Chapter 1:

It had been a full week since Jane had paid a visit to Miss Bingley and had yet to hear from her. She had anxiously waited every morning—avoiding leaving the house—hoping that Caroline would come. But she had not. And though it had taken Jane longer than she knew it would have taken Lizzie, Jane knew she that Caroline would not come.

A fresh set of tears threatened to stream down her beautiful face. Jane wiped them away, allowing herself to quietly mourn what she had been preventing herself from feeling.

Mr. Bingley left me.

Lizzie had been sure of his affection, so had her mother and all the inhabitants of Meryton. But his affection had not been enough. She did not doubt that he had felt something for her but it could not be strong enough to secure his intention of proposing from his meddling friends. For now she knew that Caroline was behind this. But Jane found that she was not angry at Caroline, merely disappointed since she had thought their friendship was genuine.

Ah, my dear Jane, Lizzie would say, always so kind and thinking the best of others.

"No Lizzie" said Jane in a whisper, "I will not change my essence. I do not begrudge her. But I cannot forgive him."

Her solace was interrupted by Mrs. Gardiner.

"My dear, are you well?" she said, entering the bedroom.

"Yes, Aunt" said Jane, standing up a bit straighter, "I am very well."

"I will not push you to confide in me, you know already that I am always here."

"I know" she said with a sigh, "and I know I do not always have to look strong. I actually do not feel very strong." Mrs. Gardiner approached her beloved niece and sat next to her.

"Jane" she began, reaching for her hand, "You are very strong indeed. And yet there is nothing wrong with feeling. That is what makes us human."

"You are right" answered Jane and allowed the tears to fall. "I feel so foolish—no, not foolish, I am not quite sure what I feel" she said after a few minutes of letting herself feel. "I had thought his affection and resolution was stronger. Yes, it is painful...rejection is painful, however, that is not what is currently on my mind. Would I truly be happy with a man who let himself be influenced so easily by others? Either his affection was not strong enough or he is that easily swayed. Either way, I cannot and will not marry such a man"

"You speak as if you are sure that he would renew his pursuit"

"I think he would, given the chance by his friends, but it would no longer be welcomed. I have reflected a lot these past couple of weeks and have found myself...I had to lose him to really discover...you see Aunt, Lizzie and I always pledged to marry for love but now I see that we were really very foolish to think that, given our situation in life. I know it is not dire but neither do we have luxury to chose. When he came along, I felt that I could have both but I see that it is not possible."

"Oh Jane, you still can darling"

"Oh no dearest Aunt, you know it is not so" said Jane, standing up and walking towards the window, "It is not in our society for women to have a choice. My only choice is who and when, not if. I will marry, but not for love. I think love can grow, I told that once to Lizzie, I need a man whom I can respect and who will respect me in return. That I will not compromise on"

"I think respect is very important" said Mrs. Gardiner, happy for her niece but at the same time grieved. It was something very unkind to be heartbroken and to be forced to reconcile with past notions. "But do not put love out of the question"

"I will not" said Jane, smiling. I truly won't.

–

With re-found confidence, Jane dressed meticulously every morning and attended any and all invitations. In a matter of two weeks she had dined at the Caresols and the Tinkeys, gone to the theater, and taken many walks by Hyde Park. She had asked Mrs. Gardiner for assistance for Jane did not want to waste the opportunity of being in London. Though she knew the Gardiners carried themselves in different circles that gentlemen, Jane found that she was not opposed to marrying someone in trade. After all, Mr. Bingley had acquired his money through trade and had been very amiable.

It was with this mentality that she set out to dinner for the second time at the Caresols, in the company of Mrs. Gardiner. Mrs. Laura Caresols was a close friend of Mrs. Gardiner, their husbands had done business together and had stroked a friendship. Though Laura was a gentlewoman she was very pleased to have married her dear Thomas who was very successful and provided her many comforts. Jane had always been intrigued by her but now was even more than ever. Perhaps I will emulate her example, thought Jane, and for a gentlewoman, she looks quite pleased.

"Ah Laura, thank you for having us again" said Mrs. Gardiner.

"My pleasure and I am glad your beautiful niece could join us, welcome Miss Bennet" said Laura, showing them into the drawing room. It was as grand as Netherfields but much more welcoming. "Please do sit down, let me introduce you. This is Mr. Dalligan, you know the Segels and of course, Mr. Davidson."

After being properly introduced, Jane sat next to Mr. Dalligan who was looking at her suspiciously. Here she had a chance to look at him. He looked not older than twenty and eight, had a pleasing constitution, and a very enchanting smile. His green eyes, she noticed, twinkled with amusement. He was looked at her expectantly, as if she were to throw herself into his arms. Jane could hear Lizzie's cynical commentary and muffled a laugh.

"Pray, Miss Bennet, what do you find humorous? For I love to laugh" he said, bowing a curt nod and motioning for her to sit next to him.

"I am sure you do, Mr. Dalligan. I was simply noticing the amusement you held, perhaps assuming my intentions in sitting near you. But let me assure that this is simply the only spot available"

"My, you do not seem like a cynical creature" said Mr. Dalligan, feeling rather happy at having presumed wrong.

"Perhaps looks are deceiving, Mr. Dalligan" responded Jane, smiling at him. She was genuinly smiling, a real laugh wanting to come forth, for the first time in weeks.

"Perhaps we should start over Miss Bennet, it is a pleasure to make your acquaintance" he said, smirking as he kissed her hand.

"Likewise, Mr. Dalligan" said Jane, sitting down and positioning her hands gently on her lap. She caught the twinkle in his eyes—he had expected her to be proper. Well, was she not supposed to be? She immediately felt she knew him—he was so much like Lizzie—pushing limits and questioning norms.

"You seem deep in thought" he commented, hoping she would divulge her secrets.

"I was simply noting that you remind me of my sister, Elizabeth. She also seems to enjoy the unexpected and laugh at the expense of others"

"I do not know if to be insulted or fascinated that such a creature exists"

"She is truly wonderful—you see, I assure you, I am not the cynical one" she said, "However, I have found that those that hide behind cynicism are protecting themselves for disappointment"

"So you are the philosophical one?"

"Not at all. I am merely the proper one, as you have already surmised. I am the dutiful daughter" she said, the last words tasting like sand in her mouth. She opened her mouth to say more but found that she did not want to expound. It would not be proper for her to discuss her heartache nor the pressure she felt.

"I see I have stroke a chord"

"Don't we all, Mr. Dalligan? Pray, tell me, how much is your worth? For your reaction at my approaching you let me know that you are constantly looked at as prey." said Jane, reaching for the tea had been poured while they were talking.

"Now that question is entirely not proper Miss Bennet" he said, giving her an enchanting smile.

Rich and handsome, thought Jane, she felt herself blush and looked down, avoiding his knowing eyes.

"Though I will say that I am quite a catch, though perhaps not for those reasons"

"Oh?"

"Are you disappointed?" he asked, clearly testing her.

"On the contrary, the same way you want to be worthy for other than your wealth, I would like to be worthy for more than just my beauty. So while you may look at me disdainfully as I was walking towards you, I can assure you I feel the same way when men approach me. So you see Mr. Dalligan, I quite understand you"

"I am merely a tradesman who has had moderate luck in the industry, trying to carve out my own way"

"That sounds like an accomplishment, Mr. Dalligan. I am sure many ladies would respect such an endeavor" she said, and respect such a man, she thought.

"Miss Bennet, Mr. Dalligan, would you like to join us in the dining room?" said Mrs. Caresol, with an amused smile on her face. Jane immediately blushed and Mr. Dalligan smirked.

"May I escort you, Miss Bennet?" he asked politely, ever so the gentleman.

"Thank you" said Jane, and took his arm quietly, letting him lead her into the dining room.

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This is a story I took down a while back and now I'm re-publishing, editing it along the way. This is probably my favorite story that I've written...Let me know what you think!