The Side Effects of Pregnancy

...

Astrid's pregnancy is getting to her, and Hiccup doesn't quite understand what she's going through. This is her first time pregnant:) My theory is that the first is the hardest, the second is fairly easy, the third is Hiccup's favorite because it makes her want sex all the time, the fourth is moderate, and the fifth is easy at first, but then becomes hard closer to the due date since the baby's at risk/is born early. But yeah, this is the first time. Poor Hiccstrid.

...

As Hiccup walked through the door, he was met with the sight of a five-months-pregnant Astrid sitting in her favorite chair, dressed in leggings and breast bindings and eating what appeared to be yak ice cream topped with honey and onions. The ice cream was smeared around her mouth, and her bare feet were tucked underneath her. Her hair was in a messy braid, and her eyelids were free of their usual eyeliner.

"Good evening, milady," the young chief greeted, placing a hand on his wife's shoulder.

Astrid shoved another scoop of ice cream into her mouth. "Hey, babe," she said, barely glancing up at Hiccup. "There's yak and pickle sandwiches in the kitchen if you're hungry."

Hiccup raised an eyebrow. "Yak and pickle?" he questioned.

The blonde nodded. "That's what I said. They're really good. And so is this ice cream."

The young chief sighed. "You know, Ast, I was...I was sort of hoping for a...you know...a hot meal. Without pickles."

"It's too hot to cook on the stove," Astrid said.

"It's barely spring," he pointed out.

"Well, I'm pregnant," she retorted, shooting him a glare. "And until you carry another human being in your body, feel like throwing up every other morning, are constantly tired, have acne all over your forehead, sweat buckets after going for a ten minute dragon ride, and are producing milk like a damn yak, I don't wanna hear it. Go cook your own dinner if you want something hot."

Hiccup groaned. He immediately knew that he shouldn't have said anything, but he also felt that Astrid should stop lashing out at him for every little thing. When she'd first found out she was pregnant, she'd made him sleep on the floor because he'd said that he didn't want her riding Stormfly for the safety of the baby. When she was three months along, she'd yelled at him because he'd tried to initiate sex when she wasn't in the mood. When she was four months along, she'd stopped talking to him for two days because he'd told her that her stomach was getting to be the size of Snotlout's. And now, at five months along, she was mad at him because he wanted a hot meal after a long day of work. It just wasn't fair. Sure, she was pregnant, but he was tired, sexually frustrated (it had been a month since they'd had sex), and hungry for something warm.

"Why are you still standing here?" asked Astrid.

"I...I'm sorry," he tried.

She laughed. "I'll believe that when yaks fly."

"No, Astrid. I...I'm really sorry. I'll eat the sandwiches."

"I don't want you to eat them after this. I'm gonna go eat the rest of them myself."

Hiccup narrowed his eyes. "Then what...what am I supposed to eat?"

"Good question," she said. Finishing the last of her ice cream, she stood up and headed into the kitchen, where she took the sandwiches from the table and began to devour them.

The young chief peeked at his wife. Her leggings hugged her hips and butt, showing off her curves that had become more prominent with pregnancy. Her growing belly stuck out over the waistband of the leggings, and her breasts, though tied down by her bindings, were clearly larger than they'd been before she got pregnant.

"What are you looking at?" demanded Astrid, her mouth half-full.

"I'm just thinking about how we're gonna have one good-looking baby," he grinned.

The blonde, still annoyed at her husband, was about to give a smart response. But before she could, she felt a little kick inside her belly. Another one followed it. Happy tears began to run down her cheeks, and she threw the remains of the sandwiches onto the table and ran over to Hiccup. Throwing her arms around him, she buried her face in his shoulder.

"What? What's wrong? Is it the baby?" asked Hiccup, pulling her close.

"He...he kicked!" Astrid exclaimed, lifting her head.

The young chief saw that, despite her tears, she had a huge smile on her face. "He kicked?"

She nodded. "Here. Feel him." Taking Hiccup's hand, she placed it on her stomach. A few minutes later, the unborn baby kicked again.

"Not bad for a baby who hasn't even been born yet," remarked Hiccup. "He's gonna be a fighter, just like you." Grinning, he pressed a wet kiss onto her cheek. "And Ast," he continued after a pause. "I really am sorry for being a mutton-head. I know it must be hard to carry a baby. At least, I know I'm glad that being pregnant is your job and not mine."

"Yeah, you wouldn't even make it through the first month," Astrid laughed.

"Hey, I'm not that weak," he insisted.

"Hmm, I don't know about that." She gave him a playful slap on the chest. "By the way, you can have what's left of my sandwiches. I'm gonna go have a bath."

"Can I join?" Hiccup asked eagerly.

Astrid considered for a minute. "Well, I could use some help washing my back."

"Alright. Let's go, then." Shoving the remains of his wife's partially-eaten sandwiches into his mouth, Hiccup lifted Astrid off the ground and carried her bridal-style into the washroom, where he placed her in the tub. Because she was always hot due to pregnancy, she didn't like to heat the water, but preferred it to be at room temperature.

"Hiccup!" she exclaimed, standing up and struggling to peel off her wet leggings.

The young chief watched as she undressed while he did the same. Once naked, he climbed into the tub and smiled as his equally naked wife settled between his legs and leaned her back against his chest.

"Babe, I just wanted to say that I'm sorry for how I acted earlier, too," she said, looking up at him.

"Don't worry about it." He wrapped his arms around her - his hands resting on her belly - and kissed her lips. "I kinda deserved it." He paused. "And I should really be doing a better job of taking care of you. I mean, look at Fishlegs and Ruffnut. She's not even pregnant, but he makes her dinner, rubs her feet, gives her gifts..." Fishlegs and Ruffnut had just married a month ago.

"Yeah, but that's them. They're into that kind of stuff. Fishlegs likes the idea of babying, and Ruffnut apparently enjoys it. We're more into just...you know...being best friends and having adventures. And it's frustrating that I can't adventure with you like I did before I was pregnant."

"I know. But it's only for a little while. After the baby's born, and after you wean him, we'll give him to my mom for a week and go explore. Just the two of us. Sound good?"

Astrid nodded. "We should go to the Edge."

"I agree. We can relive our adventures there." He sighed. "We had so many battles, Dagur and Heather fought, Fishlegs and Ruffnut thought they were married for a day, we made out for the first time..."

"I remember that," the blonde smiled. "And yet we still told everyone that we were just friends."

"Yeah. We even told ourselves that. What a lie." He shook his head. "But we're married now, so that's all that really matters."

"Babe," Astrid started after a pause. "Do you think I'll be a good mother?" This question was one that had bothered her ever since she'd discovered that she was expecting, but this was the first time she was daring to ask it aloud.

"Of course you will, milady. Yeah, you're a strong and determined warrior, but you can also be loving and caring. Look at how you took care of me when I had the stomach flu couple months ago. And I remember a few years back, when the dragons were all sick from the blue oleanders, you were the first one to pick up and cuddle a Terror. Our baby will be lucky to have you as a mother." As he spoke, he began to undo his wife's braid.

"Are you sure?"

"I'm positive. You're gonna be great."

After sharing a kiss, the two started to wash both themselves and each other. Once they were finished, they wrapped up in towels and ascended the stairs to their lofted bedroom. There, they dried off, and without even bothering to dress, climbed beneath the covers of their bed and cuddled close, their bare limbs tangling together.

"He kicked again," Astrid announced, placing a palm on her belly.

"The little warrior," Hiccup said, kissing the top of his wife's head before bringing a hand to rest beside hers. "You're gonna be a great Viking, tiny one," he murmured to the baby. "And I should probably thank for proving it when you did. Otherwise, I'd be sleeping on the floor tonight."