, her conscience reminded her. He sent you back naked and alone. He probably never wanted you. How many times did he send you away before you finally annoyed him enough to break his resolve? You're an annoying, stupid person. Get into bed and stay there.
Olivia mechanically climbed into bed, pulling the covers over her head as she nestled into her cocoon of self loathing. The tears had finally stopped, her breath came in short, quivering waves as her body tried to inhale oxygen through the exhaustion she had just put herself through. She ignored the knocking on the door.
Knock-knock.
There it was again. Maybe it was Severus? She perked up for a minute, allowing some hope that he came back, begging for forgiveness.
"Who is it?" She croaked.
"Poppy, dear. What's wrong?"
So. Not him, then. Are you really surprised? Her lip wobbled, grimacing as she cried out again.
Poppy pushed the door open and came in, immediately rushing to the bedside. She placed the back of her hand against her forehead, feeling for a fever. She was overheated, for sure, but didn't care. She cried harder.
"Olivia, what happened?" Poppy was unable to keep the panic out of her voice. Olivia shook her head, unable to talk. They sat that way for what felt like hours. The hospital was quiet, allowing Poppy to sit there, stroking her hair and offering comfort should the witch find herself able to talk.
XOX
The trinkets on Severus' wardrobe shook as the room trembled from his anguished roar. His magic was uncontrollable, bursts of energy crackling around him as he fell to his knees, fisting his hair. Hot tears ran down his cheeks as he listened to her scream at him.
You destroyed my heart, you fucking bastard.
He had dropped his occlumency shields as soon as the door closed, allowing all of his emotions to come flooding back. It was an evil thing to do, but he couldn't allow himself to react to her seduction. He would have taken her to bed and sought comfort once more.
Being the masochist that he was, Severus made sure the silencing charm would deafen her to his howls, but he'd be able to hear everything his little witch did. He deserved to hear it. She was breaking something, many things, he supposed.
Good.
Anger he could cope with, it was the soul-splitting crying he couldn't deal with. He had broken his witch, damned them, both to loneliness. Why did he have to be so awful to her? He could have just told her the truth, that he was protecting her. But he knew she was too brave, or foolish, to leave him. She'd stay and she'd die. He'd be damned if another woman would die from his mistakes.
His body was used to pain. His mind was used to disappointment. But somehow, this was worse. He felt as if someone had cast the most powerful Crucio in existence and went straight for his heart. He stood, stomping over to his wall and smashing his hand against it, groaning as he felt his hand break.
He did it again.
And again.
Until his hand looked like a mangled mess. He destroyed his last trace of Olivia. She had healed him, as gently as possible, and tried to offer comfort. He deserved nothing but pain. He undid her work easily, biting his lip as he felt the searing hot pain of the break. He looked down, nauseous as he saw the bright white of his middle knuckle peeking out at him.
Well, that was stupid.
He promptly bent over and vomited all over the floor, choking back a sob. He had just about had himself convinced to go after her when the floo glowed green. Dumbledore poked his head through calling out to him.
There had been an emergency, he was needed at once to meet with Dumbledore, Moody, and Minerva. Severus occluded once again, straightening his clothing and quickly smoothing his hair. He'd allow the blood to drip from his knuckles, he didn't want the pain to disappear yet. Severus shoved his hand into his pocket, grimacing as it scraped against his woolen pocket and stepped through the fire.
XOX
Severus stepped into the large office, already overwhelmed between his drinking, throbbing hand, and the loud chatter and hushed whispers. He still felt nauseous and wanted nothing more than to sink into the chilled floor of the loo and rest his head against the icy porcelain of the toilet and wait for death. Alas, that wouldn't be happening any time soon.
"Severus. I have news," Dumbledore mentioned with a hint of anxiety. Minerva and Moody immediately turned to face him. The Dark Arts professor seemed slightly breathless but otherwise indifferent, Minerva's expression, which was already scrunched in concern, changed into fear as she took in his even more pallid skin tone and sweat-soaked hair. Severus shook his head minutely at her.
Not now, woman.
Dumbledore quickly took in the Potion Master's appearance before continuing on, pacing back and forth. Severus hated the way the Headmaster operated. Call a bloody meeting, interrupt his own death wish and planning of… to stand here with his thumb up his arse and watch him pace. If he offered a lemon drop or damned licorice snap he'd toss himself out the window.
"Harry Potter came to me today, distraught. After the announcement of the third task, he met with Viktor Krum in the Forbidden Forest," Dumbledore was interrupted by a gasp from Minerva and a growl from Moody. Snape merely swayed in his spot fighting for consciousness.
"What was Potter thinking?" Moody grumbled.
"Why would Potter go off with that boy alone? Have we taught him nothing?" Minerva was pacing now, eyes occasionally glancing at Snape, a flash of concern and motherly worry overtook her before she transitioned back to her concern for the boy.
"I do not know, Minerva. But in his discussion with Krum, it appears Barty Crouch was discovered. Potter said he was out of his mind, speaking nonsense as if dictating to Percy Weasley." Dumbledore fingered his beard before continuing. "However, he said Barty had moments of clarity too. Apologizing for mistakes, begging for my audience. By the time Potter got to me," the Headmaster shot a look at Severus whose eyes had gone glassy. "…he had already disappeared. Alastair looked for him but had no luck. Now, I propose we remain vigilant and distraction free. I trust that isn't an issue for anyone?" The Headmaster looked pointedly at Severus once more.
Snape fought the pain, looking into the Headmaster's eyes with such disdain and loathing as he set his jaw and gave a curt nod.
The job is done you bastard.
"Very well," he clapped his hands together, his face brightening as if they hadn't just discussed the reappearance and disappearance of a powerful man. "Let us be on our way then, hmm? Do not forget, Harry and his friends envision themselves investigators. Alastair, Minerva… I trust you will do everything in your power to get Harry through this third task safely, and keep him off the scent of this issue?"
The Witch and Wizard nodded their heads as they turned to leave. Severus squeezed his eyes shut, willing his stomach to settle before he stepped into the floo. He thought he was alone but then felt the familiar tug of Minerva pulling his robes.
"Hospital Wing," she called out as she drug her beloved boy off to seek medical attention.
XOX
"What in the world have you done to yourself now, lad? You look like utter shite, are you pished?" She reached up, cupping his cheek and pulling down his eyelids. "Your clammy," she grimaced. "Poppy! Poppy, I need some help here."
The Mediwitch sighed, squeezing Olivia's hand before she stood and left the sleeping witch. She had to give her a calming draught and Dreamless Sleep to calm her down, she had started to hyperventilate and she couldn't get her breathing to settle. After the calming drought kicked in, she was able to get a partial story, but had sworn to not discuss it further. All she knew was Severus Snape had broken her heart. She cast a silencing charm, wanting to make sure the girl remained asleep.
As she emerged, closing the door to Olviia's room, Severus flinched. He didn't need to use Legilimency to know his little witch was inside broken, and that the fuming witch stomping towards him knew why. As she walked down the long corridor towards the front entrance, he swallowed hard and steeled himself.
She was so close. He could go to her now. Take everything back, but he knew he couldn't. Not to mention, she'd be a fool to ever take him back after this. He pulled himself to his towering height, hoping to give off an err of indifference as well as intimidation.
"What seems to be the problem, Minerva?" She asked coolly.
"Severus has gone and done something completely idiotic but he won't talk. Look at him, Poppy. He looks awful."
Poppy had to agree, unfortunately. "Come, boy. To your usual bed." Poppy and a Minerva led him back to the private rooms, unfortunately bringing him closer to Olivia. Minerva was on his left, arm wrapped through his, Poppy on the left, when she went to pull his sleeve, he hissed in pain. "Severus?" Poppy questioned. The man scowled, raising his chin to avoid looking at her. Gently, she pulled his hand free from the pocket. He growled when the infantile scabs were broken from where they had congealed to the inside of his pocket. Fresh blood began to flow as the two women gasped.
"Severus Tobias Snape! What did you do?" Minerva's thick accent was muddled by her fresh tears. "Why would you do this?"
"Come on, let's get him set up before we do anything."
Severus sat on the twin sized bed inside the sterile little room. Thin, scratchy white sheets with bright white walls. The springs groaned on the metal frame as he was pushed to lie down. How could Olivia stand to stay here? All alone in a single bed, institutional walls all around her? No wonder she preferred to stay with him in the dungeons. Even though it was dark and cold, they seemed to warm each other throughout the night, clutching one another as they fell off to sleep.
Was she asleep now? Or was she listening? Would she hear him? He couldn't risk sounding desperate or hurt— she'd know the break up was a lie.
"Drink this." A bottle of calming draught and pain killer was thrust in his face. He swatted them away. "Severus…" she warned. He merely thinned his lips, pressing them tightly against each other like a babe who refused to eat their string beans.
"Fine then." She roughly grabbed his hand, clicking her tongue in disappointment. "This is going to hurt."
Good, he thought.
Poppy grabbed his little finger, supporting the joint above and below the break and yanked, one by one as she realigned the bones. If the man wanted pain, he'd have it. The sound of the bones snapping over one another echoed in the empty room.
"Fuck!" He bellowed, nearly jumping off the bed while she stiffly grabbed his next finger. His head felt fuzzy, his stomach nauseous. Good. You deserve it. You should've broken more.
"Well, now that that's done. I think I will leave you to rest." She shot him a reproachful glare as she left to go sit at her desk. Minerva looked at her curiously but figured she'd discuss it later over tea. For now, she wanted Severus' side.
Severus remained silent. Unbuttoning his right sleeve so he could roll up the fabric. He stood, walking over to a cabinet to grab some gauze and antiseptic. Poppy kept his room fully stocked, well aware that the man often preferred to heal himself. He sat back on the bed, uncorking the bottle with his crooked teeth, spitting it to the floor. He poured a little on the gauze, allowing it to soak before he attempted to wrap his knuckles. He growled, unable to do it properly with his non-dominant hand. Minerva sighed, sitting beside him and helping without asking.
"What did you do, Severus? And why is Poppy so angry?" Minerva knew that the Mediwitched used the muggle way of setting his hand to make it more painful. The man only sighed, looking down at his hands and picking the skin of his fingers, a bad habit he wasn't able to break away from. They sat in silence for a long time before he finally sighed.
"I ended things with Miss Wright," he whispered. His head hung low, greasy hair curtaining his face so he could hide the pain.
She slapped his thigh. "Why on earth would you do that," she shrieked. "You were happy… you both were, you eejit."
"There was no reason to keep her company. She fulfilled her… duties." He looked away. Squinting as his eyes burned. What a lucky day it was, he had pissed off all three women he valued most in less than 2 hours. Brilliant. He stood to leave.
"Where do you think you're going!"
"I'm not discussing this."
"Oh yes you are, laddie. You don't just wake up one morning and decide to end things."
"Perhaps I do. I'm a man, I had needs. Those needs were met."
Minerva slapped his cheek, the power causing his face to jerk to the side, a red handprint bloomed beneath the heat. "Haud yer weesht," she growled. "You know better than to speak of a woman like that. I—I taught you better."
"Perhaps Tobias taught me more," he murmured. The witch bit her tongue.
"You have your entire life to be a prick, why not take the rest of the day off, hmm?"
Severus scoffed. "If you're waiting for me to care, perhaps I should summon a house elf for some supper? I'd hate for us to starve."
"Your arse must be pretty jealous of all the shite that is coming out of your mouth boy. Go on. Back to your dungeon before I decide to hex your bollocks off."
"Are you sending me to my room, Minnie? How touching," he sneered.
Minerva reached up and grabbed him by the ear, pulling him down toward her so she could whisper. He growled at the sharp pain but listened. "I do not know what you are doing, Severus. But I can assure you, it was the wrong decision. I will find out."
"You know nothing," he hissed. Gently pulling her fingers away from his ear as he stood, straightening his robes, and left.
XOX
Severus remained reclusive over the next few weeks. More house points had been taken that he had done the entire year. The students parted the hallways like the Red Sea when they saw his billowing cloak, hushed whispers filled the stone walls. He avoided the Great Hall, not wanting to run into the witch, until he had no choice on the morning of the final event.
Olivia remained in her room. Unneeded and practically shunned by the Beauxbatons, and unwanted by her wizard. She had no reason to get up. It took three days before Poppy convinced her to bathe and change her clothes, and even then, she had to threaten to Imperius the girl. She barely ate, having lost at least a stone since her heart had broken several weeks ago.
The morning of the third task, she reluctantly got out of bed and dressed in her uniform, prepared to wear it for the last time during this final event. Hopefully, her services wouldn't be needed. She doubted she could focus on anything well enough to heal more than a paper cut.
Olivia walked into the Great Hall, senses overloaded by all the noise and distractions of a Hogwarts breakfast after secluding herself to her room for so long. She walked towards the long table, freezing beside the Gryffindor table as her eyes locked on Severus. He looked the same, angrily stabbing his eggs as he ignored everyone around him. He didn't appear to actually be eating, more so pushing the food around, but still. He seemed unbothered. She watched Minerva elbow him, his eyes slowly rose to find her. He looked furious. He noisily stood from his chair and walked out. Minerva offered her a sad smile as she stood from her own seat and walked down towards her.
"Potter, the champions are congregating in the chamber off the Hall after breakfast," she said.
The boy sputtered around his mouthful of eggs, spilling down the front of his shirt as he frantically tried to stand. "But the task's not till tonight!"
Minerva continued speaking to the boy for a few more minutes before she moved towards Olivia, smiling and practically dragging her back to the table to eat. The young witch sat there, quietly, oblivious to anything but her own thoughts as she stared down at her plate. Before she knew it, the day was over and she was being escorted to the stands by Poppy and Minerva to watch the final task, a sick feeling in her stomach. Something just felt…wrong.