Chapter 7: Taking Chances

For the next few days, neither party contacted each other. Blaise secluded himself to his room, and Rashida didn't come within an inch of Malfoy Manor, despite Ginny owling her a few times.

Finally, Hermione decided to take it upon herself to make Rashida talk. She sent her a howler, demanding her presence over dinner at her and Ron's home. Only the girls, so Rashida wouldn't feel ambushed.

As they sat at the dinner table having a wonderful meal that Hermione had made, neither woman said a word as Rashida played with her peas on her plate. After about ten minutes of total silence however, Pansy had had enough.

"Okay Rashida, start talking." she demanded. "What happened the other day?"

Rashida looked up from her plate as if she were snapped out of a daze. "Nothing." she mumbled.

"You're lying." said Ginny. "I can tell by how you're acting that something must have happened."

"I don't want to talk about it."

"Okay then," said Hermione. "We won't talk about it."

Rashida nodded and looked back down at her plate.

'Three...two...one...' counted Pansy in her head.

"Why in the hell did he have to come back?!" shouted Rashida, slamming her fist on the table. "Why couldn't he have stayed his ass in Italy, far fucking away from me?!"

"I knew it." smirked Pansy.

"So I take it him cooking for you went disastrous." said Hermione, sipping her pumpkin juice.

"It was terrible! I showed my back, and he took off his shirt!"

"Oooh, sexy." joked Ginny.

"It really was." sighed Rashida. "His body seemed to have gotten better over time. I just wanted to smother him in white chocolate and lick it off."

"There goes my appetite." said Pansy, pushing her plate away.

"He touched my back and I felt like I was going to lose control." reflected Rashida. And then, we argued."

"Weird climax." said Ginny.

"We argued about feelings, and I shouted at him about how I loved Dean and how I was angry about what he had put me through, and I just made a fool of myself." groaned Rashida, as she hid her face in her hands.

Hermione couldn't help but give a small chuckle. "So what does all this mean, Rah?"

"You know damn well what our means, Granger. That's why you're giving me that smug ass 'I told you so' look of yours."

""So you fancy Blaise all over again," said Pansy as she rubbed her belly. "What's the big deal?"

"What's the big deal you ask? I'm getting fucking married in less than a month, that's what the big deal is!"

"Maybe this will pass." suggested Ginny. "Maybe it's all just sexual attraction."

Rashida removed her face from her hands at that statement. "Of course that's what it is. Blaise is fucking gorgeous! Every time I see him, it's like seventh year all over again and I just want to wrap his body all over mine. I remember when I first seen him half naked. It was at his home, on Christmas Day, and it took everything in me not to lick him then. I don't think his mother would have appreciated that." said Rashida, letting out a small schoolgirl giggle.

"We all know Blaise is hot," said Pansy, "so it shouldn't seem like such a problem if all it is is sexual frustration rearing its ugly head."

"But it is." sighed Rashida. "You don't understand. Every time I see him, he makes me feel like I'm having butterflies like I did back at Hogwarts. I remember when we were dating, and the mere mention of his name made my heart skip a beat and my mind wander, and when I would see him, it was like I would catch tunnel vision and he would be the only one I saw in the room, even when it was full of hundreds of students."

Ginny tried to think of something clever to say, however, she herself knew exactly what it felt like, so she couldn't think of anything. The silence of the other women indicated that they were thinking the same thing as well.

"I'll still never forget when I woke up after the first time we had sex." said Rashida, looking off at nothing in particular.

Both Ginny and Hermione giggled. They remembered when Rashida had came in late Sunday night wearing Blaise's shrunken clothes and telling the story that sounded like something straight out of a wizard romance novel.

"You never told me about that." said Pansy, feigning offense.

*FLASHBACK*

Rashida stirred out of what felt like a wonderful dream. The first sign that she hadn't awakened in her bed was the smell of expensive cologne. She didn't even have to open her eyes to identify where that smell was coming from, and she smiled with her eyes closed as she felt the strong arm that was around her waist tighten up and felt soft tender kisses on her exposed shoulder and upper back.

"Good morning." she said in a sleepy whisper.

Blaise hummed against her back, continuing his ministrations with no real answer. Rashida couldn't help but melt into his kisses.

"What are you doing?" she asked.

"I was enjoying my breakfast until you started talking." said Blaise's muffled voice as he took a gentle nibble at her skin.

"Breakfast huh? I didn't realize I was a snack." Rashida said, her skin getting goosebumps at Blaise's nibbles.

"Oh yeah. I love having a piece of caramel in the morning." said Blaise moving his teeth to her shoulder.

"Oh!" said Rashida as Blaise nipped her a bit rougher. "Stop that you."

She turned her body to face him. Her immediate thought as she liked into Blaise's brighter than usual eyes? She would love to wake up to him on a daily basis.

"Why do your eyes look more blue?"

"They'll darken in a few," said Blaise. "Been doing that all my life. Can't really explain it. Does it creep you out?"

"No, I think it's beautiful." she said as she watched Blaise's eyes begin to darken as if the sun was setting.

"You're the one who is beautiful."

"Is that your clever way to get some good morning sex out of me?" she asked, taking a finger and sliding it over Blaise's cheek.

"I'm actually being serious." said Blaise in a sweet, but businesslike tone.

"I know."

"I was serious last night too, about what I said. It wasn't a moment thing."

Rashida have him a shy smile, knowing exactly what he was referring to. His declaration of love the night before.

"I know, I meant it too."

Blaise's face lit up. His lips meet Rashida's as his arms smaller around her body, crushing her as close as he could get her to him.

"Well, now that all that's out the way, you mentioned something about good morning sex?"

**END FLASHBACK**

Ginny, Hermione, and Pansy started at Rashida as if she had told them a wonderful bedtime story.

"I've been waking up wrong lately." laughed Pansy, as she was starting to feel the tension one felt when someone was about to be told something they didn't want to hear.

Hermione and Ginny had felt it as well. "Oh Rashida, you can't get married." said Hermione in a soft voice.

Rashida gave her best friend a confused look. "Why do you say that?"

"Because you're still very much in love with him." said Ginny, with Hermione and Pansy nodding their heads in agreement.

"No, no... I'm not, I...I love Dean." said Rashida hesitantly, as if it were wrong to say.

"You may love Dean, but you're still in love with Blaise, sweetheart. It was all over your face while you talked about him." said Hermione, patting the top of Rashida's hand.

"No. I can't be." Rashida protested. "I...I can't be in love with him, I can't ruin things with Dean like that. He would be devastated."

"You can't very well marry a man knowing you're in love with your ex either." said Pansy. "You have to admit it to yourself."

"Okay, so what if I am?" snapped Rashida. "What if there is some crazy chance that I am still in love with this man? What do I do?"

"Talk to him about it."

"So he can take it and run with it? So he can come to conclusion that I'm going to leave Dean for him and we will fly off into the sunset on a Nimbus 3000?!"

"No, you need to speak to him for yourself, not for him." advised Hermione. "It's for your own closure and your own piece of mind. So you can help yourself get over him. The first step is accepting and acknowledging it. And you're being stubborn."

Rashida sighed. Hermione was right, she was being very stubborn about how she truly felt. She had never stopped living Blaise, no matter how hard she had tried to. She had thought that getting with Dean would help, and though it did dull the ache, it didn't eliminate it. With Blaise's return, it had only made the ache come back full force, and with each interaction, only made things worse.

She knew what she had to do. And she would be taking a huge risk in doing it. She had to figure things out. She needed to for the sake of her upcoming marriage.

"Ginny, will the wards at the manor let me through if I apparated directly into it?"

"Well yeah, it's set up for all-"

Rashida didn't give her a chance to finished. She disappeared with a pop and reappeared in the room Blaise had been occupying in the manor.

Right into the middle of what looked like a very heated sex scene.

Rashida stood as stiff as a board not knowing what to do as she watched the covers move and heard the moans and giggles of love making. She felt the anger in her swell, causing a log that was lit in the fireplace to explode like a bomb.

"BLAISE, WHAT THE HELL IS -Ohhhhhhh shit!"

For what Rashida had interrupted was not Blaise and another woman. She had popped into the wrong room, and had ended up encountering Lucius and Narcissa, both of whom looked like alert gazelles on the Savannah as their eyes landed on Rashida.

Lucius looked as if he wanted to be anywhere but there. Narcissa, on the other hand, looked pleasantly amused.

"You looking for Blaise, darling?" she asked, as if she were fully clothed and having tea with the thunderstrucked witch.

Rashida nodded slowly, scared that if she were to open her mouth, she would scream.

"He's a wing down sweetheart." continued Narcissa. "Go out the door and keep walking to the left until you get to the stairs. It's on the other side, you can't miss it."

Rashida nodded again, quickly exiting the room as quickly as she ran down the long hallway to the staircase, and slamming right into Blaise as he was about to go down them.

"Shida, wha-"

"Where's your room?" interrupted Rashida, anxious to get inside.

"Umm...this way?" said Blaise, pointing down the hall. "Is something-"

"We need to talk. There. Now. Lead the way."

Blaise gave Rashida an apprehensive look, but complied. He led her down the hall to his room and closed the door.

"Is everything okay?"he asked.

"I just popped into something I'd rather not discuss, but that's not important right now." said Rashida with a shudder.

"Popped into? You apparated here to see me?"

"I need to talk to you, and I don't want you to interrupt me, otherwise I won't get this out " she for warned, to which Blaise nodded.

"Okay, so, I've thought about it and maybe, well...okay, so maybe there are some...feelings...still lingering around. Very strong feelings. Stronger than I would have liked."

Blaise felt as if he wanted to scoop her up, throw her onto the bed, and not resurface from her for hours, however, he braced himself for the "but" that he knew was coming.

"But, I can't go there with you. I can't do that to Dean. It's not fair."

"It isn't fair for you either, nor me." said Blaise.

"I'm aware of that, Blaise!"

"So why the fuck would you even tell me this?! So what, you came over here to tell me your care about me, but you care about that bastard even more? Thanks for fucking up my day!" yelled Blaise.

"No! I'm not trying to fuck up anything, I'm trying to figure this shit out and you need to help me!"

"You're barking. You actually think I'm going to help you feel for another man?! Would you do the same for me?"

That question stunned Rashida. Would she really let whatever she felt go for Blaise and actually help him get over her so he could get under another? She cringed at the thought of Blaise and another woman. It made her blood boil. Which was bad.

"Okay... " said Rashida, putting her hands up in surrender. "Okay, you're right. I'm selfish for asking that of you when I wouldn't do the same. But I don't want to hurt anybody. I just..."

"Look," said Blaise, calming down, "can we just have a day where we can spend some real time together and talk to each other about everything? Without interruption, without changing the subject, and just being real with each other? I believe we owe each other that. I promise I won't try anything that you don't want me to do. But we have to at least see. If you're so fucking intent on marrying this guy, that is."

"I have to tell him about it. Is only right, I am his fiance." Rashida said, not meeting Blaise's eyes.

Blaise sneered, but held back the biting words he did want to say. "Whatever. I can't control what you tell him, nor do I care. I can only care about how I feel. And most of all, how you feel about me."

Rashida couldn't help but smirk. "That is selfish as hell."

Blaise shrugged. "I've always been selfish when it comes to you. Would you have it any other way?"

"Is it bad that I kind of want to say no?"

"Not bad to me."

"Shut up."