Broken

...

You guys are gonna hate me, but I got a request for a story where Hiccstrid have marriage problems. Don't worry, though, this is only Part I of a two part story:)

...

Hiccup sighed as he rolled over and stared at the wall. No matter how hard he tried, he couldn't sleep. He couldn't stop thinking about how, had this night been happening a couple years ago, he would've had Astrid wrapped in his arms. Her head would've been resting on his chest, and she would've been listening to his heartbeat. Everything would've been blissful.

But now, that wasn't the case. Since the birth of their youngest daughter, Erika, the household had become chaotic. Stoick, their oldest son, was on the verge of becoming a teenager, and eleven-year-old Finn wasn't far behind. Although only nine, Ingrid was starting to show interest in boys, and had started having spells of moodiness. And then there was Erika, who was always toddling all over the house and picking up whatever objects were within her reach.

Over the past couple months, Hiccup hadn't had a conversation with his wife that didn't revolve around what was for dinner or who was going to stay home with the kids on which days. He blamed himself. If he hadn't grown so absorbed in his chief duties, this wouldn't be happening. However, Astrid wasn't making much more of an effort. She was always focused on when she could escape her duties as a housewife to teach at the Academy, or else she was busy hearing about who Ingrid's new crush was (which Hiccup disapproved of - he didn't think his wife should be encouraging his baby girl to get involved with boys).

They'd used to go on date nights every now and then. But those were gone. Their thirteenth wedding anniversary had recently passed, and all they'd done to celebrate was give each other little gifts. They still greeted one another in the morning and wished each other goodnight, but it seemed that they were only going through the motions. Even their kisses had gone from being passionate to the point where their kids covered their eyes in disgust, to being close-mouthed pecks. They still changed clothes in the same room and walked into the washroom while the other was bathing, but there was never anything sexual about it anymore. Astrid had stopped joining her husband in the bath, and no longer snuck glances as he removed his tunic at night. Even simple cuddling sessions had become rare.

He loved her. Well, at least he thought he still did. He didn't want to leave her. He liked living with her, but it felt like they were just roommates. Roommates who were friends, and occasionally kissed just for the fun of it. The spark that had so long been present between them was now gone. He felt more excited to see his kids than he was to see Astrid when he came home from work.

Something had to be done. He realized that. But what he didn't know was what that something was. Sighing, he turned to face his sleeping wife and pressed a gentle kiss onto her forehead. "What am I gonna do about you, milady?"

...

Astrid let out a sigh of relief as Erika finally drifted off to sleep in her arms. The older kids were playing outside, which meant that she had some peace and quiet while the little one was snoozing. Finally, she could reflect on what was happening with her husband without the distraction of a toddler getting into everything and three energetic pre-teens creating mischief in the house.

Ever since Erika's birth, Hiccup rarely tried to initiate sex anymore. At first, she figured that it was because the family was busy. But the more she considered it, the more she started to realize that perhaps he no longer found her attractive. After all, she hadn't been able to lose her baby weight like she had in her younger years, after the first three children were born. She wasn't fat, but she wasn't stick-thin teenager Astrid, either. She had stretch marks on her thighs and stomach, and her hair had lost some of its shine. In other words, she looked like a mother - not a model. He didn't even pay attention anymore when she undid her breast bindings at night, and the other day, when he'd happened to walk into the washroom while she was toweling off after a bath, he didn't even smirk at her.

But it wasn't just the sex (or lack thereof) that was bothering her. Her relationship with Hiccup had never been solely based off of physical touch. She also felt as if their emotional connection was falling apart. They almost never had deep conversations anymore. In fact, they rarely even talked. They weren't the way they used to be. She wondered if he was angry with her. Or maybe disappointed. Or, in the worst case scenario, he had fallen out of love with her. The biggest problem was that she didn't think he cared enough to talk about it. He was too busy with other things.

...

Smiling, Hiccup kissed Ingrid's forehead and watched while she snuggled beneath the covers. "Goodnight, my little girl," he murmured.

"Wait. Daddy," Ingrid called as her father turned to leave.

He looked back at her. "Yes, princess?"

"Do you still love Mama?"

"Of course. What kind of question is that?"

"You didn't kiss her when you came home today. And you hardly talked to her at dinner."

"Daddy was just tired tonight," he said with a weak smile.

Just as Hiccup finished speaking, Astrid walked into the room with the youngest Haddock in her arms, nestled in a warm towel. "After I get Erika into her nightgown and settled in bed, I'm going for a ride on Stormfly," she said. "If you could dump her bath water for me, that would be great."

"I will."

"Why are you going out by yourself?" Ingrid questioned.

"Because Mama needs to think about some things. I'll be back by morning."

"Do you still love Daddy?"

"Stop being silly, honey." With that, the blonde quickly finished getting Erika ready for bed, then tucked her beneath the blankets of her crib. "Goodnight, loves."

...

Hiccup slept alone that night. Although Astrid had promised to return before morning, sunrise brought no sign of her. He knew he should look for her; however, he had four children who needed to be cared for first. Sighing, he climbed out of bed and made his way into the washroom. After taking a quick bath and dressing for the day, he walked to the kitchen, where he started preparing breakfast.

"Good morning, Mom," Stoick mumbled absently as he rounded the corner. "I mean, Dad," he quickly corrected upon catching sight of his father. "Wait, why are you cooking? Where's Mom?"

"She went out for a ride last night and hasn't come back yet. I'm gonna need to gather a search party if she doesn't show up by the time we're done eating."

"Can I come?" asked the young Viking, taking a seat at the table.

Hiccup sighed. "I don't know. I think it would be best if you stayed with Grandma."

"Where are we going?" That was Finn, who came to join his brother at the table.

"To Grandma's," Hiccup replied.

"No, we're going to help Dad find Mom," corrected Stoick. "She left and never came back."

"Here comes the baby!" Ingrid announced. She stepped into the kitchen, little Erika in her arms. "She wants Mama."

"Mama's not back yet," said Hiccup.

"But she promised she'd be here by morning!" Ingrid exclaimed.

"Me and Finn are going on a search party for her with Dad," Stoick told his sister. "But you and Erika are going to Grandma's."

Hiccup groaned. "All of you are going to Grandma's, son."

"Daddy," Ingrid said. She set Erika down, then walked over to her father and hugged him.

"What is it, princess?" Hiccup lifted the little girl into his arms. Despite her age, she was small, and so he had no problem holding her.

"I just want you and Mama to love each other so we can be a family." Ingrid hugged her father's neck and buried her face into his shoulder.

"Don't worry, sweetie. Everything is gonna be okay."

At that moment, the sound of the front door creaking open was heard.

"Astrid?" Hiccup called, placing Ingrid back on the ground.

"Yeah, it's me," came Astrid's voice. A few seconds later, she appeared in the doorway of the kitchen.

Smiling, Erika toddled over to her mother and hugged her leg. "Mama!"

Astrid bent down and scooped the child off the ground.

"We were worried about you," said Hiccup. "You said you were coming back before morning. I was about to put aside the morning duties and send out a search party. And you know this is a busy time of the year on Berk. You can't just leave like this."

"Oh, so you don't care that I might not have been back sooner because something happened? What if I'd been hurt? All you care about is that I almost inconvenienced your schedule."

"I care. It's just...nothing happened, and you scared me. You can't make me think you need help when you don't."

"I can come and go whenever I want. I don't have to answer to you."

"Well, I'm your chief, so technically speaking..." Hiccup trailed off.

Stoick grinned. "Wow, this is getting good!"

Sighing, Hiccup shook his head. "We'll talk after breakfast."

"No, we won't." Astrid placed Erika in her high chair. "Because I'm moving out."

"What?"

"Hiccup, you had to have seen this coming. We're not...we're not us anymore. The spark that I felt for so long...it's just not there. We barely talk. We barely kiss. And now you think you can control my life? This isn't what I signed up for when we got married."

Tears filled Ingrid's eyes. "But Mama..."

"It's not your fault, sweetie." Astrid hugged her daughter. "And I'll still see you. I'm just going to be at Grandpa and Grandma Hofferson's house."

"Can't we talk first?" Hiccup asked. "I mean..."

"There's nothing to say. It's over." With that, Astrid turned and walked out of the room.