I own nothing here. Except the writing…and the storyline…and the angst…and the bad plot points.

The dreams came in snatches of terror, explosions, and pain. Nothing made sense, but the images flashing through his brain were enough to have Alex gasping for air as he woke, trembling all over, and unable to shake the broken look in Tom's dead eyes from his mind.

Liam was at his side almost immediately, reassuring him that he was safe, but that wasn't what Alex wanted to hear.

"Tom? Where's Tom?" He couldn't remember what had happened to his best friend. He'd been there...and then he hadn't. His chest was tight with fear and while he knew it was probably irrational, he had to know that Tom was okay.

But Liam had no clue what he was talking about.

Of course.

He hadn't been there that night Tom had shown up, dripping wet and wonderfully familiar.

The panic rose in Alex's throat, and he flung back the sheets, swinging his legs over the side of the bed. His knees buckled when he tried to stand, and if it weren't for Liam's hands reaching out and catching him, he would have fallen to the floor.

"Alex. Alex. What's wrong?" Liam asked, still supporting the trembling teen.

"Where's Wolf?" Alex asked, in-between gasps for air. His chest was tight, and he scrambled at it with his hand, pushing down hard, and coughing.

"He's on duty right now, Alex, but you need to breathe, buddy."

Alex stumbled to the door, Liam still supporting his thin frame, and clutched the door frame, his vision blurring and legs shaking. His lungs burned.

"Wolf!" He shouted, pushing Liam away and walking towards the stairs, clutching the rail with one hand, the other still bunching up his sweatshirt in a white-knuckled grip.

His head swam, and he sank to the first step, head going between his knees as he coughed and gasped for air. His face felt wet; he didn't know when the crying had started.

What if something had happened to Tom? All because he couldn't take care of himself, and had been so selfish, demanding that all the attention be on him with that stupid, stupid argument he'd had with Wolf…

Then Fox had gone missing.

Alex didn't think he could take another person leaving.

Liam's hand rested on his back, but Alex couldn't hear anything through the thoughts raging in his head, and the way his limbs tingled and went numb, how the burning in his lungs became sharper, each wheeze feeling as though he was breathing glass.

Stupid. Stupid. All your fault.

He didn't even try to stop the flashback. Instead, he fell headfirst, plunging his world into darkness.

"Alex." Falcon's voice is soft, and Alex wants to reach out and grab hold of it and never let go, because he knows that he will probably never hear it again. Instead, he opens his eyes, and finds himself curled on his side at the old safe-house, Falcon crouching down beside the bed. "Hey." The soldier sounds so concerned, and there's a furrow in his brow that makes Alex's fingers itch to just fix it and his head aches with guilt. "What's wrong?"

Alex doesn't quite know why he feels so numb and so so heavy, but there are many reasons he could give. Like Jack's death. His uncle. His health. MI6's abuse. Instead he just shrugs, even though the guilt from lying and making the others worry threatens to choke him.

Falcon's face becomes unreadable, and Alex knows he's seen straight through the lie the teen has made. A part of him just doesn't care, so Alex makes no move to tell the truth. Talking feels like too much work right now.

"I don't know what's happened to you, what's made you doubt that things will be okay again, but I can tell you, as someone who felt that way too, it does get better. Eventually. You just have to work at it. Don't let whoever hurt you be the person that defines how you live your life. That's giving them more than what they took from you. And no one deserves to have their life taken away before it's time. Please Alex, don't let this break you. Let it make you stronger."

Alex suddenly feels like crying. He's not exactly sure why, but he's never really had someone tell him the things that Falcon has.

"If you ever want to talk about things, get stuff off your chest, or just need a hug, I'm here. We all are. You're not alone in this, I promise." Falcon smiles, but his eyes are sad.

Alex tries to take a shaky breath, but a small sob makes its way out instead. He tries to swallow it down. He doesn't want to cry.

"Hey, don't push it down. It's okay to cry." Falcon reaches out, but stops himself at the last minute. His voice is heavy with emotion.

Alex just shakes his head, and tries to make himself smaller, curling into a ball, his head tucked into his arms. He doesn't want to let go. He doesn't want to appear weak. But it's getting harder and harder to keep it all inside.

"Can I-" Falcon cuts himself off, sounding frustrated, and Alex opens his eyes and sees the frown on Falcon's face, the doubt visualized in the way the corners of his mouth are pulled down, and the eyes cautious. "Can I hug you?"

The soft words break the dam around Alex's emotions and a sob tears out of him. He feels so small, and vulnerable and he hates it, but he nods and a hand reaches out for comfort. Falcon's face crumples and he pulls Alex to himself, strong arms wrapping around the teenager.

Alex cries, and clings to Falcon's shirt as the sobs manage to rip their way out of him, leaving him breathless and exhausted.

"It'll be okay. I've got you."

"Everyone always leaves and it's not fair." Alex sobs out. "And I'm so tired of being alone, but no-one ever stays. They always leave."

"Hey." Falcon pulls back a little and puts his hands on either side of Alex's face, thumbs gently brushing the tears away. "I'm not leaving you. I promise."

"You can't – promise things like that." The tears have subsided only a little, little hiccups replacing them that make Alex feel so much younger than he is. "MI6, they'll just take me away. Or you'll have to go."

"Even if I'm not with you in person, I'm with you in spirit. If I have to go, I'll come back. I promise."

Alex jerked back to reality, the phantom feel of Falcon's arms around him making him feel colder and emptier than before. He was crying, taking huge gulps of air that only came right back out with a sob, and Liam looked very concerned. Snake was there too, holding Alex's forearms and saying something that Alex only now caught the end of.

"-wake up. Come on, buddy, talk to me."

"Please." Alex gasps out.

"Alex, hey, what's wrong?" Snake tries for a smile but Alex can see the worry right through it.

"I can't do this anymore." Alex sobs, his small form shaking. "Please don't make me do this anymore."

"Alex, we're not making you do anything." Liam says from behind Snake, but Alex doesn't acknowledge him.

"Don't let them take me back. I don't want to go back. Please don't make me go back. Please."

Snake gathered the boy into his arms, and Alex buried his face in the man's shoulder. Everything seemed so dark and heavy; the emotions were crashing over him, coming in waves with no reprieve.

"No one's going to take you away from us. You're here for good. I promise."

The words brought a sharp pang of grief to Alex's chest. Falcon had said something much the same and look where he was.

Suddenly, Alex was reminded of his original mission, and it was with shaking arms that he pulled back from Snake and tried to ask through the tears that just wouldn't stop, "What – happened to Tom?"

"Take a breath darling," Snake demonstrated and Alex struggled to follow, "and try again."

"Where's Tom?"

"Mrs. Jones took him back to HQ with her, and sent him off to live with his brother, who will be receiving money from her to properly care for Tom, so you don't need to worry about it. He came to you to ask if he could stay for a bit, because his parents were fighting again and it's not a place he wanted to be, but he had no way of getting to his brother, and figured that you were probably the best choice. Hopefully, he'll be able to join you once we get you out of here and under the radar."

"That's never going to happen." Alex said, as he slumped back into Snake's arms. He felt drained and though the crying had mostly stopped, his breathing still hitched frequently, his lungs trying to get back to their original rhythm of breathing. "MI6 will never let me go."

"You've got more people on your side than you think Alex." Snake held the boy a little tighter, but Alex just closed his eyes, and shook his head too exhausted to disagree verbally. A few tears fell down his cheeks.

After a moment, Liam spoke up again, and Alex had almost forgotten he was there. "Do you think you could eat something Alex? You need to start getting your strength back so your body can heal."

Alex simply shrugged, and got up when Snake prompted him to. Of course, the soldier had to support him the entire way to the kitchen, which was a little humiliating, but Alex was too weak to do everything himself.

"I'll heat you up some soup." Liam said, distractedly, bustling about the kitchen, opening and closing cupboards.

Snake sat down next to Alex at the bar in the kitchen and let the teen lean against him, even going so far as to push Alex's head down on his shoulder. Alex didn't really mind, as much as he hated to admit it. He missed the physical contact that Falcon and Tom and Jack and Ian had provided. He missed them so much.

Stop. Thinking. About. Them.

"Where are the others?" Snake asked, but Alex zoned out, completely missing Liam's reply. After a while, Snake tentatively brushed his fingers through Alex's hair, and the teen unconsciously leaned into the touch, craving it. Alex relaxed into Snake even farther, and he vaguely felt the man chuckle, the vibrations encouraging his eyes to close.

"Don't fall asleep, buddy. You still have to eat." There was a smile in the older man's voice.

"'m not asleep." Alex mumbled, sitting up again as Snake's hand slid out of his hair. Immediately Alex missed the warmth and comfort it had provided, but he kept his mouth shut.

Liam set a steaming bowl in front of Alex, and smiled gently. "It's some stew leftover from last night. I couldn't find any canned soup that would give you the nutrients that you need, so this was the next best thing. I figured we could start with this and if you're still hungry after, we can try something else."

"Yeah, okay." Alex answered softly, hesitantly picking up the spoon sitting beside the bowl and dipping it into the stew. His stomach rolled.

They're taking away the one thing I have left.

They're taking away my control. My way out.

I can't do this.

He dropped the spoon into the bowl with a clatter, and put his face in his trembling hands, his head throbbing.

"Oh Alex." A hand came and gently brushed away the tears Alex didn't even know had fallen. "Just try a few bites."

"I can't." Alex's voice wobbled and anger rose up in him. Why did he have to be so emotional? What happened to the Alex who never felt anything but anger and never cried? WHY DID HE CRY ABOUT EVERYTHING?

"Just five bites Alex. That's all it is. You don't have to finish it. Just five bites." Liam's voice was soft, but had taken a parental tone to it, and if Alex hadn't been so tired he would have made some biting remark about how he wasn't a child and didn't need to be treated like one. As it was, he could barely keep his eyes open.

He had done absolutely nothing, and already he was ready to sleep for another 24 hours.

"Please Alex." Snake sounded a little desperate, and Alex quickly picked up the spoon again, before someone else did and tried to feed him. He wasn't a baby.

Taking a small bite, Alex tried to swallow around the lump in his throat. The stew was the perfect temperature, not too hot and not too warm, and it tasted delicious, but every single part of Alex wanted to spit it out and never eat again.

Still, he swallowed and took another bite, and another, trying to hide the way he could feel it going down into his stomach. To be truthful, his stomach was probably the only part of him that was thankful for the food, not having eaten anything in the last 48 hours or longer.

Just as he was about to raise the spoon to his lips for a fourth time, Lion burst into the kitchen, a torn piece of lined paper in his hand.

"Does anyone know where Panther is?" He asked, panting a little.

"He should still be sleeping, why?" Snake replied, a frown forming on his face, and his hand slid from Alex's shoulder.

"I've got this encoded message from someone who claims to be his insider in MI6."

"Give it here." Alex slid into his "spy mode", as Tom once jokingly called it, and put the spoon down in the bowl, pushing it away, and reaching for the paper.

Lion shot a glance at Snake, who inclined his head as if to say, "Go on." Alex hardly noticed Liam taking the bowl away with a sad look on his face, disappointment and concern written all over him. Part of him was glad they'd been interrupted; now he wouldn't have to eat the mandatory "five bites." The other part of him begged for more.

Alex studied the paper in his hands, taking in the carefully coded words and hidden meanings, all brought together in a unique and beautiful way. He recognized the style almost immediately. He'd only ever seen it once or twice, lying around on a workbench, or filed deep in the weapons archive back at HQ.

He knew the sender too.

"I need to find Panther immediately." Alex finally said, voice terse, as he attempted to stand up.

This was about to get very interesting very fast, and hopefully, questions would be answered.

Maybe there was a way to get him away from MI6.

(LINEBREAK)

The light was watery, and dim, but it was still light. Falcon relished these rare moments in the morning, when the sun would hit the windows just right and come shining through. He wasn't sure where he was, but the long confinement with an intentional lack of food and proper amounts of water had been made more bearable by Fox's arrival three days ago. As of right now, the other soldier was sitting on the cold concrete ground by the far wall, out of reach of the sun. His eyes were closed, but Falcon knew better than to believe the man was asleep.

Walking over to him, one hand on the wall for support, Falcon slowly lowered himself down next to Fox, and tried to ignore the way the frigid dampness sank into his bones.

"What are you thinking about?" He asked quietly, the Irish lilt to his words filling the small space.

"I don't understand why they haven't done anything to hurt us yet." Fox answered, his voice even softer.

Falcon shrugged. "Maybe they want to prolong our suffering. Make us weak and then hurt us."

"I don't know. I don't like not knowing." Fox replied, finally opening his eyes.

After a moment, Falcon spoke again. "How was Alex, when you saw him last?"

Fox sighed. "He's not doing too well. Still refuses to eat. Won't talk. Jumps at the tiniest noise. He stays in his room mostly. The others aren't doing much better. Like I said yesterday, MI6 gave up looking for you and reported you as MIA about a week ago. They all think you're dead." Fox paused, picking at a thread sticking out of Falcon's heavy overcoat that he'd let Fox borrow since the man had come in with just a shirt and joggers. "They probably think I'm dead too."

Falcon let the silence rest for a moment before he replied. "Don't give up. That's exactly what they want us to do. The others will find us. You'll see."

Fox scoffed. "You didn't see the way they fell apart after you left. No-one's coming to get us. They don't even know why we're here. I don't even know why we're here."

Falcon frowned. "It's not always important why we are put through hard times, but how we respond to them. I'd rather die fighting, then let them win. Don't you see? We're here because whoever did this to us wants to get back at Alex somehow. Every time he gets close to someone, they either die, or disappear. Alex is a smart lad, he'll figure it out. And then it's only a matter of time before they rescue us."

"You don't know anything." Fox stood up and walked to the complete other side of the room.

Falcon swallowed down the hurt and the way the other's clear dismissal and obvious frustration stung him, and instead reminded himself that the man was not frustrated with Falcon, but rather with the situation and himself. The Irish soldier laid down and stretched out, his head beginning to pound again. The room was cold and he didn't have a blanket, but he curled up as best he could and tried to hide the shivers and muffle the small coughs that rattled in his chest.

All he needed was some sleep, and then he'd feel better.

Just as he was about to drift off, fingers and toes numb, he felt a warm, heavy jacket laid on top of him.

"I'm sorry for getting angry with you." Fox whispered. "You were right. We'll get out of here somehow."

Some shuffling was heard, and a body laid down next to Falcon, sandwiching him into the wall. The jacket was tucked more firmly around his neck, and an arm thrown across his abdomen, probably to conserve body heat.

Why did it seem colder?

"Go to sleep." Fox whispered.

It's finally up! I'm so sorry for making everyone wait all the time, but I had to make sure this was perfect before I uploaded it, and even then, I'm not too satisfied with it, but it is what it is, and I wanted to give you all something, because you've been so patient with me.

The next chapter is in the works, I just need to section it out, and figure out what exactly I'm putting in this particular chapter. Like, I have the story line and everything, but I need to plan the little things.

Anyway, I hope you enjoyed it!

Over and out,

AgentAlexxRider101

"Watch, stand fast in the faith, be brave, be strong. Let all that you do be done with love." - 1 Corinthians 16:13-14