Well, that update's got most of my attention, but i got this out as soon as I did. Also worth mentioning that original Soldier now wheres the Tin Pot instead of the Team Captain and original Medic now wheres the Berlin Brain Bowl, the Ward, and the Medicine Manpurse.
Chapter 18: The Jungle Inferno
It was a few days after Halloween, another match between RED and BLU, this time on Pipeline, mission payload race. Sniper was in the window of a building looking over the raging battle with his Sniper Rifle, shooting anyone that got in his vision. As Sniper took another shot to a BLU, the phone rang in the room he was in. Sniper unscoped and answered the phone, usually it never rang.
Sniper: 'Ello, I think ya got the wrong number, mate.
Miss Pauling: Sniper, it's Pauling, I… are-are you peeing into a jar right now?
Sniper: Yeah. Gotta relieve moiself. Whatcha need, shelia?
Miss Pauling: Oh, the originals were hired again by another company. Time to pack your bags.
Sniper: K, shelia, where- op, hold on.
Sniper scoped his rifle and aimed down range at BLU Heavy. He took the shot, having the pained cry of BLU Heavy echo from the battle.
Sniper: Sorry about that. Where's the bloody mission and who hired us this time?
Miss Pauling: Hold on *rustling papers* Let's see. Apparently Mann Co. hired you guys. Saxton Hale himself.
Sniper: Really? Hale must be in some deep water. What about da location? *rifle shot*
Miss Pauling: Yeah, that's the big one...
The clones were commissioned to continue fighting in the Badlands while the originals traveled to a tropical island off the coast of Colombia that belongs to Saxton Hale and Mann Co. Apparently, his workers there were killed all of the sudden by something or someone, so he thought sending twelve unstable mercenaries there would fix it. When the mercs got to the island by boat, they all split up into different groups to search the facility. Group 1 was Spy, Scout and Strategist, who were to inspect the old weapons factory near the main compound, Group 2 was Pyro, Soldier, Sniper and Decoy, who were searching the outer area of the weapons facility and main compound and Group 3 was Medic, Scientist, Heavy, Demo and Engineer who searched the few buildings at the main area.
Group 2 was making its 3rd time around the weapons factory when Group 1 managed to get into the factory through the air ducts. Spy, Scout and Strategist dropped into what appeared to be a loading dock, managing to not make a lot of noise from their fall. Scout flicked on a flashlight and moved it around the dark area.
Scout: No sign of 'em here. You guys see anything?
Scout spoke to Group 2 through his headset, with Pyro answering.
Pyro: Nmmph oophm heepmh.
Strategist: Maybe they left the island already.
Spy: Doubtful. This was a very recent event and I'm sure no boats have come or gone since. Here's to say our culprit does not know how to drive a boat.
The three walked a few steps into the darkness of the dock, when a loud noise similar to a roar made Scout jump back on Spy and Strategist.
Scout: Ahhh! That's- probably nothing! Just a-a-a car backfiring or possibl-
Scout couldn't finish his sentence as he slipped and fell on something. He recovered quickly and grabbed the flashlight to see what he slipped on. Pools of blood and claw marks were on the floor in front of the group.
Scout: What the…? Guys, you seeing this? Guys?
Spy and Strategist didn't answer, since Spy had put his hand on Strategist's shoulder and activated his Cloak and Dagger. All Scout heard were two sets of feet hurriedly walking towards the door.
Scout: BLUs.
Another sound startled Scout in the distant dark, causing him to panic.
Scout: Who's there?! Is somebody there?! Cause you..uh… left all your blood and… some... claw marks...
Scout shined the light around until it stopped on a pair of boots with no pants standing a few feet away. The feet started walking towards Scout, in a calm way.
Scout: Please let there be pants! Please let there be pants! Please let there be pants! Please let there be pants!
Scout lifted the light to see the figure more, seeing that he did have shorts on.
Scout: Oh thank Go-
The figure lifted Scout from the ground forcefully and held him in a headlock underarm. The light showed the figure fully, revealing him to be the ever manly, Saxton Hale.
Scout: Let me go now OK, let me go-
Saxton Hale put his hand over Scout's mouth and shushed him.
Saxton Hale: It can smell fear. It's close, I know it.
*At Group 2*
Off in the outer area of the facility, Group 2 were busy looking around the jungle to see if they could find anything that was out of place or the culprit itself. All they've found so far were crates of bananas marked for the facility's use. Sniper slashed through another plant with his Bushwacka, with the others in tow. Sniper wiped his brow from the heat and humidity before he spoke.
Sniper: Can't believe we got another jungle mission! This place is loike an oven.
Pyro: Gmmph umph to mph. Mph Hmph m mpph spph mp. (Get used to it. I have a hot suit on.)
Decoy: We must be strong. Whatever is out there could be hunting us!
Sniper: Yer roight, sheila. Let's keep moving. Soldier, hurry up ya wanka!
The three walked ahead more, but Soldier was lagging a few feet behind, enjoying himself with a fresh banana from the crates. From the corner of his eye, Soldier thought he saw something moving in the bushes. He finally saw what it was when it came at him at full force, causing him to scream and run to the others. Luckily, they heard him and turned around, seeing what was causing Soldier to scream. Unluckily, it was already upon them, kicking Sniper into a compound wall, stepping on Pyro and throwing Decoy into a big boulder, sending them all to the portable spawn that they brought. Soldier took a shot with his shotgun to try and stop it, but it tore his arm off and knocked him out of the way, where Soldier bled to death.
*A few minutes earlier*
The scream Soldier let loose made it to Hale and Scout's position in the factory. A wide grin grew on Hale's face as he heard the scream.
Saxton Hale: Heh heh, there you are!
Hale ran head first into the wall, still carrying Scout in his headlock and left a hole in the wall in the shape of Australia. In the jungle, Scout was being hit with plants as Hale ran towards whatever was out there that attacked Group 2.
Scout: Ow! Please-ow-slow down!
Saxton Hale: Everybody said don't do it!
He threw Scout over the electric fence that was in their way, dove through it and caught Scout in a bridal pose as he continued to run.
Saxton Hale: Ya can't build a theme park with the deadliest animals on Earth!
They continued to run over the terrain as Hale went on.
Saxton Hale: They'll escape! Nature foinds a way!
They ran and ran until a cliff was seen in front of them. Scout started to panic and tried to loosen Hale's grip, but to no luck.
Saxton Hale: Hahaha, That was the whole bloody point!
Hale proceeded to jump off the cliff with Scout screaming from the fall. They landed in a compound similar to what holds animals in zoos. In front of the two, a yeti was breaking Soldier's lower back as he screamed in pain, before it threw him over the two. Sniper's unconscious body was at it's feet and a beaten Decoy slopped against a tree to its right. The yeti noticed the two and angrily pounded the ground.
Scout: Oh dear God no!
Saxton Hale: Heh, don't worry, son! Stick with me and you'll be just foine.
The yeti roared at the two, as it charged and Hale got Scout in a position to hit the yeti.
Scout: Oh God yeti no yeti please run yeti this-
Scout was used as a bat to make the yeti fly back to the boxes behind it. Hale charged at the yeti, but it blocked his Scout bat hit, leaving Scout face to face with it. Scout chuckled nervously, but the yeti roared in his face, causing him to let out a girly scream. The yeti punched the two back, then roared while pounding its chest. Hale chuckled at the sight, but Scout was ready to give in.
Scout: Please no.
Hale threw Scout like a log sideways as he spun towards the yeti, screaming. Hale ran up to Scout, used him as a step as he lept in the air and spun around in a circle.
Saxton Hale: YETI PUNCH!
Hale punched the yeti in the chest so hard, that it exploded into blood, bits, and organs. Hale laughed at the rain of blood, brushing off the bits that landed on him.
Saxton Hale: Welcome... to Yeti Par-
Hale was interrupted by his blocky cell phone ringing. He reached into his pocket and answered it.
Saxton Hale: Saxton Hale here! Yep, another one escaped. Yeah I killed it. No this time it exploded! Oh the kids are gonna love it.
In front of Hale, Scout was sitting up in pain from the abuse he got from being Hale's personal bat and Soldier was crawling closer to Scout, his legs being paralyzed from his broken spine, an easy fix by Medic's standpoint. The others were also gathering with Scout and Soldier, looking at Hale.
Saxton Hale: Anyway, we need more yetis. No more left huh. Extinct you say. Bidwell, I'll be square with ya, it's a yeti fighting park! If I don't have a yeti, it's just a fighting park! Where am I gonna find a group of lunatics, willing to come all this way, just to foight-
Hale turned to see the mercs staring at him in either smugness or pain. Scout and Soldier were still on the ground. Spy had reappeared with Strategist behind them, Sniper held his back in pain, Pyro was holding a yeti arm for some reason and Decoy was holding her head, two black eyes and bruises all over it.
Saxton Hale: Ta foight each other.
Both teams were flown out to Yeti Park as soon as possible, being hired fully, both clones and originals, to fight in the park and other jungle areas by Hale's orders. As soon as the teams were all settled into their bases in the park, a medium sized crate showed up at the base's rec rooms as they were out. Right now, RED was looking over the crate in fascination.
RED Demo: What do you lads think it it?
Heavy: Supplies. Hale did say we will stay here for while.
Decoy: We will not know by standing here. Let us open the crate.
RED Engineer managed to open the create and look inside.
RED Engineer: Looks like some sorta PDA system. Enough for all of us ta have one.
RED Engie passed the different PDAs to his team, having them boot up the tablets as they got them. RED Engie also pulled out a piece of paper from the create.
RED Engineer: "Dear mercs, I give ya this PDA system to do some jobs around the park and areas for me. They're coming out of yer pay by the way. Instructions in the system. Ever manly, Saxton Hale." What in tarnation does that mean?
RED Scientist: Hmm. According to the PDA, Hale wants us to fight in some way pertaining to what we can do and who we fight and we'll get what's called Blood Money as a reward to spend at the park gift shop. We can get various cosmetics and War Paints in their using the money.
Heavy: What is 'War Paint'?
RED Scientist: Ooooh. We use them to make our weapons have different skins. Almost all of our weapons can get a skin, not just the stock.
Scout: Oh hell yeah! That sounds sick. What else is there?
RED Scientist: Apparently, doing Hale's tasks has the chance of us getting exclusive items. Hats ,War Paints, etc.
RED Strategist: I don't know about you blokes, but this is starting to sound like a holiday to me.
RED Spy: We could use a vacation. No other way to do it than to kill the BLUs.
Sniper: Eh doc, when is this foightin' startin' anyways?
RED Scientist: Uhhh, in a few hours. Hale needs to get somethings sorted out before we have at it.
Scout: Cool. That gives us enough time to tell you guys how I killed the yeti all by myself.
Everyone scoffed or groaned at the bostonian as he started to tell his story of the yeti.
Scientist and BLU Decoy were sent out to the old weapons factory to scrounge around and see if there are any weapons for the teams to use for the up and coming battle. The lights had come back on in the building, so it was easier to look around. It appeared that there were crates for each class in the factory, so they loaded the truck they got with the crates before heading off. Before they left, Scientist and BLU Decoy took one more lap around the factory to see if there was anything deeper in.
Scientist: Really creepy place. Thank goodness the yeti's dead or I'd be afraid of coming around here.
BLU Decoy: Yetis have been known to be strong creatures. My family has once told of one who was slayed by an old leader.
Scientist: Huh. How long ago was this?
BLU Decoy: Some time around the first World War.
The two searched deeper into the factory for a while, before coming upon what looked like a development lab. The two entered the lab to inspect if there were any weapons to use. After looking around, all they could find was a lone crate tucked in the corner under a tarp.
Scientist: Huh. Must have been weapons being ready to ship out before the factory closed.
BLU Decoy: Well, maybe something good is inside. Let us open the crate.
Scientist got a crowbar from the lab counter and proceeded to force the crate open. He looked inside the crate to find items he never think he would see.
Scientist: Decoy, look at this.
BLU Decoy: What? What is… Oh my gods. Not these kinds of weapons!
Scientist: Ok. I need you to get both Pyros to meet me here. They need to see these.
BLU Decoy: Is that a good idea?
Scientist: Probably not, but oh well. We can't hide these things forever. Just go get them.
*1 Hour Later*
Both Pyros were told to meet at the old weapons factory so Scientist could show them something important. Both were uneasy with their counterpart next to them, but they managed to keep it together. BLU Decoy had left to go back to the base, so the two Pyros had their masks off.
Scientist: So, you two are probably wondering why I called you out here.
BLU Pyro: Si, that would be bueno, doctora.
Scientist: Well, BLU Decoy and I were looking around the factory to find any weapons to use in the battle that were up to date. Even though we found crates for each class on each team, this crate we found in a development lab is very special.
Scientist proceeded to reach into the box and pull out a large, heavy object that surprised both Pyros. A whole new flamethrower! It had a handle similar to a leaf blower, but the rest looked nice, sleak and new.
Pyro: Dios mios! What is this beautiful weapon?
Scientist: According to the papers that are in here, It's called the Dragon's Fury. Able to project a powerful, single shot flame for accuracy reward. It also reduces reload time as you hit consecutively.
BLU Pyro: Is there anything else?! More rainbow- I mean fire makers.
Scientist reached into the crate again and held out a blue gas canister with Pyro's symbol on it.
Scientist: The Gas Passer. Throw this at enemies and they'll be covered in a visible gas, where any damage taken can set the enemy of fire, even your counterpart.
Pyro: ¡Ha llegado el día de la promesa!
Scientist handed the Gas Passer to BLU Pyro before reaching into the crate again, this time pulling out a grey glove similar to their current gloves.
Scientist: The Hot Hand. Hitting enemies with this heated glove gives you a speed boost, but it is 20% less powerful than your regular axe. Oh, this next one is my favorite.
Scientist reached into the crate and pulled out the final weapon, a red colored, twin rocket jetpack. Both Pyro's eyes grew wide at the sight.
Scientist: The Thermal Thruster. This jetpack fires a shot blast that has you fly into the air, before eventually crash landing on someone, which deals lots of damage if you land on said person.
Scientist handed the weapons to the Pyros, who were in shock that they were getting all of this stuff.
BLU Pyro: We get all of this?
Scientist: Yeah! This crate was supposed to ship out a few years ago, but the factory closed and were never sent out. There's also a health giving banana in the crate that says Heavy would have gotten.
The Pyros were so happy. New weapons to set people on fire with, a Smissmas miracle if it was actually Smissmas. They both tightly hugged Scientist for their new weapons, the latter turning a deep shade of purple from the constricting hug.
Medic: Kamerad, are you zhere?
Scientist managed to get out of the two firebugs' grasp to answer Medic on the handheld radio.
Scientist: Yeah Medic. Whatcha need?
Medic: The battle will start in 2 hours. Ve could use zhose veapons that you got from zhe factory so ve can inspect zhem for any malfunctions.
Scientist: On my way, doc.
Scientist piled the weapon crates, the two Pyros, and himself into the truck and drove off to the bases to drop off the weapons to both teams.
The teams had gotten their new weapons an hour before the fighting began, so they could look them over with their papers and check to see how different they were. The REDs looked over the weapons to their excitement, but some were let down.
Scout: You freaking kidding me?! My Sandman won't stun those BLUs anymore, just slow them to keep firing!
Decoy: Do not complain, there are other weapons you have.
Scout: I guess the Atomizer. I won't get hurt by the third jump no more, so that's good. At least the Winger's safe.
Soldier: Ooorah! The Righteous Bison is back to it's old self.
Sniper: Why are you happy? You rarely used that gun.
Soldier: Yes, but Mann Co. made it useless entirely, so it is back! What about you, camper!?
Sniper: Nothing much. Most of moi old stuff was left the same, but the Darwin's and the Razorback got changed. Never used those anyways.
Heavy: Ah, Sasha is better, but fist weapons have changed.
Sniper: Oi, look at Pyro.
Pyro was on the couch hugging her new Thermal Thruster and Dragon's Fury, very much happy to have new weapons.
Heavy: Yes, Pyro got new weapons fair and square. Flamethrower is also fixed, I have read.
Scout: Oh great! Hopefully I won't die so much that afterburn now. How 'bout you, Decoy?
Decoy: It appears I can carry more shurikens from the previous 4 maximum. Other than that, my weapons are still good to use.
Heavy: Wonder how other team is doing.
*At BLU's base*
Medic: Oh, zhe Vita-saw collect organs now! Hehe, wunderbar.
Scientist: Careful, doc. Don't wanna have a fit over this. Luckily, the Multi-Gun hasn't sparked in 3 days, so it's working...sort of.
Engineer: Woowee, good thing I stopped using the Rescue Ranger. I need metal ta heal my buidin's now.
Demo: Oh my. Me Claidheamh Mor got it's old power back. More knighting fer this thing hahaha!
Strategist: Well, seems we got some good stuff in these crates.
Spy: Not entirely. The Dead Ringer and Ambassador are now more difficult for me to use now.
Medic: Oh, don't be such a baby. You barely used zhose veapons to begin vith. Vhat about you, Strategist?
Strategist: My Fighter's Flight isn't as powerful, but can still knockback far and my Land Mines have a faster arming time. I'll probably set more traps with these now.
Medic: Looks like everyone vins, ja?
Suddenly, the intercom for the base turned on, having Saxton Hale's voice come through it.
Saxton Hale: Listen mercs! It's time ta battle! Get yer butts out there and have at it! HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Scientist: OK. Let's get the others and head over to the spawn.
The BLUs gathered their weapons and headed off towards the spawn to get ready for the impending battle in Mercenary Park.
Saxton Hale: 3,2,1… FIGHT, HAHAHAHA!
RED Demo stepped out with RED Engie, Heavy, and Soldier and shot at the advancing BLUs. RED Demo shot a grenade from his Grenade Launcher past the BLUs and to the feet of BLU Soldier. It blew up, taking the BLU Soldier and the floor above him with it. Outside, BLU Scout was running along the scaffolding towards the REDs on the other side, when Pyro flew over him and back down to the ground. She held out the Dragon's Fury and let out a shot that hit BLU Sniper, knocking him into the croc infested waters. She flew back up into the air above the buildings, then fell back down to the ground, landing on her feet and continuing to cause havoc.
Saxton Hale: Welcome... to Mercenary Park!