Chapter Eleven:
My eyes shoot open and I gasp as I'm dragged back into reality. My chest heaves and my heart hammers as if I had really just relived my childhood years in a matter of seconds. Peter removes his hands and I stumble backwards, looking down to avoid his face. I press my back against a nearby tree for support. My legs are shaking and I'm not sure they can hold me on their own.
Minutes pass as we stand there. Slowly my breathing returns to normal and my heartbeat slows. My legs still feel like jelly so I don't leave the comfort of the tree. All the while I stare at the ground, not ready to meet Peter's eyes.
I'm not sure I could stand to look at his face when it looks so much like Wesley. I might just burst into tears and I did not want to cry in front of him. That was my rule; don't cry in front of Peter. Don't seem weak.
"What happened next?" The question takes me by surprise. Of all the things I was expecting him to say that was not it. Despite my fears and anxiety I look up into his stormy sea colored eyes.
It's like he's put on a mask, a mask devoid of emotions and feelings. His eyes are empty. There's none of his normal smirk, arrogance, and smugness. He doesn't look pleased, guilty, sympathetic, annoyed, or sorry. He's completely blank. Frankly the look on his face scares me more than any look of anger I've seen.
"Nothing really," I shrug and turn away, unable to stand looking him. Peter walks over and leans against the tree next to me. His arm touches mine so I wiggle away until there's a good amount of space between us.
"Elley," his voice is soft, showing just the hint of emotion. I bite my lip in annoyance. Why does he have such an effect on me? If anyone had asked me about my past I would have told them nope and then walked off. Peter asks me and I give it to him. Now he wants to know more and I can feel myself giving in. There's no way I'll tell him no.
I sigh then begin to ramble on about how I lived after I left Wesley. I talk about how I grew so careless in my thievery that I got caught more often and that's why they sent Emma after me. I ramble on about how Emma made me feel loved and wanted for the first time since I left Wesley, but I still never completely trusted her enough to tell about my past. I talk about my foster home. Like how it was fun at first, but then my foster father developed a drinking problem and he would come home and beat his wife and sometimes, if I didn't get out of the way, me.
I mention how Emma was a bright light in a dark time. She would help me get over the beatings and took me away from that house as much as possible. But I never told her about the drinking. I keep going on about how after she just suddenly disappeared things got even worse at my foster home so I left them and went to find her.
Then I start on my adventures in Storybrooke. I explain the fight with Cora and how Mary Margaret eventually had to kill her. I tell about my adventure in New York with Emma, Henry, and Mr. Gold to find Neal. Next comes how we reacted to Greg and Tamara and all of the mahem they caused.
All the while I'm inserting little details like how the fairytale characters didn't really except me at first because I wasn't one of them and how I grew remarkably close to Henry during this time. Then after I gained their trust how Henry and I grew apart because Emma was forced to choose between us. I ramble on about how it hurt me and such and how mad I was when she left me without even saying where she was going.
Sometime while I was talking we must have sat down because when I finally stop I find myself huddled next to the tree with Peter sitting next to me. He has one knee raised and rests his arms on it while watching me intently. I'm hugging my knees to my chest and my hair is falling in my face, partly hiding me from his eyes. Something I am grateful for.
"And now you're here," Peter finishes.
"And now I'm here," I nod. We elapse into a silence that's only disturbed by the low chirp of crickets and the deep croaks of frogs. I sigh and lean my head against the tree, contemplating what just happened.
"What?" Peter asks.
"It's just," I sigh again, "I've been trying to forget my past for years. When I got to Storybrooke I thought that I'd finally be able to start over and erase my past completely. Then I come here and it's all brought back."
"Why do you want to erase your past?" Peter cocks his head to one side. I turn and stare at him. He raises his eyebrows.
"Why do I want to erase my past?" I repeat. "My past sucks," I stand up and so does Peter. Fury and irritation rise as I continue. "My mother abandoned me, all the people I love are dead or they don't love me, I abandoned Wesley, and I was raped when I was eight years old. EIGHT YEARS OLD," I scream.
"To top it all off I'm a prisoner on this godforsaken island," I glare at him. Peter's eyes harden and any sympathy that might have lingered in those stormy depths is erased.
"You know it would be a lot better here if you were to loosen up and have fun," he snaps.
"Have fun? Have fun?" a hot flush rises in my cheeks from irritation. "How can I have fun when you have Henry somewhere and you're fighting Emma?"
"Forget Emma!" he exclaims. "Forget Henry!"
"No," I shout.
"Why?"
"They're my family. They love me and they need me."
Peter narrows his eyes and leans forward. I lean back until I'm pressed against the tree. "If Emma really loved you she would have taken you away from your foster home. She would have brought you to Storybrooke with her, she would have chosen you over Henry. If she really loved you she would have left Henry here and staid in Storybrooke with you," he whispers.
I look away from Peter. I'm too scared to speak. Everything he's saying makes perfect sense. I've known it all for awhile, I've just been denying it. Then Peter comes along and forces me to face the facts. "I'm sorry Elley, but it's time you accept the truth. They aren't coming for you. They want Henry."
I turn and look at him again. To my shock he really does look sorry. His eyes are wide with sympathy and he almost looks regretful. There are a million thoughts racing through my head and a million things I want to say, but I stay quiet.
"I'm sorry about your past too," he says. I lower my gaze again. Tears burn my eyes but they don't fall. Wesley…
"Thanks," I manage to choke out.
"If I could meet those guys now," his voice is hard and his muscles tense. I have trouble swallowing when I think about it. "You didn't disserve that," his voice goes low and soft. He raises one hand and holds my chin. Gently he raises my head so I'm looking him in the eye.
It feels like there's electricity running through my body. His eyes are locked on mine and mine are locked on his. His hand rests on my cheek and his other one holds him up against the tree so he's leaning over me. I can feel something stir in me. It's a feeling I've been struggling to ignore since I got here. Something stronger than anger, hate, and fear. Something more along the lines of desire and lust.
It echoes through Peter's eyes and I know he feels it too. He moves his body closer to mine and I don't back away. Not that I really could, considering the fact that I'm already pressed against a tree. By now he's only millimeters from my face. I can feel his breath on my lips and it only increases the odd feelings inside of me.
At the last moment I turn away and break the trance. For a moment we stand in an awkward silence then Peter moves away. I slowly turn to face him, scared of what I'll see. His face looks dark.
"I-I," I stutter. What was I supposed to say? I didn't want to kiss him because some part of me still hopes Emma will rescue me? Because I'm scared?
"I understand," he nods. He looks down then takes my hands in his. I look down in confusion as he starts to pull me away from the tree.
"What are you doing?" I ask.
Peter doesn't answer. He walks to the edge of a small field of flowers. They're blue like forget-me-nots, but much bigger than your average flowers. Here he lets go of my hands and walks into the flowers. "Peter?" my voice sounds so small and lost. I'm almost embarrassed by it.
Finally Peter turns to face me and answers my questions. "Emma chose Henry over you. Now I'm asking you to chose me over her," his voice is intent, his eyes surprisingly soft. "Forget her, forget him, forget them. Forget them all," he holds out one hand for me to take.
I want to tell him no, to run away into the woods, right to Emma. I want to go back in time to be with Wesley. But when I look up into his eyes I know I can't. He's giving me a puppy dog look, half childish longing and the other half complete fiery desire. "You can stay here on Neverland with me and the Lost Boys. You'll never have to worry about anything or have to deal with grown-ups ever again. You'll be young and happy forever."
The longer I look at him the stronger the feelings inside me become. The desire, lust, passion, whatever you want to call it is slowly taking over. Everything else seems to dim in importance compared to the idea of Peter. Without a second thought I walk forward and take his hand.
"Forever is an awfully long time," I remember a quote from the story of Peter Pan. Peter smiles.
"At least we'll have each other for company," he steps closer and takes my other hand. Without giving me enough time to move away or change my time Peter leans down and kisses me.
It's nothing like I had expected it. Peter's lips are gentle and hardly brush against mine. His hands hold mine tightly and keep me close to him. I'm hardly aware of anything except for where our bodies are touching. Nothing else seems to matter.
Peter pulls away far too soon and I open my eyes, realizing for the first time that I had closed them when we kissed. I also become aware of how fast and loud my heart is pounding and how hard I'm breathing. It was a short, sweet kiss, but it seemed to have knocked me out of proportion.
Peter smiles at me and moves one hand to hold my cheek. Then he leans in and kisses me again. It's just as gentle as the first and lasts a tad bit longer, but it still makes my breath go ragged and my heart flutter.
As we pull away I become aware of a fine mist rising off of the flowers around us. I tear my gaze away from Peter and look around. Sure enough there is a thin mist rising off of the flowers. It's the same blue as the petals and shimmers like it's filled with lights.
"What's going on?" I glance around.
"Don't fight it Elley. You chose it after all," Peter's voice sounds next to my ear and I glance at him. He smirks and I feel my heart sink. More irritated with myself than him I open my mouth to say something, but suddenly I feel very dizzy.
"Peter," I gasp as my body sways. My vision is blurred and everything looks blue.
"It's alright Elley," Peter whispers. His arms hold me before I fall and I hold onto him for support.
"Peter," I mumble again.
He doesn't reply. I can feel him pick me up and then I'm just hanging limply in his arms. I try to speak again but I can't form any words. Everything feels woozy and out of sorts. Suddenly I just want to go to sleep. With memories of a soft kiss I go unconscious in Peter's arms.
A/N:
I'm really bad with confrontations and crap. I feel like this chapter was kind of weird. Hmmmm. I'll leave that up to ya'll to decide. All questions will be answered later so the whole mist and everything will be explained. Not sure when my next update will be. I've got exams in a week or two and Christmas is in three weeks yayyyyy! The episode tonight was pretty good. It scared me when Peter went in the box. I thought they were getting rid of him and I was all like nooooooo! However I'm not sure how I'm going to fit all of that into this story. I'll work on it, but that's probably just going to delay the updates even farther. Sorry bout that. Well I hope you enjoyed this chapter despite how short and crappy it was. Thanks for reading and reviewing. Please keep up the good work!