It's been a few weeks (exactly 3 weeks, 3 days, 5 hours, and 27 minutes) since my "encounter" with Lapis Lazuli. In this time span, things between us have become...awkward.
Of course we still watch Camp Pining Hearts, but Lazuli seems rather uncomfortable and restless now. I mean yesterday we only made it through half of season 3 and she wouldn't stop shifting around the entire time and didn't laugh at her favorite parts as hard as she usually does!
Also, she has been flying around by herself more often, like she did when we first became barnmates. She goes away for most of the daylight hours now and only returns as the earth's light source starts to go down to watch TV with me. The night time hours have become my favorite part of my day. The daylight hours are too, lonely.
I can only conclude that the "encounter" has made things weird between us and may have upset Lazuli in some way. She doesn't appear mad at me but she is certainly not as happy as she was before the event occurred, leaving me confused on how to remedy the situation.
I am also sad… the "encounter" is one of my favorite memories so far of earth. How I felt that night is like how I felt the first time I put on limb enhancers; powerful, strong, and seen. It was somehow more though. My heart was palpitating irregularly and I felt heat everywhere as Lazuli brought my hands to her waist. I could smell and see Lazuli in a much closer capacity and was amazed. I never noticed that her scent is like the beach in the morning, before the sun heats up the sand, or that her skin isn't a solid blue, but rather a multitude of different hues of blue that change as she moves like the waves of the ocean. When she held me close and we swayed to the beat of the music, I didn't feel short or inferior but powerful and seen as something of worth, something more than just a peridot. I felt happy, but now...I'm just alone again and confused.
I try to find new projects to distract myself with. In fact, the perma-fusion, I mean Garnet, recently stopped by and gave me a new CD. She said something along the lines of, "you'll need this," which I take as a sign that she is finally warming up to me. I foresee us being great friends in the future!
I of course start listening to it immediately. It's been my go-to tunes to work to for the past 3 days and I've found myself stuck on one song in particular. The CD says it's called Kiss Me Slowly. Of course I am well informed about the act of kissing as I've seen it many times on Camp Pining Hearts, but the song does bring with it an entirely different feeling. The man seems lonely too…
I tighten a bolt on the new engine I've built for the tractor to make it go even faster as I start humming as the song starts playing again (I figured out how to make it repeat over and over today). "Stay with me, baby stay with me. Tonight don't leave me alone." I only know half of the words so far so I alternate between singing and humming along until the chorus comes. I lean back from my work to enjoy the feel of the words in my mind without distraction and sing along with them. "Well I'm not sure what this is gonna be, but with my eyes closed all I see is the skyline, through the window…" I hum the next few lines, " Taste your lips and feel your skin," my mind supplies an image of Lazuli's soft blue skin, which causes me to blush but I try to forget it as I continue to sing. "When the time comes, baby don't run, j-" A voice behind me startles me into silence as I wipe around to face the owner. Lazuli fines the chorus with "just kiss me slowly." She delivers the line without breaking eye contact. My cheeks flush further from the intensity of her stare.
"L-Lazuli! I didn't know you were there. When," I clear my throat as my voice breaks and use the excuse of standing up to cover it. Starting again, "When did you get back!" I'm not nervous. Nope, not at all.
Lazuli shrugs, "Just now. When did you get the new music?"
I would say she looks suspicious but that doesn't make sense so I ignore it as I explain.
"3 days ago! Garnet gave it to me herself!" I tell her proudly. "The Crystal Clods, I mean, Gems, are starting to come around to me. I expect to be "buddies" with Garnet soon."
Lazuli turns to look at something over her shoulder and I swear I see her glaring but as she turns back she's giving me one of her slightly amused laughs. I like it when she laughs.
"I'm sure." she agree, still chuckling and I my smile grows at the affirmation.
This is the most animated she has been with me since the "encounter" and of course I'm at a loss for words because of it. All I can think about is how the music is still playing and how I just want to be close to her once again. My body starts swaying to the music instinctively and I notice that hers is doing the same. I take this small sign and resolve my courage. I want to be near her.
Slowly and carefully I walk the short distance towards her, keeping my eyes on hers, giving her the time and freedom to stop me or tell me know if she doesn't want this, but she just keeps smiling. I gently reach out one hand as I get closer to her and place it on her waist. I hear her sigh, but her body moves closer to mine as I slightly pull her towards me, bringing up my other hand to her waist to secure her in front of me.
Without looking up, I breathe her in as I whisper the next line. "Stay with me, baby stay with me," I know my voice conveys the real question as I feel her arms wrap around my shoulders in response. I don't even attempt to sing the rest of the verses, focusing instead on listening to the words and relishing in the feel of her close to me. I feel her start to hum before I hear it. Our feet move us slowly in a circle till the final notes start to approach. I move myself slightly away from her, wanting to see into her eyes once more for the end of the song. She meets my gaze easily and switches to singing. "When the time comes, baby don't run, just kiss me slowly."
My unnecessary breath catches as she looks at me like I'm the only thing in the world right now, like I matter to her. I...It's overwhelming. The feelings in my head, the palpitations of my heart, the heat of her skin touching mine. It's all of a sudden overwhelming and confusing. My body instinctively takes a step away from her, from the source, creating much needed space. I release her waist to create some more distance and I feel her arms unwind from around my neck.
"Are you okay?" Lazuli asks, looking worried.
"Yes...No...I don't know." I answer, honestly not sure what's wrong with me. "I just needed, some space." I shrink in on myself. Feeling small again.
"Okay. That's okay Peridot. I won't push you into anything. You're safe with me." She's still close enough for me to breathe in her scent and that centers me a little as I nod my head in response.
"Would you like me to leave for a while?" She asks hesitantly.
"NO!" I reply too quickly, too loudly. "I mean, no. That is not necessary. I'm sure you're tired from flying so much everyday anyway." I try and keep the bitterness out of my voice but her slight flinch tells me I did a bad job of it.
Even still, she replies, "You're right. I'll probably stick to the barn for a few days. I have been out a lot. Perhaps we could work on the fields a little bit?"
"That would be acceptable. Pumpkin has missed you." I try not to sound like I care too much, but I couldn't be happier.
"I'm sure he has," Lazuli replies with a smirk.
"Would you like to help me get the tractor put back together?" I ask hopefully, not ready to be away from her.
She shrugs, "Sure."
I turn the music off of repeat and start the next song before we get to work.