It's taken me a while to update because I've just started my Masters and it's taking up all of my time. Shit! It's a lot of work!

As always, no flames please. I would love some constructive criticism, please.

Naruto Masashi Kishimoto & Lord of the Rings © J.R.R Tolkien. I do not own any of their characters, just this story.

Enjoy and review responsibly! :D

UNAMUSING PARTY TRICKS

"If it scares you, it might be a good thing to try."
– Seth Godin

The moment Bilbo disappeared, pandemonium erupted.

Naruto was at a loss at what to do; disappearing hobbits was not in his job description. So he did the only thing he could think to do: find Gandalf, regroup and create a plan. Gandalf seemed to be the only smart option and Naruto would've proven everybody in Konoha right about his suspected idiocy if he hadn't picked up and noticed Gandalf's suspicion about Bilbo.

"Naruto!" the blonde turned to see a very worried, very confused Frodo elbowing his way through the sea of freaked out Hobbits to get to him. "Do you know what's going on?"

"No, but you'll be the first one to know when I do." Naruto promised, still looking around for the grey wizard.

"Who are you looking for?"

"Gandalf."

Frodo immediately started scanning, but his height was making it difficult for the Hobbit to make much leeway. However, Naruto had an inkling where the wizard might be, so he turned and grabbed Frodo's arm to get his attention.

"Let's split up. We'll cover more ground that way."

Frodo nodded and immediately threw himself into the crowd, hollering 'Gandalf' and even 'Bilbo' along the way. Satisfied that Frodo was suitably occupied, Naruto make a hasty retreat up the road that led towards Bag End, dodging the odd Hobbit along the way. The blonde burst through the large front door and found Gandalf confronting an unusually chipper Bilbo.

"What the bloody hell is going on here?!" demanded Naruto who was breathing heavily from the dash up the hill.

"That's what I trying to find out, Naruto. Be patient, please." Gandalf was frowning disapprovingly at him, but Naruto ignored this focusing on the hobbit. Bilbo looked amused by the attention he was receiving.

"Come on, Gandalf! Naruto!" Bilbo retrieved a walking staff from its storage place and added it to his travelling pack. "Did you see their faces?" He chuckled as Naruto threw a 'what-the-hell' look at an oblivious Bilbo.

"Yeah, I'm haemorrhaging inside it's so funny." Naruto responded dryly as he sank down into a nearby chair, glaring at the hobbit. Gandalf folded his arms across his chest.

"There are many magic rings in the world, Bilbo Baggins, and none of them should be used lightly."

Ring? What ring?

It was then that Naruto noticed Bilbo playing around with something golden in his fingers and his eyes widened when he realised exactly what had happened.

You gotta be kidding me… Bilbo pouted.

"It was just a bit of fun." Gandalf raised an eyebrow at Bilbo, which eventually caused the hobbit to relent. "Oh, you're probably right as usual." He sighed, but continued to pack up his belongings and shrug on his traveling cloak. "You will keep an eye on Frodo, won't you?" Bilbo asked both Naruto and Gandalf, the former still very confused about what was going on.

"Sure." Naruto shrugged. It wasn't like he had anything better to do until Gandalf could figure out how to get him, Sakura and Sasuke back to Konoha.

"Two eyes. As often as I can spare them." Gandalf promised. Bilbo nodded approvingly.

"What about this ring of yours? Is that staying too?"

"What ring? What am I missing here?" interrupted Naruto, as Bilbo fixed Gandalf with an annoyed look before nodding towards the mantelpiece.

"Yes, yes. It's in an envelope… over there on the mantelpiece." He said dismissively. Naruto, who had gotten up and moved over to Gandalf the moment the Ring was mentioned again, turned and scanned the mantelpiece. There wasn't an envelope. He looked up at Gandalf in a puzzlement and the wizard frowned at the back of Bilbo's curly head. That was when Bilbo froze and chuckled guiltily.

"No wait. It's here in my pocket." He plunged his hand into his waistcoat and produced an ordinary looking gold band.

All this for that stupid gold ring?! Naruto was mystified, but bit back a sarcastic comment when he noticed how strange Bilbo was acting: he was staring at the Ring almost reverently, adoringly. Alarm bells started pealing madly in the blonde's head.

"Isn't… isn't that odd now?" stuttered Bilbo, stroking the Ring. Then the sheepish expression on the normally cheerful, if not befuddled Hobbit's face grew cold, sinister. An expression he recognised Sasuke having when threatened.

Uh oh… "Yet after all, why not? Why shouldn't I keep it?" Bilbo whispered lazily. Naruto couldn't believe his eyes. Gandalf decided to take immediate action.

"I think you should leave the Ring behind, Bilbo. Is that so hard?" Gandalf asked, using a tone one would use to coax a person about to jump from a building down to safety. Bilbo hesitated.

"Well, no." he then looked down at the Ring and scowled, "and yes." That was when Bilbo started to become defensive. "Now it comes to it, I don't feel like parting with it. It's mine! I found it! It came to me!"

"Woah. Woah, steady on!" Naruto exclaimed. This was definitely not like Bilbo. Gandalf looked at Bilbo with growing concern.

"I agree. There's no need to get angry."

"Well, if I'm angry, it's your fault!" Bilbo snapped facing away from them, stroking the Ring like it was a purring, preening cat. "It's mine. My own, my precious." Gandalf's eyes widened.

"Precious?" Naruto looked at for Gandalf for an explanation, while Bilbo froze. "It's been called that before, but not by you." The Hobbit turned on him.

"So? What business is it of yours what I do with my own things?" Bilbo's voice, shape and mannerisms had definitely changed. That's what concerned and freaked out Naruto the most. The fact that a small, ordinary looking ring could warp and change a person's personality that quickly was extremely disturbing. He was thankful that Frodo wasn't here to witness his uncle practically changing into a snarling dog before his and Gandalf's very eyes.

"I think you've had that ring quite long enough." Gandalf started to cautiously move towards Bilbo; but the paranoid, angry Hobbit had other ideas.

"You want it for yourself!" Bilbo accused. That was when all hell broke loose.

"BILBO BAGGINS!" bellowed Gandalf, causing the Hobbit to instantly sink to his knees in terror. Naruto couldn't blame him; the wizard had risen to his full height, his normally gentle grey eyes were flashing and his shadow seemed to saturate the room.

Holy shit! Naruto thought as he brandished a kunai instinctively and sprang into a defensive stance against the 'raging' wizard. Gandalf momentarily ignored the blonde ninja, in favour of helping his old friend.

"DO NOT TAKE ME FOR SOME CONJURER OF CHEAP TRICKS!" continued Gandalf, his booming voice was rattling the windows, and the flames in the fireplace threatened to snuff out. Bilbo cowered away from Gandalf, alarmed by the wizard's immense power. Then Gandalf's stormy expression softened, "I'm not trying to rob you. I am trying to help you."

Bilbo, sobbing, ran towards Gandalf and hugs him looking and sounding contrite. Gandalf looked over at Naruto and smiled reassuringly at the boy who was eying him suspiciously.

"Stand down, Naruto. I'm no threat to you." Naruto's eyes narrowed.

"Yeah, I've heard that before…"

Gandalf sighed.

"You've got a stout heart, lad. But if I had wanted to harm you, Bilbo or even Frodo, I would've done long before now." Naruto considered before slowly but cautiously lowering his kunai and replacing it into his thigh pack. Both then turned their attention to the still shaking Bilbo, who had calmed down enough for Gandalf to reason with him about the Ring.

"All your long years we've been friends," Gandalf knelt down to Bilbo's height and placed his hands on his shoulders causing the Hobbit to look up at him, "trust me as you once did. Let it go!" he urged Bilbo gently, but firmly. Bilbo nodded slowly.

"You're right, Gandalf." Then his eyes hardened with resolve. "The ring must go to Frodo." Naruto's head snapped up and stared at Bilbo in horror. The hobbit lifted his knapsack and headed for the front door. But not before stopping in front of Naruto and fixing the stony-faced ninja with an apologetic and grateful smile. "Thank you, Naruto. It has been a pleasure meeting you. I'm sorry if I scared you before, and I don't know if we will meet again, but I hope you and your friends return to wherever you came from safely."

Naruto smiled and hugged Bilbo.

"Thanks, Bilbo." The old hobbit then sighed and turned for the front door.

"It's late, the road is long … yes, it is time." He was about to step through the threshold when Gandalf unexpectedly stopped him.

"Bilbo…" The hobbit froze.

"Hmmm?"

"The Ring is still in your pocket."

"Oh, yes."

Bilbo hesitates before he reaches into his pocket. Naruto approached him carefully as to not incite another rage-filled Bilbo event. Both he and Bilbo stared at the innocent looking Ring sitting in the centre of his palm. To Naruto, it appeared that it took all of Bilbo's willpower to tilt his hand and allow the ring to slowly slide off his palm and drop to the floor. Somehow, he managed it and the tiny golden ring lands with a heavy thud on the wooden foyer of Bag End. Bilbo drew in a shaky breath before striding determinedly out the front door, followed closely by Gandalf and Naruto, who stood in the doorway watching Gandalf and Bilbo exchanging goodbyes.

"I've thought up an ending for my book." Bilbo declared before turning and giving Gandalf a sunny smile. "'And he lived happily ever after, to the end of his days.'" Gandalf returned the smile and grasped his friend's hand in an affectionate handshake.

"I'm sure you will, my dear friend."

Naruto suddenly felt as though something was watching him, although he was pretty sure that he was the only person in the hobbit hole at that moment. That was when the whispering started. Gandalf turned and walked back into the living room to find Naruto crouched over the ring, looking at it in bewildered curiosity. But before Gandalf could stop him, Naruto reached forward and picked up the Ring. It was a tense moment, but when nothing happened immediately Gandalf let out an uneasy breath.

"AH!" gasped Naruto, dropping the Ring as though it was a heated branding iron. "What the hell was that?" Gandalf frowned in a puzzlement as he circled around the Ring. He glances up at Naruto who shrugs as if saying 'I've got nothing'. Gandalf threw caution to the wind and reached for the ring, but his fingers barely touched the metal when like Naruto, the Ring burns him – as though warning him to stay away.

"Curious. Why did you pick up the Ring, Naruto?" Gandalf demanded, but not unkindly. Naruto glared down at the Ring.

"It was whispering to me." Gandalf looked surprised and a bit disturbed, "It told me to pick it up, that it would solve all my problems with the Kyuubi."

"You must never give in to temptation, Naruto. I suspect that this Ring will lead you on a fool's errand if you should allow it." Gandalf warned him sternly. But even the wizard couldn't deny that there was something about the Ring that was very tempting, but he also sensed something very evil about it and decided to delve deeper into his suspicions. So Naruto and Gandalf agreed to leave the Ring lying where it was. Naruto went to sit in the fresh air and Gandalf sat smoking his pipe, pondering about the Ring and how it influenced Bilbo's actions as he stared into the flickering flames of the fireplace.

An hour later, Naruto spotted Frodo rushing up the road looking anxious and concerned. It was clear that he had not found Bilbo. Naruto smiled humourlessly and jumped down from the 'roof' he had been reclining on since Bilbo's hasty departure.

"Bilbo!" Frodo called and nearly ran Naruto over in his haste to get inside Bag End.

"Where's the fire?" asked Naruto, pleasantly. Frodo frowned at Naruto in surprise, questioning why Naruto didn't look worried himself.

"Naruto? Where's Bilbo? Did you find him?" Naruto pondered how he was going to break the news to Frodo that his uncle had left on a long journey to who-knew-where? Instead, he merely shrugged before turning and walking inside. Frodo followed him in, a little surprised at Naruto's answer and nearly stepped on the Ring. But before Naruto could stop him, Frodo bent down and picked it up.

"Where did this come from?"

"Uh…" began Naruto, but didn't get to finish when Frodo suddenly realised what had happened and turned staring with large, sorrowful eyes at both Gandalf and Naruto.

"He's gone, hasn't he?" asked Frodo, rhetorically. Naruto sighed heavily, as Gandalf stopped smoking and turned towards Frodo who walked over to him – his hand outstretched with the Ring nestled on his palm – looking resigned. "He talked for so long about leaving… I just didn't think he'd really do it." Gandalf stared down at the Ring with some distrust. "Gandalf?" Gandalf looked up at Frodo and smiled.

"Bilbo's ring." He immediately stood up and sorted through Bilbo's papers searching for the envelope he had found to store the Ring. "He's gone to stay with the Elves." He explained to Frodo whose eyes widened slightly. "He's left you Bag End." He added indicating for Frodo to drop the Ring into the envelope, which Frodo did promptly. Quickly, Gandalf sealed the envelope and handed it back to Frodo. "Along with all his possessions. The ring is yours now, but put it somewhere out of sight." Frodo nodded as Gandalf rose from his chair hurriedly and starts packing his things.

"Where are you going?" asked Naruto, who was now leaning up against the wall.

"I have some things that I must see to." Gandalf grabbed his staff and hat, and moved quickly for the door.

"What things?" asked Frodo.

"Questions. Questions that need answering." Naruto nodded in understanding and stepped away from the wall, following Frodo and Gandalf to the door as Frodo continued voicing his protest.

"You've only just arrived! I don't understand…" Gandalf paused before stepping through the threshold and turned to look sympathetically at Frodo.

"Neither do I." He admitted. "Keep it secret, keep it safe." He urged Frodo before looking up and staring sternly at Naruto. "Keep a sharp eye, Naruto." The blonde nodded, and Gandalf hurried out the door leaving a confused Frodo standing alone in Bag End with an extremely serious looking Naruto standing behind him, deep in thought and staring at the envelope that now held the Ring which was whispering again.

Little did Naruto and Gandalf know that the worst was yet to come. A few days later, Farmer Maggot was chopping wood in his garden when the thud of a horse's hooves interrupted his train of thought. He looked up and almost immediately wished that he hadn't. Looming over him was a black rider on horseback. His eyes widened and terrified he dropped his axe and cowered in his doorway. His dog, Fang, starts to whimper and retreats inside.

"Shire? Baggins?" hisses the Rider, turning its head slowly towards Maggot. Terrified, the poor hobbit tried to remember exactly where he had heard that particular name.

"There's no Bagginses around here! They are all up in Hobbiton." The rider spurred his horse, which reared in the air just as Maggot pointed fearfully in the right direction.

"T-that way!"

The moment the rider galloped off, the frightened hobbit darted inside his home, banging shut his door. Meanwhile, the Green Dragon was winding down for the night. Frodo and Naruto grinned in amusement as Rosie and Sam once again tried to catch each other's eye as they left the inn. Frodo and Naruto say goodnight to Sam outside of Bag End, and still chatting, head up towards the front door. That was when Naruto suddenly stops dead in his tracks, putting a hand out to stop Frodo from continuing on.

"Naruto? What's the matter?" Frodo asks, looking around for signs of trouble.

"We're not alone…" was all Naruto had to say, before turning and motioning to Frodo to stay put while he investigated. Frodo, not being an idiot, trusted his friend's instincts and waited as the boy quietly and stealthily sprinted to the window and used his chakra to see if he could sense the intruder. Then he got an idea.

"Kage Bunshin no Jutsu." Naruto muttered under his breath and instantly a shadow clone appeared. He instructed the clone to henge into Frodo and then enter Bag End on the pretence of having returned home from the Green Dragon. The clone nodded and moved in. 'Frodo' entered Bag End and immediately paused, obviously sensing the presence.

It was quiet.

Too quiet, as 'Frodo' looks around uneasily into the darkened living room. The clone lets out a frightened yell when a large hand reaches forward without warning and grabs his shoulder. Pulling himself free he spins 'round to face his attacker.

"Is it secret? Is it safe?" the intruder whispered urgently. The clone instantly disintegrated confusing the intruder until he could feel cold steel against his throat, just resting there in an obvious warning.

"Move. Even blink. And you're toast!" Naruto's voice was cold and deadly.

"Stand down, Naruto." The blonde blinked.

"Gandalf?" The wizard stepped into the shaft of moonlight. Paranoia was blazing in his eyes, his clothes were dirty and ragged from non-stop travelling, and his hair and beard was much longer and unkempt.

"Where is Frodo?" Gandalf demanded.

"Gandalf?" Both looked up to see Frodo had walked in, and was staring at the both of them in complete confusion. Gandalf broke free from Naruto and approached the hobbit determinedly.

"Is it secret? Is it safe?"

Without speaking, Frodo rushes over to one of his uncle's old chests which was filled with old letters, maps and yellowing parchment paper. Naruto frowned, observing Gandalf who was jumping at every animal cry and creaking noise, looking suspicious and no less paranoid. Frodo pulled out the envelope containing the Ring and gasped when Gandalf snatched it from his hand and tossed it into the fireplace.

"What's your damage, old man!" growled Naruto.

"What are you doing!?" Frodo exclaimed. Gandalf ignores them as the flames lick the envelope, and before their very eyes it disintegrates around the Ring, which appeared seemingly unharmed. Gandalf reaches into the fire with the fire tongs and carefully retrieves the Ring from the remains of the envelope.

"Care to explain?" demanded Naruto, folding his arms across his chest.

"Peace, Naruto. All will be revealed in due time." He inclined his head towards Frodo, who was looking extremely confused. "Hold out your hand, Frodo." Frodo's eyes widened in alarm.

That metal must be red hot! But Gandalf smiled reassuringly at him. "It is quite cool." Frodo nodded and raised his hand flinching when the Ring touched his skin. Naruto was prepared to risk getting stung by the Ring again if it so much as scalded his friend's skin, but surprisingly Gandalf hadn't been lying. "What can you both see?" Frodo immediately started scanning the Ring, flipping it around and thoroughly looking over every inch; Naruto mimicking his actions. "Can you see anything?" urged Gandalf.

"Nothing to report." Confirmed Naruto, looking over at Gandalf.

"Nothing. There's nothing." Frodo agreed, still examining the Ring. Gandalf turned away from them and sighed in what looked like relief. "Wait…" The wizard froze, and Naruto looked back at Frodo then at the Ring and his cerulean eyes widened in shock.

"Holy crap…" the blonde muttered.

The Ring, at first, looked as ordinary as ever the moment Gandalf had dropped it into Frodo's palm. But then before his eyes fiery littering began to form along the band. The tiny inscription glowed red as though it was being branded from within.

"There are markings…" Gandalf whispered to himself, despairing a little.

"It's some form of Elvish. I can't read it."

"There are few who can." Gandalf said ominously. Naruto groaned, knowing that shit was about to hit the fan. "The language is that of Mordor, which I will not utter here." Frodo looked horrified.

"Mordor!" Gandalf nodded.

"In the common tongue it reads, 'One ring to rule them all, one ring to find them. One ring to rule them all, and in the darkness bind them'." Frodo was baffled. Minutes later, the three of them were sitting around Frodo's kitchen table as the Hobbit bustled around preparing them supper. Naruto was eying the demonic jewellery where it sat on the table like it was a particularly nasty bug, as Gandalf continued telling them what he knew about the Ring. "This is the One Ring forged by the dark lord, Sauron, in the fires of Mount Doom. Taken by Isildur from the hand of Sauron himself."

"Bilbo found it. In Gollum's cave…" Frodo realised. Gandalf nodded solemnly.

"For sixty years, the Ring lay quiet in Bilbo's keeping. Prolonging his life, delaying old age," Frodo looked freaked out when he realised that his uncle should've looked older than he had appeared. "But no longer, Frodo. Evil is stirring in Mordor. The Ring has awoken. It has heard its master's call."

That was about all Naruto could tolerate. He decided he needed to speak up.

"I call bullshit on this!" He said, getting to his feet and ignoring the scandalised expressions he'd earned from both Gandalf and Frodo about his cussing as he moved around the table and started pacing. "You can't seriously expect me to swallow that garbage! You're making it sound as though that cheap-looking hunk of metal is actually alive!?" As though proving Gandalf correct, the Ring started whispering the black speech. All three stare down at it, before Gandalf and Frodo glance back at Naruto who looked sheepish.

"I stand corrected." But it appeared that Frodo had also been sharing similar doubts as Naruto too.

"But he was destroyed. Sauron was destroyed." Gandalf shook his head, trying to get both of them to understand the seriousness of the situation.

"No, Frodo. Naruto." The kettle whistled on the fireplace behind Frodo, and the hobbit turned to take care of it. Gandalf continued his explanation. "The spirit of Sauron has endured. His life force is bound to the Ring and the Ring survived. Sauron has returned. His Orcs have multiplied…"

Orcs? Naruto frowned. "His fortress of Barad-dur is rebuilt in the land of Mordor. Sauron needs only this ring to cover all the lands in the second darkness."

This is nuts! What the hell have we stumbled onto, Sakura? Sasuke? "He is seeking it, seeking it. All his thought is bent on it. For the ring yearns above all else, to return to the hand of its master: they are one, the ring and the dark lord."

This guy sounds more fucked up than Orochimaru was… "This is vital. He must never find out." Naruto scoffed in disbelief. He was generally optimistic, but this was ridiculous. However, Frodo suddenly adopted a determined look and scoops up the Ring.

"Alright!" He strode out of the Kitchen to the Living Room, followed closely by Gandalf and a little reluctantly, Naruto. "We put it away, we keep it hidden! We never speak of it again." Frodo decided, thinking fast. "Nobody knows it's here, do they?" Gandalf shifts from foot to foot uncomfortably. Naruto looks at him with an eyebrow raised. Frodo looks warily at Gandalf. "Do they, Gandalf?"

"There is one other who knew that Bilbo had the Ring." Frodo paled, "I looked everywhere for the creature Gollum, but the enemy had found him first."

Naruto had a very nasty feeling that whatever Gandalf had uncovered was about to bite them well and truly in the ass. He made his way over to the frightened hobbit to try and comfort his friend.

"I don't know how long they tortured him. But amidst the endless screams and inane babble, they discerned two words…" Frodo looked down at the Ring in his hand and started to tremble with fright.

"But that'll lead them here!" yelled Naruto, coming to the dreaded conclusion and angrily turning on the wizard who looked pained. Frodo frantically thrusts the Ring at Gandalf.

"Take it, Gandalf! Take it!" Gandalf backs away instantaneously.

"No, Frodo…"

"You must take it!" Frodo insisted, advancing on him.

"You cannot offer me this ring."

"I'm giving it to you!" Frodo was almost tearful he was so frightened and Naruto's heart went out to the Hobbit.

"Don't tempt me, Frodo!" Frodo paused, looking at Gandalf accusingly. "I dare not take it, not even to keep it safe." Gandalf's eyes fixed upon the Ring as he tried to make Frodo understand. "Understand, Frodo. I would use the Ring from a desire to do good, but through me, it would wield a power too great and power to control." Frodo turned to Naruto as a last resort and started to hand it to the blonde whose eyes widened as he also started to back away from him.

"Sorry, buddy. That thing has rejected me already." Frodo looked helpless, and Naruto was determined to help his new friend whatever the cost. He didn't deserve this fucking insane circumstance. Not one bit! "But that thing can't stay in the Shire!" He growled at Gandalf who nodded in agreement.

"No. It can't."

"What must I do?" Naruto looked back at Frodo and was saddened by the hardened expression on his face.

Oh Kami, please. Not him…

Naruto had seen the look on Frodo's face before.

That desire to make a difference, the fire and steeliness in the eyes that promised retribution to the next person who tried to stop him from his intention. The naïve belief that only he could find the solution to the problem at hand without thinking about the repercussions. He recognised the same expression on Frodo's face as the look he had on his cocky, eager-to-please, stubborn 12-year-old face, from when he was a newly graduated Genin.

But that was before he knew better. Back when he had endured odds that he wished he could go back and change.

But he couldn't.

Naruto wouldn't wish that life on someone as innocent and carefree as Frodo was. It would destroy him, and he was determined to rescue Frodo from himself. He knew that Frodo was feeling guilty that he was essentially a homing beacon for their enemy to come to the Shire and slaughter innocent bystanders in order to get to him and pry the Ring from his cold dead hands.

Over my dead body… vowed Naruto as he packed up all of his belongings into his knapsack and made sure he accounted for all of his weapons. He could hear Gandalf giving Frodo instructions and a fairly useless pep talk in Frodo's room next door, as the courageous hobbit was throwing clothes into a knapsack.

Frodo has no idea what he's getting into…

Naruto re-emerged from the guestroom to find Frodo wrapping something perishable into a tea towel and adding it to his collection of supplies. The hobbit caught his eye and distractedly thrust something at Naruto, who wordlessly took it and shoved it into his pack before following them into the Living Room where Frodo was making his final preparations.

"You'll have to leave the name of Baggins behind you. That name is not safe outside of the Shire." Gandalf helped Frodo into his coat. "Travel only by day and stay off the road." Gandalf eyed Naruto who was scanning outside the window for danger. "And make sure you stick close to Naruto." Frodo smiled gratefully at the blonde who smiled back but immediately returned his attention to the window when he sensed something unfamiliar.

"I can cut across country easily enough." Frodo reassured the wizard. Gandalf smiled fondly at the young hobbit, obviously not realising how completely reckless and stupid this entire situation was. Naruto couldn't help but shake his head in despair.

There it is again! Naruto immediately withdrew a kunai and started scanning the garden outside the window. Gandalf and Frodo had yet to notice the potential danger. A twig snapped.

"Get down!" Gandalf sternly orders Frodo, who drops to the ground as Gandalf grabs his staff and nods at Naruto who leans closer to the window, trying to sense a foreign chakra source. Suddenly, Gandalf stabs out and a yelp of pain is heard before Gandalf reaches out and pulls a startled Sam into the room and slams him onto the table.

"Confound it all! Samwise Gamgee, have you been eavesdropping?" demanded Gandalf angrily.

"Sheesh, you're worse than Iruka-sensei on a bad day…" Naruto butted in and helped the terrified gardener off the table. "But seriously… were you?" Naruto asked Sam suspiciously. Sam shook his head frantically.

"No, I ain't been dropping no eaves, honest." Naruto raised an eyebrow.

"So why were you lurking under the window?"

"I heard raised voices—"

"What did you hear? Speak!" Sam flinched at Gandalf's bellowing voice, before babbling his reply.

"Nothing important, that is. I heard a good deal about a ring, a-and a Dark Lord and something about the end of the world." Frodo looked amused, while Naruto and Gandalf looked exasperated. "Please, Mr. Gandalf, sir. Don't turn me into anything unnatural!" Sam begged, trembling. Gandalf got a 'light-bulb over the head' look as a calculating grin spread across his face. Naruto sighed when he realised that Gandalf was up to.

"No? Perhaps not." He leaned down and whispered to Sam who looked warily back at the three of them. "I've thought of a better use for you."

A/N: Sakura will be making her entrance in a couple of updates. If you've seen the movie, you'll know what's happening next! Just note that if I don't update quickly it is because I'm doing homework for Uni and I'm focusing on it completely, so don't fret. Please review thoughtfully and respectfully. TTFN!