Jaune Arc was truly understanding one of his father's quirks for the first time as he stood upon the stage of Beacon's auditorium. Professor Ozpin had announced that Jaune Arc, painfully average in pretty much every conceivable Huntsman skill, was now the leader of Team JNPR. It seemed almost out of place that Jaune was leading a team with Pyrrha the Invincible Girl, Ren the Ninja, and Nora the Destroyer of Worlds and She of the Boop. Still, here he was.
There were cheers and adulation from almost everyone. Pyrrha was beaming at him and even playfull punched him in the arm. 'She's not only hot, but incredibly strong. Did Pyrrha win the genetic lotto or something?' He returned the smiles of his team gladly. JNPR was the center of attention and Jaune couldn't deny it was a rush. Ren seemed as nonplussed as always. Nora was simply Nora. The Arc was pretty sure she wasn't aware of the sheer numbers or more than likely simply didn't have a single care to give to the situation. Pyrrha handled it like a seasoned pro. Which, Jaune sheepishly remembered, she evidently was.
JNPR ducked off the stage and cheered heartily when their friends were announced as Team RWBY under Ruby's command. The younger girl was even more stunned by her appointment as team leader than anyone. She looked between her exceedingly proud sister, Professor Ozpin, and Jaune. Ruby set her gaze on Jaune, her skin flushed from the avalanche of unexpected attention, and mouthed "Me?"
"You," Jaune mouthed back.
"She is certainly a talented girl," Ren observed.
"Yes, her skills are quite exceptional," Pyrrha praised. Jaune successfully fought the urge to gulp at the mental image filling his head. It resembled his sisters jousting for the last piece of Chocolate Apocalypse Cake.
Just with Pyrrha wielding Miló and Akoúo̱ and Ruby wielding Crescent Rose instead of forks. Oh, and Jaune was the cake.
He looked around for some form of support. Ren gave him a sympathetic look. Blake and Weiss seemed curious more than concerned. Nora and Yang...Nora and Yang had the single most terrifying reaction to the situation. They probably viewed the situation as an open flame and their possible involvement as a sizable cache of Fire Element Dust. Jaune had been too distracted by the five incredibly beautiful women he had met, nearly being eaten by hundreds of Talaridris, and being assigned to Team JNPR to wonder what had happened to that one racist guy from the airship. It appeared that Cardin Winchester, as Jaune now knew him, had no such distractions. Cardin picked out Jaune from the crowd and glared.
"What's with him?" Nora asked.
Jaune chuckled. "He and I had a run in on the airship. Cardin may have made some racist comments about Faunus that led Captain Colcannon to nearly throw him off the ship."
Pyrrha's expression suddenly hardened. "The world has enough problems without adding more bigots to the mix."
"We can break his legs!" Nora added helpfully.
Ren and Jaune exchanged a look, complete with an eye roll. JNPR's leader let Ren take the lead with Nora. "Nora, I'm not sure attacking a fellow classmate outside of combat training is a good idea."
"Does that mean I can break his legs in combat training?" Nora asked hopefully.
"If you behave...and he misbehaves," Jaune answered playfully. His flippant answer received a weary, but amused, glare from Ren. Pyrrha simply rolled her eyes with a contented smirk. Nora threw her arms up and cried, "He said maybe, Ren!"
Jaune wondered if this would become a trend.
"This has to be on purpose," Yang said as she compared Team RWBY's dorm assignment to Team JNPR's dorm assignment (by looking at Jaune's pilfered Scroll).
Nora high-fived Ruby. "I'm not complaining!"
"Oh yeah! This is awesome! We are going to be the two best teams ever! RWBY will be 1a and JNPR will be 1b!" Ruby announced and extended her hands. Surprisingly, Blake and Weiss were the first to grant Ruby a five.
"We'll see about that!" Jaune laughed as he entered the dorm room. "Ren, Nora, and Pyrrha...feel free to pick your own beds. I'm checking the kitchen."
Jaune was quite pleased with the set-up. The appliances were far more modern than he expected and there was a purely electric stove set up. Jaune could hear his dad and mom both complaining about the electric set up. Being cooking traditionalists was one of the few things they had ever really agreed on. Jaune respected tradition, but he honestly preferred having more even heat distribution that went with a purely electric stove-top. Satisfied with the entire kitchen layout, especially the snazzy granite counter tops, Jaune emerged triumphantly from the kitchen.
"I have good news and bad news," Jaune announced. The rest of JNPR gave their team leader complete attention. "We need to make sure RWBY hears this, too."
"What are we waiting for, oh Fearless Leader?" Nora questioned. Jaune shook his head. Nora was certainly a trip. JNPR crossed the hall and Nora pretty much tried to knock down the door.
Weiss swung the door open and wore a fairly angry expression. No one could really blame her. The Hyperactive Valkyrie had just attempted to reduce her dorm's door to splinters. "May I help you all?"
Jaune had to admit that even nearly pissed off, Weiss was carrying herself with incredible grace and poise. It was going to be hard enough on his hormones to be partnered with a statuesque beauty like Pyrrha. Team RWBY was just across the hall. Each member was an almost unfairly hot woman in their own right. Standing in front of him was Exhibit W.
Composing himself quickly, Jaune put forth his most casual grin. "Just wanted to give you an update and invite the rest of your team to a dinner in a few days."
"Why a few days?" Weiss actually pouted.
'Holy crap, that was adorable,' Jaune struggled to stay composed. "Well, we have class tomorrow for one. I also have to unpack my pots, pans, and other equipment. Then there's the fact I can't cook hopes and dreams to make the fish tacos and your tarts."
The Arc was pretty sure Ruby had used her Semblance. No one else could possibly cross the dorm room that fast. Jaune blinked away the blur and realized he was wrong. Somehow, Blake had practically teleported in front of Weiss.
"Hey!" Weiss squawked in surprise.
"Did you say fish?" Blake interrogated Jaune excitedly. The girl's striking gold eyes were practically shimmering with excitement. "What kind? What kind of fish?"
Nora leaned close to Ren and whispered, "Is this what I'm like when someone mentions pancakes?"
Ren nodded, but allowed Jaune to recover from the shock. "Well," Jaune started. "Pyrrha requested Mahi. It's actually a great choice for tacos. Very mild, sweet. I'm thinking serving it blackened. Does everyone like avocados?"
"Avocados are a fantastic choice," Pyrrha said happily. "They are wonderfully healthy and delicious."
"They also won't overpower the fish..." Jaune was already planning the recipe out down to presentation.
Weiss cleared her throat and shuffled uncomfortably as Ruby had poked her head through the crook of her arm. The young prodigy hummed before asking eloquently, "Ava-what-o?"
"Avocado. It's what guacamole is made out of," Jaune explained.
Ruby's face lit up. "I love guacamole!"
"It appears you are quite the experienced cook, Jaune," Ren added.
"More of a hobby, but I've been around kitchens and cooking all my life," Jaune admitted as he self-consciously ran a hand through his hair.
Yang glided into the room. "I heard tacos and I got here as fast as I could."
"Jaune's going to make all of us fish tacos!" Ruby chattered happily to her beloved big sister.
Weiss pushed Ruby's head out of her personal space and straightened her expensive jacket and Combat Skirt. The Schnee Heiress was struggling to maintain her dignified front. She was simply having too much fun. Her father's expectations, and the constant comparisons to her sister, made the already regimented Atlas society nigh unbearable. Here, Weiss realized she could simply be.
"Don't forget about our deal, Mr. Arc," Weiss decided to let her guard down a fraction and have a bit of fun. The Heiress still wasn't sure what to make of Jaune, but he seemed to be a pleasant enough sort. He struck Weiss as incredibly cheesy, but Jaune hadn't crossed over into pushy or overt. It would be refreshing to allow a friendship to develop naturally without politics or business concerns getting in their way.
"Two Blueberry-lemon tarts. I'll even throw in some fancy garnishes so it looks pretty."
Weiss flipped her ponytail over her shoulder. "It is official. I have graciously decided to allow you to live across the hall from us."
"Oh thank you, Ms. Schnee for such generosity," Jaune deadpanned.
Nora cleared her throat with the subtlety of the entire Atlas Military marching across Beacon's main courtyard. "So, Ladies, my dear Renny...and...uh, Jaune! All this talk about food is making me hungry! Who's up for a trip to the dining hall to see what meals bought from the lowest bidder are like?"
Pyrrha put her hand on Jaune's shoulder. "Are you sure you can't cook hopes and dreams, Jaune?"
"I'm sure I could give it a shot," Jaune continued his deadpan musings. "What kind of meal do you think hopes and dreams would end up being?"
The tone was softer and lacked the surprisingly friendly sarcasm present in his first comment. There was just something genuine about Jaune Arc that put the four-time champion at complete ease. "Chocolate Baklava would probably be dreams. Hopes?" She rested a balled fist on her hips as she considered several options. A wave of wistfulness and nostalgic regret lapped at her childhood memories. "My grandmother's Moussaka...I...I haven't had it since her village..."
She quickly pushed those harrowing memories aside. They were the reason Pyrrha was adamant about pursuing the path of the Huntress over a 'cozy' career of modeling or acting. She had been blessed with incredible talents for combat. She could serve mankind, both humans and Faunus, in a truly meaningful way along her chosen path.
"That's why we're here," Jaune agreed with the unspoken declaration. "Like Ruby and Blake said our first night here. We've got to earn our happy endings. If we do our jobs, everyone else gets one too."
Pyrrha couldn't have asked for a better partner. She cast a glance around and saw how easy the conversations between RWBY, Nora, and Ren was flowing. She couldn't have asked for better...friends.
Teams JNPR and RWBY sat near the front of Professor Port's Grimm Studies class. Everyone was quickly losing focus as Professor Port taught the class less as a 'what to expect with Grimm' class and 'I was awesome back in the day,' symposium. Pyrrha, Weiss, and Ren were the only ones not completely bored out of their minds. Luckily, RWBY and JNPR were pretty much two halves of one team. They'd probably collaborate on notes after class.
"Now, does any of you fine young people think they have what it takes to be a true Huntsman or Huntress?" Port asked grandly. His mustache seemed to twitch with each word. The facial hair was so thick it seemed to cover his mouth. His naturally narrow eyes settled on Yang. "How about you, fair lass? Do you think you are Huntress material?"
Yang was decidedly creeped out by the attention from the portly professor. 'Heh, still got it,' Yang thought to herself to distract her from her uncomfortable situation. "I know how good I am. The only place I need to prove it is in the field."
"A delightful answer, miss." Port's mustache continued to articulate his words. "Would any of like to demonstrate your skills in a more...public and relaxed setting?"
Blake felt like a coiled spring. She was incredibly bored and could not stand how pretentious and self-centered Port was in handling the class. On top of her 'concerns' about Port, the cage off to the side constantly thundered as the imprisoned Grimm attempted to escape. The bullheaded lust for violence triggered uncomfortable memories.
"I will," Blake volunteered. She hid her frown as fully as she was capable. It was almost paradoxical, but volunteering to fight a Grimm was yet another form of running away. Even in a 'safe' environment surrounded by friends who really knew nothing of her sordid past, Blake Belladonna was running away. She made it three steps from her seat when a voice called out.
"It's probably a Boarbatusk." Blake turned to the speaker, which was surprisingly Jaune. "I'm sure you know where their vulnerable."
Blake nodded. She was a bit surprised that someone who was so new to her possessed such confidence in her abilities. It was a pleasant change of pace. Buoyed by Jaune's verbal support and the silent support of everyone else, Blake quickly left to retrieve her combat gear. Gambol Shroud rested comfortably in her hands as she looked at her reflection in a nearby mirror.
'Maybe, I have found a place...friends...where I wont' have to wear my bow anymore...' Blake wished against wishing.
The closeted Faunus snorted as she saw Ruby and Yang had somehow procured red RWBY pennants. Nora was grinning in a way that made Blake wonder if the 'Destroyer of Worlds' had a hand in the odd accessory.
"Are you ready, Miss Belladonna?" Professor Port pondered from his position near the cage.
Blake nodded and the cage opened. The suspicions she shared with Jaune were correct. The Boarbatusk pawed furiously at the hardwood floor. Blake extended Gambol Shroud into both its katana form and its sheath-sword. She was confident in her accuracy, but the barriers separating the impromptu arena and Blake's fellow students was too thin to risk using her gun.
'Boarbatusk shouldn't be a problem.' Blake readied herself and the Grimm responded with its signature assault. It spun wildly and rampaged across the room. The odd attack was not just devastating in its momentum, but served as a surprisingly effective defense. As long as the Boarbatusk was spinning, the vulnerable belly was practically untouchable. 'Still, the beast is predictable,' the Huntress thought to herself as she leapt clear of the assault.
A mighty crash rang out as the Grimm impacted against the barrier. The monster shook its head to clear the cobwebs created from its sudden stop. It was all the opening Blake needed. She rushed forward and slashed at both of the Grimm's left legs. It squealed angrily in pain, but the damage was done. The beast fell on its side. Blake strutted to the downed monster and stabbed Gambol Shroud's Katana form into the creature's exposed underbelly. The class, mostly, erupted into cheers or other celebratory actions at Blake's performance. Naturally, Ruby and Nora were making up for any lack of energy from others.
"Blake~!" Ruby squealed. "You were awesome! Thank you for proving that Team RWBY is 1a to JNPR's 1b!"
"I can uninvite RWBY to dinner," Jaune casually mentioned. Team RWBY gasped. Weiss and Blake looked especially mortified. The two exceptionally graceful members of Team RWBY were on the verge of tears.
"My tarts!" Weiss whimpered.
Blake whipped her head from gazing in shock at Ruby and in horror at Jaune. "Y-You wouldn't!"
'What...what have I done?' Jaune silently wondered, but his duty as leader of JNPR demanded he stay the course. "We can decide 1a and 1b at the end of the semester. I'd say we are even until finals. If, Miss Rose, you agree to that...I am sure we can work out something about dinner!" Jaune made sure to finish his ultimatum as playfully as possible.
Ruby gaped and looked to RWBY for support. Yang was failing to look stoic. Weiss and Blake were staring daggers at Ruby with an intensity of a thousand suns. "O-On behalf of Team RWBY, I agree."
"Excellent. We can go shopping for ingredients tomorrow!" Jaune smirked.
The four young women of JNPR's allied team breathed a sigh of utter relief. RWBY and JNPR did not have the next class together, and somewhat reluctantly split ways.
As soon as the other team was out of earshot, Nora spun in front of Jaune with a wicked smile. "Fearless leader, that was shockingly ruthless. Dare I say...underhanded and the closest I've ever seen to verbally breaking someone's legs?"
"Verbally breaking someone's legs?" Jaune asked looking to Ren and Pyrrha for some sort of context. Ren raised an eyebrow that Jaune roughly translated to 'Just nod and agree with Nora'. Pyrrha was struggling mightily not to bust out laughing. Her inexperience with this situation was showing. Jaune decided he had a new goal: make all four members of his team laugh at the same time. This wasn't the moment, but he would not abandon such a noble objective!
"I'd be failing in my duties as team leader if I didn't say we were the best. Tried to be diplomatic at least," Jaune finished with a shrug.
"We would launch a bloody coup d'etat if you didn't take up for us! Heads! Pikes! Walls! I would be the new queen of the castle! Ren would be the right hand of the queen! Pyrrha would lead my armies!" Nora started cackling. Ren buried his head in his right hand. The Invincible Girl's lips continued to twitch as they walked down the hall.
"If I survived, I'd probably end up as the jester-slash-cook," Jaune guessed.
Nora made a thoughtful noise as they rounded the corner. "Good idea. I'll have to find substitutes for the heads-on-pikes-on-walls!"
'Yup,' Jaune admitted to himself. 'Definitely a trend.'
Jaune wasn't even trying to hide the fact he was avoiding Cardin Winchester. The look the larger boy was giving Jaune probably translated to "I want to burn you at the stake." So, Jaune decided to avoid any situation that could possibly involve fire. The Arc Knight pointed picked up the chair with JNPR written on it and dragged it closer to Ruby and Atian were sitting.
"Atian, congrats on being named team leader. How's Dalm?" Jaune greeted his buddy.
"Thanks," Atian grinned. "Team ACDT is going great so far. Chehrehn and Tenné don't care that we are Faunus. They've been cool...except that Tenné takes forever in the morning. Must be a girl thing."
Ruby cleared her throat. "It isn't our fault we we have higher standards than you boys."
"I'm sure the rest of RWBY, Nora, and Pyrrha would agree," Jaune deadpanned.
"If you know what's good for you," Ruby teased. "We outnumber you seven to one."
"Seven?" Atian and Jaune asked at the same time.
The Reaper patted the folded Crescent Rose resting in her lap. "My baby is a girl and you'd do well to remember she is also a gun."
"Definitely a girl thing," Atian realized.
The distinctive sound of Glynda Goodwitch slapping her Riding Crop against the podium caused all conversation to flee from the room. Beacon's resident somewhat terrifying and absolutely beautiful discipline enforcing Combat Instructor glared across the conference room.
"I will be brief. As Team Leaders, the standards to which you must carry yourself are higher than any others here at Beacon," Glynda announced. Her gaze, somehow even more terrifying than before, swept over the first year team leaders. "You all aware that Beacon's standards are already very high. None of you would be hear if we felt there were deficiencies in your character."
The attention to detail Jaune's dad had drilled into him every visitation reared its head. Jaune couldn't help but notice that Glynda's gaze settled on Cardin, Ruby, and Jaune for a fraction of a second longer than any of the other leaders. Fortunately, Professor Goodwitch did not single out anyone in her speech. She did make it very clear that team leaders were responsible for the actions of their team. There were other responsibilities, but Jaune had expected those from the get-go.
Headmaster Ozpin may have let some of those details slip during the voice-call with Jaune and his dad a few weeks before letting Jaune into Beacon.
The meeting ended with no further glares or issues. Atian headed off to reunite with his team. Ruby and Jaune headed off together towards the dorms.
"You do remember where those are, right?" Jaune asked. "We don't have Weiss or Pyrrha to guide us."
Ruby puffed her cheeks out. "I can find my own room! I have my doubts about you, though."
"Doubts, eh?" Jaune asked.
"Yes. Doubts!" Ruby jabbed an accusatory finger in Jaune's face. "What kind of horrible monster would nearly make Blake and Weiss cry, eh? EH? I bet you'd do something as heinous as making oatmeal raisin cookies...you...you...fiend!"
"Oh no. My evil fiendish plan to destroy Beacon through oatmeal raisin cookies has been uncovered." Jaune retaliated by flicking Ruby in the forehead. The younger girl accented her pout with a blush.
"You...wouldn't actually do that would you?" Ruby asked as they resumed their walk.
The Chef shrugged. "If one of our friends asked. I'll probably end up cooking a lot for you all. Cooking is my hobby and I enjoy it."
"Could you teach me?" Ruby was confident she had straddled the line between 'Zwei-like enthusiasm' and 'out-and-out begging' quite well.
"Yeah, that is something we can do, Rubes."
"Rubes?"
"Rubes." Jaune repeated Ruby's question as an answer. The Reaper looked down and mumbled something. Jaune thought he heard Ruby something about 'at least Yang isn't here'. He brushed off the statement and steered the conversation towards a joint JNPR-RWBY journey into town. The dorks successfully returned to their rooms and parted ways for the evening. A beep from Jaune's scroll drew his attention.
[Jaune, I'm going to need the full story behind this! Package will be arriving at the 6th Street Station tomorrow afternoon. Keep making me proud and driving your mother crazy-Dad.]
"Huh, that was quick," Jaune whispered as he slipped into the dorm.
"So, what exactly does Professor Peach teach?" Yang asked the group. "I mean, it's like a mix of..." The Blonde Brawler, her official nickname according to Nora, shuddered. "Professor...Port and Professor Goodwitch's classes."
"Field training, perhaps? I believe her course is to see how our teams work together in a somewhat controlled environment outside of the school," Pyrrha supplied in exacting tones.
"Pyrrha does have a point. Primary Combat Schools never took a 'hands-off-ish' approach to dealing with Grimm," Blake supported the Hoplite.
The eight teens meandered through the streets of Vale. Jaune was reading off his recipes. He already had it memorized, but he liked to be precise. Most of the girls, surprisingly Weiss and Pyrrha included, practically squealed and ran across the boulevard.
"They are sooooo cute!" Ruby cried. Jaune cast a glance to the herd of gorgeousness that had congregated in front of the pet shop.
"Does anyone know if Beacon allows pets? Please tell me someone knows!" Weiss cooed.
Pyrrha had produced her scroll. "I will find out!"
Jaune leaned closer to Ren. "Why can't Remnant be overrun by stampedes of beautiful women instead of Grimm?"
"The world is cruel," Ren said simply. Blake rolled her eyes as she returned from where the other girls were 'discussing' which breed of dog to bring to the dorms.
"Not a fan of pets?" Jaune asked with a raised eyebrow.
"Not dogs," Blake clarified.
Jaune shrugged. He turned back to Ren. "Hey, I've got a package from my dad to pick up over at 6th Street. Could you let me know what kind of trouble our comrades get into?"
"Sure, but you owe me." Ren crossed his arms.
"I'm going to owe everyone at this point," Jaune laughed. "The package is actually your payment Blake. Want to tag along?"
"Sounds good. I'd rather not be involved in," Blake shuddered in a manner that resembled Yang when talking about Professor Port. "choosing a dog."
Jaune and Blake wished Ren good luck and headed off towards the postal station.
"I wasn't expecting the book so quick," Blake mentioned casually.
"Neither was I to be honest. My dad must have pulled some strings. The printings are usually on a tight schedule. How he got past the embargo date..." Jaune mused.
"Publishers hate leaks. Spoilers are among my trifecta of enemies." Blake actually chuckled a bit. Jaune was surprised. The young woman seemed, outwardly at least, to be just as professional and controlled as Pyrrha.
Well, at least until Pyrrha had revealed her full girlishness in the face of puppies.
"Grimm, spoilers, and what's the third?" Jaune asked flippantly. He had misread the sardonic and troubled nature of the laugh. The Arc's general belief in the innate nobility of people blinded him occasionally. The hard look he received from Blake was impossible to misread. Blake's inclusion of spoilers had been an attempt, and a weak one at that, at providing some verbal ibuprofen. Jaune nodded apologetically. They arrived at 6th Street Station a few minutes later.
"Hi," Jaune greeted the clerk warmly. His natural good cheer and optimism had returned after the stumble with misreading his beautiful golden-eyed friend earlier. "I'm Jaune Arc and I have a package from Atlas."
The clerk secured the package and the required paperwork to sign. Jaune finished the details and opened the package then and there. "Ah-ha!"
"One signed copy of Gris Fourneau's unreleased travel memoir, Kingdoms, Kitchens, and Chaos, for one Miss Blake Belladonna," Jaune announced and handed the book over.
Blake opened the over and read the writing on the inside cover, "Blake Belladonna, thank you for keeping Jaune from becoming a sailor. Wishing you success at Beacon, Gris Fourneau. He thanked me for keeping you from being a sailor?"
Jaune smiled at the girl's improved mood. It seemed the autograph smoothed things over after Jaune's earlier misstep. "If you'd been there the time I threw up on that press doodad on an airship, you'd understand."
"That bad?"
"At least they edited that out of the show," Jaune confessed in evident relief.
Blake was not one for schadenfreude. In fact, she despised the concept and how it always seemed to be derived from the misfortunes of the Faunus. The conversation was quickly redirected to what kind of horrors Ren was being subjected to.
"Thank you, Jaune. I should have said it sooner, but I appreciate the book," Blake genuinely smiled. Jaune was reduced to muttering dumbly as the full effect of Blake's smile took hold.
The universe really was trying to kill him by overdosing his exposure to unfairly beautiful women.
Pyrrha wore a serious expression as she slashed at Jaune's shield. The Arc knew that his partner was fighting at a speed that was comparable to her taking a bath in honey and...
...okay...as happy as that mental image was it definitely was not the time for it. He barely managed to avoid the utterly precise strike from Miló. Jaune countered attacked quickly with a shield bash feint and quick slash at the gap between Pyrrha's armor and waist. The 'Invincible Girl' actually smiled as she used Akoúo̱ to bat aside the blow.
"That was very good Jaune! We will continue to work on your speed and technique, but tactically you have incredible potential!"
"Really?" Jaune asked eagerly.
"I would not lie to you, Jaune. I am surprised you noticed the gap in my armor. That speaks well to your ability to quickly read your opponents," Pyrrha continued her praise.
"Yeah...that," Jaune quickly agreed. He wasn't sure if admitting he had been staring at her a lot due to the fact she was gorgeous would go over all too well.
"Regardless, it speaks very well to your potential. I am looking forward to being by your side as you unlock it." Pyrrha motioned with her Xiphos. Jaune smiled. The spar resumed at a higher rate of speed. Jaune tried to press the advantage using every feint and technique he could think of. Pyrrha had seen almost all of these strategies in the tournaments.
Almost.
Jaune used Crocea Mor's ability to collapse the shield to allow one of Pyrrha's strikes to go wide. He attempted to bash at Pyrrha, but the four time champion caught his wrist.
"You, Jaune Arc, are exceedingly clever. If you had gone to Sanctum, I fear that my position as four time champion would have been endangered!" Pyrrha was so genuine that Jaune had no grounds to doubt her. That was not the source of his frown as they separated. Jaune muttered something that Pyrrha didn't catch. "Jaune...is everything alright?"
"Yeah, they are now," Jaune's frown evaporated. His usual smile found its way back to its rightful perch. "It's just I did want to go to Sanctum. My parents...my parents separated when I was a kid. Mom didn't want me to be a Huntsman for a long time. She had custody and I didn't have a chance to attend school until Dad got some of his legal rights back."
"Oh, I am glad that everything has worked out!" Pyrrha smiled once again. A look of concern danced across her face as her partner's frown returned two-fold.
"I'm getting the same kind of nervous I got before the split though," Jaune mumbled.
"What? Why?" The Hoplite gasped.
Theatrically, Jaune gripped at his heart and threw his head back. "Team RWBY is trying to steal my partner with their shiny new aquarium! I'm not sure I can handle competing with a self-cleaning, automatic feeding aquarium filled with exotic fish that probably has a total cost that puts my grandparents' home to shame!"
Pyrrha couldn't contain her mirth and relief. She laughed. A genuine, unrestrained laugh. Jaune may have lost all three spars, but the tips...and the laugh...he had received made him the real winner tonight. "It is a very nice aquarium. The fish are quite attractive..."
Jaune turned around to grab two waters out of the cooler. "And there's nothing in our room that you think is attractive?"
His back was turned, thus causing him to miss Pyrrha's blush put her hair's shade to shame. "W-Well, I..."
"Hey, Pyrrha, got a question about the pets though..." Jaune sat down on a nearby bench and extended the water in his left hand towards his partner.
"G-Go ahead," Pyrrha said as she accepted the offered bottle of water.
"I thought you ladies had your heart set on a puppy," Jaune observed.
Pyrrha actually pouted. Pouted! "We truly did. I know Weiss and Ruby were devastated when Professor Goodwitch said no."
"Wait...why did you go to Goodwitch?" Jaune asked in shock. "She's the strictest person on Remnant!"
"Weiss actually tried to call Professor Peach. She is on good terms with her and we hoped that the friendly relationship could be leveraged."
Jaune smiled sympathetically. "Wrong number?"
"That is the worst part, Jaune. We dialed the right number! Goodwitch picked up!" Pyrrha sighed dejectedly.
'Wow, Pyrrha really wanted a puppy,' Jaune thought glumly. He was fighting the urge to run out, and regulations be damned, buy his partner the single most adorable puppy he could find.
The Invincible Girl continued. "Weiss and I tried every logical argument possible, but nothing would work."
"You were talking to Goodwitch. She's a very...fierce and focused woman," The Chef pointed out in sympathy.
"I know," Pyrrha grumbled. "Not even Ruby and Weiss crying worked! I...may have allowed a moment of laxity in my emotional control as well."
The image of Pyrrha, Weiss, and especially Ruby turning on the waterworks very nearly caused Jaune to run to the nearest pet store. He actually jumped up.
"Is something wrong, Jaune?" Pyrrha took a cautious step towards Jaune.
The Huntsman lowered his head. "I-I am kinda fighting off the urge to risk suspension or worse to buy you a puppy now..."
"I appreciate the sentiment, but I would prefer my partner not face the wrath of Professor Goodwitch regardless of how chivalrous the reason," Pyrrha joked. Jaune chuckled at the joke and decided that between Pyrrha's laugh, Blake's smile, and the million other little details he was noticing in his friends death by overdosing on proximity to beautiful women was definitely not the worst way to go.
The 'debate' over where the inaugural RWBY/JNPR dinner lasted all of twenty-six seconds. Jaune and Ren had been well prepared to suggest having it in JNPR's room, but they were outnumbered seven-to-one. The first twenty-seconds had been the declaration by the women that it would be near the aquarium. The rest had been Jaune and Ren simply saying yes.
"Seven-to-one?" Ren asked Jaune.
"Crescent Rose is a girl as well as a gun. Ruby is quite...adamant...about people properly addressing her baby," Jaune explained.
"I can tell," Ren agreed. Jaune's closest guy friend didn't talk much, but the chef honestly enjoyed the to the point (and very sane) change of pace. Ruby, Nora, and Yang had enough hyperactive energy to power the CCTS for all time.
The two young men finished transferring all the utensils, ingredients, and accessories to RWBY's dorm. All the young women were sitting around the horrifically makeshift bunk beds and the ridiculously expensive fish tank chatting amicably.
"Any clue how that works?" Jaune gestured to the 'physics don't work like that' setup.
Ren hummed thoughtfully. "It appears that while you cannot cook hopes and dreams, they do manage to hold bunk beds together while violating all known engineering principles."
"I'm just going to pretend to accept it and not think too hard about it," the chef admitted.
"For the best," Ren readily agreed.
Weiss's tarts would take the longest to make and Jaune suggested the two cooks for the evening began prepping that part of the meal.
"You're really good with pastries," Jaune complimented.
Ren smiled as he finished the shell of the 'for everyone' tart. "I've had a lot of practice. Nora adores pancakes."
"Heh, as long as you two have been together, I'm not surprised," Jaune teased as he finished the filling and sat it aside.
"Well...not together-together," Ren admitted.
Jaune leveled a flat glare at his closest guy friend. "I call bullshit."
"It's...complicated," JNPR's rock of emotional stability said offhandedly. Jaune understood that now wasn't the time to press and let it drop. He instead turned the conversation towards the misadventures the girls had gotten into with the aquarium.
"That smells so good!" Nora called out. "What are you two making in there?"
"We finished the tart, mostly. Just gotta let it set. Ren and I are working on the tortillas now." Jaune's explanation did not halt the two young men's work.
Yang stalked over and looked into the kitchen. "Holy crap. There's almost nothing pre-made. You're not heating the tortillas. They're being home made!" She whirled around. "We can keep these two, ladies!"
"So glad you are supporting Weiss's gracious living permissions," Jaune laughed as he started on the prep work for the mahi. "If Ren and I are lucky, will you let us be seen in public near you, Oh Pantheon of Goddesses?"
"Only if you grovel!" Nora called out.
Weiss tapped her chin. "We would require grovelling."
"Lots of it!" Ruby agreed.
"Excessive even," Yang supplied. Pyrrha and Blake exchanged a look before adding their agreement in the form of a nod. Jaune smiled as he finished seasoning the mahi. Quickly, he was overcome by the feeling he was being very closely observed.
He looked up and was met by a very, very, very attentive Blake Belladonna. Pyrrha had also moved away from Nora's animated lecture on why a trained attack electric eel was the next logical purchase for the communal aquarium. Jaune raised an eyebrow at the scene playing out. 'I swear, if Pyrrha and Blake...definitely Blake...were Faunus and had tails like Dalm and Atian, they'd be wagging...'
The image was yet another attempt by the universe to drive home the fact that Jaune was hopelessly attracted to all of his female friends. Even Nora was very pretty, but she was pretty much married to Ren despite the hollow denials that the two made sounded.
Jaune decided to have a go at both Blake and Pyrrha. He quietly moved the mahi to the left. Blake wasn't even hiding the fact that she was following the large fillets. Pyrrha's attention was clearly on the food as well. He chuckled as the mahi hit the pan. Jaune swore he heard Blake's heart beat over the wonderful sound of the fish cooking.
Pyrrha may not have been openly drooling like Blake, but she was clearly eager for the meal. The Invincible Girl had worked Jaune into the ground. Jaune actually enjoyed seeing both beauties let their guard down a bit. They seemed that much more accessible. Jaune had everyone's undivided attention when he called out, "Done!"
Everyone watched eagerly as Jaune put the finishing touches on the dishes. There was no way Jaune would cut any corners. That meant proper presentation. Cilantro, lime wedges, the avocado lime sauce, and tomatoes added some very nice color to the tacos.
"Fish," Blake moaned in anticipation.
Weiss hummed appreciatively. "This is professional quality, Jaune. I'm sure it will live up to the plate presentation."
"Fish..." Blake repeated.
Jaune bowed slightly. "Thank you Weiss." He quickly finished passing out the tacos. Once everyone had received some tacos, he motioned with his free hand. "Enjoy."
The cook had been expecting the meal to go over well. He certainly had not expected a few nigh-sexual moans from the women. Blake's eyes had glazed over and she nearly melted out of her seat.
Yang had to set her taco down. "H-Holy shit...Just...holy shit, Jaune!"
Nora had already devoured both of her tacos. "Those shells were like dinner pancakes! Why has the world hidden such wonders from me? What did I ever do to make the universe force hard taco shells on me?!"
Pyrrha took a second to lick a bit of the avacado lime sauce off her thumb with a very pleased hum. Between that action, Blake's borderline religious experience, Weiss's 'unique' appraising looks, and finally Ruby licking her lips, Jaune wasn't sure if he could survive their reaction to dessert.
"I think we did our jobs, Ren," Jaune laughed as he grabbed some of the food for himself.
"Indeed," the night's sous-chef agreed. Those who were capable of talking discussed the aquarium. It definitely was a conversation piece.
"Now!" Jaune announced as he stood up. "Ladies, Ren...Weiss!"
"Hey!"
Jaune winked at the Schnee Heiress. "It is time for dessert. Blueberry Lemon Tarts!"
"I want mine," Weiss said eagerly. She had never expected tacos of all things to be a top five food experience. Somehow, Jaune had made such plebeian food a full on sinful experience. It had fired the pleasure centers of her brain something fierce.
Jaune retrieved the personal tart, complete with fancy garnish on a fancy plate, and delivered it to Weiss. "Madam..."
The heiress rolled her eyes at Jaune's overacting. She was still having a blast in such a relaxed atmosphere surrounded by people who were rapidly becoming true friends. That all paled in comparison to the glorious blueberry dessert in front of her. If it tasted as good as it looked, she would definitely be kidnapping Jaune and chaining him to the oven.
With perfect manners, Weiss took a bite. The pale beauty wiped her mouth daintily before setting her fork down. "Miss Pyrrha Nikos, how attached to your partner are you?"
There was something off about the un-rhythmic breathing behind Weiss's question. Speaking of questions, everyone had more than one as they noticed the heiress fidgit and rub her legs together.
"Quite attached," Pyrrha managed to pull of the perfect mix of humor, politeness, and utter possessiveness to keep everyone guessing which emotion was the primary feeling.
Nora stared in awe at the larger 'sharing size' tart Jaune had brought from the kitchen. "We like our fearless leader. He says that if I behave, I can break some jerk's legs in combat training. Renny is also his brother-from-another-mother and you wouldn't break up a family would you, Weiss? Huh? HUH? HUH?!"
"Am I correct in assuming that Team JNPR would take offense to me kidnapping Jaune, chaining him up in the kitchen and enslaving him to be Team RWBY's personal cook then?" Weiss asked in tones usually reserved for a business negotiation.
"Yes!" The NPR of JNPR declared.
Ruby trembled as she ate her tart. She swallowed after clearly not taking a bite. Her face flushed; she turned towards JNPR. "I have to give my full blessing to my partner's brilliant plan."
Pyrrha had taken a moment to eat her serving of the dessert. "Jaune is ours (mine!) and I am afraid you cannot have him. I have already stopped one attempted kidnapping, and now I have Ren and Nora to help me protect Jaune."
"I'm still here. You all realize that right?" Jaune asked.
"Silence, Fugitive. We're objectifying you," Yang jokingly snapped. Her grin became enormous. "Say, if we are objectifying Jaune...anyone else vote he takes his pants off?"
"Only if Ren does too!" Nora crowed. "Off with those pants boys! Time for a giant step forward for Gender Equality!"
Yang, by this point, was dying laughing. There was no way she couldn't be running full speed into a comedic fatality. Nora was a hoot. Pyrrha and Ruby were as red as their hair and cloak respectively. Weiss was looking down in her lap, desperately trying to make her blush less conspicuous. Yang's partner was staring owlishly at Yang. Blake gasped and tried to hide her blush with her hands. The Brawler and Nora exchanged a look that could be construed as 'It looks like steam is coming out of her ears!'
"Well? What are you boys waiting for?" Yang demanded.
Nora crossed her arms. "Yeah! I'm in the mood for dinner and a show! Get going!"
"DAMN IT, YANG!" Jaune cried out in embarrassment. The fact that his blush put everyone else to shame just made the night better. After a few minutes, the two teams had somewhat calmed down. Ruby and Pyrrha had decided to help Jaune clean up the kitchen. Everything had reached a period of almost zen-like calm.
Then, Nora decided to Nora like Nora had never Nora'd before. "But seriously...Renny...Jaune...you need to take those pants off."
Author's Note: Ladies and Gentlemen...help. I can't stop writing this fic! I'd like to take the opportunity to thank several people.
First, to this fic's sous chef: Dread Knight N7. He's the one responsible for the title and summary of this fic. No, you don't get credit for that! It was the Hive Mind and you know it!
Second: Holy crap! I had no idea this fic would take off like it has. So thank you to everyone who reviewed, alerted, and favorited this story! You guys have seen what reviews do. They turn me into a junkie for 'em. I pumped out an over 7,000 word chapter in 7 days while taking a two week graduate level course to get AP US History certification added to my Teaching Licence.
Seriously, you guys have blown my mind! Bon Appetit!