(The Light in the Life)

A/N: Fanfiction had problems last week and some people didn't get notifications when I posted chapter 10. If you haven't read chapter 10 then please read it before continuing to this chapter. Thanks.

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I really don't own Bones.

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He hesitated before he knocked on the door. It still felt weird knocking to enter his own house, still it was what it was. After a few seconds, the door opened and Booth smiled at his wife. "Hey Bones. I thought I'd come by and talk to you about the clown case, if it's not too late."

"I'm eager to hear about it." Brennan waited until Booth entered the house, closed the door and followed him into the living room. After she sat on the chair near the window, Booth sat on the couch. "Christine is asleep."

"I understand, it is late." Booth had hoped to see his little girl, but it was nine at night and she normally went to bed by eight.

Brennan felt a little awkward treating her husband like a visitor, but at that moment that is what he was. "I appreciate the call you made to me this afternoon. I know you were under a lot of strain after killing Miller and Hannah being shot."

Booth unbuttoned his jacket and leaned back against the couch. "I told you that Miller wasn't in Altoona when we found him. He was on the way to Bethlehem, West Virginia when we caught up with him . . . Hannah had tracked him down before we did and she followed him when he left his job. She called me and let me know what was going on and gave me the road he was on."

Annoyed that Hannah had interfered in an FBI case, Brennan frowned in displeasure. "She jeopardized your case."

He agreed, but Hannah's information had been instrumental in catching the Killer Clown. "She shouldn't have tracked down Miller, but because she did she was a big help and we stopped him before he got to West Virginia . . . I would have liked to have captured Miller alive instead of killing him. He needed to stand trial for killing those kids. Their parents deserved some closure. Now Miller is dead and they'll never see him convicted for killing their children."

She hated that Booth had had to kill Miller. He had killed so many men in his life in the name of duty and she knew it bothered him a lot. "I'm sorry you had to kill him to stop him, Booth, but it sounds like you didn't have a choice." She just hoped this didn't set Booth back in his fight against his addiction.

"No, I didn't." He really hated killing, but he had grown resigned at a younger age that evil men had to be stopped and sometimes that had to be done with a bullet. "Miller shot a Sheriff's Deputy, a State Trooper and . . . and Hannah. He shot Hannah. She was standing outside of her car taking pictures of the shootout. It was a very stupid thing to do. She was shot in the shoulder."

"I know, you told me." She noticed the sadness on Booth's face and wondered if he still loved Hannah after all. "You said she was going to be alright."

He wished that Hannah hadn't been shot, but he knew she would recover and her mother would take care of her until she was well again. "Yeah, her surgeon said she won't have any permanent damage. She's lucky she didn't get killed." He didn't really want to talk about Hannah, but he thought he had better clear up any misunderstandings that Brennan might have. "I don't love Hannah, Bones. She's part of the past. I love you and I only want you."

She was relieved to hear Booth's words. "I love you too . . . Did you go to a meeting tonight?"

Her reminder of why he wasn't living at home was deliberate and Booth knew that. "No, it's too late. I'll go tomorrow."

Brennan was worried that missing any meetings would delay Booth's recovery. "Would you like to talk to me since you can't go to a meeting tonight?"

Booth wasn't sure that was a good idea. He had recently come to grips with the danger he had placed Brennan and Christine in and it filled him with shame to think about it. He had apologized to her already about it and he had meant it, but he knew he would have to talk to her about it again and make sure she knew he was sincere. He just couldn't do it at the moment. He had too much to think about and he didn't think he could voice his worries, his concerns properly. "Thanks for the offer, but I'm good. I'll just go home and go to bed. I'm tired. It's been a very long day."

She felt a little anxious about Booth's missed meeting, but she had to let him take care of it. If he thought he could miss a meeting then she felt he was probably right. He was determined to get his gambling addiction under control and she trusted him to keep working on it. "Alright . . . If you wish to talk, you may call me later. I won't mind." Besides she was having trouble sleeping by herself. It had been a hard few weeks and she missed him so much.

Thankful for her kindness, Booth stood up. "Well, I'll go home . . . I'll go now . . . I'll talk to you tomorrow."

She followed him to the door. She wanted to kiss him goodbye, but she knew she couldn't. "Bye." Once he was gone, she went to her bedroom and lay down. She wasn't sleepy, but she was tired. It had been a long day and she was so sad and so lonely. She wanted her husband back home, but she wasn't sure she could trust him to refrain from gambling. It was a trust issue for her. It was always about trust.

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He lay in bed and stared at the ceiling. He was tired and he should be asleep, but he just couldn't turn his mind off. Rolling onto his side, he stared at the phone lying on the nightstand and debated with himself. "She did say I could call." Frustrated, he threw off his blanket and sat on the edge of his bed. Glancing at his watch, he saw it was 11:16. Not too late, right? The phone now in his hand, he called her. If she didn't want to talk she could hang up. "This is Booth."

Is everything alright?

"Yeah, I just couldn't sleep and you said I could call." He was starting to regret calling her. She was pregnant and needed her sleep. "Look, I'm sorry, it's late. You need your sleep. I'll talk to you tomorrow. Night." He ended the call and placed the phone back on the nightstand. He felt so restless and that was starting to worry him.

The phone rang and he answered it. "Booth." He saw it was Brennan and wondered what she was going to say.

Why did you call me then hang up? That seems an odd way to behave.

His cheeks burned from embarrassment. "I'm sorry . . . I'm just so restless and I was hoping you were awake and you would talk to me, but then I realized it was so late . . ."

I wasn't asleep, Booth. I find that I am restless too. If you wish to talk to me, then you may. I was just reading.

Glad he hadn't woken her up, Booth leaned back against his headboard to get a little more comfortable. "I don't know why I'm so restless . . . well, I do, I guess. Um . . . look Bones, I should be saying this to you face to face, but, I'm sorry . . . I'm sorry that I gambled and I let things get out of hand. I thought I could handle it, but I couldn't. You're right, it wasn't a mistake. It was deliberate and I really am sorry. I never meant for it to go as far as it did and I never meant to place you or Christine in harms way . . . I do promise you that I will never gamble again. I won't betray your trust like that . . . I just . . . I have a lot of work to do, but I think I'll get my life back in order."

She had waited for these words for weeks and now he had said them. "Thank you." She wasn't sure what else to say. She didn't want him to stop going to the meetings. She was afraid if she allowed him to come home too soon, he would fail again. What was to keep him from gambling again if she let him come home? She couldn't be the instrument of his failure. "I am on your side, Booth. If you need my help, you have but to ask . . . Would you like to come over tomorrow night for dinner?"

"God, would I? Thank you." He was surprised that she was offering, but he wasn't about to turn her down. "Would you like me to bring anything? I can bring dessert."

"Thank you." She heard the happiness in his voice and she knew that the invitation would probably settle down his restlessness. She knew him and she knew that he missed her and Christine. "If you wish, you can bring an apple pie . . . you do understand it is just for dinner?"

He knew. "One step at a time, Bones. I know."

"Alright, I'll see you tomorrow night, unless we have a case, in which case I will see you then." The call ended, Brennan placed the phone back in its charger and lay down. Strangely, she felt more relaxed than she had for the last few days. Suddenly sleepy, she closed her eyes and found the sleep that had been eluding her earlier.

Booth placed the phone back on his nightstand and lay back down, covering his body with his discarded blanket. Less anxious than before his talk to Brennan, his body seemed to be more relaxed and his mind wasn't buzzing with thoughts. Filled with a sense of peace, he fell asleep.

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