This chapter is sponsored by... The Pyro/Jungle Update. When in all of piss does it get here?!
Chapter 9: Hot and Humid
Scientist: Alright Pyro, if you feel a pinch, just scream.
Pyro: Si, Científico.
It had been two months since Scientist helped Pyro out of Pyroland. No one, but Scientist and Medic knew about the secret of Pyro's gender. The mad doctor and firebug had proceeded to become good friends after the ordeal, always helping each other on and off the battlefield. As Scientist said, crazy people had to stick together. Right now, Pyro was helping Scientist with a cavity disrupter for his teeth. Currently, both were still on BLU, with Heavy, Engineer, Medic, and Spy.
Pyro: Are you sure this is safe?
Scientist: Yep! Math says that a 90% outcome of no cavities, with a 10% chance of losing all of your teeth.
Pyro: Better than last time. Esa pobre rata.
Scientist: Yeah, but Sir Fuzzy will be fed liquid food from now on.
Just as Scientist was going to turn on the machine, there was a knock at the door. Pyro put on her mask, while Scientist walked over to the door and opened it, revealing Medic on the other side.
Medic: Guten Tag, mein freunde. I have something special here for Scientist.
Scientist: What is it?
Medic reached into his coat and pulled out a magazine, handing it to Scientist.
Medic: Zhe newest Mann co catalog came in and there are new cosmetic items for the three new classes.
Scientist: Ohhh, thanks doc! I'll have a look at this.
Medic: Bitte, Herr Doctor.
Scientist closed the door and walked over to his desk. He began looking for anything that would interest him. Pyro walked over and looked with him, curious to see if any cosmetics look good to her.
Scientist: Ok, I think I'll go with the Eye Protectors, the Doc Holiday and the Speed Sneakers. You see anything good?
Pyro: No, nothing that interests me.
Scientist: Alright, I'll go order the stuff, then I'll be back for the cavity disrupter.
Scientist went to the other room to call Mann co. to order his new cosmetics.
*1 hour later*
The new cosmetics arrived for all of the three recruits some time later. Scientist's stuff was a pair of goggles that messed up his hair, a Hawaiian shirt under his lab coat and a new pair of sneakers.
When Decoy and Strategist got the catalog, hey weren't up for cosmetics that much. Although, everyone else had them, so it wasn't anything to complain about. There were even weapons for them. Strategist got some Land Mines to replace her bear traps and a new shotgun called the Fighter's Flight (lower clip, but insane knockback) with the Flyer's Coat (a leather pilot's jacket), the Bomber's Basics (a belt with bomb supplies on it) and the Polite Pilot (A pilot's cap with her symbol on it). Decoy got Sharp Stars (shurikens) and the Steel Slice(a ninja combat fan). Also, she got the Cape of Shadows, the Wooden Slippers and the Dragon's Scales (a new outfit that was loose team tinted black ninja pajamas with a ninja veil). When the two got their new items, the headed off to the rec room. When they got there, everyone was in a conversation.
Demo: ...it's just, around these times is when a big event happens. Nothin's happened yet!
Decoy: Excuse us, What big event?
Sniper: Oh, 'ello sheilas. I'll explain. Every time we get a Mann co. catalog, we got ta do some crazy thing and/or get changes to our weapons.
Scout: Yeah, and we haven't gotten a call yet, so we must be off da hook.
Just then the phone rang, causing Soldier to hit Scout in the back of the head, mumbling something about a cursed maggot. Sniper got up and answered the phone.
Sniper: 'ello.
Voice: Sniper, it's Pauling. I got a mission for you. As it stands, you and BLU are in a stalemate until the mission is complete.
Sniper: Woah, mate, slow down. We're working with BLU? And what mission is this?
Miss Pauling: The mission that will send you and BLU to the jungles of Brazil.
The stalemate was put into effect immediately after the call, since TF Industries was hired to scout out the jungles of Brazil in search of a lost city and secure it's treasure. If any one was found going to the city, send them the wrong way and/or neutralize them. The two teams had to wear their RED and BLU uniforms, so that was a trust issue brewing. On the plus side, they had a portable respawn in the plane they're taking. Also, it was a private military plane they were taking, since mercs on a common plane could cause some… issues with civilians.
On the plane everyone did their own things away from the opposite team. Scientist and Medic talked about the secret project, Pyro drew some pictures in crayon, Heavy cleaned his Iron Curtain, Spy read a book, Engineer looked over his blueprints, Soldier and Demo played cards, Strategist studied the various jungles on a map, Decoy sat patiently the whole flight, Sniper polished his knifes, and Scout tossed his baseball around.
Sniper: So, remind me again truckie, what's the mission?
Engineer groaned and turned towards Sniper.
Engineer: It's simple, stretch. We get to Brazil and make our way through the jungles. With the map we were provided, we go towards the supposed lost city and collect the treasure there. Once done, we bring the treasures back to the client and we get payed. There are others wanting that treasure, so the Administrator says to neutralize them.
Sniper: Too easy, mate. Lady should've give us a harder mission. This should be enjoyable.
Heavy: It is not enjoyable with REDs here.
Soldier: What was that, comrade?!
Heavy: You heard Heavy.
Soldier: Oooh, I'm going to strangle you with your own frilly training bra, you red menace!
Decoy: Enough of this arguing, please.
Soldier: Why is that, Hiroshima?! Are you for these BLUs here?! Are you their spy!?
Decoy: No, it is because we are here.
This prompted everyone to look out the windows of the plane as it landed at a small airport, near a small city. The mercs got off the plane and unloaded their weapons and supplies. They gathered at the mouth of the jungle, with jeeps to carry their supplies. Engineer and Strategist looked at the map to see where they should go.
Strategist: It seems that there's a canyon in between the area we have to go through. We'll have to drive slowly down and up it to cross.
Engineer: Yeah. Also, there's a river a little while after, not a problem for the jeeps.
The two chatted for a while, then turned to the ready mercs, eager to start the mission.
Engineer: Alright guys, let's get along and no fighting each other.
The jeeps pushed onward into the jungle, starting a whole new adventure for the group of mercs.
The mercs traveled for a while, crossing small streams, large trees and mountains of great height. So far, the only fight was between Medic and Scout about the latter annoying the former. As the sun was setting, they had covered lots of ground where they were at the canyon by sundown. Sniper had go to take a leak, while everyone had set up camp for the night. Scientist and Decoy were setting a tent when a lone bird flew down to them.
Scientist: Oh, what is this now?
Decoy: It is just a bird, doctor. We are in a jungle after all.
Scientist: I know, but this little guy's alone.
The bird was small, with a little yellow beak and white feathers with a grey patch over it's eye. From the looks of it, it had been through a real tussle. Scientist brought out a healing bomb and broke it near the bird. The gas leaked out and healed it back to health. Afterwards, he fed the bird an apple.
Decoy: Now is not the time for simple minded animals, doctor.
Scientist: Oh, come on. This little guy seems to be a Melopsittacus undulatus or a common parakeet. They're not from around this area of the world, so I wonder why it's here.
The bird flew up to the doctor and landed on his shoulder, cleaning its feathers.
Scientist: Oh, you're such a cutey. This bird seems to like me.
Decoy rolled her eyes at the display and went back to work. Why did this doctor have to be so weird? As camp was done, Sniper came running back, a look of fear on his face.
Sniper: Mates! We got trouble!
In the canyon below was an entire training camp of sorts. Tents were everywhere surrounded by a chain fence, with some troops running around doing drills and maneuvers, while others lounged around. All of the mercs were hidden on top of the cliff, looking down at the camp. Scientist, luckily had his experimental portable amplifier, which broadcasts sounds from a long ways away.
Soldier: Alright BLU, Hurry it up!
Scientist: Hold on, bucket head. Almost…. Got it!
The machine picked up a conversation in one of the more larger tents.
Voice 1: Have the trackers been successful in their attempts to find the city?
Voice 2: No, Mr. Ashack, they are still working on it. It is tough finding a lost city.
Mr. Ashack: Well hurry up! We aren't getting younger here! That cheap prick got the map before me, so I have to track it the hard way!
Voice 2: Yes, sir. As you wish, sir.
With that the conversation ended, causing the line to go dead. The mercs sat up on the cliff, not knowing what to do now. It was twelve verses practically an army. Than, Soldier got up in front of the mercs to speak.
Soldier: Men and ladies, these are the facts as I understand them! One: we are outnumbered and outgunned. Two: We will die from a full frontal attack. So, I say we leave this to the more brainy maggots!
Soldier gestured to Engi, Scientist and Strategist. The three looked around to see everyone's eyes on them.
Engineer: Well, we'll need to speak privately to come up with a plan.
Strategist: Also, Spy and Medic can help with planning as well. We'll need all of the brains for this one.
The group of five go off to their camp to plan out the attack. Hopefully it would be enough to slow down this Mr. Ashack.
*1 Hour later*
Scientist: Alright everyone, you know your jobs?
Everyone nodded. The sun just had set and the darkness of night was around them. In the canyon, the camp was lit up with floodlights. The mercs got into their positions, ready to enact the plan.
A little chapter hope towards the update in hopes it gets here soon. I'm currently sitting on pins and needles waiting for the TF team to be finished.