The days passed in an endless blur for Bucky. He woke up late in the day, picked Becca up from school, listened to her ramble a mile a minute as they walked home, then he'd do a few chores for his ma, eat dinner, and cry himself to sleep every night. He was depressed and he knew it, but he also couldn't bring himself to care. His mindless daily cycle, however, was broken by a call from Peggy Carter.
Bucky had been "reading" in his room when the phone rang. He flinched, but otherwise paid it no mind. Whoever was calling wasn't calling for him. He had just turned back to the page he'd been staring at for twenty minutes now, when his ma called for him.
"It's for you, James!"
Bucky sighed and heaved himself off the bed. When he got to the living room, his ma handed him the phone. "Hello?"
"Sergeant Barnes." Came Peggy's crisp voice. Bucky was mildly surprised, he'd never expected to hear from her again.
"What can I do for you, ma'am?"
"Steve's funeral needs to be arranged," Peggy stated hollowly. "You were listed as his next of kin, so legally his service is your responsibility. But I'm afraid that if you don't do something within the next few weeks, the army will make a show of it."
"They have no right to do that." He snapped angerly.
"I agree," Peggy replied. "But Steve was a hero. He was Captain America. The public will expect some kind of service, and I would much rather have a closed one than allow strangers to gawk and point, wouldn't you?"
"You're right." Bucky relented. "I'll make some arrangements and get back to you. Thank you for calling, Peggy."
"You're welcome, James." Peggy said before hanging up.
Bucky shook slightly as he sat the phone back on the receiver.
"Who was that, honey?" His ma asked from the kitchen. Bucky didn't say anything as he made his way over. From the doorway, he could see his mother drying the dishes. She paused when she noticed his presence. "What's wrong, Jaime-boy?"
Bucky tried to keep his voice even, he failed. "D'ya know any good funeral directors, Mama?"
Winifred's eyes widened and her shoulders drooped. "Oh baby." She muttered sadly and gathered her son into her arms. Bucky could only cry brokenly as she rocked him back and forth.
X-X-X
The funeral was small but beautiful, exactly the way Steve would have wanted it. Only close friends and family had been invited. Outside the church, the paparazzi swarmed, trying to get just a glimpse of the great captain's coffin. Bucky clenched his jaw in anger. While he was trying to bury his closest friend and little brother, the world only cared about getting their gossip. They had no respect for the man who'd died to save them.
Bucky shoved his anger down as he stood to give the eulogy. He was once again dressed in uniform, with his hat tucked into his right arm and left sleeve pinned up. His heart had decided to migrate into his throat as he approached the podium.
You can do this, Barnes. He chastised himself. You can do this for Steve. Bucky refused to think that this would be the last thing he'd ever do for Steve.
"In the last few years, death has been at the forefront of my mind." Bucky started. "But I've never had to really deal with death until now. Sure, we were risking death every day, and I absolutely thought it was the end after the accident…but I never once thought death would happen to Steve."
Bucky paused to wipe the tears from his face. "Steve was so alive. He was so bright, I thought the darkness of war would never touch him. I was wrong. And yes, the world did lose a hero. The world lost the greatest hero it was ever going to get. But more importantly, we lost Steve Rogers. We lost a smart mouthed, stubborn, idiotic little punk. I lost my best friend, and I'm sorry I didn't do more for him in the end."
X-X-X
Bucky could only watch as the other Commandoes lowered the coffin into the ground. Due to the lack of his arm, Bucky wasn't able to help carry the casket. He'd grumbled about that, arguing that it wouldn't even be that heavy because there was no body. All they were burying was a dress uniform and Steve's oldest sketch book, but he had been forbidden by just about everyone.
Once the casket had been completely sealed by the ground, and everyone else had left, Bucky squatted down in front of the headstone.
Captain Steven G. Rogers
Brother, Friend, Hero
1918-1945
'Till the End of The Line
"I'm so sorry, Steve," Bucky whispered as he touched the stone. "I miss you like crazy, Punk. Hopefully we'll see each other again…"
'Jerk.'