CHAPTER 15 – Tears and Rain
Laughter and cheers of joy can be heard throughout the reception hall, continuing the celebration of two lovers united as one. Bright smiles upon every face sitting on their respective tables, looking at the couple in front – Aubrey and Jesse, with the look in their eyes that everyone can see. And that is pure love.
At that same moment, it might be a blessing that the heavy downpour of rain occurred on the city of Los Angeles. Thunder rolled around, causing purple lightning light up hiding behind stormy clouds.
But in contrast to both current events, somewhere inside the building, in the ladies' room to be specific – lies a quiet stare down between two women. A tension that still lingers between them, ever since their eyes met after an unnanounced departure of one Chloe Beale.
This talk, they both know, has been gone overdue and it's what needs to be done.
Because this is also what the both of them needed.
"I think we do." Chloe says, a timid smile on her lips but with hesitation and nervousness inside her. "Before anything, I just wanted to say I'm sorry. "
"What are you being sorry for?" Beca asks, it's not that she doesn't know…but more of the fact that she wants to know what Chloe meant with "being sorry".
"Uhm." Chloe paused, and then shrugged as she turned her body and leaned her back against the sink, avoiding the gaze Beca was directing towards her. "For everything?" she turns her head towards the brunette, with uncertainty in her eyes.
"Like what?" Beca asks again. Chloe looks back down to her shoes, then the cubicle door infront of her, and then raised her head to look up at the ceiling, trying to look for the answers she needed. The answers that Beca needed.
It took a few seconds of silence that Beca was just looking at Chloe while Chloe was looking around the room. The tension-filled air, getting bigger and heavier every second.
Chloe chokes a single airy laugh, stating her nervous state. "What do you mean, 'like what'?"
"Because I want you to say it." Beca said with a calm voice, but a firm one. Like, Chloe needs to say it. Her soft gaze a while ago became a hard stare, her eyes burning a hole on the side of Chloe's head and if she was just a stranger, maybe Chloe would've called 911 and report a stranger that was throwing daggers through their eyes at her.
"Say what, Becs?"
"You know what Chloe." Still in a calm and firm tone, Beca narrows her eyes at Chloe with her getting frustrated about this stupid game they both got into. And for a few moments of pause, and Chloe still wasn't speaking caused Beca roll her eyes as she huffed a blow of air through her mouth. She turns around and rubs her forehead while her eyes were closed, trying to keep her cool because this is so damn frustrating.
"Okay fine." Chloe finally said. "I'm sorry for…" Beca turns around and looks at her. "For last time."
Beca crosses her arms over chest. "What last time?"
"God, what do you want me to say Beca?" Chloe bursted with her arms lifted. "I mean, do you want me to say that I was a dick for leaving you that night after our kiss? Is that what you want me to say?"
Beca released her arms and took a few steps towards the blonde. "That wasn't what I was trying to imply, Chloe."
"Then what?"
"I wanted you" Beca said with emphasis, "to explain to me why you're doing this. Why you left me in the first place, why you came back with Kyle, why, why…"Beca's voice starts to waiver, her nose starts to itch, and she hates it so much because all the pent up feelings that she was strong enough to hide was starting to overpower her. She close her eyes and pinched the bridge of her nose, and shakes her head.
Chloe was just standing there, feeling guilty as hell and very shitty of herself because she can see, right in front of her that Beca is gonna cry, and she's the reason why the brunette was going to cry.
"I-I can't play these games anymore Chloe." Beca said, with a sniff. "I tried to put this on my own hands, I tried so hard in ignoring all of this bullshit." A tear started to drop from Beca's eye and slowly rolls down on her cheek. Chloe just looks at her in a way that she looks sorry, but don't know how to show it.
"I was so messed up when you left months ago, Chloe. And then I was just getting on being able to live without getting depressed for like, an hour each day and then…" Beca huffed, and blinked a few more times to prevent another tear from escaping her eyes, but was failing miserably and at this point she just didn't care. "And then you came back, with the hair color and Kyle…"
They were just looking at each other now, with Beca's damp ocean blue eyes and Chloe's pale blue eyes with the hint of crying soon. "And then you treat me like what we had was nothing, like we never had a 'something'." Beca reaches for a paper towel and folded it to carefully dry her eyes. "And then you kiss me, and it fucks everything up because I'm confused as fuck and then you say you're sorry about it, like it shouldn't have happened when in the first place you are the one who looked like you wanted to kiss me."
"It was a mistake, Bec."
"And I don't understand why!" Beca said. "I don't understand any single thing that has happened, because I knew I was living a life I know was a beautiful life! And in an instant, you left, and all of it came crashing down!" Beca said, another wave of tears continously flowing from her eyes. "Did you ever love me, Chloe?"
"Beca…"
"Do still love me?" Beca's voice was quiet now, fragile and broken.
Chloe has her mouth agape, she wanted to answer but the will to actually say something was gone. She can't move her lips to say the words Beca was longjng to hear, but she can't say it. Because saying it seems so unfair – unfair for Beca.
"Chloe – " Beca was cut off when the door opens and it reveals Stacie. They both look at the tall brunette, and vice versa.
Stacie noticed immediately the redness and dampness of Beca's eyes and sdhe hurries to the small brunette's side, a comforting hand on her shoulder. "Hey…" she whispers. She looks at Chloe with the same worried eyes and a tinge of a smile on her lips.
"Aubrey is looking for you guys." Stacie said. "Chloe why don't you head out first. Beca and I will follow through." Chloe nodded quietly and walked past them towards the door but before she opens the door, she turns around one more time and said, "I'm so, so sorry Beca" then leaves. As soon as the door was closed, Stacie moved infront of a silent Beca whose head was down.
"Hey, Bec…" Stacie tilted her head to look at Beca's face, but the now small and even more fragile Beca lowers her head to avoid Stacie's eyes. "Hey…" Stacie follows and hooked her fingers on Beca's chin to turn her face towards her. "Look at me."
Beca hesitantly looks towards Stacie's green eyes, and the tall brunette saw how much broken her friend is. "Oh Beca…" And on that moment, Beca breaks down, sobbing on her friend's chest, while hugging her tightly. Stacie knows and understand so she just rubs comforting circles over Beca's back.
All the pain, the heavy downpour of tears – just like the rain outside – if Stacie could take it away from Beca, all of it, she would.
It may have taken a solid 15 minutes or so, with Beca just clinging onto Stacie and just sobbing with Stacie rubbing her back. After that, it was quiet once again.
"So…" Stacie started, while Beca was infront of the sink drying her eyes.
"Hm?" Even a small hum, the crack in Beca's voice still can be heard.
"What do you wanna do now?"
Beca looks at her through the mirror, and saw Stacie's suggestive face and for the first time for feeling like it's been hours, Beca finally showed a small smile.
"What do you have in mind?" Beca asked.
"It's your call, Bec. Whatever you have in mind," Stacie moved beside Beca and puts an arm around her shoulders. "I'm with you all the way. Do you wanna hit it like old times?" she winked and Beca laughed, but it took a second for her to make a face. "Ew that made me sound so old, ugh."
"I just wanna get out of here, Stace."
"Alright. I'll let the newlywed know, you though, should go to the car. I'll follow you there." Stacie said.
"Yours or mine?"
"Yours. I'll just have Kirsten take my ride, I'll take care of it tomorrow. Tonight, you are my priority."
Beca nodded, and gave her friend a smile filled with gratitude. "I'll be on my way then."
"See you there."
Then Beca left off.
Chloe came back to the table and Kyle noticed her immediately, as well as Kirsten, Luke and Laura. They smiled at her for a second as she sits down, and then went back to looking at Aubrey & Jesse's current program.
"You've been in the rest room for quite a while, are you okay?" Kyle asked, concern clear on his face.
"Yeah, I am." She gave a fake smile, because she pretty damn know that she is anything but okay. She just sabotage any living chance of her and Beca getting back together.
Why didn't she do it? Why didn't she said a thing? Why didn't she told Beca the whole truth?
Maybe she was too scared. Maybe because she wasn't ready. Maybe this wasn't the right time to tell Beca everything…but that's the question.
When will be the right time? Because what if that was the right time and she let it pass, and after this – there's no more chance left?
Chloe rubs her eyebrows together and Kyle gave him a comforting rub on the shoulder, while keeping his eyes trained towards the continuing reception. Chloe kept berating herself inwardly, and if she wasn't mad at herself before, well, she was more than angry to herself now.
What she did to Beca…what she caused to Beca to be in so much pain right now is something she can't forgive herself for. She just want to disappear forever.
Well. Maybe not that, but she wants to piunish herself for causing Beca the struggle.
When she raised her head, she saw Stacie walking past the table towards Aubrey and Jesse. No Beca following her. So she looked around, and saw Beca's back leaving towards the exit. There's a part of her that wanted to follow the brunette, but…nope, it's not a very good idea to do that right now. She turned her head back to Stacie where she's now talking to the newlywed couple and the two have concerned faces but were nodding their heads in understanding.
Stacie pointed over her shoulder with her thumb, and then gave the couple a cheek-to-cheek kiss before walking towards the table.
"Hey guys." She greeted but she didn't sit down. Instead, she took hers and Beca's purses.
"Where're you going?" Luke asked.
"I have to be somewhere. Like, really need to be somewhere. Oh yeah, Kirsten here's my keys to my car. You can use it tonight. I'll just message you tomorrow if I'll be needing it. Enjoy!" she said as she dropped her carkeys infront of Kirsten.
"I already told Jaubrey over there so, I'll see you guys!" she said with a wave and then headed towards where Beca was walking to moments ago. Chloe followed her with her eyes.
"What the hell is Jaubrey?" Luke chuckled, shaking his head in Stacie's amusing term.
"I believe it's a ship name for Jesse and Aubrey." Kirsten laughs, and then took a second to glance at Chloe.
Chloe stared back at her and it gave her a sense of feeling that somehow, Kirsten knows what just happened, even if she wasn't there. Apparently, that's not far from being possible because she's one of Beca's closest friends.
The table laughed except for Chloe, because she was too engrossed in her thoughts about the situation around her, and what just transpired between her relationship with Beca and the effects and consequences she's about to experience because of it.
After everything she has sacrificed, she ends up hurting the one person she doesn't want to hurt at all. She sighed defeatedly.
Beca walks out the building and was fully aware that it was raining so hard that in a matter of a second, she'll be drenched. She's wearing a 4-inch heels, wearing a white cocktail dress and she has no umbrella.
But she really needs to get out of here.
She looks up towards the evening sky, seeing the droplets of water gracefully falling towards the ground and she smiled.
"Fuck it." She said. And off she go running through the mad shower, with an attempt of covering her eyesight with her left hand as she runs as fast as her legs can carry herself with those shoes on the way to the parking lot and searching for her car. Once she found it, she hurriedly walked towards it and click the unlock button on her device with her car keys. "Shit, I'm drenched." She said, giggled in fact. And she doesn't know why. But somehow, she felt liberated.
Not so long after, Stacie entered the driver seat, then closing her umbrella and putting their purses at the backseat. She noticed Beca and her jaw dropped.
"You son of a bitch! Why didn't you let someone escort you towards here?" she asked, worried and mad.
Beca shrugged. "It's not a big deal really, I could use a great shower after all."
Stacie hits her lightly with her hand and Beca tried to cover herself with her arms. "You, might, get, sick, you idiot!" Stacie said, hitting Beca along the words.
"Alright, alright, I'll take a nice warm bath once we get home, okay?"
"Oh you bet, I would make you take a nice warm bath when we get home." Stacie pointed at her. "And you'll be wearing the most comfortable pajamas and I'll make you a hot chocolate and we'll watch whatever it is you want to watch on TV." Stacie said.
"Oh! Can we play PS4 instead? I have a new game, called Fallout 4."
"As long as you're happy, we'll do it."
"And order lots of Pizza!"
"That one too." Stacie nodded with a happy smile, proud of her brave friend. And then they took off.
A/N: OH MY GOD. I ACTUALLY DID IT. I finished this chapter! Fucking finally!
Okay, before you go killing me for leaving you guys hanging for about 4 months, I actually have some solid reasons why I haven't been able to update as quick as I was then. Well, I just graduated from college(yey!) and so we had a family vactaion and then having a job with responsibilities and shit. And of course, the well-known writer's block, because of the lack of motivation.
I know I have been posting in tumblr that I will be updating soon, and in my defense I was actually going to do it. But then the chapter seemed to be a bit off to me, so I didn't pushed it. And it lead me to re-write the whole chapter, because I had maybe somehow forgotten the whole feel of the story. But thankfully, it brought me back.
Anyway, this chapter was originally planned to end in a very, very, very depressing way but then I thought. "Beca has suffered enough. I have to make her not so depressing on this one." And so, yeah. As for Chloe, well…you'll be finding it out on the following chapters since from then on, it will be her side of the story that we'll be knowing. YEY!
Are you guys excited? 'Cause I know I am! And also, thank you so so so much guys for the continued support and for always hanging around – checking for updates! I am flabbergasted to see that this story has reached 200 follows and 100 faves! You guys are the best. I hope you all like this chapter and was able to make up for not updating for months, I'm really sorry about that, you guys. I love you all, seriously.
'Till next time!